Oh dear...a month?! I'm awfully sorry XD I didn't realize. Sorry, been always busy with school and then on vacation :P But on a bright note I have 4 chaps in a row ready for you. Hope Ты like this one. It's getting messy....but things have to get worse before getting better :P as Lisa said. I promise it wont' end as House did tho ;) Keep the faith. It's gonna be explosive (well, I hope....did my best)
Diclaimer (I think it's безопасно, сейф to put it every ones in a while): I know nothing about their life, Hugh или Lisa или whoever, this is just a crazy Любовь story one would wish it was true. Hope Hugh and Lisa understand :)
Enjoy <3
PS
If Ты would be so nice to just let something like a tick или something in Комментарий :p I would know whether Ты read или you're all on vacation. So I post them all in a row, but giving Ты the time to cacth up.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Previously on December/December
He straightened up clearing his throat “Well, anyway...ehm...I also called again ‘cause David called. He arranged a morning meeting at the Studios to discuss some promotional stuff for Далее год before the others leave....asking whether we can Показать up as well even if it’s nothing we aren’t already aware of but since no one knows...” he stopped. He wasn’t sure it was the right time to mention it.
“Well...we are supposed to be there by noon” he kicked a stone away “Well, I just figured Ты didn’t know, since...well Ты know....all the not-picking-up-above-mentioned-stuff-I-hope-has-nothing-to-do-with-me-specifically” he сказал(-а) in one single breath.
He sighed and walked up to the window switching down the outside lights “Good night Liz, I’ll see Ты tomorrow....” he paused “I’m sorry. Bye”
Lights were all turned off.
Nothing moved, but the dogs’ chests rhythmically going up and down with their quiet breathing in the dusk of her bedroom. Lisa made herself tinier on the armchair, bending her legs tighter against her chest, her eyes still fixed on the speaker which had just gone quiet. Something pushed to get out of her chest, but she fought it back closing her eyes tightly.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Chapter 22 - Part 1
26 March 2010
All she could hear was the sound of her feet on the ground; the sound of her steps and this dead, surreal silence that enshrouded her like a blanket.
She was running down a winding track. It snaked across the grass, bumpy and craggy, until it dropped into the water. She didn’t remember it to look like this, though. She had been this track before - she was sure of it - but she couldn’t remember her legs used to hurt like this. They felt heavy and numb, as if too much pain went into lifting them up along it. And yet, she kept running forward.
She rushed down a long flight of steps until she reached the wire netting that flanked the path that run alongside the park and pushed herself вперед as fast as she could, feeling just the thud of her сердце against her chest this time, her breath shorted and faster; the feeling all she wanted to do was running.
There were bikes now. Black bikes everywhere.
They kept hurtling along the sunny roads that followed far enough out of the park area, making no noise whatsoever, though. It felt like she was wearing something like a heavy шлем clouding her senses. However, she had nothing over her head. Just the sensation of it, she kept feeling it even to much vivid on her…
The bikes kept dashing around her, endlessly and she didn’t know why but knowing they just kept hustling by without paying the slightest attention to her was slowly getting to her. A faint sense of sorrow felt Рапунцель - Запутанная история around her heart. She couldn’t make sense of it.
The sound of her double time pace grew restless in her ears. She pushed herself вперед one еще time, darting away faster and faster as she got ready to shoot herself across the grass, beyond the trees, towards the lake shore; even if her legs kept aching and her mouth felt dry, and it felt like being driven by and pushed вперед without having a say. A wide water expanse poked out through the trees, glistening brightly under the sunrays.
The glaring glimmer jogged something within her and, before she knew it, everything started to shift and blur…
Hugh was sitting on the трава Далее to her. He had one leg bent against his chest, his arm wrapped up around it. He kept scanning the sky - the glaring brightness of it - the lake and its peaceful stillness. The sight of the palm trees and the skyscrapers one Далее to each other; the flicker of a smile was breathing across his face. She realized she felt suddenly happy; possibly literally on облако nine just for having the feeling she might have guess right and gave him one pure moment of happiness.. He missed London. She knew he did. Lakes and rain; and rowing. He had always been missing it, as much as he had no regrets he said. She felt sorry for it. Wished she could have better at making him feel home….
Hugh turned his head to her, smiling blissfully.
She found herself wishing she could have crawled Далее to him.
She held herself back, smiling him back.
His gaze flickered around for a heartbeat.
He let his hand slid across the grass. His fingers searched hers. She stared down at their hands and her сердце wringed. It was getting out her hand. She couldn’t afford feeling like this…
It felt like she had suddenly turned and the lake was gone.
Someone hustled by her. She whirled round but she couldn’t make it on time to see their faces. It was a couple though: a man and a woman, running just like her; and giggling by themselves. Seeing them caused her a sudden pang she couldn’t make sense of either.
She was tired. So, so tired now. She felt almost worn-out and she wished she could afford herself the time to find out why. But all she could think about was keeping on running forward.
She pumped the volume up in her ears. Music. This was what she needed. Music. Shut it out whatever it was; but her i-phone didn’t seem to be working today. She kept hitting the fast вперед button but yet it kept getting stuck on this damn Keb ‘Mo tune she couldn’t stand the notes of anymore.
She used to Любовь this song, though, didn’t she?
She felt jostled. She snapped her head up. It was that couple again.
How could they have already run a whole lap?
She kept running backwards this time, watching the guy from his back as he got away from her at a fast pace. He was tall and broad-shouldered; slim but definitely well-formed; and the tiny, short-haired figure of the woman almost stuck out Далее to him…
They were still laughing when they vanished behind the trees and she believed seeing them looking at each others’ in the eyes for a moment, as if they shared a secret no one could ever steal them…
Everything was starting to look out-of-focus now; shapes were getting blur - too much, as if she had gotten something in her eyes. She rubbed them with the back of her hand.
It came back moist.
“Damn it…” she whispered.
“You’d better watch your words...and mind your memories....” he suggested her.
Lisa found herself smiling, even if her сердце felt like shrinking and crumbling up in less than one second. She was smiling. And she didn’t even know why at this point: или what kind of unhealthy lack of self preservation was really pushing her to do this to herself.
This wasn’t even the first time she asked her this question, was it?
“I told you….compelling charm Ты can’t just resist for long…”
She choked a little laugh, shaking her head, her eyes about to start soaking with real tears.
Why can’t she just shut it out?
She heard him again, though clearer and louder this time.
“You’re laughing….” he said.
Her сердце leapt into her throat. There was like a piercing flickering this time.
She chased it off her ears…
She had stopped running. She didn’t know when. And she was standing in the middle of a small, cobbled garden now, with climbers weaving their way up to the roof; a pair of staircase branched off on both sides.
She’s knew this place. She had already been here too.
Hugh was standing Далее to her, leaning sideways on his shoulder against the stone-wall, hands thrust ever so casually into his pockets.
He was smiling down at her; with that nonchalant overconfidence, he seemed to display so often lately;
She knew she should go away from there….
“You’re laughing…” Hugh repeated, searching into her eyes; his bright, light-blue one just as confusing as usual “…means Ты don’t hate me that much...”
He took one hand out of his pocket and began to strike her wrist with his fingers delicately like a silent apology. Somewhere inside her, something writhed, warning her to not fall for it. Still, as words came out of her mouth their sound was just the same as the last time.
“I don’t hate you. Don’t ever dare say something like that ….”
However, it was true. Even this time, ‘cause she really didn’t. She just couldn’t: или better she did somehow, but not as much as she wished she was capable of.
Hugh’s eyes caressed her features for a moment, moving hurriedly up and down, like he was studying her face; again, it felt exactly as mind-numbing as the last time. Ever worse, ‘cause she had no spot to make herself tiny over.
“I was kidding” he told her, softly “But it’s nice to see Ты still care for me...” he said, twining his fingers with hers.
She knew she couldn’t afford going there once again. Not like this. Not now. Especially not now. So why wasn’t she just leaving?
His hand out slid out of hers. She followed the movement with her eyes as Hugh lifted it up, gently and brushed off a lock from her eyes.
She shivered and sighed, repeating herself “I'll always do..."
Why couldn’t she just shut if out?
Hugh stared down into her eyes. She could hardly breathe. He took a step closer, a familiar light flashing in his eyes “I missed you…” he wishered.
Suddenly, something roiled within her; she moved away and rubbed her face with both hands. This was insane. She had to leave. She had to, for God’s sake. She couldn’t do this.
She shook her head a little, licking her lips “I can’t Hugh….I just can’t…Please don’t do this…”
Hugh pressed himself against the wall, his hands back into his pockets. He lifted his chin up and rested his head backwards, watching her.
“…I can’t do this anymore. I can’t be your co-worker, your friend, your lover and then again just your co-worker....” she told him all over again.
“You won’t” he told her
“I’m already”
“No you’re not”
"It's not the place..."
"I don't care"
“You SHOULD care…” she remembered him.
“Why?”
“’Cause you’re married”
His answer didn’t change “I am not anymore”
“Yes Ты are”
“No”
“Yes…”
“No…”
“YES!”
He shook his head, firmly this time and without even asking he reached out to her, grabbing her tightly by her wrists to pull her to him. She struggled for a while trying to escape him, unconvincingly, though. Even for her: she wanted him to clutch her closer just as much. She kept her arms stubbornly bent against her chest, as if some part of her still hoped that thin line she was putting between their bodies might really be enough. Regardless, she knew she was expecting him to do it: put his finger under her chin to lift it up gently and forced her to stare into his eyes. As he always did.
Why was she even craving it?
His finger touched her skin and his eyes were scrutinizing her with the usual sweetness now “What do Ты want Lisa?” he asked her, tipping his head to one side.
She pressed her lips and wished she had kept just running now and never stopped.
She averted her eyes “It’s not so simple anymore. Doesn’t matter what I want…”
Hugh searched for her gaze “It does. It’s all that matters…” he said, persuasively.
She knew she was succumbing. She felt it. It was just a matter of time.
She closed her eyes, trying to collect her thoughts. They kept fizzling out of her head, as if she couldn’t even retain how she felt about it “Why did Ты do that?” she demanded confusedly, keeping on pushing him inefficiently away “Why did even Ты buy me those flowers? Why did Ты bring me to that place? Why did you….”
She had so many Вопросы bouncing about in her head, so many explanations she felt she had a right to ask, and yet all she could think about at the moment – all her body seemed to be aware of - was the way he was holding her, the feeling of his thumbs caressing her small, lightly.
“…I just wanted to make something nice for you…” Hugh сказал(-а) as he started to fiddle with her hair, delicately and gathering them into a little bun. Lisa held her breath. He looked down into her eyes “…I’m sorry it’s been always about me....“
“Hugh, I can’t…”, she mumbled “I’m not…”
He was holding her hair up behind her nape now, but his fingers were also tickling behind her neck: he began brushing it, lightly back and forth, with the back of his hand.
A shiver run down her spine; she couldn’t…
“Please Hugh, I…”
Of course, he put a finger on her lips silencing her once еще “Will Ты forgive me?” he asked, probing at her lips with his thumb.
Blood was flushing all over her body.
He wasn’t hers. He would never be. She should have run away from this. Why wasn’t she?
“You know I'll always…” she mumbled, though.
It was like she wasn’t even the one speaking anymore.
She was confused.
She didn’t know why she had сказал(-а) that.
Was it true? Would she always have? Despite of everything?
She found herself loosening up her arms. She wasn’t even fighting anymore “I just…”
Hugh encircled her tighter in his arms, laughing, “Couldn’t we have spared us all these months? Saved us all a lot of time and energy if only Ты would have дана in to it when I first came back to you?”
Lisa felt lightheaded, as if something within her kept flitting in and out of to her consciousness.
“I…I didn’t…you’re not…” she started confusedly.
Hugh didn’t let her breath. His hands around her….she couldn’t think.
“… now that everything’s been said” he told her “can we really just be friends?”
He stared down into her eyes, smilingly and she didn’t know whether they can или not anymore “Can we?” he asked her again, speaking softly.
It was like a persuasive, insistent whisper that kept buzzing in her ears.
Can they?
She felt his arms relaxing around her waist, but also nestling her unnoticeably closer, slowly. еще and more. He probed at her back as he started to bend down.
Her head began to spin.
“I…I can’t” she said, feebly, pulling away.
Hugh stopped just an inch from her face “…do Ты want me to stop?”
She could hardly breathe, her сердце pumped.
Did she? She couldn’t think. She couldn’t talk. Just like that time. Even worse. She didn’t know what to say. What did she really want?
The feeling of his lips stroking her cheeks hadn’t change. She swallowed
“…did you…” she started. Hugh’s hands slid under her shirt, changing the sound of her breath. She felt the warm of his body enshrouding her like a blanket “Did you….mean it?” she sighed, gasping lightly.
Hugh got it at once “...I meant each one of the words I wrote down on that note ….one by one…” he said, as he stopped Поцелуи her brows. His lips were now dangerously gravitating around hers. All over again, she was at the very same crossroad.
She was tired. So, so tired.
Her legs hurt so badly by now. She just wanted to give up.
He bent down over her for the very last time “…I want to keep Ты with me, Lisa…” he whispered in her mouth “….I really do...forever”.
She did it.
His lips met hers at last and she just did it. She gave up, indulging in it; surrendering entirely. She just wanted to believe those words. She wanted to believe them desperately. That was all she wanted. All she needed. All she could hear was the feeling of his hands as he crushed his body against hers; his arm sneaking around her back, tugging her closer, as he urgently slide his tongue into her mouth…
Just like that time.
Only, the feeling of this Kiss wasn’t anywhere remotely close to the one she remembered feeling when Поцелуи him; it was a Kiss that tasted of desperation and relief, veiled with a sense of defeat that kept getting louder within her.
It was overwhelming and it was leaving her lightheaded. It was like whirlwind, enshrouding her, like a blanket. She heard that piercing flickering buzzing in her ears, once again.
She couldn’t chase it off this time….
Lisa’s eyes opened lightly in the darkness. It took them a couple of секунды to adjust to the dimness of her bedroom. Kapow gave her one last, soft lick before jumping off on his feet stretching out on the ground. Apart from him, everything lay motionless.
The alarm was still beeping in the half-light. She outstretched one arm blindly, silencing it. She opened her eyes wide then and rolled to one side, still breathless. A red seven with a double zero flashed on and off the screen. Sun was already filtering through the shutters; it lightened the floor, feebly. It had nothing of the glary glow she was used to.
It felt different today.
She would have expected something like the feeling of a hollow pang aching, though; the one of a deep hole someone had meticulously dug through her chest, just like the last time.
Instead she felt nothing.
She felt nothing but emptiness and silence.
Diclaimer (I think it's безопасно, сейф to put it every ones in a while): I know nothing about their life, Hugh или Lisa или whoever, this is just a crazy Любовь story one would wish it was true. Hope Hugh and Lisa understand :)
Enjoy <3
PS
If Ты would be so nice to just let something like a tick или something in Комментарий :p I would know whether Ты read или you're all on vacation. So I post them all in a row, but giving Ты the time to cacth up.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Previously on December/December
He straightened up clearing his throat “Well, anyway...ehm...I also called again ‘cause David called. He arranged a morning meeting at the Studios to discuss some promotional stuff for Далее год before the others leave....asking whether we can Показать up as well even if it’s nothing we aren’t already aware of but since no one knows...” he stopped. He wasn’t sure it was the right time to mention it.
“Well...we are supposed to be there by noon” he kicked a stone away “Well, I just figured Ты didn’t know, since...well Ты know....all the not-picking-up-above-mentioned-stuff-I-hope-has-nothing-to-do-with-me-specifically” he сказал(-а) in one single breath.
He sighed and walked up to the window switching down the outside lights “Good night Liz, I’ll see Ты tomorrow....” he paused “I’m sorry. Bye”
Lights were all turned off.
Nothing moved, but the dogs’ chests rhythmically going up and down with their quiet breathing in the dusk of her bedroom. Lisa made herself tinier on the armchair, bending her legs tighter against her chest, her eyes still fixed on the speaker which had just gone quiet. Something pushed to get out of her chest, but she fought it back closing her eyes tightly.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Chapter 22 - Part 1
26 March 2010
All she could hear was the sound of her feet on the ground; the sound of her steps and this dead, surreal silence that enshrouded her like a blanket.
She was running down a winding track. It snaked across the grass, bumpy and craggy, until it dropped into the water. She didn’t remember it to look like this, though. She had been this track before - she was sure of it - but she couldn’t remember her legs used to hurt like this. They felt heavy and numb, as if too much pain went into lifting them up along it. And yet, she kept running forward.
She rushed down a long flight of steps until she reached the wire netting that flanked the path that run alongside the park and pushed herself вперед as fast as she could, feeling just the thud of her сердце against her chest this time, her breath shorted and faster; the feeling all she wanted to do was running.
There were bikes now. Black bikes everywhere.
They kept hurtling along the sunny roads that followed far enough out of the park area, making no noise whatsoever, though. It felt like she was wearing something like a heavy шлем clouding her senses. However, she had nothing over her head. Just the sensation of it, she kept feeling it even to much vivid on her…
The bikes kept dashing around her, endlessly and she didn’t know why but knowing they just kept hustling by without paying the slightest attention to her was slowly getting to her. A faint sense of sorrow felt Рапунцель - Запутанная история around her heart. She couldn’t make sense of it.
The sound of her double time pace grew restless in her ears. She pushed herself вперед one еще time, darting away faster and faster as she got ready to shoot herself across the grass, beyond the trees, towards the lake shore; even if her legs kept aching and her mouth felt dry, and it felt like being driven by and pushed вперед without having a say. A wide water expanse poked out through the trees, glistening brightly under the sunrays.
The glaring glimmer jogged something within her and, before she knew it, everything started to shift and blur…
Hugh was sitting on the трава Далее to her. He had one leg bent against his chest, his arm wrapped up around it. He kept scanning the sky - the glaring brightness of it - the lake and its peaceful stillness. The sight of the palm trees and the skyscrapers one Далее to each other; the flicker of a smile was breathing across his face. She realized she felt suddenly happy; possibly literally on облако nine just for having the feeling she might have guess right and gave him one pure moment of happiness.. He missed London. She knew he did. Lakes and rain; and rowing. He had always been missing it, as much as he had no regrets he said. She felt sorry for it. Wished she could have better at making him feel home….
Hugh turned his head to her, smiling blissfully.
She found herself wishing she could have crawled Далее to him.
She held herself back, smiling him back.
His gaze flickered around for a heartbeat.
He let his hand slid across the grass. His fingers searched hers. She stared down at their hands and her сердце wringed. It was getting out her hand. She couldn’t afford feeling like this…
It felt like she had suddenly turned and the lake was gone.
Someone hustled by her. She whirled round but she couldn’t make it on time to see their faces. It was a couple though: a man and a woman, running just like her; and giggling by themselves. Seeing them caused her a sudden pang she couldn’t make sense of either.
She was tired. So, so tired now. She felt almost worn-out and she wished she could afford herself the time to find out why. But all she could think about was keeping on running forward.
She pumped the volume up in her ears. Music. This was what she needed. Music. Shut it out whatever it was; but her i-phone didn’t seem to be working today. She kept hitting the fast вперед button but yet it kept getting stuck on this damn Keb ‘Mo tune she couldn’t stand the notes of anymore.
She used to Любовь this song, though, didn’t she?
She felt jostled. She snapped her head up. It was that couple again.
How could they have already run a whole lap?
She kept running backwards this time, watching the guy from his back as he got away from her at a fast pace. He was tall and broad-shouldered; slim but definitely well-formed; and the tiny, short-haired figure of the woman almost stuck out Далее to him…
They were still laughing when they vanished behind the trees and she believed seeing them looking at each others’ in the eyes for a moment, as if they shared a secret no one could ever steal them…
Everything was starting to look out-of-focus now; shapes were getting blur - too much, as if she had gotten something in her eyes. She rubbed them with the back of her hand.
It came back moist.
“Damn it…” she whispered.
“You’d better watch your words...and mind your memories....” he suggested her.
Lisa found herself smiling, even if her сердце felt like shrinking and crumbling up in less than one second. She was smiling. And she didn’t even know why at this point: или what kind of unhealthy lack of self preservation was really pushing her to do this to herself.
This wasn’t even the first time she asked her this question, was it?
“I told you….compelling charm Ты can’t just resist for long…”
She choked a little laugh, shaking her head, her eyes about to start soaking with real tears.
Why can’t she just shut it out?
She heard him again, though clearer and louder this time.
“You’re laughing….” he said.
Her сердце leapt into her throat. There was like a piercing flickering this time.
She chased it off her ears…
She had stopped running. She didn’t know when. And she was standing in the middle of a small, cobbled garden now, with climbers weaving their way up to the roof; a pair of staircase branched off on both sides.
She’s knew this place. She had already been here too.
Hugh was standing Далее to her, leaning sideways on his shoulder against the stone-wall, hands thrust ever so casually into his pockets.
He was smiling down at her; with that nonchalant overconfidence, he seemed to display so often lately;
She knew she should go away from there….
“You’re laughing…” Hugh repeated, searching into her eyes; his bright, light-blue one just as confusing as usual “…means Ты don’t hate me that much...”
He took one hand out of his pocket and began to strike her wrist with his fingers delicately like a silent apology. Somewhere inside her, something writhed, warning her to not fall for it. Still, as words came out of her mouth their sound was just the same as the last time.
“I don’t hate you. Don’t ever dare say something like that ….”
However, it was true. Even this time, ‘cause she really didn’t. She just couldn’t: или better she did somehow, but not as much as she wished she was capable of.
Hugh’s eyes caressed her features for a moment, moving hurriedly up and down, like he was studying her face; again, it felt exactly as mind-numbing as the last time. Ever worse, ‘cause she had no spot to make herself tiny over.
“I was kidding” he told her, softly “But it’s nice to see Ты still care for me...” he said, twining his fingers with hers.
She knew she couldn’t afford going there once again. Not like this. Not now. Especially not now. So why wasn’t she just leaving?
His hand out slid out of hers. She followed the movement with her eyes as Hugh lifted it up, gently and brushed off a lock from her eyes.
She shivered and sighed, repeating herself “I'll always do..."
Why couldn’t she just shut if out?
Hugh stared down into her eyes. She could hardly breathe. He took a step closer, a familiar light flashing in his eyes “I missed you…” he wishered.
Suddenly, something roiled within her; she moved away and rubbed her face with both hands. This was insane. She had to leave. She had to, for God’s sake. She couldn’t do this.
She shook her head a little, licking her lips “I can’t Hugh….I just can’t…Please don’t do this…”
Hugh pressed himself against the wall, his hands back into his pockets. He lifted his chin up and rested his head backwards, watching her.
“…I can’t do this anymore. I can’t be your co-worker, your friend, your lover and then again just your co-worker....” she told him all over again.
“You won’t” he told her
“I’m already”
“No you’re not”
"It's not the place..."
"I don't care"
“You SHOULD care…” she remembered him.
“Why?”
“’Cause you’re married”
His answer didn’t change “I am not anymore”
“Yes Ты are”
“No”
“Yes…”
“No…”
“YES!”
He shook his head, firmly this time and without even asking he reached out to her, grabbing her tightly by her wrists to pull her to him. She struggled for a while trying to escape him, unconvincingly, though. Even for her: she wanted him to clutch her closer just as much. She kept her arms stubbornly bent against her chest, as if some part of her still hoped that thin line she was putting between their bodies might really be enough. Regardless, she knew she was expecting him to do it: put his finger under her chin to lift it up gently and forced her to stare into his eyes. As he always did.
Why was she even craving it?
His finger touched her skin and his eyes were scrutinizing her with the usual sweetness now “What do Ты want Lisa?” he asked her, tipping his head to one side.
She pressed her lips and wished she had kept just running now and never stopped.
She averted her eyes “It’s not so simple anymore. Doesn’t matter what I want…”
Hugh searched for her gaze “It does. It’s all that matters…” he said, persuasively.
She knew she was succumbing. She felt it. It was just a matter of time.
She closed her eyes, trying to collect her thoughts. They kept fizzling out of her head, as if she couldn’t even retain how she felt about it “Why did Ты do that?” she demanded confusedly, keeping on pushing him inefficiently away “Why did even Ты buy me those flowers? Why did Ты bring me to that place? Why did you….”
She had so many Вопросы bouncing about in her head, so many explanations she felt she had a right to ask, and yet all she could think about at the moment – all her body seemed to be aware of - was the way he was holding her, the feeling of his thumbs caressing her small, lightly.
“…I just wanted to make something nice for you…” Hugh сказал(-а) as he started to fiddle with her hair, delicately and gathering them into a little bun. Lisa held her breath. He looked down into her eyes “…I’m sorry it’s been always about me....“
“Hugh, I can’t…”, she mumbled “I’m not…”
He was holding her hair up behind her nape now, but his fingers were also tickling behind her neck: he began brushing it, lightly back and forth, with the back of his hand.
A shiver run down her spine; she couldn’t…
“Please Hugh, I…”
Of course, he put a finger on her lips silencing her once еще “Will Ты forgive me?” he asked, probing at her lips with his thumb.
Blood was flushing all over her body.
He wasn’t hers. He would never be. She should have run away from this. Why wasn’t she?
“You know I'll always…” she mumbled, though.
It was like she wasn’t even the one speaking anymore.
She was confused.
She didn’t know why she had сказал(-а) that.
Was it true? Would she always have? Despite of everything?
She found herself loosening up her arms. She wasn’t even fighting anymore “I just…”
Hugh encircled her tighter in his arms, laughing, “Couldn’t we have spared us all these months? Saved us all a lot of time and energy if only Ты would have дана in to it when I first came back to you?”
Lisa felt lightheaded, as if something within her kept flitting in and out of to her consciousness.
“I…I didn’t…you’re not…” she started confusedly.
Hugh didn’t let her breath. His hands around her….she couldn’t think.
“… now that everything’s been said” he told her “can we really just be friends?”
He stared down into her eyes, smilingly and she didn’t know whether they can или not anymore “Can we?” he asked her again, speaking softly.
It was like a persuasive, insistent whisper that kept buzzing in her ears.
Can they?
She felt his arms relaxing around her waist, but also nestling her unnoticeably closer, slowly. еще and more. He probed at her back as he started to bend down.
Her head began to spin.
“I…I can’t” she said, feebly, pulling away.
Hugh stopped just an inch from her face “…do Ты want me to stop?”
She could hardly breathe, her сердце pumped.
Did she? She couldn’t think. She couldn’t talk. Just like that time. Even worse. She didn’t know what to say. What did she really want?
The feeling of his lips stroking her cheeks hadn’t change. She swallowed
“…did you…” she started. Hugh’s hands slid under her shirt, changing the sound of her breath. She felt the warm of his body enshrouding her like a blanket “Did you….mean it?” she sighed, gasping lightly.
Hugh got it at once “...I meant each one of the words I wrote down on that note ….one by one…” he said, as he stopped Поцелуи her brows. His lips were now dangerously gravitating around hers. All over again, she was at the very same crossroad.
She was tired. So, so tired.
Her legs hurt so badly by now. She just wanted to give up.
He bent down over her for the very last time “…I want to keep Ты with me, Lisa…” he whispered in her mouth “….I really do...forever”.
She did it.
His lips met hers at last and she just did it. She gave up, indulging in it; surrendering entirely. She just wanted to believe those words. She wanted to believe them desperately. That was all she wanted. All she needed. All she could hear was the feeling of his hands as he crushed his body against hers; his arm sneaking around her back, tugging her closer, as he urgently slide his tongue into her mouth…
Just like that time.
Only, the feeling of this Kiss wasn’t anywhere remotely close to the one she remembered feeling when Поцелуи him; it was a Kiss that tasted of desperation and relief, veiled with a sense of defeat that kept getting louder within her.
It was overwhelming and it was leaving her lightheaded. It was like whirlwind, enshrouding her, like a blanket. She heard that piercing flickering buzzing in her ears, once again.
She couldn’t chase it off this time….
Lisa’s eyes opened lightly in the darkness. It took them a couple of секунды to adjust to the dimness of her bedroom. Kapow gave her one last, soft lick before jumping off on his feet stretching out on the ground. Apart from him, everything lay motionless.
The alarm was still beeping in the half-light. She outstretched one arm blindly, silencing it. She opened her eyes wide then and rolled to one side, still breathless. A red seven with a double zero flashed on and off the screen. Sun was already filtering through the shutters; it lightened the floor, feebly. It had nothing of the glary glow she was used to.
It felt different today.
She would have expected something like the feeling of a hollow pang aching, though; the one of a deep hole someone had meticulously dug through her chest, just like the last time.
Instead she felt nothing.
She felt nothing but emptiness and silence.