Альфа и Омега Клыкастая братва Article: Alpha And Omega- JACKASS

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posted by trueshadowwolf

Warning language, other sick stuff, and violents and pranks
"Hello, my name is humphrey the omega, AND THIS IS JACKASS!!!!" humphrey said. He got out a Футбол ball, filled with bees. He kicked it at garth, and thier asses were getting stung. "Oh Shit, ha ha ha!!!" Humphrey laughed. "DUDE THATS NOT COOL.... THE FUCK? I THINK MY жопа, попка IS NUM NOW." garth shouted at humphrey.

The squrrel.

Humphrey goes to a forest. Kate sawed him. "Hey humphrey!" Kate shouted. Then humphrey went behind a дерево Then all the sudden a squrrel showed up. *Kate tips her head* " huh, humphrey?!" Kate сказал(-а) confuseingly. "Humphrey.... Is that you?!" Kate said. Then humphrey was behind the дерево laughing. "Wha--- what the hell.... Are Ты trying to prank me!" Kate shouted. "I also Опубликовано it on YouTube. " humphrey said. Then Kate got very pissed off. And kicked humphreys ass.

The gorilla.

" okay mooch, what I want Ты to do is dress up as a gorilla, we are going to scare kates parents!" Humphrey said. "Ok got it... Ha ha ha.... Oh oh oh oh!!!" Mooch said. Then mooch out the costume on. "Okay wait until eve and Winston come back, stay in this den, I will signal you!" Humphrey said.

Later....

Eve and Winston got back. Mooch was in There closet. Then mooch came out. "OH, OH, OOH, OOH!!!" mooch came out with a gorilla suit on. Then eve and Winston got out of the den. "What the hell is that?!" Eve said. "Dont worry ma'am i got this, Im a zoology expert, his a gorilla... Hold on i got this." Salty said. He went up to the gorilla. The the gorilla grabbed Salty and pretending to перфоратор, удар, пунш him. "What the hell?" Eve said. She saw a zipper behind its back. She unzipped it and she knew it was mooch. Then eve got all pissed off and kicked both thier asses.

Forest boxing.

Humphrey and Kate were just in thier den. Then all a sudden Salty and shakey came in with boxing uniforms. And mooch was shouting. " SALTY THE SHOCKER VS. SHAKEY THE ROCKER!!!" Then Kate said. "What the hell?!" Kate said. Then shakey and Salty began to beat the Shit out if each other. "Basturd!!!" Salty shouted. " Bring it on Shit head!!!" Shakey said. Then Salty won. "WINNER, SALTY THE SHOCKER!!!!" mooch said. Then humphrey and Kate were claping slowly.

The portal potty.

Garth found a portal potty. He was about to use the restroom. Then all the sudden a exploseive came and Shit came out. And garth had Shit all over him. Then he came out. "What the fuck Man! What the fuck!!!" Garth figured out it was humphrey. Humphrey was laughing. Then garth pushed him. "Fucking douchbag!" Garth said.

Weigie!

Humphrey was just walking through through the forest. Garth was behind a tree. Humphrey doesnt know. Then garth pushed a Button. The a underwear showed up and There was a hook on it and it get whole of humphrey and the underwear got on him. And he was hanging. With the underwear, his wearing. " oh Shit!!!" Humphrey shouted. He was hanging 6 feet up the air. "Ha ha ha Im just gonna let bang There for a day!" Garth said. "This isnt funny! Help!" Humphrey said.

How to beat the Shit out of your sister!!!

"Hello, my name is Kate, and Im going to beat the Shit out of my sister all day... Right Now shes in the bathroom... " Kate said. Then Kate opened the bathroom door and beat the Shit outta Lilly while she was urinating. Then Kate left. "Kate... What the hell is the matter with you! Fucking fagget!" Lilly said.

Later...

"Hello my name is Lilly, Im going to get back at my sister.... And Im going to beat the Shit out of her too.... Right Now shes in the логово, ден sleeping.... " Lilly said. Then Lilly sneeked in her room. She was sleeping. Then Lilly beat the Shit out of Lilly. "PAYBACK!!!" Lilly said. "What the hell is going on here!" Eve said. "Well shes the one that beat the Shit out of me first." Lilly said. "Oh Shut up!" Kate said. Then Lilly was pulling her hair. "Ahhh damnit!" Kate shouted. Then Kate was biting her. "Hey stop that или ill beat the Shit outta you!" Eve shouted. They both Sitted. "Sorry Kate!" Lilly said. "Sorry Lilly!" Kate said. "Hey wheres humphrey?" Kate asked. "I dont know." Lilly said.
Humphrey was still hanging on the underwear. "Someone help!" Humphrey shouted. "Anybody?" Humphrey said. Then a squrrel was chewing on the rope. And humphrey fell. "Thank you!" Humphrey said. He took off the underwear. Humphrey went to his den. "Damn it... My Dick hurts!" Humphrey said.

End of episode

cgova4 and OmegaLeader like this

dontforgetme hahahahaha xD

OmegaLeader Ha I was laughing most of the time XD fanned it!

slydog11 that's so f***king funny i think i wet my self?

slydog11 this is funny hahahahahhahahahah XD XD XD

ecology that is super funny

LoneOmega Very funny xD hahahahahaha!

thehumphrey hahahaha pawsome XD lol

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Life with crystal: chapter 5: Breaking news

posted by metalwolf116

The Далее morning we were woken up early by the sound of sirens blaring loudly in our ears, the flash или police lights shining brightly through the window. naturally worry was spreading through out my body and i could feel my adrenaline pumping. I could see that crystal was worried too as she looked up wide eyed into my own eyes breathing heavily grabbing me tight for protection, before i knew she had buried her head into my chest and had closed her eyes as if this was the last moment we would spend together.

Crystal: "Daniel!? What's going on!? What's with all the sirens!?"

Me: "Crystal; I don't...

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Chapter 6 - Where's Salty

posted by AlphaWolfCurt

Chapter 6

Where’s Salty

As the sun rose again over Jasper Park.

Humphrey again awoke to see Kate lying Далее to him; he smiled, got up and walked out to the entrance to their логово, ден and sat outside and looked over the valley. ”Wow it is really beautiful here” he thought.

Kate then woke up to see Humphrey wasn’t Далее to her. “Humphrey!” she yelled. “Yes my darling Kate, what is it” Humphrey replied as he walked back into the логово, ден where Kate was lying. “I thought Ты had left me baby” Kate replied. “No, baby why would I do that” Humphrey replied immediately. “I don’t know...

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The Alpha and Omega Girls In: The Hangover *Preview*

posted by Red_Pyramid206

Kate opened her eyes and moaned. Her head hurt like crazy, plus she could not remember what happened. She noticed her pants and underwear were missing. At first she thought she was raped but then her vag was not sore. So hopefully she wasnt. She looked around to see the room TRASHED.

"Oh Fuck" Kate said, "What the hell happened?"

Suddenly, she heard movement. Kate looked and saw Lilly, slowly getting to her feet.

"Lilly? What the fuck happened last night?" Kate said, looking for pants.

Lilly just fell over again. Kate sighed and helped her little sister up. Lilly yawned and then reality hit...

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Life with Kylie Chapter 1- The woods

posted by Katelover812

The день was young and the air was cool. I always Любовь to walk through the woods near my house. Its about a 4 mile trail.I was about 3 miles in when I heard rustling in the bushes to my side. I heard whatever it was walk away so I decided to follow the noise. When I got down to a riverside trail I saw her for the first time. A beutiful looking wolf. Light blonde мех and blue eyes. I walked down to the river pretending like I didnt see her.

"Holy Shit!!" She сказал(-а) as I came out of the trees.
"Sorry if I scared Ты I was just............wait did Ты just talk?" And now I was freaked out. I then...

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Aftermath: Chapter 3, Contingency plans

posted by TrollWolf

Humphrey had noticed the tall dark Волки that were surrounding him as he was speaking with Hunter. "How are Ты still alive?" asked Hunter, still not believing that Humphrey could once еще walk among the living.

"You can ask the Masters that one." Humphreys voice deepened and startd to sound like leaves rustling in the wind as the white in his eyes began to glow. "I'd suggest that Ты make ammends for what Ты did to me and the packs, Ты flee and tick ridden worm infested sack of scum unworthy to even be on the floors of Hell."

"When did Ты grow a pair?" Hunter was begining to feel as...

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Bella's Revenge: Chapter 4: A dangerous mission.

posted by Wolfman32

2 week's later. Shadow's POV.

I was so bored with just handling skirmishes that happend outside the territory. I wanted to go and destroy the enemy now. Fang wanted to do the same. Me and him were just getting Главная right now. We had just taken out a stone lion who was trying to break through the territory. We both had cuts and bruises, But nothing serios. We both walked into the den. Everybody looked up at us.

"Oh my gosh Shadow are Ты alright?" Aleu cried. I rolled my eyes. She just cared about me to much. It was getting annoying.

"I'm fine Aleu. Calm down." I said. She just kept on worrying...

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Bella's Revenge: Chapter 1 New Leaders

posted by Wolfman32

Read Humphrey's Secret first. This is the sequel.

Humphrey's POV.

It had been four weeks since I fought my brother Seth and killed him. Me, Kate, Garth,and Lilly were all walking up to Winston and Eve's логово, ден for they had called us. I walked in first with Kate leaning on her cause of my still broken leg and bruised ribs.Garth and Lilly followed us. When we got there we saw Tony inside with Eve and Winston.

"Hey dad what are Ты doing here?" Garth asked his father. Tony looked around with a smile.

"Well son there's going to be a big change for the pack today." Tony told us. We sat down. Garth...

Life With Katie: Watching Kate Pt. 2/2 - Affair and Confessions

posted by Red_Pyramid206

Me as a волк crying after a hurtful discovery. (I did not do this I only put the symbol on.)

Me as a wolf crying after a hurtful discovery. (I did not do this I only put the symbol on.)

NOTE: Remember anything between me and Kate is pure fiction. I am with Katie and Kate is still with Jon. Actually Katie wanted me to write this to see what it would be like. She told me Kate was ok with it too.

I was speechless, Kate and I broke away from our kiss. "Uh, Kate?" I said, still kinda shocked. Before she could answer, the Далее thing I knew, I was all over her. I took my clothes off and locked the door. Me knowing Katie was knocked out. I didn't feel as bad at first, because she was technically Kate from another universe. With that in out heads, Kate and I did the worst thing, we...

LWG [Life With Garth] Chapter 1

posted by Xscash232

It was early sunday in Idaho and i felt like driving up to Jasper park canada I got up took a душ got dressed and Left.

It was a sunny день and i took out my Ford F-150 V8 and drove twoards canada but it would be a long жопа, попка trip. ~12 hours later~ I arrived in Jasper. I was tired and low on fuel and i stopped at a gas station and filled up and i went to the motel across the улица, уличный from the dirt road to Jasper. ~Next morning~ I got up got dressed and went across the улица, уличный to the dirt road in my Ford and i drove down it and soon i saw the sign saying "WELCOME TO JASPER INTERNATIONAL PARK"...

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Life With Katie: Getting Back to Normal

posted by Red_Pyramid206

It was a sad day, Katie somewhat dying and then finding out that she was pregnant with my son who was stillborn, that was just too much. It turns out that the guy who hit Katie came to visit. His name was Buddy and he was in tears. He told me how he had done a stupid thing and he had an alcohol problem. He promised me he would go to AA and quit drinking for good and he asked me if I would forgive him. Katie forgave him and so did I, even though I still wanted to blow his fucking head off with my .44 magnum. After that, it was a slow recovery. Katie had to stay in the Hospital for a couple...

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Life With Scar: Part 21: I Miss Ты

posted by HumphreyAlpha

Poor Kate

(June 24, 2011)

The Sikorsky landed at Colville Municipal airport at a quarter to eight in the evening. The landing was one of my smoothest in Последнее flights and it earned me a glance of approval from my Scar.
Kate, however, didn't even look up. She just sat there in the crew chiefs seat, staring at the ground with a depressed look on her face.
"Kate?" Scar asked uncertainly.
She looked up at her. Her eyes were clouded and she just looked miserable.
I made an executive decision and scooped her up. She offered no resistance and just laid there in my arms.
With Scar hot on my heels, I carried...

Chapter 53: еще boats stolen and Newcomers come

posted by UriahA

Shakey, Salty, and Mooch came to Humphrey house.
“Hey, Humphrey!” Shakey said
“What up guys?”
“Sorry for your loss!” Mooch said.
“She was no loss!”
“Really?”
“Well, I’ll miss her, but she’s where she belongs.”
“You mean how she’s burning…”
Shakey elbowed Salty in the gut to prevent Salty from reminding Humphrey that she’s in hell.
“We came because we want to steal those planes.”
“Alright, we could do that. Come back in an hour.”
15 минуты later, the doorbell rang, “Has it been an hour?”
“No it hasn’t.”
They left. 15 минуты after that,...

Life With Scar: Part 18: Hell или High Water

posted by HumphreyAlpha

(June 6, 2011)

The first ten минуты of my drive, I couldn't see shit because I was crying too hard. It's a miracle that I didn't crash my CO's four hundred and fifty thousand dollar Ferrari 599 GTO. After that though, my eyes were clear enough for me to see.
Once I got out of the massive amount of traffic near Harborview, I made a phone call.
ring ring "Answer dammit!" ring ring
He picked up. "Hello?"
"Hello?!" I сказал(-а) hurriedly. "Jon?"
"Yeah," he сказал(-а) slowly.
"It's Colby! Scar ran out on me! She сказал(-а) she was going to your house. Have Ты gotten a call from her?"
"She ran out on you? What happened?"...

Life With Scar: Part 13: Going Down in Flames

posted by HumphreyAlpha

What was left of the plane...

(June 2, 2011)
(the end of the airshow)

The volatile aviation fuel mixed with the heat in the compressor of the right engine and lit. The subsequent detonated tore the tail of the F-22 fighter apart with a bone-shaking boom.
The shockwave from the explosion slammed my helmeted head against the instrument panel, making me see stars.

* * *

"COLBY!" Scar screamed.

* * *

I blinked the stars out of my eyes and snatched the controls. I wrestled with the stick, trying futilely to bring what was left of the aircraft back under control. The controls vibrated violently in my grasp as the control surfaces shook...

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Alpha and omega and the heavy metal festival chapter 4

posted by metalwolf116

Time flies by and the festival of metal draws ever closer and even the old retired Волки are looking to make a good impression on the howling stage.

Eve: Winston Honey, its been days since we have practised our Пение или even our howling, come on in and practise with me darling.

Winston sat outside enjoying the rays of sunshine raining down upon him until he heard the fiery voice of his death Энджел beckoning from their log mansion.

Eve: Winston!!

Winston: God damn it woman, can't Ты see that i am trying to rest out here, this back doesn't straighten itself out Ты know.

Eve: NOW WINSTON!!!

A scared...

Life With Scar: Part 11: Halfway Gone

posted by HumphreyAlpha

(March 31, 2011)
(this is after we get Главная from the vet’s office)

“This is Colby Browning for Dr. Johnston,” I сказал(-а) to Milly the secretary. She put me on hold and transferred the call.
“This is Dr. Johnston,” he сказал(-а) when he came on the line.
“Hey, doc, this is that guy that pulled a gun on Ты earlier,” I сказал(-а) hesitatingly. There was only silence. “Anyway, I’m just calling to apologize for that. I would never have pulled the trigger and Ты were in no danger at any point. I just had to get back there and make sure that Scar got treated.”
When the doctor first spoke, there...

Humphrey and Kate together at last: Part 2 Humphrey's first концерт Part 1

posted by Xscash232

Early Saturday morning Humphrey was getting ready to preform in front Of this huge crowd of some say 300,000 Волки and he was a nervous wreck then he saw Kate's face in the crowd and it was like the whole crowd dissapeared except her and Humphrey felt much еще confident.

Humphrey was signaled by his band that they were ready and he began to play the гитара [This song belongs to Metallica the song is One]

Humphrey: I can't remember anything
can't tell if this is true или dream
deep down inside I feel to scream
this terrible silence stops me

now that the war is through with me
I'm waking up,...

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Humphrey's nascar racing days: Part 2 John starts racing

posted by xscash23

Jon after the pack of car passes him flipping down the track

[THIS SERIES WILL ALWAY BE FROM JON'S POINT OF VIEW] Here i am at the age of 4 sitting behind the wheel it now lap 298 we have two laps to go and we are coming to the green flag ok here my first race is under way i'm in 5th and my dad is leading so i will try to pass between two cars and hopefully not wreck [here comes my big rookie mistake] i went to pass and as i got to the front of Kyle he swerved his car becoming loose and tap my back bumper causeing me to slide on the straight away and i got hit by another car and i was fliped on my side and then i was ramed by another and i rolled on...

Chapter 37: ":I nearly caught a suspect Ты nubs!"

posted by UriahA

Humphrey was taking his lunch break. He went and pick up his Друзья and went to “Grubb in the box.”
“Can I take your order please?” the attendant asked.
“I’ll have a number 9,” Humphrey said.
“I’ll also have a number 9,” Shakey said.
“I’ll have a number 6 with extra dip,” Salty said.
“I’ll have two number 9’s, a number 9 large, a number 6 with extra dip, two number 45’s, one with cheese, and a large soda,” сказал(-а) Mooch.
“Fat guy,” Shakey said.
“You’re paying,” Humphrey said.
Humphrey pulled up to the секунда window, “You know, there’s a huge...

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the life of garth and lily: chapter 1: after the moonlight howl

posted by kingdom123

it is the night after the moon light howl me and lily are heading Главная from a great carabou ужин we have had a lot going on humphrey and kate had got married yesterday and lilly's dad is sick so we have not had any time to spend together. garth' what are Ты thinking about asked lily, "oh nothing i was just thinking about your dad and how he is doing". "i am shure he is fine lily conforted me, yeah i shouldnt worry about that should i i сказал(-а) like a complete idiot.

when we got back to our логово, ден i laid down right away i was so tired that i couldn't even hold my own weight. "boy i am really tired...