Twilight Facts

Dear Ms. Meyer,

Hi. I’m Tria. It’s nice to meet you. As Ты have probably guessed, I am Письмо to Ты concerning your series known as “The Twilight Saga.” If you’ll forgive me for being rude, I’d like to be blunt.

You fail.

Again, apologies for my rudeness. If you’ll allow me, I’m going to back up this assumption of your literary failure.

Let’s start with the plots, looking at each book individually, and then the Книги as a whole.
Twilight: Barely has a plot. The book is 300 или so pages of nothing happening besides mooning on about Edward and his eyes. Then Ты throw in three...

After Чтение the post "Bella as a heroine should be illegal" by bendaimmortal, it got me thinking. Obviously, no-one would consider Bella лебедь a heroine. If Ты do, Ты have got a really great deal of imagination, или a warped sense of the world. Because, and I'm sure most Twilight Фаны would agree, the girl didn't do anything at all. Save being overly dramatic and being the damsel in distress.

What about the Cullens then? What about Carlisle, Alice, Esme, Jasper, Rosalie and Emmett? What about He-Who-Sparkles-In-Broad-Daylight? Would they be considered heroes/heroines?

No.

I say that the Cullens...

Note: It’s important for me to communicate that I don’t know the Автор of Twilight или her family personally and I do not intend them any insult; this Статья is purely academic speculation inspired by a story which will remain a timeless work of art. It is the emotional accessibility of the work which makes commentary such as this possible. I may be projecting the whole thing… But that’s exactly why Twilight is so successful, because it invites us so welcomingly into the story!

Every Фан knows the story of the Twilight Saga.
There are many theories as to what makes the story such a pop-culture...

As a Фан of Twilight, I am part of a lot of related spots and discussions. However, as a Jacob & Bella fan, I often find myself disagreeing with most of the opinions of Twilight fans. In this Статья I'll go through some Комментарии I've read (slightly altered - don't want anyone out to get me!) and why I disagree with them. It's really just an informal rant. :P

'Edward & Bella have things in common unlike Jacob & Bella'

... What exactly? Let me guess: Classical music? Bella knows one song and suddenly they have something in common. They both read? When do we actually read of Bella reading...

Soo, I read Twilight in 2005 and seriously thought it was the best thing I'd ever read, and never thought I'd read anything better. How young and stupidly naive I was!

When I first bought it, it was treasured, as were New Moon, Eclipse, Breaking Dawn & all the money wasting merchandise I purchased to. But over the past 2 years, I've seen the Фан base grow and grow and GROW into something that is just pretty hectic and down right ridiculous.

I personally feel sorry for the cast, especially Robert Pattinson. Poor guy, can't even walk out his front door without being mobbed. There's such thing...

As someone who liked Вампиры before the fad started I'm one of the many people who dislikes the Twilight vampires. And thinks they should be reclassified as pixies. или that at least Zombie Bram Stoker should go have a serious talk with Stephenie Meyer about vampires... What do Ты mean Bram Stoker hasn't risen as a zombie in protest to the Twilight vampires? Why don't Ты go prove it? I'll wait...

...

...They didn't come back, so I'm assuming Zombie Bram ate their brains. We'll have to carry on without them. Anyway, I must admit Meyerpires are an interpretation of the vampire myth I just don't...

Disclaimer: The Название of the Статья may seem to be a bit strange, as most of my Статьи that I have Опубликовано on here are usually issues I have with the Twilight Saga, but I decided that myself as an anti, wanted to write about things I actually do like about the series. Guarantee, I actually do think Stephanie Meyer did create some characters in this series, and I just wanted to Список my вверх 8. This will be in no particular order.
* * *
Jasper Hale

If hypothetically, I were to meet the Cullen, I would think that Jasper would be the only one I probably be remotely afraid of in any sort of way. Or...

I’ve read many lists pointing out Twilight “Plot Holes”, but еще often than not, the lists aren’t very valid at all. Half of them are usually just complaints, pointing out something they don’t like about Twilight (Example:” Why would Вампиры go to high school?”, или “Why does Bella have so many friends?”). The rest are just factually incorrect, или can be logically theorized. These are usually followed by “Stephenie Meyer obviously ditched history class”, или “Hasn’t Stephenie ever heard of logic?”, или my personal favorite, “I would know, I had a lesson about it...

aagh! I accidentally deleted this when I was trying to Редактировать it. here it is again with a new title:

Bella could have gotten over Edward in New Moon and even had a real relationship with Jacob in time, but she wouldn't let herself. She felt that moving on would diminish или discredit her twu wuv with Edward and the pain she felt after he left. She wants to believe she can't get over it because she wants to believe that what they had was extraordinary, not like any other teenage romance. She wants to believe no one else in the world can relate to what she's going through. She was alone because she...

*Most I made up, a few I admit I saw on a video but I stated these ways in my own words so it is therefore not plagiarism*

1) Tell a fangirl that you'll send her a T-shirt with rare pictures of Edward Cullen on the front and back in two days, make sure she gets extremely excited. When the two days go by, send her a T-shirt with pics of Hagrid from Harry Potter instead.
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2) Tell the fangirls that all gay men sparkle.
3) Tell the fangirls that the Quielete Волколаки have major anger management issues if they turn into beasts when they got irritable...
4) Ask them for their Twilight merchandise,...