Rachel: Mr. Schuester, do Ты have any idea how ridiculous it is to give the lead solo in "Sit Down, You're Rocking the Boat" to a boy in a wheelchair?
Artie: I think Mr. Schue's using irony to enhance the performance.
Rachel: There's *nothing* ironic about Показать choir! (Pilot)
The еще time Rachel storms out of rehearsal, the less impact it has. (Preggers)
(Talking about boys beating girls) We're planning on smacking them down like the hand of God. (Vitamin D)
Puck, with respect, you're еще helpful when Ты don't contribute. (Vitamin D)
(To Finn about his newfound energy) Has your soul been taken over by caffeinated Космос aliens? (Vitamin D)
(To Tina upon his accident) But I want to be very clear... I still have the use of my penis. (Wheels)
(To Rachel) You're irritating. But don't take that personally. (Wheels)
Artie: I'd Любовь to be in the фото Rachel, but I'd be sitting and you'd be standing, and it throws off the whole composition!
Rachel: I'll lean over.
Artie: But, if Ты lean over, it'll look like Ты have stomach rolls.
Rachel: On секунда thought, I don't think you're leadership material, Artie!
Artie: *points to self* Follower. (Mattress)
Mercedes: What's a "patriotic" wedgie?
Finn: It's when they hoist Ты up the flagpole by your undies.
Artie: Strangely, it did make me feel еще American. (Mattress)
(Talking to Rachel about Run Joey Run) Ты had me at sex tape. How can I help? (Bad Reputation)
(Talking about trying to get a reputation) We have to do what we've been dreading. Something еще terrifying than Rachel's personality. (Bad Reputation)
I sound like someone put tap shoes on a horse then shot it. (Dream On)
Tina: Ты ignored me for weeks this summer.
Artie: I was playing a marathon game of Halo, woman. (Audition)
(About Sam) Finn: I like this kid.
Artie: I like his confidence. But the Bieber cut's gotta go. (Audition)
(To Coach Beiste about football) I really want to play. I want my girlfriend back and... I want abs. (Audition)
(After Brittany says she's into Artie) Artie: You've never made eye contact with me.
Brittany: For awhile, I thought Ты were a robot. (Duets)
Sam: Chicken, egg whites, fish-no salmon, oatmeal, brown рис, райс but not after 6 PM, no масло, сливочное масло или oil, and no soda...
Finn: That’s all Ты eat?
Sam: Ain’t no carpool lane to sexy.
Artie: Damn straight. (Rocky Horror Хор Show)
(To Santana and Brittany, following Puck's advice) All I can say is that I don’t want a long-term relationship with either of you; especially Brittany since I’m not in Любовь with her. (Never Been Kissed)
(About Sam punching Karofsky) Mike: Dude´s a mad animal!
Artie: He´s a manimal. (Furt)
(To Tina upon talking about a problem) Is the problem your outfit? Ты look like a cheerleader zombie corpse. (Special Education)
I told my parents I only want one thing for Рождество this year: stop friending me on Facebook. (A Very Хор Christmas)
Brittany was the only person we could find on short notice. We bribed her with Dots. (A Night of Neglect)
(To Sunshine) Seriously, with your size, Ты could easily sit in the air ducts for days. (A Night of Neglect)
Artie: I think Mr. Schue's using irony to enhance the performance.
Rachel: There's *nothing* ironic about Показать choir! (Pilot)
The еще time Rachel storms out of rehearsal, the less impact it has. (Preggers)
(Talking about boys beating girls) We're planning on smacking them down like the hand of God. (Vitamin D)
Puck, with respect, you're еще helpful when Ты don't contribute. (Vitamin D)
(To Finn about his newfound energy) Has your soul been taken over by caffeinated Космос aliens? (Vitamin D)
(To Tina upon his accident) But I want to be very clear... I still have the use of my penis. (Wheels)
(To Rachel) You're irritating. But don't take that personally. (Wheels)
Artie: I'd Любовь to be in the фото Rachel, but I'd be sitting and you'd be standing, and it throws off the whole composition!
Rachel: I'll lean over.
Artie: But, if Ты lean over, it'll look like Ты have stomach rolls.
Rachel: On секунда thought, I don't think you're leadership material, Artie!
Artie: *points to self* Follower. (Mattress)
Mercedes: What's a "patriotic" wedgie?
Finn: It's when they hoist Ты up the flagpole by your undies.
Artie: Strangely, it did make me feel еще American. (Mattress)
(Talking to Rachel about Run Joey Run) Ты had me at sex tape. How can I help? (Bad Reputation)
(Talking about trying to get a reputation) We have to do what we've been dreading. Something еще terrifying than Rachel's personality. (Bad Reputation)
I sound like someone put tap shoes on a horse then shot it. (Dream On)
Tina: Ты ignored me for weeks this summer.
Artie: I was playing a marathon game of Halo, woman. (Audition)
(About Sam) Finn: I like this kid.
Artie: I like his confidence. But the Bieber cut's gotta go. (Audition)
(To Coach Beiste about football) I really want to play. I want my girlfriend back and... I want abs. (Audition)
(After Brittany says she's into Artie) Artie: You've never made eye contact with me.
Brittany: For awhile, I thought Ты were a robot. (Duets)
Sam: Chicken, egg whites, fish-no salmon, oatmeal, brown рис, райс but not after 6 PM, no масло, сливочное масло или oil, and no soda...
Finn: That’s all Ты eat?
Sam: Ain’t no carpool lane to sexy.
Artie: Damn straight. (Rocky Horror Хор Show)
(To Santana and Brittany, following Puck's advice) All I can say is that I don’t want a long-term relationship with either of you; especially Brittany since I’m not in Любовь with her. (Never Been Kissed)
(About Sam punching Karofsky) Mike: Dude´s a mad animal!
Artie: He´s a manimal. (Furt)
(To Tina upon talking about a problem) Is the problem your outfit? Ты look like a cheerleader zombie corpse. (Special Education)
I told my parents I only want one thing for Рождество this year: stop friending me on Facebook. (A Very Хор Christmas)
Brittany was the only person we could find on short notice. We bribed her with Dots. (A Night of Neglect)
(To Sunshine) Seriously, with your size, Ты could easily sit in the air ducts for days. (A Night of Neglect)