sex with me, keep dreaming

Another email.

WOMAN'S PERFECT BREAKFAST

She's sitting at the таблица with her gourmet coffee.
Her son is on the cover of the Wheaties box.
Her daughter is on the cover of Business Week.
Her boyfriend is on the cover of Playgirl.
And her husband is on the back of the молоко carton.




WOMEN'S REVENGE

"Cash, check или charge?" I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase. As she fumbled for her wallet, I noticed a remote control for a Телевидение set in her purse. "So, do Ты always carry your TV remote?" I asked. "No," she replied, "but my husband refused to come shopping with me, and I figured...

More emails...

Men Are Just Happier People

Your last name stays put. The гараж is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Шоколад is just another snack. Ты can be President. Ты can never be pregnant. Ты can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. Ты can wear NO рубашка to a water park. Car mechanics tell Ты the truth.

The world is your urinal. Ты never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky. Ты don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, еще pay. Wrinkles add character.

Wedding dress - $5000. Tux rental...

From an email I got.

Rules for Men

1) Any man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be legally killed and eaten by his fellow partygoers.

2) Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.

3) Unless he murdered someone in your family, Ты must bail a friend out of jail within 12 hours.

4) If you've known a guy for еще than 24 hours, his sister is off limits forever, unless Ты actually marry her.

5) Complaining about the brand of free пиво in a buddy's fridge is forbidden. Gripe at will if the temperature is unsuitable.

6) When stumbling upon other guys watching a sporting event,...

More lovely emails!! Guys, pay attention!

9 WORDS WOMEN USE

1. Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and Ты need to shut up.

2. Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five минуты is only five минуты if Ты have just been дана five еще минуты to watch the game before helping around the house.

3. Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and Ты should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.

4. Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!

5. Loud Sigh: This isn’t...