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posted by isabelle_905
Here’s another email guys! LOL Enjoy!!

A Spanish Teacher was explaining to her class that in Spanish, unlike English, nouns are designated as either masculine или feminine. "House" for instance, is feminine: "la casa." "Pencil," however, is masculine: "el lapiz."

A student asked, "What gender is 'computer'?"

Instead of giving the answer, the teacher трещина, сплит the class into two groups, male and female, and asked them to decide for themselves whether "computer" should be a masculine или a feminine noun. Each group was asked to give four reasons for its recommendation.

The men's group decided that...
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posted by isabelle_905
Another email…


Dear Tech Support,

Last год I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow-down in в общем и целом, общая system performance - particularly in the цветок and jewellery applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, installation of Husband 1.0 seems to have uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed such other undesirable programs as NFL 5.0, NBA 3.0.and Golf клубы 4.1.

Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system.

I've tried running Nagging...
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posted by isabelle_905
More emails...

Men Are Just Happier People

Your last name stays put. The гараж is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Шоколад is just another snack. Ты can be President. Ты can never be pregnant. Ты can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. Ты can wear NO рубашка to a water park. Car mechanics tell Ты the truth.

The world is your urinal. Ты never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky. Ты don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, еще pay. Wrinkles add character.

Wedding dress - $5000. Tux rental...
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posted by isabelle_905
More lovely emails!! Ladies, I'm sure Ты can all vouch for these!

9 WORDS WOMEN USE

1. Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and Ты need to shut up.

2. Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five минуты is only five минуты if Ты have just been дана five еще минуты to watch the game before helping around the house.

3. Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and Ты should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.

4. Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!...
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posted by isabelle_905
I didn't write this. I got it in an email and it made me smile!! Enjoy!



The Why's of Men

1. WHY DO MEN BECOME SMARTER DURING SEX?
(because they are plugged into a genius)

2. WHY DON'T WOMEN BLINK DURING SEX?
(they don't have enough time)

3. WHY DOES IT TAKE 1 MILLION SPERM TO FERTILIZE ONE EGG?
(they don't stop to ask directions)

4. WHY DO MEN SNORE WHEN THEY LIE ON THEIR BACKS?
(because their balls fall over their butt-hole and they vapor lock)

5. WHY WERE MEN дана LARGER BRAINS THAN DOGS?
(so they won't hump women's legs at cocktails parties)

6. WHY DID GOD MAKE MEN BEFORE WOMEN?
(you need...
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posted by isabelle_905
From an email I got.

"The Rules" from the male side

We always hear ‘the rules’ from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. I’m not saying I like them, but it’s only fair to present both sides.

1.    Men are NOT mind readers.

2.    Learn to work the toilet seat. You’re a big girl. If it’s up, put it down. We need it up. Ты need it down. Ты don’t hear us complaining about Ты leaving it down.

3.    Sunday sports: It’s like the full moon или the changing of the tides. Let it be.

4.    ...
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