Chapter 1

I was sleeping alone at night in one of the rooms of my grandfather's huge house. It was raining and there was thunder and lighting. I tossed and turned in the covers. it was a little difficult to sleep that night, even with my sex book to keep me company, and boy was it cold! I wandered the room searching for the remote for the A/C unit, nowhere. Eventually I found myself dozing under the covers, it was probably very late.

Suddenly, I was woken up by my parents. "Louis!" they сказал(-а) "Louis" it's time to get up to go to school. There was melancholy in the tone of my mother's voice, it sunk my spirits. "Who the fuck is Louis?" I whispered to myself, and then I fumbled out of bed. School? I thought, school is not till September, and what about the sky? I looked out my window. Still dark and still rainy. "What about my job?" I had quit school for a bit and promised to start back in September. I was having lots of issues in high-school and one of them included a very special lady, because it only takes one to break someone's сердце the way she did. I looked at the calendar Далее to the vanity of my crowded, dimly lighted room. "September. Louis you're dreaming"

I looked in the mirror. Suddenly my breath was snatched from my lungs. "Louis, please stay dreaming". I was handsome! And not just handsome, gorgeous! beautiful, I touched my face. As smooth as silk, except for the rough patches of very tiny, fine stubble that was just beginning to grow back after a clean shave. My black hair, perfectly curled and twisted above my big brown щенок dog eyes and молоко Шоколад skin. My arms were fat! but not of the flabby fat that sags или jiggles. Not that kind of fat. It was firm and full of muscle, beautiful, lean muscle, well defined so that it could in no way be mistaken for fat. "Louis?" I asked myself. "When last did Ты work out?" And i was so tall that i had to crouch to see myself in the mirror! I was at least 6 feet. Oh and my lips. Sweet, baby lips. It made me want to turn straight, or, considering the circumstances, gay.

"Boy, you're gorgeous. Come on, let's take a walk boy, lets get ready for school." I patted my own cheek. Suddenly i remembered that school was in walking distance from our house, which looked different from our current house, we must have moved. This overwhelming sense of change made me depressed, especially since none of the changes contributed directly to my happiness. The rain had stopped but everything was still damp and bleak. I searched my brain until i stumbled upon a very peculiar memory (you know in my dreams I can get memories of the character in that dream) 'What the fuck!' I thought. I had told my parents about my gender issues! This is definitely a dream. I assured myself. What's more, my parents got money from, I don't know, the sky, and paid for the surgery. Oh yup, I was dreaming alright, I just didn't want to wake up...not yet. How the fuck did they make me taller? I thought, and...I felt my penis for a while, totally oblivious to what the passers by were watching или thinking. It was huge!

'That isn't possible, I сказал(-а) to myself calmly, and then I walked on with a straight face, still oblivious to everything and everyone. I simply just, didn't care, and I walked like it too. Like an animal, one that just wanted to be clothed and fed and have somewhere to shit and didn't give a damn about much else. I couldn't feel my emotions anymore, and I don't think it was because I was a young man. I think it was because I'd been through so much, and because I liked this person, this, "Louis" and I wanted to get to know him a little better. Maybe it was the feeling of being temporarily under a mask that shielded me from self consciousness as I walked down the street. I can't say what exactly it was that made me feel that way. Maybe it was the fact that somewhere deep in my subconscious I knew that I was dreaming, I knew I had nothing to fear.

Chapter 2

I walked into the school gates. I felt great! I felt like king of the world. Not a shred of nerves entered me, just this eerie, sneaking sadness at the back of my heart. But it was comforting, like a blanket. I felt neither frustrated nor worried, nor scared nor anxious. Just what I wanted to feel, which was emptiness, my head was empty, my сердце was empty, and alert, ready do react to our new circumstances.(Louis and I) The school looked like most of the schools in my dreams. A mixture between my old Primary school and my High-school.The new uniform was brown pants and a cream shirt. I strapped my greyish-brown coloured plain Jansport to my back tight. My pace was slower now, treading through the school yard, knowing that when people saw me, they saw a man, and when the big bad boys saw me, they also saw it. "Hi!" сказал(-а) a Болталка guy

"Hi Louis!" сказал(-а) someone else

"Hi" I answered back. Good Lord my voice! I thought, with a shock that didn't Показать up on my face. I spoke again to clarify that it was me making that noise. "Good morning" I said. My voice was deep and heavy. I felt a surge of adrenaline rush through me just then, aka, I felt macho, but also slightly scared. Did i even want to feel macho? I kept walking. My bag held tight in my fists like a pilgrim.

Suddenly a group of boys walked up to me. I just looked down at them (for they were shorter than I was) and I stared. Most of the boys were either slightly overweight или fat. Neither of them contained anything resembling muscle and their faces were average, but they looked worse now that they were screwed up and angry. My face had no emotion in it as they gathered around me. It was probably because I felt none.

"So, Ты think you're better than everybody else just because you're pretty?" сказал(-а) one of them. I smirked. The boy pushed me. I barely moved. "Well maybe we should mess up that pretty face of yours huh pretty boy?" They all snickered. I started getting a little concerned.They were small, yes, but there were many, about five, and plus, i wasn't in the mood for fighting right now and I was too lazy to take them seriously или care what happened to me. I didn't have time for this. Just then an оранжевый head boy even shorter than the gang that was surrounding me now, (he looked like he was in about form 3, which is equal to the third год of high-school) walked in. He was a sloppy, fat boy and his hair was wild an unkempt. He came to school with his head to the floor. Suddenly the gang turned their attention from me and looked at him. "Hey, here's our lunch money guys!" They snickered and then walked towards him, leaving me completely alone. I smiled. Then I looked at the poor boy. Would've liked to help, but I didn't feel like getting involved.

I looked in the other direction. There was the school yard. I saw boys flying kites. There were three of them. One was in the back, his воздушный змей, кайт was flying fairly high. The boy in the front's воздушный змей, кайт was soaring, and the little shrimpy black kid at the side of him, well, his воздушный змей, кайт was practically on the ground. I walked up to him. He saw me coming. He looked a little concerned. Maybe it was my muscle that frightened him, или my height. I didn't bother about it. Soon he would know not to be afraid.

"Hey" I сказал(-а) I was close to him now and I came up behind him. His skin was a coffee coloured dark chocolate. "I can make it go higher" I grabbed the spool from him. He didn't even fight back. He respected me. It felt good. It felt really good. Then I maneuvered the воздушный змей, кайт just like I used to, see I was always good at flying kites. Soon, it lifted way up into the air. It was like I didn't even have to try much. As soon as my hand touched the spool, it flew. The boy looked impressed. I smiled, and then I gave him back the spool. "Here" I said. He looked at me with admiration, as if he was impressed at my niceness. Maybe he thought at first that I was trying to take the kite. But now, his face lit up like a warm sunny day. I flirted a little, when he wasn't looking. или at least I think he wasn't looking. He smirked at me. I went to sit down on the green benches on the side, watching the little boy fly his kite.There was something between me and the little boy. A kind of first hand connection. I liked that, I liked that a lot. That would probably mean something for us in the future.

Suddenly the boy called to me. "Hey! Эй, um, you, who helped me fly the kite!" He shouted frantically. I Looked up and ran to him. "Look! Over there" I could see, the kite's thread was between some electrical wires. "Could Ты get it out for me?" He said. There was a kind of confidence in his voice as if he thought I could do anything. I grabbed the spool. I tried to safely maneuver the воздушный змей, кайт through the electrical wires. It was coming in closer and closer. But I didn't know If I could make it. I didn't want to let the boy down, but I also didn't want to get shocked, and I didn't know exactly how these electrical wires worked. "Your kite's a goner man!" I exclaimed and then I let go of the kite. It flew far into the heavens. I glanced at the boy. He looked a little disappointed. Then i headed back to my сиденье, место, сиденья by the benches. I was a loner, but I wasn't lonely, I was still going through this phase of wonder and comfort. I could feel something good impending and I could feel myself for the first time. I felt big.

Chapter 3

I could see the boy coming towards me. I sat up a little and stared at him with curiosity. He just came Далее to me casually. He was 14 definitely, couldn't be еще than 14, and he looked like he was in the секунда год of high-school. I didn't care though. I had a kind of light, fluffiness in my сердце and I didn't care what the age group my Друзья were anymore, или even if I had any. I might have seemed a little apathetic, but I was happy, happy with my new kiddo friend. I mean sometimes you're not sure first hand if it's going to last, But sometimes Ты just...know, there's this chemistry that tells you, you're not going to break apart so easy. I looked at him.

"Hey man" he said. He reached out his fist to me

"Hey" I smiled, and we knocked fists together. "You in form 1?"

"Two" he said

"Okay" I replied. And I was right, we had that bond, we spoke each others language. Good old boring Louis language with no gossip, no confusion. Just a nice, peaceful, toneless convo. We both seemed short of emotions. Then, after I got to know him better, I wondered something. Would he still like me if he knew? I sighed. I wanted to tell him. Because I'd rather have no Друзья that accepted me for who I was than one friend who accepted me for something I wasn't. It was a gamble, but i wanted to test our friendship, even though it was very early. I don't know why I did it, It was as risky as jumping off a cliff without a parachute.

"So, Ты got a name?" He said, filling up the gap in time.

"Louis" I smiled.It was cute the way he сказал(-а) that.

"Ivan"

Then, just as I was about to spill the beans about my identity, the red head boy came up to us and sat down. "Hey Ivan" he said.

"Hi Ricky" сказал(-а) Ivan. Wow, they knew each other, I thought. That was hard to believe. Ivan seemed cool. Anyways, who was I to judge? Both of them listened attentively. "Uh...hey" I сказал(-а) "Ivan, there's something about me I think Ты should know"

"What's that?"

I paused for a while "I wasn't always a boy" I сказал(-а) finally

He watched me up and down. An embarrassed miniature smile rose on my face. "I'm transgender. I used to be a girl but then my parents suddenly decided to let me do the surgery. Uh...I feel great"

Ivan nodded "Okay man" he said, with a slight smile.

I twitched my head slightly. "That's it?"

He just stared at me

"You mean Ты don't think I'm a freak?"

"No" he smirked "It's cool man. You're one of us, you're one a the guys" My face lit up and just then the school колокол, колокольчик, белл echoed through the yard loudly.

"Come on, we gotta go man, we'll be late for class"

Ricky got up

"Louis!" сказал(-а) Ivan

"Coming" I said, lazily shifting upright. Then suddenly I saw something awful. It was like a nightmare, it stunned me into petrification. Remember that lady I was telling Ты about earlier? It was her! And I thought, what is she doing here? In this school, for another September, shouldn't she be finished by now? She was one of the girls from my class who attended my old all girl's high-school, now I was in a mixed school. We had been very close Друзья but unfortunately, she discovered my hidden feelings for her. I loved her and I still do, which is why it hurt so much and it still does. Of all people to see me like this, like a man? It wasn't fair for me to go through that kind of humiliation. What if she recognized my face? I thought.

"Louis! Louis come on we'll be late for class!" shouted Ivan at me

"Uh...I,ll be right there Ivan, just...don't wait up okay!" How was I going to get out of this one? I thought. I mean, sure I could avoid her now but how am I supposed to do it forever? Then suddenly it came to me, she was never, ever going to expect that I would be a boy! Why would that even пересекать, крест her mind? I snickered. If I just stayed within a meter away from her, she'd never be able to tell, and I didn't see a reason why we would ever have to talk. I watched the girls, but how could it be? They were dressed differently from me and then suddenly I remembered the uniform wasn't only pants! I saw a шаль of pretty girls drift past me adorned in their pleated ballerina skirts! Oh how my сердце fluttered. And my lady was wearing one of them too.

Up the stairs they went. I smiled. Then suddenly the ground started shaking hard. It was an earthquake! Now I felt frantic. I had to find cover. I went to the boy's room to see if I could find shelter there. On my way there, I saw a little shed and the door was open. Panting heavily, I ran inside and shut the door. I noticed the оранжевый headed kid looking for a place to hide, oh no! I was so scared that I left him outside. I peaked out. There he was, staring in at me, his face flushed from fright. I felt terrible. I ran to the door to try and let him in but the door was stuck. I patted the door and tried the knob over and over again but to no avail. Suddenly the earthquake stopped. My breathing was labored. I flopped by the Стена and closed my eyes, looking up to the heavens.

"Stay there" сказал(-а) Ricky "I'm going to get Ты outa there"

I laughed, but it was a melancholic laugh. "Why would Ты want to help me? I'm just a transgender freak"

He looked at me for a while with pity and then he rolled his eyes and went around the shed. There was a pile of thick wood slabs at the side of the door. He took one and jammed the lock over and over again, finally the whole knob broke off and the door swung open. "Hurry!" he said. He took my hand and helped me out. Soon we were upstairs in class with the others. Class was the least of my worries now. Now I was just savoring my life.

Chapter 4

I could see the teacher there in the front of the class. She was an old, frail woman, dressed in light clothing. She was calling the roll. She'd reached my name as soon as I entered behind Ricky. "Louis" she called.

"Here"

"You sit Далее to her" she said, pointing to the сиденье, место, сиденья in the middle by the window. My сердце dropped. I bet Ты can guess who it was sitting there. It was like even in my dreams I couldn't not avoid the thought of her. I dragged my feet to my seat. Then I flopped in the сиденье, место, сиденья Далее to her. At first I looked the opposite direction, but when she didn't say anything. I eased myself a little and looked forward, propping up with my hands and crouching. I don't remember having to crouch so low down before. Then I took a glance at her through the corner of my eye. Oh my, she was staring at me. It made me feel rather uncomfortable. I looked at her and gave her and gave a sigh of contempt. But she didn't seem to notice my discontent. "Hi handsome" she said

"Hi" I said, tonelessly

"I'm Nisha, who are you?"

"Uh..." I paused "I'm..." I scowled "Louis"

"I'ts nice to meet Ты mr. Louis" she said, biting her lip. She took her hands and placed them on my pants and went deeper and deeper down until she touched my now popping crotch. I gasped. I was inflamed. "Don't Ты remember who I am!" I blurted out, jolting my leg as to bump her hand.

She looked confused. She shook her head, maybe she was a little scared, but I didn't care "Look at me! Don't I look familiar to Ты at all!"

She pulled back. "What school did Ты used to go to?" she asked

"Providence Girls, Catholic School" I looked her in the eye, my eyes were fiery.

All of a sudden a wave of shock hit her like a tidal wave, she fell вперед and threw her hands over her mouth as her eyes widened like white owls. "Cori!" she yelled, with a voice so urgent, so shrill that it scared me. "Cori what did Ты do to yourself?"

I chucked. "You can go ahead and laugh at me if Ты want to. Go tell your Друзья about me, I don't care!" I wasn't looking at her this time. I was facing the blackboard. I promised myself I was going to cuss her out the Далее time I saw her, but that never even crossed my mind. See, she was just a woman, and I was a big strong man, I didn't feel weak anymore, and that's the only reason why I wanted to cuss her out, because I felt weak and less than her. But I knew I could break her like a toothpick at any moment.

"Cori" she said

I looked back around. She sounded concerned. I was confused

"I don't want to laugh at Ты and I don't want to tell my Друзья about you"

"You don't?"

"No...Cori, I'm sorry. I'm for what happened back then. It's just, I was scared, Cori, I was scared and...maybe if I had acted differently, you...wouldn't have..." Her voice stared breaking " done this to yourself" she whispered.

I became overwhelmed with emotion. "It's okay, Yanisha. I'm happy like this, really. This is, what I wanted.

"Really?"

"Yes, It's okay, I'm fine...um, come" I reached out my arms to her and she hugged me. Oh she was so little in my tall body and strong arms that it aroused me. For the first time I felt her breasts against my chest. Ты see, I's harder to feel the breasts when Ты have them. It's strange that I was even able to get aroused, this was definitely any trannie's dream, или a dream, period. I wanted to wake up less and less by each passing moment. We let go of each other. My eyes full of hurt, and hate and hope, for a new beginning even after it had been so long and in her eyes there was deep passion. I felt so strongly for her that I thought I was in Любовь with her, and now we were so close to each other. But how could she want me? How could she want me? Oh but Louis, wrong Вопрос sir...how could Ты want her? After everything you've been through because of her. The months of endless tears and confusion and sorrow, the brokenness, the feelings of betrayal and inferiority, perhaps that was what made me feel so strong for her and not love.

"Louis" she сказал(-а) (she was way ahead of me) we're just Друзья from now on okay? I mean..."

"I know"

"Look I'm glad we did this"

"Me too"

"Cori?"

"Yes?"

"Cori?"

"uh, yeah, I heard Ты the first time, what is it Ты want to tell me?"

"Cori! Cori! Cori!"

All of a sudden, Nisha's voice started sinking deeper and deeper, like a man's voice, a man with a familiar voice. Grandad? I opened my eyes and my whole world disappeared in the blink of an eye. I was in the room again in my grandfather's huge house.

"Yeah?"

"Time to get up! Don't Ты want to finish paint the shed for me? Ты have to wake up early if we want to get the scaffold moved. Wow, Ты really slept girl! Didn't Ты even feel that earthquake that hit us last night? It was strong!"

"Earthquake?"

He just laughed. "And I think Ты left something under your pillow." He winked at me and then handed me back my book.

"Oh" I blushed

"One thing about being a man is, Ты learn not to leave those things lying around" he smiled. I smiled back. I opened to the page I was Чтение before. The part where Ricky, a total goody two shoes ended up at a night club where he met beautiful exotic, black dancer, Ivana. And marking the page was a picture I drew of me and my ex-friend Yanisha, hugging after a long, painful separation, A hug that would have made me feel like she still cared.

The end

Hope Ты enjoyed! :)