Anybody else have those stupid substitutes?

Yes.

One sub for S.S. was like: What are we doing today?

Student #1: T_T
Student #2: Cutting class!
Student #3: Aren't we supposed to have a test?
Class: SHUT UP!
Sub: Oh... well I'll have to find them...
It took the entire period before he found it. XD

does ur normal teacher say that u should her mail friend and give u e-mail i.d.

When I was still in school, I had this substitute who kept calling the calculators "computers".... o.o

Yep. 10th grade in AP World History. There were only 6 of us left in the class (our teacher and the rest of the students were doing Model UN) and this senior guy wrote himself a pass on a sheet of notebook paper IN FRONT OF HER, and she still let him go to "guidance." The kid came back in 30 минуты later with a cup in hand from Wawa, and she didn't say a thing. Moron.

there was this creepy sub that buys underware at yardsales andshe looks kinda snake like and smells like old person and death!

Not that I know of. But I had this one substitute that would always get Ты into trouble for some of the most stupidest reasons. If Ты talked, Ты got in trouble. Even if Ты went to sharpen your pencil without asking, Ты would still get into trouble.