"1. Launches himself on a vengeance quest - first thing to do is going to the “eternal kindergarden” where he constantly gets his жопа, попка kicked by a little boy with the yellow bug and his gang.
2. Comes back from Neverland - only to be pushed around by bitchy mother and daughter, and eventually gets Холодное сердце for 28 years.
3. Upon coming back to life, pretends to be a simple blacksmith - gets chained to a дерево by a group of girls.
4. Constantly makes innuendo jokes, hits on each and every female in sight - didn’t get one to actually fall for it.
5. Busies himself making rape jokes to impress the girl he’s sword fighting with - loses the compass, gets punched in the face and rendered unconscious.
6. Gets to Storybrooke, attacks his nemesis’ girlfried - gets hit by a bookshelf and bested by a librarian.
7. Steals the shawl, hides on his ship - found and bested by the same librarian again.
8. Finally faces off with the крокодил - gets his жопа, попка brutally kicked by the guy twice his age with a limp.
9. Makes the ultimate jerk’s Переместить and shoots the woman who saved his life - stands in the middle of the road when the only stranger in 30 years comes to SB, gets hit by his car.
10. Barely healed after the accident - makes innuendo jokes to seduce Snow while her husband is right Далее to her, nearly gets his жопа, попка kicked again.
11. Unites his effortes to find the dagger with the very same bitchy mother and daughter - only to be rendered unconscious and left out again when he’s done all the work."
written by: link