Harry: (Voiced from across the compartment) " 'Oh Harry I Любовь you," squealed Hermione as she took a step closer to...' What's the matter Ron? Allergic to the cat?"
Ron: "No, allergic to this rubbish! Where did Ты find this?"
Harry: "On the internet, it's amazing all the stuff Ты can find there!"
Hermione: "Sounds like something straight out of Witch Weekly! I hope your mum doesn't get a hold of this Ron, I wouldn't want her to think again that Harry and I were together, it was enough trouble clearing it up last time."
Ron: "Yeah, I can't believe she made me Kiss Ты in front of everyone to prove that Ты weren't in Любовь with Harry."
Harry: "What? You've kissed?! Where was I during this? I thought I got the first Kiss in the group!? Why didn't Ты tell me, I thought we were friends, how could Ты keep this from me...."
*Harry rambles in a dazed manner while Hermione and Ron escape to the Prefects compartment for a snog session*
RON: "But WHY does screenwriter Steve Kloves keep cutting out all the best R/H stuff?"
HERMIONE: "I just don't know."
RON: "What do Ты mean we have to wait till we're 20 to enjoy a happier, less argumentive relationship?"
JK: "Because if Ты two became happy now, it wouldn't be as funny."
RON: "But that's not fair!"
JK: "You only have to wait seven years at this point."
HERMIONE: "We can't wait that long!"
Ron: "Look, it sickens me that Ты keep doing this! I WANT MY LINE BACK, Ты CREEP!"
Hermione: "Foul, loathsome, evil little cockroach! I'll kill you!"
Steve Kloves: (looks fearful) "You're - you're not real.... Ты can't hurt me..."
Ron: "OH YES WE CAN!"
Hermione: "Sic him, Crookshanks!"
Ron: (thinking) "Ok, I've finally found something that I dislike about Hermione - her stupid cat!"
Hermione: (thinking) "Ok, I've finally found something that I dislike about Ron - the idiot doesn't like my cat!"
Harry: (thinking) "Ok, at this moment, they're looking bewildered trying to figure out how to get their future relationship around the fact that they can't agree about that stupid cat!"
Crookshanks: (thinking) "Ok, first I've got to kill Wormtail, and then I'll get those stupid humans to admit that they like each other!"
Hermione: "Jeez. That Fleur... She couldn't wait until Goblet of Fire, could she? Stealing my Ronniekins!"
Ron: *drools* "Fleur...."
Hermione: "Oh, this is ridiculous."
*grabs Ron and snogs him, while all the R/Hr shippers cheer, and try to kill H/Hrs, and Harry leaves to go snog Ginny*
Ron: "Harry... I... umm... we... have something to umm... tell you..."
Harry: "What is it??"
Hermione: "Umm... Ron and I are going out..."
Ron: "Yeah... but that doesn't mean that we won't hang out with Ты anymore... and..."
Harry: "YES!!!" *dances* "THEY ARE GOING OUT!! THEY ARE GOING OUT!!! At last!!! I MEAN HONESTLY!!! I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS!!!"
Doctor: "Hermione, for the last time, Ты cannot get pregnant by snogging!"
Ron: "Doctor, we just want to make sure we have a healthy, steady relationship. And I don't want Hermione to be uncomfortable doing anything she doesn't want to do."
Hermione: *gives Ron a look* "Oh since when do Ты care?"
Ron: "No Hermione, really, I-"
*Hermione clears throat*
Ron: "Aaaah screw it....she's right."
Counselor: "There is only one step needed to make all these tantrums and quarrellings that you've been doing recently ended."
Ron: "Yeah? What is it?"
Counselor:"Miss Granger has to get rid of her cat."
Hermione: "No way! Crookshanks' okay!!"
Ron: "Yes! Yes! Yes!"
(Hermione frowns heavily)
Counselor: "But I've thought better of Ты two." *smiles cheekily*
Ron and Hermione: *turn around* "Huh?"
Counselor: "Mr. Weasley, go on and Kiss Miss Granger. RIGHT NOW. That will settle the problems."
HERMIONE: "We're not speaking to each other again. Care to help us out?"
HARRY: "What with?"
RON: "All I сказал(-а) was that I didn't think Brad Pitt was a good choice for the role of Achilles in Wolfgang Petersen's 'Troy' and she went ballistic."
HERMIONE: "Ron, I did NOT go ballistic! I was simply disappointed that Ты couldn't see the brilliance of Brad Pitt's performance in 'Troy'!"
RON: "What brilliance? Brad Pitt's a giant Ken Doll."
HERMIONE: "Excuse me?! Okay, did Ты NOT see him in 'Fight Club'?"
RON: "Hermione, Ты were sitting Далее to me when I watched 'Fight Club'. I thought it was okay, nothing great. I mean, it was no 'Ten Commandments'."
HERMIONE: "Brad Pitt is a GOOD actor!"
RON: "Oh yeah? Maybe Ты just have a fetish for boyish, blue eyed blonde men, Draco being the exception of course. Did Ты ever think of that?"
HERMIONE: "I... I do not!"
RON: "Hey it's nothing to be ashamed of, everyone goes after the blonde, blue eyed types at least once. I promise I won't tell Viktor Krum."
HERMIONE: "Would Ты shut up about that?!"
HARRY: "Jeez, this is almost as bad as the time she thought Ты were dating a Slytherin girl."
RON: "Oh yeah. Those were good times."
HERMIONE: "Shut up! One еще word and I'll sick Crookshanks on you, I swear to God!"
Hermione: "Mm... can't look at Ron, can't look at Ron... ooh, Tom Felton!"
Ron: "Mm... can't look at Hermione, can't look at Hermione... ooh, Tom Felton!"