55. Bella is a perfect character (“Mary Sue”), which Meyer hides by calling her clumsy.
56. Being clumsy is not a flaw if Edward always catches her.
57. She can’t do anything without Edward.
58. And when he leaves she attempts to commit suicide.
59. Meyer is living out her own fantasies by writing about Bella, who is clearly herself.
60. The books aren’t well written, just because every other word is a fancy adjective doesn’t make it good writing.
61. All the rules Meyer sets for being a vampire are broken by the end of the series.
62. Not only that, she breaks rules set by more esteemed authors.
63. The world population will come to an end because all girls who read this book will think they are Bella and will wait for their Edward to come until they are old. And he’ll never come.
64. Bella almost dies fifty thousand times, but Edward always saves her. This is boring.
65. Edward is too perfect and has no flaws either. Even vampires should have flaws besides wanting to suck human blood because it’s natural to them.
66. The reason the books became so popular is because Bella has no personality and any loser can put themselves in her shoes.
67. If Bella is so ‘plain’, why do so many guys fall for her within the first two chapters?
68. Bella teaches women to let the man handle everything, which pretty much is a huge step backward for women everywhere, who have fought for equality.
69. Isn’t it convenient that her father always leaves her alone and doesn’t question her? Real parents aren’t that way.
70. Lack of character development.
71. Bella is a useless, whining, doll that suddenly has become the idol for girls everywhere.
72. People say that Twilight is better than Harry Potter. Guess what? WRONG.
73. Edward is extremely possessive, border-line abusive, and boring as anything.
74. It’s too cliché.
75. This book contains no real sex, so it’s not really a vampire novel.
76. Read Anne Rice – those are vampires, not the girly men that Meyer has created.
77. You don’t have to describe the character every two pages, we know all about Edward’s ‘perfectly toned chest’ the fourth time she mentions it.
78. Bella reflects upon herself through the entire novel to tell important plot developments. Hey Meyer, ever heard of “Show, don’t tell”?
79. She never uses the word fangs in the entire book series, and it’s supposedly about vampire.
80. Her vampires sparkle. Enough said.
81. Supposedly Meyer never uses the word ‘said’ in the entire first book, instead using breath.
82. There is too much face touching.
83. It’s predictable, and childish.
84. We read the entire series just to laugh at the stupidity of it.
85. Meyer can’t think of original names. The only original name she used was Rennesme, which is combination of two names and doesn’t count.
86. Vampires can’t get people pregnant. SPOILER!
87. Vampire baseball was just a disgrace.
88. People think Meyer is the best writer ever.
89. The plot drags on forever, when it really could have been completed in two books.
90. Wow, yet another ‘original’ plot of forbidden love.
91. Why is it called the Twilight Series if only one book is titled Twilight?
92. It’s too easy to mock. Go on Youtube, how many mocks on Twilight do you see?
93. They use a drug reference in a book written for ten-year-olds.
94. Stephanie Meyer creates some interesting characters ie: Jasper and Alice. She then ignores them, and gives them no development.
95. Every Other Facebook bumper sticker is about Twilight/Edward. EVERY OTHER ONE.
96. Fangirls are so blinded by their love for Edward that they don’t realize the book is terrible.
97. Stephen King agrees that Stephanie Meyer can’t write ‘worth a darn’.
98. It’s stupid.
99. Bella.
100. Bella is Edward’s beard.
101. Meyer wrote four books about nothing, really.
102. Straight men sparkle?
103. It’s teeming with grammatical errors.
104. Bella Swan means beautiful swan, which is horribly cheesy.
105. Edward Cullen is sparkly; crows like sparkly things.
106. Do any guys actually like Twilight?
107. If the first 200 pages of your book rely on the mystery of a character’s identity, don’t slap “First, Edward was a vampire” on the back cover.
108. There’s far too little actual conflict in the story. But this probably stems from having a flawless main character.
109. They fall in love way too quickly and it seems fake because no one falls in love instantly, especially teenagers.
110. They only love each other because she smells good and he’s hot. There’s no other given reason why.
111. It’s just not healthy to teach young girls that True Love involves the guy watching you while you sleep.
112. Edward is HOT. We get it.
113. She had only been in Forks for a month when Edward had been watching her sleep for two months.
114. There’s something disturbing about Carlisle turning only teenagers into vampires.
115. All Twilight fans are insane, proved by several responses to criticism such as…
“What is your name, address and phone number, just so that i can track you down ank kill You with my super awesom vampire powers THAT I AQUIRED FROM READING THE SERIES!!!!!!!!!!”

116. And this…
“do you WANT a cult of angry twilight luvers like mysef at your doorstep at night trying to behead you????? you shouldnt voice an absurd oppinion like this on the internet.”
117. And this…
“you must have not read much good litterature in youre life, because if you cannot appreciate the quality of this art…..YOU ARE MENTALLY UNSOUND!!!!!!!”
Isn’t funny how Twilight fans can’t spell and use proper capitalization? By the way, 115, 116, and 117 are real quotes.
118. The reason Edward can’t read Bella’s mind is because she doesn’t have one.
119. T. Pain would totally win Bella’s heart and beat up Edward because he’s on a boat.
120. Edward hits on the school faculty to get out of classes.
121. We applaud Stephanie Meyer, as she’s got to be a rich woman by now, having found her forte in the insane cult of teenage girls who go rabid over her writings.
122. Vampires vs. werewolves (isn’t that a Facebook application and such a original idea?)
123. There’s nothing worse than a fan girl going insane over a fictional guy. It’s rather pathetic actually, so, um, yeah, get a life and keep reading those books, chickies.
124. This book was not worth the paper on which it was printed.
125. Bella has no goals and no future, her life revolves around Edward.
126. Even if you like the book, it doesn’t live up to its hype.
127. Edward is a good VILF, that’s it.
128. “And I cried numerous times upon realising there would never be an Edward in this world.” – quoted from Almuvira Anona on Yahoo Answers.
129. A hundred years difference = pedophile.
130. It’s a co-dependent relationship stripped down to the bare essentials. Girl: “I can’t live without you. I want to change myself to be with you.” Boy: “If you leave me, I will kill myself.”
131. Stephanie Meyer must really be into pedophilia: first Edward and Bella, now Jacob and Renesseme?
132. New hot couple name for Bella and Edward = Bedward
133. You may think Edward Cullen is smart and fast, but Chuck Norris could take him.
134. Bella’s only deep thoughts are, ‘Edward is so perfect. I love him.’
135. The only reason I kept reading was to see if Bella could redeem herself by getting over him.
136. Jacob, who didn’t abuse Bella and was nice to her, was dumped and she chose Edward. Hmm, masochistic much?
137. Ms. Meyer writes the way I did when I was twelve years old, doodling in my journal.
138. “It would have been much better if Jacob and Edward discovered they were gay: no sequels, no whiny Bella. Amen to that.”
139. Many people have enjoyed the making of this, many have helped with it too…in other words lots of people hate Twilight.
140. You are allowed to have your own opinion, just like we are allowed to have ours. Get over it. Twilight fans don’t seem to understand that though and attack at the mention of flaw in the book.
141. Light Yagami doesn’t approve of Twilight so neither should you.
142. “Cause it’s dumb.” – Random Person on the Street
143. “It’s annoying as hell.” – Random Person on the Street #2
144. Martin Luther would not have not have approved if the book was written during his lifetime.
145. Harry Potter could beat Edward any day with his magic powers.
146. It’s offensive to the entire human race, both male and female [and vampire]
147. Bella chose a "straight" vampire who sparkles to a gorgeous buff werewolf. WTF?
148. Albus Severus is glad his name isn't Reneseme.
149. What's going to happen if Edward and Bella both smoke pot, get the munchies and Bella is on her period...?
150. Apparently when your boyfriend wants to eat you... it's true love!
151. Meyer's boggart is creativity.

I apologize I didn't compare, I just decided to list all of Twilight's flaws. Granted there are more [like there are more digits in pi] but Harry Potter just explodes with awesome-ness. O.o

And the mess up with the numbers - I didn't know there were 71 pages on this story. But they get the point across I hope.

I'd correct them for you but I'm too lazy.

Same here.... *sleep*

let's see, you started at 55 and ended at 151 so 151-55= you posted 96 reasons. So whatever number we had before plus 96...........2354. Okay, then:

2355. Okay, this is sort of awkward, but I'm a girl and I'm just going to put out there that blood from periods is red. "Dead" blood has darkened to brown. Therefore, if period blood is red, then it's *not* dead and consequently, the entire Cullen should be out of control for a week out of every month whenever Bella's around.

2356. "Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them". Not only is JKR creative enough to write three companion books to her series (that one, Quidditch Through the Ages, and Beedle the Bard), but in Fantastic Beasts etc, she put in little funny handwritten comments that are supposedly Harry and Ron writing in the margins about parts of the text. Would Smeyer think of that? I don't think so. Her "creativity" of companion books extends to completely rewriting a book she already wrote and just changing every "Edward" to "I" and every "I" to "Bella" to make it in Edward's point of view.

2357. Twilight fangirls = the next generation of Nazi's. They'll have their concentration camps in Forks.

2358. Smeyer made up mythology for a tribe that had already existed. Please do your research first, Smeyer.

2359. Poor Takahiro Sakurai( Cloud from Final Fantasy 7 and Yu Kanda from D.Gray-Man, Japanese version ) played Edward Cullen in the Japanese dub of Twilight. It ruined my favourite seiyuu's(voice actor) image! ;___;

Oh...my god.

I was on this site looking for more reasons and I found one that said a teen cult about Twilight sacrificed a girl and sent her blood to the person who plays Edward.

My god...

And it's true, too.
They weren't kidding...

@ venvargie: What!? OMG! I didn't know this, well at least I know now. I even saw a Twilight doujinshi once. :(

Doujinishi?

You'll have to forgive me, I'm sleepy and not thinking straight, lol.

*insert reason here* Hey, Smeyer didn't give it any effort, why should I?

Okay, you don't really have to count that as a reason. I was just making a bad funny because it's late and I'm a little loopy. xD

2360. Because of the 20 unfortunate lessons twishit teaches girls. I don't remember where I got this. I found it a while ago, liked it, and saved it. Was going through some files and I found it again. :)

1. If a boy is aloof, stand-offish, ignores you or is just plain rude, it is because he is secretly in love with you — and you are the point of his existence.
2.Secrets are good — especially life-threatening ones.
3. It’s OK for a potential romantic interest to be dimwitted, violent and vengeful — as long as he has great abs.
4. If a boy tells you to stay away from him because he is dangerous and may even kill you, he must be the love of your life. You should stay with him since he will keep you safe forever.
5. If a boy leaves you, especially suddenly (while telling you he will never see you again), it is because he loves you so much he will suffer just to keep you safe.
6. When a boy leaves you, going into shock, losing all your friends and enduring night terrors are completely acceptable occurrences — as long as you keep your grades up.
7. It is extremely romantic to put yourself in dangerous situations in order to see your ex-boyfriend again. It’s even more romantic to remember the sound of his voice when he yelled at you.
8. Boys who leave you always come back.
9. Because they come back, you should hold out, waiting for them for months, even when completely acceptable and less-abusive alternative males present themselves.
10. Even though you have no intention of dating an alternative male who expresses interest in you, it is fine to string the young man along for months. Also, you should use him to fix things for you. Maybe he’ll even buy you something.
11. You should use said male to fix things because girls are incapable of anything mechanical or technical.
12. Lying to your parents is fine. Lying to your parents while you run away to save your suicidal boyfriend is an extremely good idea that shows your strength and maturity. Also, it is what you must do.
13. Car theft in the service of love is acceptable.
14. If the boy you are in love with causes you (even indirectly) to be so badly beaten you end up in the hospital, you should tell the doctors and your family that you “fell down the steps” because you are such a silly, clumsy girl. That false explanation always works well for abused women.
15. Men can be changed for the better if you sacrifice everything you are and devote yourself to their need for change.
16. Young women should make no effort to improve their social skills or emotional state. Instead, they should seek out potential mates that share their morose deficiencies and emotional illnesses.
17. Girls shouldn’t always read a book series just because everyone else has.
18. When writing a book series, it’s acceptable to lift seminal source material and bastardize it \with tired, overwrought teenage angst.
19. When making or watching a major feature film, you should gleefully embrace the 20 minutes of plot it provides in between extended segments of vacant-eyed silence and self-indulgent, moaning banter.
20.Vampires — once among the great villains of literature and motion pictures — are no longer scary. In fact, they’re every bit as whiny, self-absorbed and impotent as any human being.

"*insert reason here* Hey, Smeyer didn't give it any effort, why should I?"

venvargie that was so funny :D:D


good reasons Gingerr14

Nice maths souflizzle317 :D:D

Expanding from a point made by Gingerr14:
If Edward and Jake did fall in love, not only end of series two books early but no stupid baby names :D:D

"venvargie that was so funny :D:D"

Heh, thanks. :)

"133. You may think Edward Cullen is smart and fast, but Chuck Norris could take him."
XD!

Venvargie: Where did you here about the cult thing?!

I don't remember, however it IS true.

I remember there being a thing on the news about some girls sending the guy blood a while back. O.O

TWILIGHT FANGIRLS ARE FUCKING CRAZY!!!!

I'm scared.... I need someone to hold me...

*hugs* It's ok.. it's ok...

*hugs back* Thank god all the girls at my school are sane. *rocks back and forth*

*sighs* Mine aren't -.-

D:
Oh noes.
Hell.
I don't think there are any rabid fangirls girls in my city.

@venvargie
Same here,
No twihards in sight.
Except for the younger generation. O.o

p.s. that is sooo messed up about the cult blood thing... I mean seriously, did they get arrested? Or at least grounded?
What is this world coming too?
Creepy chicks horny for power and a sparkling pedophile stalker?

Not even the younger generation.
Well, there is one girl on the street that might count.
But she's 11 and she just thinks the guy who plays Edward is hot.
And I'm okay with that.
She's not all like, "OMGGGGGZZZZZZ!!1 HE'S SO HAWT! I LIEK TWILITE!!!11111"

And I haven't a clue.
That was a while back so I don't remember it that well...

The ONLY good thing about twilight is definitely Taylor Lautner's abs.
When I saw new moon [Only to ridicule the horrible acting] all the girls screamed at his abs, but once Robert Pattinson came on shirtless it was dead silent. I slightly gagged myself.
I mean - Was he trying to give his one nipple hair implants, or did it just happen? And does he drink an unnecessary amount of beer, or what?

I haven't seen NM yet.
And I don't plan on it.
If it comes on tv then maybe.
Just to see how bad it is.

THEY SACRIFICED A GIRL AND SENT HER BLOOD TO PATTINSON. OH MY GOSH. *runs far far away* I will find refuge on Europa (One of Jupiter's moons that has water.)

O.O; *follows you*

Road trip!

I saw it to make fun of it with my friend.
And my boyfriend asked me to go to make fun of it as well.
We also got to make a fat ugly old man angry.

For talking during the movie?
I would think he'd be glad not to hear that crap.
xD

I have no idea what was with him
but he screamed at my friend to "Shut the f*** up"
You have no idea how awkward the silence was.

XD
Hah, oh wow!
If that had been me getting yelled at I would have been all like, "Bitch shush! I'm trying to watch the movie. Gosh, people today are so rude."

Yes they are.
It only adds more horror to the disaster called a movie.

Seriously
*sighs*
What is the world coming to...

If only we knew.
The Zombie Apocalypse is coming.
Twihards will be the first to go.

Correction.

The Twihards ARE the zombies.
We, the normal people, will be the first to go.
D:

I feel kinda depressed, now that I know the zombie acopalypse is a-coming. *gasps* I know! We convert Chuck Norris and Little Miss Sunshine to our side! We'll survive for sure!!!

Brilliant!

Why didn't I think of that?

Chuck Norris can beat Edward Cullen in a fight in 0.3643 seconds. XD

^^ This is of course true.

Don't shoot me guys but I've been trying to think of a reason to like twilight. I am VERY much against it, i just wanna see the attraction.

ill get back to you when i have one - then you can tear it to shreds!! Good times :D:D

Okay then^^
I'll try to think of one too.
I DID used to like the books.
*shudders*
Scary times.

O__O Chuck Norris wouldn't need to beat Edward Cullen in a fight. He would incinerate him just by looking at his awesomeness. link

XD I like, worship this person. They have a lot more of these Edward Vs ____ Cartoons, Vampagra, and The Real Twilight. I was dying laughing when I saw these. :D

Btw, @Gingerr14: I FREAKING ADORE YOUR ICON :D :D :D I love Pon and Zi. XD They're just so freaking adorable, especially Pon. :3

@venvargie i used to like toilet too but then I came to this forum and SAW THE LIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!

@LoveforSeverus and venvargie, i'm pretty sure A LOT of HP fans crossed over to the dark side for a little while. I'm one of them ): The important thing is that we came back!!!!

2361. The beautiful creatures in Smeyer's world (vampires) are also perfect. While the general public can tell that Edward is a stalker pedophile, they are portrayed in the books as flawless. The creatures known for being beautiful in JKR's world (Veelas, mainly) also have extreme tempers and are very dangerous once they're angry - In Book 4, something in the World Cup made them mad and they looked ready to kill. This makes Veelas much more interesting than vampires (at least Smeyer's vampires).

I think what made the Veela mad in the book 4 was the other team teasing them for losing. xD

Havn't been on for a while, here are some delayed reactions
Oh My God. They killed this girl? Im going with whoever was going to Jupiter.
I agree, period blood is not dead. Yet another inconsistancy.
I havn't seen NM but I probably will so I can make fun of it!
I used to be a twilight fan too. *shudders*
Those quotes were ridiculous! *facepalm*
I had a reason twilight was good, but I can't remember!!! gaaahhhh! When i do, I'll post it
Nice list, whoever wrote the one with 96 reasons!

2362. In NM Roberts Patterson's 6 pack was PHOTOSHOPED! XD

^^ What six pack? All that was there was a very pale tummy, one very hairy nipple, and sweat marks meant to be sparkles.

so was Jacobs... well actually it was FAKE suit but whatevs...

Where is everyone hearing about the sacrifice? >.<

Ohhhh...

Hey LoveforSeverus and venvarge, can I come with you to Europa?