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E_M_LoVeRFaN said:
A newlywed couple moves into their new house. One день the husband comes Главная from work and his wife says, "Honey, Ты know, in the upstairs bathroom one of the pipes is leaking, could Ты fix it?" The husband says, "What do I look like, Mr. Plumber?" A few days go by, and he comes Главная from work and his wife says, "Honey, the car won't start. I think it needs a new battery. Could Ты change it for me?" He says: "What do I look like, Mr. Goodwrench?" Another few days go by, and it's raining pretty hard. The wife finds a leak in the roof. She says, "Honey, there's a leak on the roof! Can Ты please fix it?" He says, "What do I look like, Bob Vila?" The Далее день the husband comes home, and the roof is fixed. So is the plumbing. So is the car. He asks his wife what happened. "Oh, I had a handyman come in and fix them," she says. "Great! How much is that going to cost me?" he snarls. Wife says: "Nothing. He сказал(-а) he'd do it for free if I either baked him a cake или slept with him." "Uh, well, what kind of cake did Ты make?" asks the husband. "What do I look like," she says, "Betty Crocker?"
OR
A guy enters a bar carrying an alligator. Says to the patrons, "Here’s a deal. I'll open this alligator's mouth and place my genitals inside. The gator will close his mouth for one minute, then open it, and I'll remove my unit unscathed. If it works, everyone buys me drinks." The crowd agrees. The guy drops his pants and puts his privates in the gator's mouth. Gator closes mouth. After a minute, the guy grabs a пиво bottle and bangs the gator on the вверх of its head. The gator opens wide, and he removes his genitals unscathed. Everyone buys him drinks. Then he says: "I'll pay anyone $100 who's willing to give it a try." After a while, a hand goes up in the back of the bar. It's a woman. "I'll give it a try," she says, "but Ты have to promise not to hit me on the head with the пиво bottle."
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