From an email I got.
TAKING A WOMAN TO постель, кровати
What is the difference between girls/woman aged: 8, 18, 28, 38, 48, 58, 68, and 78?
At 8 -- Ты take her to постель, кровати and tell her a story.
At 18 -- Ты tell her a story and take her to bed.
At 28 -- Ты don’t need to tell her a story to take her to bed.
At 38 -- She tells Ты a story and takes Ты to bed.
At 48 -- She tells Ты a story to avoid going to bed.
At 58 -- Ты stay in постель, кровати to avoid her story.
At 68 -- If Ты take her to bed, that'll be a story!
At 78 -- What story??? What bed??? Who the hell are you???