Welcome to the block, where a group of ponies that are Друзья live on the same block in Ponyville. And now for your hosts, Master Sword, and Tom Foolery.
Audience: *Cheering*
Master Sword & Tom: *Standing in front of a house*
Master Sword: Эй, everypony. Great to see Ты again.
Tom: Shut the f**k up.
Audience: *Laughing*
Master Sword: Tom, what was that for?
Tom: We need to forget about the jokes, and get things moving so the director won't get angry at us.
Master Sword: But we can't forget about jokes! This is a comedy show!
Audience: *Laughing*
Tom: I never сказал(-а) we weren't going to do jokes.
Master Sword: Yes Ты did.
Tom: No I didn't.
Master Sword: Well I'm pretty sure Ты did.
Tom: Yeah, well that's your opinion.
Audience: *Laughing*
Tom: Today's crossover parody, M*A*S*H Ponies On The Rails
Master Sword: And this is a crossover of.. Do we even have to say it? It's got both of the titles from the shows right there for you!
Audience: *Laughing*
For this crossover parody, the Season 3 Ponies On The Rails cast will be theirselves, but playing as the M*A*S*H ponies will be....
Tom Foolery as Captain Hawkeye Pierce
Saten Twist as Sargent Klinger
Double Scoop as Captain B.J Honnecut
Master Sword as Major Charles Emerson Winchester
Aina as Major Houllihan
and Mortomis as Colonel Potter
North Korea, 1953
One день at the 4077th M*A*S*H unit, Captain Hawkeye was in the swamp with B.J.
Hawkeye: Oh, Beej. We've got too many wounded coming in here.
Honnecut: Beej. If Ты say that backwards, it's Jeeb.
Hawkeye: That's close enough to jeep.
Audience: *Laughing*
Winchester: *Walks in* What do Ты two think you're doing?
Hawkeye: Nothing.
Honnecut: I never knew the army would punish somepony for doing nothing.
Audience: *Laughing*
Winchester: Your humor fails to amuse me, but I will enjoy seeing Ты two get sent to the klink. One еще foul up, and you'll both be in the stockade for a long time.
Hawkeye: Klink? Stockade?
Honnecut: Make up your mind.
Audience: *Laughing*
Meanwhile, Colonel Potter was in his room talking on a telephone.
Colonel Potter: We need a new way to get patients from here back to their unit..... What's that?...... A Railway Line?..... Oh, it was just a joke..... Well, as soon as Ты find another way, let me know.... Adios.
Hawkeye: *Walks in Potter's room* Hello Colonel.
Colonel Potter: Don't any of Ты knock?
Hawkeye: What for? There's a war going on.
Audience: *Laughing*
Hawkeye: What's up?
Colonel Potter: Somepony just told me the dumbest joke. He thought it was funny to tell me that we'd make a Railway to take ponies from here to their unit. It just wastes too much time.
Hawkeye: *Getting an idea* Maybe it's not good as a joke, but it's good for another thing. *Leaves office*
Colonel Potter: What's that supposed to mean?
Meanwhile, in Cheyenne Wyoming, also in the год 1953
Audience: *Laughing*
Pete: *Looking at telegram from Korea* I don't believe this!
Percy: *Walks into office* Sir? Everything okay?
Pete: No! We need to expand our line all the way to Korea!
Percy: Ты don't wanna go there. There's a war going on. *Leaves*
Audience: *Laughing*
Pete: Leave it to the army to screw things up.
Audience: *Laughing*
So the line was built all the way across the Pacific Ocean from San Franciscolt to Seoul. Then, it went all around the Equestrian Army's territory going to many M*A*S*H units, and army bases.
Major Houllihan: What is the meaning of all this?
Sargent Klinger: It's a Railway line.
A train was going across, but all of a sudden the bridge blew up.
Hawkeye: What happened?
Colonel Potter: That was one of ours!
Honnecut: What were they thinking?
Colonel Potter: They had no idea about this. Like I said, the army always screw things up.
Hawkeye: I have a feeling somepony сказал(-а) that before you.
Audience: *Laughing*
The End
On the Далее part of this episode, Tom Foolery, and Master Sword introduce us to еще ponies. Again.
They are...
Cosmic радуга from Emo_Brony47
Heartsong from Scougesgirl
Annie from Ameliarose2002
Blaze from Liam_A_Ninja
Sophie Shimmer from Aquagirl445
Snow Wonder from Dragonaura15
Theme Song: link
Master Sword: Come on Tom, let's go meet the others.
Tom: Right behind you.
Double Scoop: *Standing on улица, уличный corner*
Aina: *Runs out of her house*
Sunny: Hey, wait for me. *Flying in the middle of the street*
Saten Twist: *Polishing his chain saw, but stops to go meet the others*
Pleiades: *Arrives at corner*
Mortomis: *Standing Далее to Double Scoop*
Tom: еще ponies!!
Snow Wonder: *Arrives in a brand new Corvette*
Cosmic Rainbow: *Flies from the clouds*
Heartsong: *Climbs out of a manhole*
Annie: *Arrives on a bicycle*
Blaze: *Flies out of a house window, and lands Далее to Tom*
Sophie Shimmer: *Gets off of a slow moving bus*
All: We live together on the block!
Audience: *Clapping*
Announcer: Okay, stop the song! We need to keep this thing rolling.
Audience: *Laughing*
Episode 2: еще Introductions
Announcer: On The Block was filmed in front of a live audience.
Audience: *Laughing*
Announcer: Need I say more?
Audience: *Laughing*
Double Scoop: *Making a Jack-O lantern with an ice cream cone*
Snow Wonder: *Looking at Jack-O lantern* That looks really beautiful.
Double Scoop: Thanks. Have Ты ever wondered what the O stands for in Jack-O lantern?
Snow Wonder: No. What?
Double Scoop: Off.
Audience: *Laughing, and clapping*
Snow Wonder: Okay. *Walks away*
Meanwhile at Blaze's house, he was playing Call Of Duty: Advanced Warfare with Cosmic Rainbow.
Cosmic Rainbow: This game wasn't supposed to come out until November. How did Ты get it?
Blaze: With a little persuasion.
Cosmic Rainbow: What kind of persuasion?
Blaze: The kind that risks lives.
Audience: *Laughing*
Cosmic Rainbow: *Gets shot* Wait, what the hell? I shot that guy seven times in the head, and he never died.
Blaze: That's ridiculous. Ты must have missed.
Cosmic Rainbow: How does one miss the head of a пони when shooting a gun?
Audience: *Laughing*
Blaze: I'm not even gonna bother arguing with Ты *His character falls through the ground* Wait, what the--
Cosmic Rainbow: Be prepared for the ultimate rage.
Blaze: FFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUU
He was shouting so loud that it was heard everywhere. It was heard in Manehattan, on the train to Canterlot, and it was even heard in China.
Chinese Pony: Sounds rike somepony is angry.
Chinese пони 2: Jawohr.
Chinese Pony: Stop trying to speak German.
Audience: *Laughing*
Back at Blaze's house...
Blaze: *Takes game out of PS4, and puts it back in case* This is stupid.
Cosmic Rainbow: What are Ты going to do?
Blaze: I am going to-
The doorbell rang.
Blaze: Hmm. *Brings game to the front door, and opens the door*
Colt: *Dressed up as a tree* Trick или treat.
Blaze: Here, have a videogame. *Gives game to Colt*
Colt: Awesome! *Runs away with game*
Audience: *Laughing*
Cosmic Rainbow: Ты gave a six год old a rated M game?
Blaze: Have Ты ever tried giving a yo yo to a пони at the age of 67?
Audience: *Laughing*
Meanwhile at a retirement center.
Old Pony: *Tied up in yo yo* Oh fiddlesticks. I'll have to call Jimmy again. This is the 24th time I got stuck in this contraption.
Audience: *Laughing*
And now, it's time for fanmail from your Избранное six ponies, the mane 6!
Audience: *Cheering, whistling, and clapping*
Announcer: Just one thing we need to tell you. Twilight Sparkle did something bad, and Celestia has punished her, by giving her the voice of Ice Cube.
Audience: *Laughing*
Twilight: Man, it ain't funny! Da f*q does everypony have to laugh at me for?
Pinkie Pie: Come on Twilight, I think Ты sound great with your new voice.
Audience: *Laughing*
Applejack: Let's start with the fanmail, shall we?
Heartsong, and Annie start bringing them notes.
Fluttershy: *Takes letter* Here's one for me. Dear Fluttershy, when are Ты going to stop being a coward?
радуга Dash: When computers start growing arms, and legs.
Audience: *Laughing*
Fluttershy: *Very sad* I like myself just the way I am.
Rarity: I don't think you're a coward.
Twilight: Man, I just hope none of the letters I get are bad.
Rarity: Well I know none of my letters will be bad. *Opens envelope* Here's a letter from Hank, age 19. *Nervous* Dear Rarity, why are Ты a really big sex addict? Every picture I have seen of Ты is porn.
Audience: *Laughing*
Rarity: *Hiding under table*
Applejack: Man, this ain't Фан mail. It's hate mail.
Audience: *Laughing*
радуга Dash: What letter did Ты get?
Applejack: Let me check. *Reading letter* Dear Applejack, are all rednecks as stupid as you?
Audience: *Laughing*
радуга Dash: *Laughing*
Applejack: Well Ты wouldn't be laughing if Ты got a disrespectful letter like that.
радуга Dash: No one would dare to send me a hate letter. I'm радуга Dash!
A light was shining on her, and Ангелы started playing lyres.
Audience: *Laughing*
радуга Dash: *Gets letter* Dear радуга Dash, Ты are very arrogant. *Angry* Okay, if being loyal is arrogant, than saying good morning is a death threat.
Audience: *Laughing*
Pinkie Pie: Oooh, ooh. I want a letter!
Annie: *Gives Pinkie Pie a letter*
Applejack: I'd be surprised if someone wrote something nice to her.
Pinkie Pie: *Reading letter* Dear Pinkie Pie, do Ты take drugs during any of your parties? No, because drugs are bad, and they're for stupid ponies like Applejack.
Audience: *Laughing, clapping, and cheering*
Applejack: *Sarcastic* Thanks Pinkie Pie. I Любовь Ты too.
Twilight: Man, I didn't get any letters!
Heartsong: *Gives Twilight a letter*
Twilight: *Reading letter* This letter is from the капот, худ of Compton, L.A. Dear Twilight Sparkle, how does it feel to be one of us now?
Audience: *Laughing*
Twilight: Man, I ain't one of you. I ain't no N word. Am I allowed to say the actual word?
Audience: *Laughing*
Annie: Ты know what? I think this has been going bad enough for everypony.
Heartsong: Really? The audience seems to like it.
Audience: *Laughing*
Heartsong: And I like how this is going too.
Audience: *Laughing*
Annie: Well too bad. That's all the time we got for fanmail. Coming up next, it's Celebrity Jeopardy.
Audience: *Clapping*
The cast for this episode of Celebrity Jeopardy is
Saten Twist - Alex Trebek (He wears a white wig, and his cutie mark has been changed to a game Показать wheel.)
Sean the hedgehog as himself (He's a famous war hero.)
Cosmic радуга as Scott Eastwood (The son of Clint Eastwood)
and Blaze as Tom Hanks
Audience: *Clapping*
Alex: Welcome back to Celebrity Jeopardy. Since the current месяц is October, most of our categories will be related to Halloween. With that said, let's take a look at the board. Tom Hanks is in third place with negative 84,000 dollars.
Audience: *Laughing*
Tom: I've been in Показать business for a long time Alex, and frankly, I don't like the wages you're paying me.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: Too bad. Sean the hedgehog is in first place with negative 8,000 dollars.
Audience: *Clapping*
Sean: Why do Ты keep giving everypony negative amounts of money Trebek? Did Ты get robbed by a three год old?
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: *Ignores Sean* Moving on. Scott Eastwood is in секунда place with negative sixteen thousand dollars.
Audience: *Clapping*
Scott: Hi dad. If you're watching this, I'm going to let everypony know about how awesome Ты are, and how successful Ты are in acting.
Audience: *Laughing*
Scott: I'm going to be just like him.
Alex: Fantastic. Now it's time for Double Jeopardy. The categories are..
Potent Potables
The Vowels, and numbers before ten
Holidays that end in alloween
Decorations
What's that smell
Frankenstein
And finally, pumpkins
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: Starting off will be Tom Hanks since he's in last place.
Tom: I'm losing? I gotta run faster!!
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: It's not a race.... Scott, why don't Ты pick a category?
Scott: Sure thing Mr. Trebek. I'll take Фильмы that my dad starred in for seven hundred.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: That's not a category.
Scott: Then, how about Фильмы that I starred in for seven hundred?
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: How about The vowels, and numbers before ten for 200? The answer is, "This number is between 7, and 9, and also comes before 10"
Audience: *Laughing*
Sean: *Rings in*
Alex: Mr. The Hedgehog?
Sean: A pair of breasts!
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: That wasn't neccesary.
Sean: Well that's what it looks like Trebek. Ты should know by staring at your brother's.
Audience: *Laughing*
Scott: *Rings in*
Alex: Mr. Eastwood?
Scott: My dad starred in this really great movie called The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly, and he killed a bunch of bad guys in the wildwest.
He ran out of time.
Alex: Time is up, fortunately. The answer was 8. That number is between 7, and 9 while being before 10.
Sean: Turn 8 sideways, and it looks like a pair of breasts.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: Yes, I know. Scott, why don't Ты choose a category for us.
Scott: With pleasure. Let's try Фильмы that my dad starred in for a thousand.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: It seems like your dad is the only thing Ты think about.
Scott: Not really. Mostly, I think about the Фильмы he starred in.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: Ты know what? Let's just go with Decorations for 400. Now the answer is, "These decorations can be put on a tree."
Sean: *Rings in*
Alex: Yes Sean?
Sean: Your grand daughter's clothing.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: What?
Sean: Before I slept with her on Рождество last year, she took all her clothing off, and put it on the tree.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: Someone else, before I decide to end this?
Sean: End what? This is going great so far!
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: That's it. Final Jeopardy. The category for Ты three is your Избранное color.
The final jeopardy Музыка starts to play.
Alex: There are a lot of colors, so there's no way Ты should get this wrong.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: Think of any color, and write it down. It could be red, yellow, green, или blue. или to make things easier for you, the Цвета of the rainbow.
Audience: *Laughing*
The timer rang.
Alex: Okay, let's see what Ты three wrote down. *Goes to Tom's board* Okay Tom, *Sees his podium is broken* The screen on your podium... What happened to it?
Audience: *Laughing*
Tom: Well I was Письмо down my Избранное color, and all of a sudden it broke. Ты really need better equipment.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: Moving on. *Goes to Scott's board* Mr. Eastwood wrote down. *Looks at his board* Where Eagles Dare? What's that supposed to mean?
Audience: *Laughing*
Scott: It was a movie my dad starred in in 1968.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: Maybe your relationship with him is not a good one.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: And... *Goes to Sean's board* Our only contestant that's not a пони wrote down *Looks at his board* Blue. He wrote down his Избранное color, now I just hope he doesn't say anything bad about me like last time.
Audience: *Laughing*
Sean: I was only speaking the truth.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: Whatever. Ты wagered... Me. Blue me?
Audience: *Laughing*
Sean: *Laughing* No thank you, that's what a mare is for.
Alex: I don't get it.
Sean: Oh yes Ты do!
Alex: And that's all the time we have for Celebrity Jeopardy. Hopefully, for a long long time.
Audience: *Clapping*
In the Далее part of this episode, Sophie Shimmer stars as a пони that works in a body shop.
Bodyshop Ponies
Starring Sophie Shimmer as Wheel Bearing
Heartsong as Dainelle DeVito
Snow Wonder as Cutlass Supreme
Tom Foolery as Gary
Mortomis as Mr. Beddler
Pleiades as оливковый, оливковое
Master Sword as Tim
and Annie as Edwina
The bodyshop is a place where ponies repair cars. It's hard work, but everypony enjoys it. I can think of something else that's hard for others to enjoy.
Audience: *Laughing*
Mr. Beddler: Alright everypony, we're expecting two cars to come in today. One is an '03 Pearla, and the other is a much newer SUV.
Wheel Bearing: Ты don't know what type of SUV it is?
Mr. Beddler: No. I don't even know what SUV stands for.
Audience: *Laughing*
Gary: I'm sure nopony knows.
Audience: *Laughing*
Cutlass Supreme: Which ponies do Ты want on which car?
Mr. Beddler: I was just getting to that Cutlass. You, Danielle, and Wheel Bearing will work on the Chevy Pearla. The rest of Ты work on the SUV.
Tim: How are we supposed to work on something if Ты don't know what it is?
Audience: *Laughing*
Mr. Beddler: I know what it is, I just don't know what it stands for.
Tim: Aw, Mr. Beddler. You're being a bad influence to me.
Audience: *Laughing*
Mr. Beddler: Well get changed into your uniforms. Those cars will be here any minute.
And so, they did. The cars soon arrived, but the car doors to the гараж were closed.
Car Owner: *Honks horn*
Mr. Beddler: What was that?
Tim: I don't know, but I don't care. I just want those cars to Показать up.
Audience: *Laughing*
Car Owner: *Honking horn*
Mr. Beddler: *Opens car door* Stop doing that. Someponies are waiting for two cars to arrive.
Audience: *Laughing*
Car Owner: This is one of them.
Mr. Beddler: Then bring her in.
Car Owner: This ain't a her. I named it Karl.
Mr. Beddler: Ты named a car Karl?
Audience: *Laughing*
Car Owner: That's what it is. Ты just gotta put an L at the end.
Audience: *Laughing*
The car owner brought his car in, and the SUV went in shortly after.
SUV Owner: How much would it cost to repaint this thing?
Mr. Beddler: What thing?
Audience: *Laughing*
SUV Owner: My car.
Mr. Beddler: Oh, this ain't a car. It's an SUV.
Audience: *Laughing*
SUV Owner: *Angry* All I want to know is how much it would cost to repaint my car.
Mr. Beddler: Repainting your SUV would cost about four hundred dollars.
SUV Owner: I could Остаться в живых that much money playing Jeopardy.
Audience: *Laughing*
Mr. Beddler: What color do Ты want your SUV?
SUV Owner: Same color.
Olive: Did somepony say they wanted to repaint their car?
SUV Owner: Yes?
Olive: *Throws оранжевый paint onto the SUV, and smiles* Problem solved.
Audience: *Laughing*
Olive: I would have gone for оливковый, оливковое Green, since my name is Olive.
Audience: *Laughing*
SUV Owner: Well I would have gone somewhere else if I knew this bodyshop was run by idiots! *Gets back in his car, and drives away*
Mr. Beddler: *Very angry* you're fired...
Olive: Oh well. Ты can't win them all.
Mr. Beddler: What's that supposed to mean?
Olive: I didn't win the chance of fixing that SUV. Well, at least I won't have to have somepony as a boss that doesn't know what an SUV is.
Audience: *Laughing*
Mr. Beddler: *He gets so angry that his face turns red*
Audience: *Laughing*
It's time for the Ponyville news. With your news anchors, Double Scoop as Nate Witherspoon, and Heartsong as Hillary Tosh.
Audience: *Clapping*
Nate: Thank Ты everypony. Thank you. Now quiet on the set!
Audience: *Laughing*
Hillary: Being a new news company, do expect some foul ups in tonight's broadcast.
Audience: *Laughing*
Nate: Let's begin with the country of Japan. They had a вулкан erupt last week, which injured forty ponies, and killed seven others.
Hillary: It seems like Япония has been having a lot of bad things happening to them. The volcano, and that tsunami a few years ago, and then there was the bombing of Hiroshima, and Nagasaki.
Nate: Yeah, well they deserved it.
Audience: *Laughing*
Hillary: Let's Переместить on to the weather.
Nate: Right. Our forecast for this week includes, a nice sunny день for Wednesday, and Thursday. Then, we get a partly cloudy день on Friday, followed by a nonstop thunderstorm on Saturday.
Hillary: It has to stop at sometime.
Nate: Maybe it will, when ponies stop getting scared over it.
Audience: *Laughing*
Nate: On Sunday, we will have another partly cloudy day, but on Monday, and Tuesday, the shit hits the Фан when it begins to snow.
Audience: *Laughing*
Hillary: How did Ты figure that out?
Nate: Farmer's almanac. Never lies.
Audience: *Laughing*
Hillary: And finally, before we Переместить onto commercials, we have a special visitor.
Nate: Coming all the way from the middle east, it's Major General Shayne Diesel.
Blaze is Shayne Diesel.
Audience: *Clapping, and cheering*
Shayne: Thanks for having me here. Any place is better than the Middle East.
Audience: *Laughing*
Nate: That's what we wanted to talk to Ты about.
Hillary: How are your soldiers doing over there?
Shayne: Not too bad, except for the fact that they're dealing with a new terrorist group called ISIS.
Audience: *Booing* F*ck ISIS!!
Shayne: Don't worry everypony, we will stop them! After all, we are the United States of Equestria!
Nate: *Starts to think that Shayne is being annoying, and becomes sarcastic* Really? I thought this was Japan.
Shayne: Nah, Ты don't wanna be there. They had a вулкан erupt.
Audience: *Laughing*
Shayne: And I thought Hawaii had вулкан problems!
Audience: *Laughing*
Hillary: Let's get back on the topic of ISIS.
Shayne: Ah yes, the disgrace to everypony that believes in freedom, and democracy. Freedom is what makes this world spin around!
A song starts to play in the background: link
Shayne: I'm talking about ponies that have a long unnecessary speech about Equestria, and how it's an awesome country while a foreign song plays in the background!
Audience: *Laughing*
Shayne: And while they're giving that long unnecessary speech about Equestria, and how it's an awesome country while a foreign song plays in the background, Ты see the Equestrian Flag, with stars, and stripes, waving in the wind, and reminding Ты that we are a powerful country!
Then the flag showed up behind Shayne in the background.
Audience: *Laughing*
Shayne: We are a reminder to ISIS, that we have the toughest army in the world, and we will kill them all!! *Sings along to the song* This is the U.S.E, and we will kill you!
Audience: *Laughing*
Shayne: Ты tried to attack us, but your attack failed! And now Ты shall pay us the price, for Ты attempting to attack our home!
Nate: *Confused*
Shayne: This is the U.S.E, and we will kill you!
Hillary: I think he finally Остаться в живых his mind.
Nate: Me too.
Audience: *Laughing*
Shayne: *Continues Пение his song*
Nate, and Hillary snuck out of the studio. Shayne didn't notice, for he was too busy Пение his song.
Audience: *Laughing*
And that's all the time we have for the news. Stop the song!!
Master Sword: Well, that's all the time we have for our Показать today. Thank Ты for watching.
Tom: Master Sword, this is an article. How do Ты watch an article?
Audience: *Laughing*
Master Sword: I don't know, but the announcer always says, "On The Block was filmed in front of a live audience."
Audience: *Laughing*
Tom: I see what Ты mean. Well, thank Ты for viewing this. How about that?
The End.
STH/AM6663 Entertainment. Copyright 2014
Audience: *Cheering*
Master Sword & Tom: *Standing in front of a house*
Master Sword: Эй, everypony. Great to see Ты again.
Tom: Shut the f**k up.
Audience: *Laughing*
Master Sword: Tom, what was that for?
Tom: We need to forget about the jokes, and get things moving so the director won't get angry at us.
Master Sword: But we can't forget about jokes! This is a comedy show!
Audience: *Laughing*
Tom: I never сказал(-а) we weren't going to do jokes.
Master Sword: Yes Ты did.
Tom: No I didn't.
Master Sword: Well I'm pretty sure Ты did.
Tom: Yeah, well that's your opinion.
Audience: *Laughing*
Tom: Today's crossover parody, M*A*S*H Ponies On The Rails
Master Sword: And this is a crossover of.. Do we even have to say it? It's got both of the titles from the shows right there for you!
Audience: *Laughing*
For this crossover parody, the Season 3 Ponies On The Rails cast will be theirselves, but playing as the M*A*S*H ponies will be....
Tom Foolery as Captain Hawkeye Pierce
Saten Twist as Sargent Klinger
Double Scoop as Captain B.J Honnecut
Master Sword as Major Charles Emerson Winchester
Aina as Major Houllihan
and Mortomis as Colonel Potter
North Korea, 1953
One день at the 4077th M*A*S*H unit, Captain Hawkeye was in the swamp with B.J.
Hawkeye: Oh, Beej. We've got too many wounded coming in here.
Honnecut: Beej. If Ты say that backwards, it's Jeeb.
Hawkeye: That's close enough to jeep.
Audience: *Laughing*
Winchester: *Walks in* What do Ты two think you're doing?
Hawkeye: Nothing.
Honnecut: I never knew the army would punish somepony for doing nothing.
Audience: *Laughing*
Winchester: Your humor fails to amuse me, but I will enjoy seeing Ты two get sent to the klink. One еще foul up, and you'll both be in the stockade for a long time.
Hawkeye: Klink? Stockade?
Honnecut: Make up your mind.
Audience: *Laughing*
Meanwhile, Colonel Potter was in his room talking on a telephone.
Colonel Potter: We need a new way to get patients from here back to their unit..... What's that?...... A Railway Line?..... Oh, it was just a joke..... Well, as soon as Ты find another way, let me know.... Adios.
Hawkeye: *Walks in Potter's room* Hello Colonel.
Colonel Potter: Don't any of Ты knock?
Hawkeye: What for? There's a war going on.
Audience: *Laughing*
Hawkeye: What's up?
Colonel Potter: Somepony just told me the dumbest joke. He thought it was funny to tell me that we'd make a Railway to take ponies from here to their unit. It just wastes too much time.
Hawkeye: *Getting an idea* Maybe it's not good as a joke, but it's good for another thing. *Leaves office*
Colonel Potter: What's that supposed to mean?
Meanwhile, in Cheyenne Wyoming, also in the год 1953
Audience: *Laughing*
Pete: *Looking at telegram from Korea* I don't believe this!
Percy: *Walks into office* Sir? Everything okay?
Pete: No! We need to expand our line all the way to Korea!
Percy: Ты don't wanna go there. There's a war going on. *Leaves*
Audience: *Laughing*
Pete: Leave it to the army to screw things up.
Audience: *Laughing*
So the line was built all the way across the Pacific Ocean from San Franciscolt to Seoul. Then, it went all around the Equestrian Army's territory going to many M*A*S*H units, and army bases.
Major Houllihan: What is the meaning of all this?
Sargent Klinger: It's a Railway line.
A train was going across, but all of a sudden the bridge blew up.
Hawkeye: What happened?
Colonel Potter: That was one of ours!
Honnecut: What were they thinking?
Colonel Potter: They had no idea about this. Like I said, the army always screw things up.
Hawkeye: I have a feeling somepony сказал(-а) that before you.
Audience: *Laughing*
The End
On the Далее part of this episode, Tom Foolery, and Master Sword introduce us to еще ponies. Again.
They are...
Cosmic радуга from Emo_Brony47
Heartsong from Scougesgirl
Annie from Ameliarose2002
Blaze from Liam_A_Ninja
Sophie Shimmer from Aquagirl445
Snow Wonder from Dragonaura15
Theme Song: link
Master Sword: Come on Tom, let's go meet the others.
Tom: Right behind you.
Double Scoop: *Standing on улица, уличный corner*
Aina: *Runs out of her house*
Sunny: Hey, wait for me. *Flying in the middle of the street*
Saten Twist: *Polishing his chain saw, but stops to go meet the others*
Pleiades: *Arrives at corner*
Mortomis: *Standing Далее to Double Scoop*
Tom: еще ponies!!
Snow Wonder: *Arrives in a brand new Corvette*
Cosmic Rainbow: *Flies from the clouds*
Heartsong: *Climbs out of a manhole*
Annie: *Arrives on a bicycle*
Blaze: *Flies out of a house window, and lands Далее to Tom*
Sophie Shimmer: *Gets off of a slow moving bus*
All: We live together on the block!
Audience: *Clapping*
Announcer: Okay, stop the song! We need to keep this thing rolling.
Audience: *Laughing*
Episode 2: еще Introductions
Announcer: On The Block was filmed in front of a live audience.
Audience: *Laughing*
Announcer: Need I say more?
Audience: *Laughing*
Double Scoop: *Making a Jack-O lantern with an ice cream cone*
Snow Wonder: *Looking at Jack-O lantern* That looks really beautiful.
Double Scoop: Thanks. Have Ты ever wondered what the O stands for in Jack-O lantern?
Snow Wonder: No. What?
Double Scoop: Off.
Audience: *Laughing, and clapping*
Snow Wonder: Okay. *Walks away*
Meanwhile at Blaze's house, he was playing Call Of Duty: Advanced Warfare with Cosmic Rainbow.
Cosmic Rainbow: This game wasn't supposed to come out until November. How did Ты get it?
Blaze: With a little persuasion.
Cosmic Rainbow: What kind of persuasion?
Blaze: The kind that risks lives.
Audience: *Laughing*
Cosmic Rainbow: *Gets shot* Wait, what the hell? I shot that guy seven times in the head, and he never died.
Blaze: That's ridiculous. Ты must have missed.
Cosmic Rainbow: How does one miss the head of a пони when shooting a gun?
Audience: *Laughing*
Blaze: I'm not even gonna bother arguing with Ты *His character falls through the ground* Wait, what the--
Cosmic Rainbow: Be prepared for the ultimate rage.
Blaze: FFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUU
He was shouting so loud that it was heard everywhere. It was heard in Manehattan, on the train to Canterlot, and it was even heard in China.
Chinese Pony: Sounds rike somepony is angry.
Chinese пони 2: Jawohr.
Chinese Pony: Stop trying to speak German.
Audience: *Laughing*
Back at Blaze's house...
Blaze: *Takes game out of PS4, and puts it back in case* This is stupid.
Cosmic Rainbow: What are Ты going to do?
Blaze: I am going to-
The doorbell rang.
Blaze: Hmm. *Brings game to the front door, and opens the door*
Colt: *Dressed up as a tree* Trick или treat.
Blaze: Here, have a videogame. *Gives game to Colt*
Colt: Awesome! *Runs away with game*
Audience: *Laughing*
Cosmic Rainbow: Ты gave a six год old a rated M game?
Blaze: Have Ты ever tried giving a yo yo to a пони at the age of 67?
Audience: *Laughing*
Meanwhile at a retirement center.
Old Pony: *Tied up in yo yo* Oh fiddlesticks. I'll have to call Jimmy again. This is the 24th time I got stuck in this contraption.
Audience: *Laughing*
And now, it's time for fanmail from your Избранное six ponies, the mane 6!
Audience: *Cheering, whistling, and clapping*
Announcer: Just one thing we need to tell you. Twilight Sparkle did something bad, and Celestia has punished her, by giving her the voice of Ice Cube.
Audience: *Laughing*
Twilight: Man, it ain't funny! Da f*q does everypony have to laugh at me for?
Pinkie Pie: Come on Twilight, I think Ты sound great with your new voice.
Audience: *Laughing*
Applejack: Let's start with the fanmail, shall we?
Heartsong, and Annie start bringing them notes.
Fluttershy: *Takes letter* Here's one for me. Dear Fluttershy, when are Ты going to stop being a coward?
радуга Dash: When computers start growing arms, and legs.
Audience: *Laughing*
Fluttershy: *Very sad* I like myself just the way I am.
Rarity: I don't think you're a coward.
Twilight: Man, I just hope none of the letters I get are bad.
Rarity: Well I know none of my letters will be bad. *Opens envelope* Here's a letter from Hank, age 19. *Nervous* Dear Rarity, why are Ты a really big sex addict? Every picture I have seen of Ты is porn.
Audience: *Laughing*
Rarity: *Hiding under table*
Applejack: Man, this ain't Фан mail. It's hate mail.
Audience: *Laughing*
радуга Dash: What letter did Ты get?
Applejack: Let me check. *Reading letter* Dear Applejack, are all rednecks as stupid as you?
Audience: *Laughing*
радуга Dash: *Laughing*
Applejack: Well Ты wouldn't be laughing if Ты got a disrespectful letter like that.
радуга Dash: No one would dare to send me a hate letter. I'm радуга Dash!
A light was shining on her, and Ангелы started playing lyres.
Audience: *Laughing*
радуга Dash: *Gets letter* Dear радуга Dash, Ты are very arrogant. *Angry* Okay, if being loyal is arrogant, than saying good morning is a death threat.
Audience: *Laughing*
Pinkie Pie: Oooh, ooh. I want a letter!
Annie: *Gives Pinkie Pie a letter*
Applejack: I'd be surprised if someone wrote something nice to her.
Pinkie Pie: *Reading letter* Dear Pinkie Pie, do Ты take drugs during any of your parties? No, because drugs are bad, and they're for stupid ponies like Applejack.
Audience: *Laughing, clapping, and cheering*
Applejack: *Sarcastic* Thanks Pinkie Pie. I Любовь Ты too.
Twilight: Man, I didn't get any letters!
Heartsong: *Gives Twilight a letter*
Twilight: *Reading letter* This letter is from the капот, худ of Compton, L.A. Dear Twilight Sparkle, how does it feel to be one of us now?
Audience: *Laughing*
Twilight: Man, I ain't one of you. I ain't no N word. Am I allowed to say the actual word?
Audience: *Laughing*
Annie: Ты know what? I think this has been going bad enough for everypony.
Heartsong: Really? The audience seems to like it.
Audience: *Laughing*
Heartsong: And I like how this is going too.
Audience: *Laughing*
Annie: Well too bad. That's all the time we got for fanmail. Coming up next, it's Celebrity Jeopardy.
Audience: *Clapping*
The cast for this episode of Celebrity Jeopardy is
Saten Twist - Alex Trebek (He wears a white wig, and his cutie mark has been changed to a game Показать wheel.)
Sean the hedgehog as himself (He's a famous war hero.)
Cosmic радуга as Scott Eastwood (The son of Clint Eastwood)
and Blaze as Tom Hanks
Audience: *Clapping*
Alex: Welcome back to Celebrity Jeopardy. Since the current месяц is October, most of our categories will be related to Halloween. With that said, let's take a look at the board. Tom Hanks is in third place with negative 84,000 dollars.
Audience: *Laughing*
Tom: I've been in Показать business for a long time Alex, and frankly, I don't like the wages you're paying me.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: Too bad. Sean the hedgehog is in first place with negative 8,000 dollars.
Audience: *Clapping*
Sean: Why do Ты keep giving everypony negative amounts of money Trebek? Did Ты get robbed by a three год old?
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: *Ignores Sean* Moving on. Scott Eastwood is in секунда place with negative sixteen thousand dollars.
Audience: *Clapping*
Scott: Hi dad. If you're watching this, I'm going to let everypony know about how awesome Ты are, and how successful Ты are in acting.
Audience: *Laughing*
Scott: I'm going to be just like him.
Alex: Fantastic. Now it's time for Double Jeopardy. The categories are..
Potent Potables
The Vowels, and numbers before ten
Holidays that end in alloween
Decorations
What's that smell
Frankenstein
And finally, pumpkins
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: Starting off will be Tom Hanks since he's in last place.
Tom: I'm losing? I gotta run faster!!
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: It's not a race.... Scott, why don't Ты pick a category?
Scott: Sure thing Mr. Trebek. I'll take Фильмы that my dad starred in for seven hundred.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: That's not a category.
Scott: Then, how about Фильмы that I starred in for seven hundred?
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: How about The vowels, and numbers before ten for 200? The answer is, "This number is between 7, and 9, and also comes before 10"
Audience: *Laughing*
Sean: *Rings in*
Alex: Mr. The Hedgehog?
Sean: A pair of breasts!
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: That wasn't neccesary.
Sean: Well that's what it looks like Trebek. Ты should know by staring at your brother's.
Audience: *Laughing*
Scott: *Rings in*
Alex: Mr. Eastwood?
Scott: My dad starred in this really great movie called The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly, and he killed a bunch of bad guys in the wildwest.
He ran out of time.
Alex: Time is up, fortunately. The answer was 8. That number is between 7, and 9 while being before 10.
Sean: Turn 8 sideways, and it looks like a pair of breasts.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: Yes, I know. Scott, why don't Ты choose a category for us.
Scott: With pleasure. Let's try Фильмы that my dad starred in for a thousand.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: It seems like your dad is the only thing Ты think about.
Scott: Not really. Mostly, I think about the Фильмы he starred in.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: Ты know what? Let's just go with Decorations for 400. Now the answer is, "These decorations can be put on a tree."
Sean: *Rings in*
Alex: Yes Sean?
Sean: Your grand daughter's clothing.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: What?
Sean: Before I slept with her on Рождество last year, she took all her clothing off, and put it on the tree.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: Someone else, before I decide to end this?
Sean: End what? This is going great so far!
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: That's it. Final Jeopardy. The category for Ты three is your Избранное color.
The final jeopardy Музыка starts to play.
Alex: There are a lot of colors, so there's no way Ты should get this wrong.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: Think of any color, and write it down. It could be red, yellow, green, или blue. или to make things easier for you, the Цвета of the rainbow.
Audience: *Laughing*
The timer rang.
Alex: Okay, let's see what Ты three wrote down. *Goes to Tom's board* Okay Tom, *Sees his podium is broken* The screen on your podium... What happened to it?
Audience: *Laughing*
Tom: Well I was Письмо down my Избранное color, and all of a sudden it broke. Ты really need better equipment.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: Moving on. *Goes to Scott's board* Mr. Eastwood wrote down. *Looks at his board* Where Eagles Dare? What's that supposed to mean?
Audience: *Laughing*
Scott: It was a movie my dad starred in in 1968.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: Maybe your relationship with him is not a good one.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: And... *Goes to Sean's board* Our only contestant that's not a пони wrote down *Looks at his board* Blue. He wrote down his Избранное color, now I just hope he doesn't say anything bad about me like last time.
Audience: *Laughing*
Sean: I was only speaking the truth.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: Whatever. Ты wagered... Me. Blue me?
Audience: *Laughing*
Sean: *Laughing* No thank you, that's what a mare is for.
Alex: I don't get it.
Sean: Oh yes Ты do!
Alex: And that's all the time we have for Celebrity Jeopardy. Hopefully, for a long long time.
Audience: *Clapping*
In the Далее part of this episode, Sophie Shimmer stars as a пони that works in a body shop.
Bodyshop Ponies
Starring Sophie Shimmer as Wheel Bearing
Heartsong as Dainelle DeVito
Snow Wonder as Cutlass Supreme
Tom Foolery as Gary
Mortomis as Mr. Beddler
Pleiades as оливковый, оливковое
Master Sword as Tim
and Annie as Edwina
The bodyshop is a place where ponies repair cars. It's hard work, but everypony enjoys it. I can think of something else that's hard for others to enjoy.
Audience: *Laughing*
Mr. Beddler: Alright everypony, we're expecting two cars to come in today. One is an '03 Pearla, and the other is a much newer SUV.
Wheel Bearing: Ты don't know what type of SUV it is?
Mr. Beddler: No. I don't even know what SUV stands for.
Audience: *Laughing*
Gary: I'm sure nopony knows.
Audience: *Laughing*
Cutlass Supreme: Which ponies do Ты want on which car?
Mr. Beddler: I was just getting to that Cutlass. You, Danielle, and Wheel Bearing will work on the Chevy Pearla. The rest of Ты work on the SUV.
Tim: How are we supposed to work on something if Ты don't know what it is?
Audience: *Laughing*
Mr. Beddler: I know what it is, I just don't know what it stands for.
Tim: Aw, Mr. Beddler. You're being a bad influence to me.
Audience: *Laughing*
Mr. Beddler: Well get changed into your uniforms. Those cars will be here any minute.
And so, they did. The cars soon arrived, but the car doors to the гараж were closed.
Car Owner: *Honks horn*
Mr. Beddler: What was that?
Tim: I don't know, but I don't care. I just want those cars to Показать up.
Audience: *Laughing*
Car Owner: *Honking horn*
Mr. Beddler: *Opens car door* Stop doing that. Someponies are waiting for two cars to arrive.
Audience: *Laughing*
Car Owner: This is one of them.
Mr. Beddler: Then bring her in.
Car Owner: This ain't a her. I named it Karl.
Mr. Beddler: Ты named a car Karl?
Audience: *Laughing*
Car Owner: That's what it is. Ты just gotta put an L at the end.
Audience: *Laughing*
The car owner brought his car in, and the SUV went in shortly after.
SUV Owner: How much would it cost to repaint this thing?
Mr. Beddler: What thing?
Audience: *Laughing*
SUV Owner: My car.
Mr. Beddler: Oh, this ain't a car. It's an SUV.
Audience: *Laughing*
SUV Owner: *Angry* All I want to know is how much it would cost to repaint my car.
Mr. Beddler: Repainting your SUV would cost about four hundred dollars.
SUV Owner: I could Остаться в живых that much money playing Jeopardy.
Audience: *Laughing*
Mr. Beddler: What color do Ты want your SUV?
SUV Owner: Same color.
Olive: Did somepony say they wanted to repaint their car?
SUV Owner: Yes?
Olive: *Throws оранжевый paint onto the SUV, and smiles* Problem solved.
Audience: *Laughing*
Olive: I would have gone for оливковый, оливковое Green, since my name is Olive.
Audience: *Laughing*
SUV Owner: Well I would have gone somewhere else if I knew this bodyshop was run by idiots! *Gets back in his car, and drives away*
Mr. Beddler: *Very angry* you're fired...
Olive: Oh well. Ты can't win them all.
Mr. Beddler: What's that supposed to mean?
Olive: I didn't win the chance of fixing that SUV. Well, at least I won't have to have somepony as a boss that doesn't know what an SUV is.
Audience: *Laughing*
Mr. Beddler: *He gets so angry that his face turns red*
Audience: *Laughing*
It's time for the Ponyville news. With your news anchors, Double Scoop as Nate Witherspoon, and Heartsong as Hillary Tosh.
Audience: *Clapping*
Nate: Thank Ты everypony. Thank you. Now quiet on the set!
Audience: *Laughing*
Hillary: Being a new news company, do expect some foul ups in tonight's broadcast.
Audience: *Laughing*
Nate: Let's begin with the country of Japan. They had a вулкан erupt last week, which injured forty ponies, and killed seven others.
Hillary: It seems like Япония has been having a lot of bad things happening to them. The volcano, and that tsunami a few years ago, and then there was the bombing of Hiroshima, and Nagasaki.
Nate: Yeah, well they deserved it.
Audience: *Laughing*
Hillary: Let's Переместить on to the weather.
Nate: Right. Our forecast for this week includes, a nice sunny день for Wednesday, and Thursday. Then, we get a partly cloudy день on Friday, followed by a nonstop thunderstorm on Saturday.
Hillary: It has to stop at sometime.
Nate: Maybe it will, when ponies stop getting scared over it.
Audience: *Laughing*
Nate: On Sunday, we will have another partly cloudy day, but on Monday, and Tuesday, the shit hits the Фан when it begins to snow.
Audience: *Laughing*
Hillary: How did Ты figure that out?
Nate: Farmer's almanac. Never lies.
Audience: *Laughing*
Hillary: And finally, before we Переместить onto commercials, we have a special visitor.
Nate: Coming all the way from the middle east, it's Major General Shayne Diesel.
Blaze is Shayne Diesel.
Audience: *Clapping, and cheering*
Shayne: Thanks for having me here. Any place is better than the Middle East.
Audience: *Laughing*
Nate: That's what we wanted to talk to Ты about.
Hillary: How are your soldiers doing over there?
Shayne: Not too bad, except for the fact that they're dealing with a new terrorist group called ISIS.
Audience: *Booing* F*ck ISIS!!
Shayne: Don't worry everypony, we will stop them! After all, we are the United States of Equestria!
Nate: *Starts to think that Shayne is being annoying, and becomes sarcastic* Really? I thought this was Japan.
Shayne: Nah, Ты don't wanna be there. They had a вулкан erupt.
Audience: *Laughing*
Shayne: And I thought Hawaii had вулкан problems!
Audience: *Laughing*
Hillary: Let's get back on the topic of ISIS.
Shayne: Ah yes, the disgrace to everypony that believes in freedom, and democracy. Freedom is what makes this world spin around!
A song starts to play in the background: link
Shayne: I'm talking about ponies that have a long unnecessary speech about Equestria, and how it's an awesome country while a foreign song plays in the background!
Audience: *Laughing*
Shayne: And while they're giving that long unnecessary speech about Equestria, and how it's an awesome country while a foreign song plays in the background, Ты see the Equestrian Flag, with stars, and stripes, waving in the wind, and reminding Ты that we are a powerful country!
Then the flag showed up behind Shayne in the background.
Audience: *Laughing*
Shayne: We are a reminder to ISIS, that we have the toughest army in the world, and we will kill them all!! *Sings along to the song* This is the U.S.E, and we will kill you!
Audience: *Laughing*
Shayne: Ты tried to attack us, but your attack failed! And now Ты shall pay us the price, for Ты attempting to attack our home!
Nate: *Confused*
Shayne: This is the U.S.E, and we will kill you!
Hillary: I think he finally Остаться в живых his mind.
Nate: Me too.
Audience: *Laughing*
Shayne: *Continues Пение his song*
Nate, and Hillary snuck out of the studio. Shayne didn't notice, for he was too busy Пение his song.
Audience: *Laughing*
And that's all the time we have for the news. Stop the song!!
Master Sword: Well, that's all the time we have for our Показать today. Thank Ты for watching.
Tom: Master Sword, this is an article. How do Ты watch an article?
Audience: *Laughing*
Master Sword: I don't know, but the announcer always says, "On The Block was filmed in front of a live audience."
Audience: *Laughing*
Tom: I see what Ты mean. Well, thank Ты for viewing this. How about that?
The End.
STH/AM6663 Entertainment. Copyright 2014
Robotnik: Snooping as usual I see.
Robotnik: Snooping as usual I see! *Talks faster* Snooping as usual *Slows down* I see!
Fillydelphia, 1992
Case крекер, взломщик is driving out of Fillydelphia with his marefriend, Sprocket.
Case Cracker: *Going over 90 miles an hour*
Sprocket: I still don't understand what's going on!
Case Cracker: I've been working for this пони named Michael, but he was just using me, and wants me dead!
Sprocket: *Looks behind her* Is that why there are two sedans following us?
Case Cracker: *Looks in the mirror* Shit, that's them. Get my Оружие from the перчатка, перчатки compartment.
Sprocket: *Grabs two Beretta...
Robotnik: Snooping as usual I see! Pingas!
SeanTheHedgehog & Izfankirby present
Grand Theft Ponies
San Franciscolt, December 1988
The fanfic begins with Gordon, and Case крекер, взломщик at Gordon's house. They are watching a football game. The Eagles are beating the Giants 21-10
Gordon: I always told Ты that the Giants sucked.
Case Cracker: Calm down, halftime just ended. They've had some bad luck is all.
Gordon: No kidding. They'll never win a game.
Suddenly, the phone rings.
Gordon: Ah good. Commercials, and a call. *picks up phone* Hello?
Jim: Эй, Gordon, it's Jim. Get Case...
Sick design, "okay" character
According to Cinema Snob this movie use to be called
"Rape and revenge"
Really gives away the ending, doesn't it?
This movie is banned in my own country.
And for good reason.
Any SANE person would be left with this reaction.
You know.. The same one from Cannibal Halocoast.. или the Twilight movies.
The film is noted for its controversial depiction of graphic violence, nudity, obscene language, and lengthy depictions of gang rape which take up 30 минуты of the film's runtime.
Yeah.. Who wants to spent 30 минуты watching some poor woman getting assaulted by hillbillies simply cause she has tits...
continue reading...
"Rape and revenge"
Really gives away the ending, doesn't it?
This movie is banned in my own country.
And for good reason.
Any SANE person would be left with this reaction.
You know.. The same one from Cannibal Halocoast.. или the Twilight movies.
The film is noted for its controversial depiction of graphic violence, nudity, obscene language, and lengthy depictions of gang rape which take up 30 минуты of the film's runtime.
Yeah.. Who wants to spent 30 минуты watching some poor woman getting assaulted by hillbillies simply cause she has tits...
