Крипипаста

*portal opens*

Masky: ok everyone! Let's go!

*meanwhile*

PL: It feels like this has been going on for days...

Purger: yea

PL: like almost a month...

*BOOM*

PL: WHAT THE HECK?

Zalgo: sorry, trying out a new grand entrance

PL: what is it?

Zalgo: I'm calling it off

PL: WHAT!?

Zalgo: I realized I'm sending people with no power или strength to fight people that have been trained by slenderman, which was trained by mother.

PL: so it's of?

Zalgo: yep

PL: bob, I'm sorry that I have to tell Ты this... Ты won't be able to use that gun-sword that Ты got for Christmas

Bob: aww

Porter: all this is just because Ты could not get along with Zalgo!

Slender: its not that!

Porter: then tell us what was the reason?

Slender: *sigh* as Ты most all of Ты know before the treaty broke, me and Skully went to silent холм, хилл for a meeting. during are stay Zalgos army came... they killed everyone...

Jeff: including Skully?

Slender: yes, I did not tell Ты due to Ты guys having some Друзья there...

LJ: shi* just got real!

Slender: we have to save them!

Masky: its to dangerous!

Lucius: screw dangerous! we're already on death row!

Slender: I'm going to save them! I don't care if its dangerous!

Lucius: me and LJ are going with him!

LJ: wai-

Lucius: Ты owe me! Ты have no Idea how many times I have answered the door!

LJ: ok... let me get my vodka!

Lucius: ok, who are you?

Clockwork: my name is Clockwork

Lucius: oh, your that girl that Ticci Toby says is cute

Clockwork: what? he сказал(-а) that about me?

Lucius: *pulls out DiPhone* Эй, Masky, Ты owe me 20 bucks

Maksy: FU-

Lucius: *hangs up* so... who do Ты work for? SCP? SOK?

Clockwork: Zalgo

Lucius: oh... umm... SLEEP GAS!

*BANG*

Clockwork: wai- *flop*

Lucius: ok... how the hell am I supposed to get her to the house?

Me: BY THE POWER OF PLOTHOLES!

Lucius: lets just say I have a car...

Me: fine...

Lucius: Ты know buddy, since your on death row I should tell Ты something... Ты better be grateful I'M killing you... Ты could have been killed by a tall faceless guy with a VERY bad temper. now that I've told Ты that, TO HEAVEN или HELL FUC*ER!

*Bang*

Lucius: heh heh... he got blood on my suit...

*on the way home*

Lucius: to heaven или hell... its cheesy but it is better than "you shouldn't have done that"

*Crash*

Lucius: who's there? if it's the cops I done
nuthin!

???: hello there...

Lucius: who are you?

???: the Вопрос is... who are you?

Lucius: says the girl that has a clock for an eye

Clockwork: says the guy that just murdered someone

Lucius: says the girl that somehow knows about it

Clockwork: says the guy that... umm

Lucius: my point exactly

Slender: where the hell are those two...

Lucius: back!

Johhny: *tied up* RELEASE ME!

LJ: Johnny!?

Jeff: Ты know this guy!?

LJ: ya... he was a member of the SOK...

Johnny: Ты WORK FOR ZALG-

Lucius: *slaps Johnny*

LJ: calm down! we don't work for Zalgo

Johnny: LIES!

Lucius: *slaps Johnny*

Johnny: STO-

Lucius: *slaps*

Johnny: HEY-

Lucius: *slaps*

Johnny: ok i'll stop

Lucius: *slaps*

Johnny: I сказал(-а) I WOULD STOP!

Lucius: oops... sorry...

Johnny: Ты better be!

Subject files: Lucius Vole

Subject 274 aka Lucius Vole was a volunteer to test the effects of serum 18 aka "Pasta Sauce", a experiment that would give a plant или a animal powers. The first time he was дана the serum he aged 1 год every 30 seconds, we were able to give the antidote before he died. He volunteered again with this time it being a success, it gave him the ability to teleport short distances and a vast knowledge of weaponry. He was held in a cell until a another subject went rouge and he was able to escape. After that he joined a mercenary group and named himself "Volter". He later left the group and completely went missing. His Главная was found a месяц after he went missing, And notebook describing a tall faceless man watching him was found in his room. Three years later some people started seeing him, one time with a woman with a clock for a eye. Other than that we have no leads to where he is at. We hope this info is useful to Ты John.

SCP

BEN: Im afraid of nothing

Lucius: your not afraid of RED killing Ты in your sleep?

BEN: no

RED: SOON

BEN: *meep*

*hides behind Lucius*

Lucius: wimp... *walks away*

BEN: wait don't leave me!

RED: NOW >:D

BEN: sh**

*ahhhhhh*

LJ: Ты hear that?

Lucius: nope *smokes*

LJ: I'm sure I-

Lucius: shut up and take this cigarette

BEN: Иисус H Christ since when have Ты been able to turn into a bird!

*crash*

BEN: oh my god my video games!

RED: what are Ты going to do about it?

BEN: RUN

RED: uh oh...

*BANG* *BONG* *CRASH*

LJ: what is happening?

Lucius: BEN getting over his fear...

Lucius : caaaaannnn!

LJ: : anybodyyyy!

Lucius : find meeee!

Slender : somebody to loveeeee!

Lucius: where the hell did you learn to sing?

Slender: like I said, I had a daughter...

Lucius: oh... so... where is this cRYPT guy?

Slender: his base is at Mount Hood in Oregon

Lucius: ._.

Slender: what?

Lucius: how the hell are we supposed to walk from Mane to Oregon

Slender: oh... huh... ummm... I never really thought of that...

Lucius: *sigh*

[the song was, Somebody To Love By Queen]

Zalgo: where the hell is ShadowLurker!? I need my anger pills!

SL: i'm home!

Zalgo; WHERE THE HELL HAVE Ты BEEN!?

SL: i'm sorry i'm late sir, but on the way I saw some killers that where not with Slender!

Zalgo: DOES IT LOOK LIKE I CARE!?

SL: sir, take your pills

Zalgo: *takes pills*

SL: feel better?

Zalgo: yes... what are these killer's names?

SL: Jacky and Itzy

Zalgo: go get them...

SL: yes sir *teleports*

Zalgo: *sighs*

*ring ring*

Zalgo: *pulls out DiPhone* yes?

Observer: we got BEN

RED: when do we get to kill him!

Observer: we are not killing him! Zalgo get over here before he starts to chew the rocks in this cave

Zalgo: i'll be right there

Slender: what the hell happened to my house!?

Me: sorry, we need the ratings man!

Slender: *sigh*

ToTheArk: i'm out! REGARDS!

Slender: what is happening Masky!?

Masky: everybody is taking sides!

Slender: observer...

Lucius: *carrying Jeff*

Slender: where is the Observer?

Lucius: he is in the dining hall!

Slender: Lucius, come with me!

Lucius: *drops Jeff*

Jeff: ow...

Slender: OBSERVER!

Observer: hello my friend

Slender: WHY ARE Ты DOING THIS!

Lucius: he thinks Ты are a absent faced jack*ss

Slender: ...

Observer: heh heh... shi*

Kage: なぜ テール-

Jack: please speak English Kage... We aren't in China anymore

Kage: I come from Japan

Jack: don't care!

Kage: *sigh* why are we doing this?

Jack: apparently V thinks having the goat eater back will be helpful...

Kage: we're geting him!?

Jack: V told us that during the meeting!

Kage: really?! I didn't hear him...

Jack: apparently Любовь makes Ты deaf to...

Kage: what?

Jack: I know Ты like that Japanese chick

Kage: what?! I do not!

Jack: oh come on! Ты were looking at her the entire time during the meeting!

Kage: Jack...

Jack: don't even try Kage, nothing Ты say can disprove me!

Kage: Chupacabra is behind you

Jack: ._.

Chupacabra: ... (Having British tonight!)