Lucifer recap: 'What Would Lucifer Do?' 

Can the devil ditch his devilish ways? Lucifer uses Chloe’s latest case to prove that people can’t change, while at the same time encouraging Amenadiel to shake things up a bit.

We open on Lucifer at the height of his “let’s make a deal” powers, caught in bed with a local judge’s much-younger wife. Clad in said wife’s too-short kimono, Lucifer gets the judge to confess that his true desire is a woman who engages his mind more than his libido.

No problem, Lucifer says. He’ll keep the judge’s new bride, erm, busy while the judge reconnects with his age-appropriate ex-wife, thereby letting both of them reaffirm who they are today by embracing who they used to be. In the end, the judge comes away owing Lucifer a favor, which is impressive negotiating.

Less free with the favors is Marcus, who flatly denies Chloe’s résumé-building request to fill the vacant union rep position. But he does pass along a new murder before booting her out of his office. Watching from the hallway, Ella’s blown away by their sexual chemistry, which (rightly) baffles Chloe.

The murder victim of the week is Emily Goddard, a counselor at Fire Hawk Transformational Center, who was stabbed, resulting in a fall from her second-story window into a horse trough below. The juvenile reform program is run by ex-con/former addict Jerry Blackcrow, who says Emily was beloved by the residents, so the murderer had to have been an outsider.

Jerry believes that rehabilitation is possible for the kids in his care, who earn rewards such as phone time and computer access with their good behavior. Lucifer, skeptical that people can change, openly accuses the assembled Fire Hawk residents of murder, and his hunch seems to bear fruit when a tool belt turns up with the pruning saw missing. The belt belongs to Tyson Chase, who’s been in and out of juvie since he was 7. Fire Hawk was his last chance, but it appears he’s cut and run.

At HQ, Marcus chides Chloe for not making an arrest yet, and after his abrupt departure, Ella makes adorably lewd (lewdly adorable?) gestures that Chloe doesn’t appreciate. When she complains to Dan about Marcus’ treatment of her, he suggests that their boss’s problem might be with her partner. She realizes she shouldn’t cut any corners using Lucifer’s usual methods.

But Lucifer wants to prove that Tyson’s still a criminal. The kid’s juvenile records are sealed, so Lucifer interrupts the judge (who’s busy playing Go Fish with wife No. 1) to call in that favor. Armed with information about Tyson’s past crimes, Lucifer catches the kid stealing a car at his favorite car-stealing spot.

When Tyson says he’d rather die than go back to Fire Hawk, Lucifer calls Tyson’s bluff, taking the kid on the scariest ride of his life that ends with him dangling out of the car over a canyon. He offers to tell Lucifer anything he wants.

Under interrogation, Tyson’s upset to hear about Emily’s death; he recently turned 18 and wanted Emily to leave the ranch with him. The night she died, they fought about her plans to expel a resident for violating the rules.

Dan, Chloe, and Lucifer can’t agree on whether Tyson’s telling the truth, causing Marcus to grump about their lack of consensus and then praise Lucifer as a good influence for threatening Tyson and perhaps scaring him straight.

Naturally, this offends Lucifer, who heads to Fire Hawk to solicit the residents’ true desires: money, drugs, their father’s love, video games, Instagram model. Sensing opportunity, Lucifer rolls a white board into the barn and launches into a lecture about dealing drugs the right way. (He recommends utilizing the Paraguay corridor, FYI.)

One resident, Carly, is unimpressed because she’s already cultivating plenty of marijuana with nothing more than irrigation and a south-facing slope. In no time, Lucifer’s whipped the residents into a well-oiled pot processing machine. He’s surveying their work from the back of a white stallion, making them recite mantras such as “drugs not hugs,” when Chloe walks in.

Okay, let’s leave Lucifer to his implausibly grandiose scheme to turn these kids into drug kingpins and check in on Amenadiel — a.k.a. the best part of the episode. He tells Lucifer about his epiphany with Dr. Linda: Lucifer’s the key to getting his powers back, although he’s not sure if he needs to help him, teach him, or learn from him. “Tell me how to Lucifer,” Amenadiel requests.

A delighted Lucifer prescribes a makeover, starting with Amenadiel smiling more. It’s … not a natural look for him. Lucifer gives Amenadiel free access to his closet and all of his social media accounts, including Insta, Snapchat, and Grindr, concluding, “Just ask: What would Lucifer do?”

That night, Amenadiel puts on his best Lucifer game face and prowls into the club with nary a cardigan sweater in sight. (Does this mean Lucifer’s clothes magically adjust to fit a more swole figure?) For Amen, alas, “What do you desire” works only slightly better than “Guess what? You get to have sex with me!” The night looks like a loss until a woman hands him a napkin to wipe up the drink that gets tossed in his face.

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