1. Why did the turkey пересекать, крест the road? He wasn't a chicken.
2. Knock, knock! Who's there? Norma Lee. Norma Lee who? Norma Lee, I ring the doorbell.
3. If Ты are American in the living room, what are Ты in the bathroom? European (you're a peein')!
4. What did the science book say to the math book? Boy, do Ты have problems!
5. When I fell down, a friend asked, "Are Ты all right?" I replied, "No, I'm half left."
6. What do Ты get when Ты пересекать, крест a hedgehog with a turtle? A slow poke
7. Why do skunks like Valentine's Day? They're scent-imental.
8. Knock, knock! Who's there? Urine. Urine who? Urine for a big surprise. I peed myself laughing at these jokes.
9. Knock, knock! Who's there? Britney Spears. Britney Spears who? Knock, Knock! Who's there? Britney Spears. Britney Spears who? Oops! I did it again.
10. Knock, Knock! Who's there? Interrupting Chili Peppers. Interrupting...Give it away, give it away, give it away now!
11. What did one meteor say to the other? Help me! I'm falling!
12. What did the mallard say to the лебедь when they were playing Frisbee? Duck!
13. What did the covers say to the bed? Don't worry, I've got Ты covered.
14. Knock, knock! Who's there? Owl. Owl who? Whooooooooo else?!
2. Knock, knock! Who's there? Norma Lee. Norma Lee who? Norma Lee, I ring the doorbell.
3. If Ты are American in the living room, what are Ты in the bathroom? European (you're a peein')!
4. What did the science book say to the math book? Boy, do Ты have problems!
5. When I fell down, a friend asked, "Are Ты all right?" I replied, "No, I'm half left."
6. What do Ты get when Ты пересекать, крест a hedgehog with a turtle? A slow poke
7. Why do skunks like Valentine's Day? They're scent-imental.
8. Knock, knock! Who's there? Urine. Urine who? Urine for a big surprise. I peed myself laughing at these jokes.
9. Knock, knock! Who's there? Britney Spears. Britney Spears who? Knock, Knock! Who's there? Britney Spears. Britney Spears who? Oops! I did it again.
10. Knock, Knock! Who's there? Interrupting Chili Peppers. Interrupting...Give it away, give it away, give it away now!
11. What did one meteor say to the other? Help me! I'm falling!
12. What did the mallard say to the лебедь when they were playing Frisbee? Duck!
13. What did the covers say to the bed? Don't worry, I've got Ты covered.
14. Knock, knock! Who's there? Owl. Owl who? Whooooooooo else?!
here is one of my fav jokes-
teacher- students,as a part of literary week celebrations, we have decided to hold a competition!
(children starts to look at each other and whisper)
teacher- silence! the contest is, each день Ты have to read a well known book! and i'll say the names of some well-known books,and those who have read it should raise their hands, and the one who has read most books,will get extra recess time
(children cheers!later at the end of the week)
teacher- how many of Ты read , hamlet?
(the whole class raise their hands!)
teacher-good! now how many has read oddissi?
(again the whole class raise their hands!the teacher is suspicious whether they r lying,so she decides to test them)
teacher- exellent!now how many of Ты have read the biography of aristotile?
(as expected,the whole class raise their hands again!)
teacher- good,but may i inform Ты that there is no book yet,called biography of aristotle?
teacher- students,as a part of literary week celebrations, we have decided to hold a competition!
(children starts to look at each other and whisper)
teacher- silence! the contest is, each день Ты have to read a well known book! and i'll say the names of some well-known books,and those who have read it should raise their hands, and the one who has read most books,will get extra recess time
(children cheers!later at the end of the week)
teacher- how many of Ты read , hamlet?
(the whole class raise their hands!)
teacher-good! now how many has read oddissi?
(again the whole class raise their hands!the teacher is suspicious whether they r lying,so she decides to test them)
teacher- exellent!now how many of Ты have read the biography of aristotile?
(as expected,the whole class raise their hands again!)
teacher- good,but may i inform Ты that there is no book yet,called biography of aristotle?
1 день 2 very lovin parents got into a huge fight, the man called the women a "bitch" and the women called the man a "bastard".
Their son wlked in n сказал(-а) "Wat doz сука n bastard mean?" n d parents replied "ladies and gentlemen".
d nx день d parents decided 2 hav sex, d women сказал(-а) "feel my titties" n the man сказал(-а) "feel my dick".
Their son wlked in n asked "What doz titties n dick mean?" n d parents replied "hats n coats".
On Thnksgivin d dad was shavin n cut himself, "Shit" he said, d kid came in n asked "What's dat mean" n dman сказал(-а) it was d brand shavin cream he was usin.
Dwn stairs d mom was preparin d turkey, n she cut herself, "Fuck" she said. Once again the kid asked "What's dat mean" the mom сказал(-а) dats wat she calls stuffin d turkey.
логово, ден d door колокол, колокольчик, белл rang. d kid answered d door to his relatives n сказал(-а) "Alright u bitches n bastards, put ur dicks n titties in d closet, my dad is upstairs wipin the shit off his face, n my mom is in the кухня fuckin d turkey!
Their son wlked in n сказал(-а) "Wat doz сука n bastard mean?" n d parents replied "ladies and gentlemen".
d nx день d parents decided 2 hav sex, d women сказал(-а) "feel my titties" n the man сказал(-а) "feel my dick".
Their son wlked in n asked "What doz titties n dick mean?" n d parents replied "hats n coats".
On Thnksgivin d dad was shavin n cut himself, "Shit" he said, d kid came in n asked "What's dat mean" n dman сказал(-а) it was d brand shavin cream he was usin.
Dwn stairs d mom was preparin d turkey, n she cut herself, "Fuck" she said. Once again the kid asked "What's dat mean" the mom сказал(-а) dats wat she calls stuffin d turkey.
логово, ден d door колокол, колокольчик, белл rang. d kid answered d door to his relatives n сказал(-а) "Alright u bitches n bastards, put ur dicks n titties in d closet, my dad is upstairs wipin the shit off his face, n my mom is in the кухня fuckin d turkey!
An old lady was standing at the railing of the cruise ship‚ holding her hat on tightly so that it wouldn't blow off in the wind.
A gentleman approached her and said: "Pardon me‚ madam. I do not intend to be forward‚ but did Ты know that your dress is blowing up in this high wind?"
"Yes‚ I know‚" сказал(-а) the lady‚ "I need both hands to hold onto this hat."
"But‚ madam‚ Ты must know that your privates are exposed!" сказал(-а) the gentleman in earnest.
The woman looked down‚ then back up at the man and replied‚ "Sir‚ anything Ты see down there is 85 years old. I just bought this hat yesterday!"
A gentleman approached her and said: "Pardon me‚ madam. I do not intend to be forward‚ but did Ты know that your dress is blowing up in this high wind?"
"Yes‚ I know‚" сказал(-а) the lady‚ "I need both hands to hold onto this hat."
"But‚ madam‚ Ты must know that your privates are exposed!" сказал(-а) the gentleman in earnest.
The woman looked down‚ then back up at the man and replied‚ "Sir‚ anything Ты see down there is 85 years old. I just bought this hat yesterday!"
