posted by Seanthehedgehog
It's time for the Ponyville news. With your news anchors, Double Scoop as Nate Witherspoon, and Heartsong as Hillary Tosh.
Nate: Thank Ты everypony. Thank you. Now quiet on the set!
Hillary: Being a new news company, do expect some foul ups in tonight's broadcast.
Nate: Let's begin with the country of Japan. They had a вулкан erupt last week, which injured forty ponies, and killed seven others.
Hillary: It seems like Япония has been having a lot of bad things happening to them. The volcano, and that tsunami a few years ago, and then there was the bombing of Hiroshima, and Nagasaki.
Nate: Yeah, well they deserved it.
Hillary: Let's Переместить on to the weather.
Nate: Right. Our forecast for this week includes, a nice sunny день for Wednesday, and Thursday. Then, we get a partly cloudy день on Friday, followed by a nonstop thunderstorm on Saturday.
Hillary: It has to stop at sometime.
Nate: Maybe it will, when ponies stop getting scared over it.
Nate: On Sunday, we will have another partly cloudy day, but on Monday, and Tuesday, the shit hits the Фан when it begins to snow.
Hillary: How did Ты figure that out?
Nate: Farmer's almanac. Never lies.
Hillary: And finally, before we Переместить onto commercials, we have a special visitor.
Nate: Coming all the way from the middle east, it's Major General Shayne Diesel.
Blaze is Shayne Diesel.
Audience: *Clapping, and cheering*
Shayne: Thanks for having me here. Any place is better than the Middle East.
Nate: That's what we wanted to talk to Ты about.
Hillary: How are your soldiers doing over there?
Shayne: Not too bad, except for the fact that they're dealing with a new terrorist group called ISIS.
Audience: *Booing* F*ck ISIS!!
Shayne: Don't worry everypony, we will stop them! After all, we are the United States of Equestria!
Nate: *Starts to think that Shayne is being annoying, and becomes sarcastic* Really? I thought this was Japan.
Shayne: Nah, Ты don't wanna be there. They had a вулкан erupt.
Shayne: And I thought Hawaii had вулкан problems!
Hillary: Let's get back on the topic of ISIS.
Shayne: Ah yes, the disgrace to everypony that believes in freedom, and democracy. Freedom is what makes this world spin around!
A song starts to play in the background: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SndPb5XohYM
Shayne: I'm talking about ponies that have a long unnecessary speech about Equestria, and how it's an awesome country while a foreign song plays in the background!
Shayne: And while they're giving that long unnecessary speech about Equestria, and how it's an awesome country while a foreign song plays in the background, Ты see the Equestrian Flag, with stars, and stripes, waving in the wind, and reminding Ты that we are a powerful country!
Then the flag showed up behind Shayne in the background.
Shayne: We are a reminder to ISIS, that we have the toughest army in the world, and we will kill them all!! *Sings along to the song* This is the U.S.E, and we will kill you!
Shayne: Ты tried to attack us, but your attack failed! And now Ты shall pay us the price, for Ты attempting to attack our home!
Shayne: This is the U.S.E, and we will kill you!
Hillary: I think he finally Остаться в живых his mind.
Nate: Me too.
Shayne: *Continues Пение his song*
Nate, and Hillary snuck out of the studio. Shayne didn't notice, for he was too busy Пение his song.
And that's all the time we have for the news. Stop the song!!
Master Sword: Well, that's all the time we have for our Показать today. Thank Ты for watching.
Tom: Master Sword, this is an article. How do Ты watch an article?
Master Sword: I don't know, but the announcer always says, "On The Block was filmed in front of a live audience."
Tom: I see what Ты mean. Well, thank Ты for viewing this. How about that?