Warning: Mild language.
Also, my секунда name isn't actualy "Dent".
Chris's science project opened the door for him as he got home. "Evening, Chris. Ты seem stressed." ROMbot said. The robot was a small, floating sphere with hydraulic arms and a face that looked like they'd been tacked on by a first grader.
"I am. Take a look at this."
He handed over the note.
"Cool. Where'd Ты get it, a joke shop?"
"ROM." chris half-shouted. "This is serous!"
"This COULD BE serious."
"I'm not taking chances. Ты know me."
"I could sum Ты up in two words, yes."
"Yes. Paranoid Prick."
"Thanks. That's put me in a great mood."
"Glad to help."
Chris started towards the stairs. "I think i'll watch a bit of TV."
"Erm, chris," ROMbot said. "I... erm... had an accedent."
"Well, put it this way. You'd have to be very clever или else very good at jigsaws to use the TV again."
"Well, this guy from your office, yeah, he told me that plasma TVs make a different noise to normal ones, yeah, when Ты smash them."
There was a long silence.
Just then there was a knock at the door. Chris and his mentaly disabled android friend froze. There was another knock. Chris opened the door.
"Have Ты thought about buying a-"
"You're trying to sell me somthing, aren't you?"
"Well... yes? I'm a door to door salesman. It's my job."
"What do Ты sell?"
Chris began to slowly close the door.
"We sell televisions, too!"
Chris opened it again.
"Actualy, a TV is just what I need right now. Mine is broken. It got smashed."
"Can't think how," Came ROMbot's voice.
The salesman leaned over Chris's sholder.
"Oh, nothing. Would Ты like to come in?"
Once he'd closed the door, he turned to the salesman, only to find him pointing a gun at his head.
"What the f-"
"Now, mr. dent. Ты are going to die, and Ты are going to scream while Ты die, and then Ты will be dead."
Chris did the only logical thing he could do. He locked himself in a toilet.
"I know you're in there, Christopher Dent!"
The "Salesman" yelled as he banged on the door. Chris didn't know how this man knew his name, and frankly he didn't want to. He was going to die, in here. He knew who had sent this man. His employers. There had been two clues. One, tim's face and body language when saying goodbye, and Two, the fact that the salesman was wearing sunglasses at night. As they were always saying in old movies, he knew too much. He backed up and knocked a toy bus of the shelf.
"Be nice to your friends!" It choroused as it bounced of his head. "You'd do well to take your own advice." he muttered, crushing the wrenched thing under his shoe. Then he noticed somthing. There was a pack of plungers sitting in the corner, Далее to Kenny's old potty. Holding his nose, he grabbed two. He examined the wall. It was wet. The window had been open all night and the rain had come in. He had an idea. He spat into a plunger and suckered it to the wall. He tested it. Perfect. He kept doing this and eventualy made a ladder to the window with them. He began to climb, but just then, the door fell open. This time, the "Salesman" was holding a freeze ray. CHRIS's freeze ray. He fired, and narrowly missed chris, instead hitting the cistern. It exploded, and some srapnel hit him in the face. He shouted somthing, but Chris couldn't hear. He'd climbed out onto the window ledge.
He could see ROMbot bellow. And behind him was Chris's lawnmower. A plan began to form in Chris's mind. He jumped. ROMbot caught him. "Close shave, eh Chris? Chris? Chris! Where are Ты going!"
Chris dragged the lawnmower around the side of the building and gestured for ROM to follow him.
"What are we doing, Chris?"
The "Salesman" jumped from the window ledge and landed perfectly on the ground. He looked around him. Chris got the lawnmower ready. It wasn't much, just a twin turbo engine. 0 to 60 in two seconds. And a targeting system. He started it. The "Salesman" turned just in time to see the lawnmower coming round the corner. He seemed to forget he was holding the freeze ray. He ran. It was actualy quite comical. He tripped over a rock and turned to see certain death in the form of gardening equipment speeding towards him.
Then he did the worst thing he possibly could have done.
He shot the lawnmower in mid air with the freeze ray. It sped towards him, encased in solid ice. It went over a hill, but it no longer had grippy wheels to keep it on the ground. It was launched into the air and began to fall towards the Холодное сердце "Salesman". Chris couldn't bring himself to watch any more. He heard a bloodcurdling scream, a sickening crunch and the soft thump of a fedora hitting the ground. He looked over the fallen дерево in his back yard that he'd been hiding behind. It wasn't a pretty sight. He saw his lawnmower, encased in ice, lying in a puddle of blood. Chris just stared. This was insane. He was insane. Well, actualy, he'd been insane for a while now. It'd never stopped him before.
"What a crushing experience." ROMbot said. It was an unfortunate choice of words. "Still. It's a good thing to put into that 101 amazing ways to die book."
"You do know we can't stay here. They'll lift that up. Find him. And then they'll come after us. We have to hide. We have to go somwhere where nobody will ever find us."
There was a long silence.
"How about Jasper Park Canada?" ROM asked.