Name the вверх five worst things to say in a job interview.

1.I'm lazy
2.I'm always late
3.I'm clumsy
4.I'm violent
5.I never take a shower

- Soo, what company is this again?
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- I`m sorry, I gotta admit that I`ve added some skills in my CV that I don`t actually have
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- Why do Ты keep asking me all these questions?
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- So, when are Ты going to start paying me?
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- My strongest abilities are eating a lot, drinking whole bottle of пиво in 10 секунды and sleeping for еще than 20 hours.
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this was all random, but I have some job interviews probably coming up in near future, so I`m actually getting nervous when thinking of all the bs that I could possibly tell there. :D

Well don’t worry, I’ve only murdered a few, maybe 3 или 4 people. I consider that quite a asset, don’t you?

I meet Ты wife at the club last week. She’s a hottie, ain’t she? ;) ....wait what do Ты mean? That’s your daughter? Oh I was expecting Ты to be one of those guys who marries young-

-M’am, Sir...whatever Ты are

I’d have to bring my 2 год old to work with me. He gets into to much trouble at daycare. I call him ‘little Jack the Ripper’. It’s this cute thing he does; he tears up any documents he sees.

Эй, dood! Whut up my boss? Yo, so if y’all hire me, I got one thing. I need ta душ here cuz my homies cut the watta bill. And if I stank, I stank. Don’t say nuttin.

Sooo.... I got this gas problem... don’t expect me to apologise. It’s the beans.

Yeah I'll be open for a секунда interview, if I haven't killed myself yet

I'm an ISO 47953466 certified expert on dick operation

What's the women in the workplace like? I like them with the big assets if Ты know what I mean

Haha Ты look like that kid I bullied in high school... Oh, that was you?

Karl Marx was right

1: If this place has a super-strict dress code, my жопа, попка ain’t working here.
2: My boss better not be a dick to me.
3: How many breaks do I get?
4: How much do I get paid?
5: When do I get to leave this shithole and go have an actual life?

-My parents thought I should get a job.
-I was fired from my last job because I would always Показать up late when I was supposed to be working.
-I plan on getting by based on my looks.
-I hope to not be at this job in 5 years.
-I don't like talking to people.

#1: Sorry I'm late, your wife took longer than I expected
#2: I actually hate this place.
#3: Fuck me it's cold outside. Fuck.
#4: Your hot lady.
#5: (burp)