All in good fun, I have compiled a Список of why voting for the papa-amazondebs campaign for president is a mistake, and why voting for the Cinders-DrDevience campaign will be a decision Ты won't regret. This Список is meant to be amusing, and is not supposed to be offensive to anyone. It may have just a touch of slander, but hey, Ты think politicians REALLY run clean campaigns all the time? ;o)
1) First of all, how about that title? papa-debs? Even papa-amazondebs. It sounds an awful lot like "Papa Smurf" doesn't it, folks? The truth of the matter is that papa and debs are NOT as fanpopalicious (or fanpapalicious depending on which region of Fanpopdom Ты hail from) as they appear to be. The truth is, they are secret smurf supporters! And none of us want the smurfs to be in power, do we? Traitors!
2) How about the suspicious lack of capitalization to both of their names, eh? What does this say about the candidates' commitment to the job? How important is this to them, if they didn't think their names were important enough to capitalize? For shame!
3) Let's not forget that papa has shown dictatorial leanings in the past. How much does he really support the democratic system? How long will it be before he changes the Название of "president" to "world leader" or, worse yet, "Sole leader of all things Fanpop!" Only it won't be "Fanpop" anymore-- it will be "Fanpapa!"
4) And how about that suspicious military record? Amazondebs claims to have partaken in the War on Trolls, but she has been AWOL for quite some time now. Is she ditching her patriotic duty?
5) Where do they stand on the issues? Neither debs nor papa have made a public statement on what they intend to do to personally improve your daily life.
6) Unlike papa-debs, Cinders cordially promises to be your personal best friend for her whole term, and Ты may call on her whenever Ты want to. Ты have permission to impress people at parties by saying, "I know the president, personally" and if anyone asks Cinders to corroborate, she pledges to say that this is true.
7) Cinders and DrDevience also pledge to be constantly vigilant when it comes to national security. We will each personally continue to fight the War on Trolls, the War on Stupidity, and the War on Chat Speak and Poor Grammar. Do Ты have a stupid, chat-speaking troll on your doorstep and Ты don't know how to make it go away? Call on Cinders and DrDevience to save the day!
8) As a die-hard Фан of the Дебаты Spot, and a dedicated Фан of Human Rights, Cinders knows the controversial issues that are closest to your heart. And she will take up your cause, all Ты need to do is ask. She will listen to your complaints and she will fight for you.
9) The healing and happy powers of Cinders famous печенье are now yours to experience whenever Ты please, as whoever Голоса for Cinders gets a life time supply of печенье to have whenever they want.
10) Cinders pledges to eloquently write all of her own speeches and campaign promises, and she also pledges to start paying all her interns and giving them benefits, not to mention free печенье whenever they want them. Interns will get paid vacation, full dental, health, Главная owner's, car and life insurance. She pledges to stop having DrDevience beat her interns with her cane until the interns write a decent speech for her. She also pledges not to огонь all of her interns after she finishes Чтение this speech. If she's not too hung over.
So there Ты have it. Ten reasons to vote for Cinders and DrDevience and NOT papa and amazondebs, written by the brilliantly eloquent Cinders herself... Эй, wait a minute, what's that about interns?
1) First of all, how about that title? papa-debs? Even papa-amazondebs. It sounds an awful lot like "Papa Smurf" doesn't it, folks? The truth of the matter is that papa and debs are NOT as fanpopalicious (or fanpapalicious depending on which region of Fanpopdom Ты hail from) as they appear to be. The truth is, they are secret smurf supporters! And none of us want the smurfs to be in power, do we? Traitors!
2) How about the suspicious lack of capitalization to both of their names, eh? What does this say about the candidates' commitment to the job? How important is this to them, if they didn't think their names were important enough to capitalize? For shame!
3) Let's not forget that papa has shown dictatorial leanings in the past. How much does he really support the democratic system? How long will it be before he changes the Название of "president" to "world leader" or, worse yet, "Sole leader of all things Fanpop!" Only it won't be "Fanpop" anymore-- it will be "Fanpapa!"
4) And how about that suspicious military record? Amazondebs claims to have partaken in the War on Trolls, but she has been AWOL for quite some time now. Is she ditching her patriotic duty?
5) Where do they stand on the issues? Neither debs nor papa have made a public statement on what they intend to do to personally improve your daily life.
6) Unlike papa-debs, Cinders cordially promises to be your personal best friend for her whole term, and Ты may call on her whenever Ты want to. Ты have permission to impress people at parties by saying, "I know the president, personally" and if anyone asks Cinders to corroborate, she pledges to say that this is true.
7) Cinders and DrDevience also pledge to be constantly vigilant when it comes to national security. We will each personally continue to fight the War on Trolls, the War on Stupidity, and the War on Chat Speak and Poor Grammar. Do Ты have a stupid, chat-speaking troll on your doorstep and Ты don't know how to make it go away? Call on Cinders and DrDevience to save the day!
8) As a die-hard Фан of the Дебаты Spot, and a dedicated Фан of Human Rights, Cinders knows the controversial issues that are closest to your heart. And she will take up your cause, all Ты need to do is ask. She will listen to your complaints and she will fight for you.
9) The healing and happy powers of Cinders famous печенье are now yours to experience whenever Ты please, as whoever Голоса for Cinders gets a life time supply of печенье to have whenever they want.
10) Cinders pledges to eloquently write all of her own speeches and campaign promises, and she also pledges to start paying all her interns and giving them benefits, not to mention free печенье whenever they want them. Interns will get paid vacation, full dental, health, Главная owner's, car and life insurance. She pledges to stop having DrDevience beat her interns with her cane until the interns write a decent speech for her. She also pledges not to огонь all of her interns after she finishes Чтение this speech. If she's not too hung over.
So there Ты have it. Ten reasons to vote for Cinders and DrDevience and NOT papa and amazondebs, written by the brilliantly eloquent Cinders herself... Эй, wait a minute, what's that about interns?