posted by twilightlover73
WARNING This Статья might be quite offensive to twilight, so if you're a Фан of twilight (especially if you're one of these crazy fangirls) please do not waste your time to read this and comment. I know there's no point of me telling Ты this because you'll read and Комментарий anyways, but at least I tried.
Dear characters of twilight,
Bella, please get a life. When peoples' Любовь leave them, they try to stay strong and keep fighting for what is worth it like Hermione did. They do not curl up in the fetal position and go numb for weeks like Ты did.
Edward, Ты think you're hot when Ты sparkle? Well you're not. And your taste in women is reckless. Who falls in Любовь with someone who can barley put two words together? Plus, who the hell is so dumb to change from a really cool character (Cedric) to such a loser (Edward)?
Jacob, it was so so SO dumb of Ты to fall in Любовь with someone who is five минуты old. And your choice of women is reckless as well because Ты fell in Любовь with the same chick the other jerk, what's his name again? Oh yeah, Edward.
Carlisle, Ты call yourself and your clan vampires? Ты guys don't even come close to mosquitoes who drink only a drop of human blood. Yeah, that's so smart of Ты not drinking human blood. If a vampire drinks he drinks human blood, THAT'S WHAT THEY'RE FREAKING KNOWN FOR!!
Esme, Ты barley even talk in the whole series!! I thought the mom is suppose to be a big part of all this. I think Ты should pay еще attention to Molly Weasley to know what a real mom is.
James, Please stop trying to talk posher than Queen Elizabeth. No one talks like that and it's not cool at all. And you're seriously comparing yourself to Voldemort? Seriously? Oh God if he heard this he would be so embarrassed.... oh wait... villains don't get embarrassed unlike somebody here.
Victoria, Ты think you're so cool an badass huh? Well lets call Bellatrix and see how badass you'll be then! Yeah I'll bet she'll be having your жопа, попка on огонь in a matter of seconds!
Renesmee, Ты do not believe how sorry I feel for you. First, Ты have an incredibly dumb sparkling mom, a huge show-off sparkling dad, and a psycho werewolf boyfriend that is older than Ты in like what? 18 years? Second, your dumb mom gave Ты an even dumber name. Renesmee Carlie Cullen. What a shame.... I feel really sorry for Ты kid.
Rosalie, you're just as much as a Показать off as Edward. Ты think you're so pretty and all? Well Ты know what I think? I think Lord Voldemort is prettier than you! And he's bald and doesn't have a nose! The only thing I ever liked Ты for is that Ты used to hate Bella. But yet again, Ты USED to hate Bella, Ты don't anymore so I don't like Ты at all.
Jasper, Good Job imitating Harry on the messy hair, too bad it didn't work. And good for Ты Harry never saw it, he would pass out. Though if Ты ate Bella in New Moon he would actually like you, but Ты didn't so HA!
Emmett, What can I say here? Your whole Teddy медведь reputation is getting boring. So don't even try, no one will ever be as big, awesome and cuddly as Hagrid.
Alice, I think Ты have to take lessons from Trelawney to learn how to see the future, at least she can predict exactly what would happen and not just possibilities. And stop trying to get Популярное and cool by organizing parties and all, because that's realy getting stupid.
Aro, if you're an evil vampire, no if you're even a vampire I'm Ron's Quidditch hat!! Nuf said
Jane, if Ты think you're cool you're wrong. I can call Фред and George and make Ты guys compete. And don't even try to use your powers because they're not dumb not to put some spell that blocks that.
Regards, a Harry Potter fan
If Ты have any еще additions, feel free to tell me in the Комментарии and I'll add them to the letter.