Болталка Club
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1. Go outside, and if Ты see someone, take the Болталка person and make out with him/her, and say: "Yes! I finally got my dramatic Поцелуи scene!"

2. Lay on your stomach in a puddle and scream: "I'm drowning, I'm drowning!"

3. In the pasanger сиденье, место, сиденья of the car, roll your window down, stick your tongue out, soaking the driver: "I wonder why Собаки only do this when its sunny out!" and laugh.

4. Make a farting noise, and say "Hear that thunder roar!"

5. When your outside, run around (reading lyrics) and scream words to Пение in the Rain.

6. Make someone laugh. Then look at them: "Gosh, your face is all wet. Suck it up, stop crying!"

7. Sit outside, and read an old book, and keep yelling "DAMN YOU, SKIES! WHY IS IT SO FUCKING WET HERE!" when your pages get soaked.

8. Gather all the family electronics, and lay them out on the трава on the curb, and let them get all wet.

9. When the family sees say: "I told Ты that (baby sibling/cousin/hated younng person) was evil!

10. Sit on the corner at the sewer, and hold out an empty can of суп with a sign on it "Poor, and Wet," and hope Ты don't get kidnapped.

11. Tell everyone around Ты that rain actually signifies the zombie apocalypse and that the term "acid rain" actually means rain that turns Ты into a zombie. Then put your hand outside the door, или window, and walk like a zombie. (Basically, start a fun/play zombie apocalypse.)

12. Collect all the neighborhood cats/felines and place them outdoors to go insane.

13. Place an empty inflatable pool anywhere outside that Ты can, and watch it fill up. Then place your younger sibling/a friend's younger sibling in it and tell them to go swimming.

14. For any cooking that requires water, place the bowl with all other necessary ingredients in it, let the water fill up, and make somebody nasty baking!

15. Go to the local pool, and bang on the doors because Ты want them to open, because it's so hot outside and Ты need to cool off in the pool.

Also, let me tell Ты that these are in no way ethical, или moral and performing the listed actions Показать a lacking in propriety and maturity. There's no reason to do any of these; they're just immature tactics to LAUGH at. Not attempt.
Have a nice day!
posted by IloveMyLord
Remember, Ты don't forgive someone for his или her sake - Ты forgive them for your sake. (On a side note, I just read that as "sake", the drink. I think that means it's time for me to get some sushi.)

Forgiving doesn't mean forgetting, nor does it mean that you've дана the message that what someone did was okay. It just means that you've let go of the anger или guilt towards someone, или towards yourself. But that can be easier сказал(-а) than done. If forgiveness was easy, everyone would be doing it.



"When Ты hold resentment toward another, Ты are bound to that person или condition by an emotional...
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Okay if someone already made this sorry but I didn't check!So didn't be a сука или a dick which ever gender Ты are!



1.Hang out with friends
2.Make sure your cell phone still works so Ты can call people,text,sext,and play video games
3.Have a video game station
4.Play video games
5.have a computer!
6.Have the internet
7.Have a television
8.Have the remote to it
9.Have cable to it as well(play your bill yah broke loser)
10.Play out side
11.Have Друзья to play out side with
12.Draw all day!
13.Prank call people
14.Obesse over something then a год later get bored
15.Read!-sike real 15.F*ck reading
16.Sleep...
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posted by Wendy99
LITTLE TONY FROM BROOKLYN ON MATH

A teacher asks her class, "If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and Ты shoot one of them, how many will be left ?" She calls on little TONY.

He replies, "None, they will all fly away with the first gunshot."

The teacher replies, "The correct answer is 4, but I like your thinking."

Then little TONY says, "I have a Вопрос for YOU."

"There are 3 women sitting on a bench having ice cream: One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream. The секунда is gobbling down the вверх and sucking the cone. The third is biting off the вверх of the ice cream....
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posted by Usui--takumi
Why was Tigger looking in the bowl??
He was trying to find pooh.
There were three men on an airplane, one of them decides to bring a baby.There is a crash and only three parachutes so they leave the baby behind. When they get to the bottom they hear screaming. They find the baby on the ground. The dad of the baby says, '' How did Ты get down here? ''. The baby replies, '' Me not dumb, me not silly, me hold on to daddy's willy!''
What's black and white, black and white, black and white?
A пингвин rolling down a hill.
Yo momma so fat, when she jumps her own boobs slap her.
Yo momma so dumb AND fat,...
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posted by mandali
A Child's Mind

A child's mind is so soft a clay
mold it to into anything Ты may
it's tender and innocent so, for the moment
let it free to play!

Nothing does it know, of the Life's Dirty Play
For it life is all Bright and Gay
It is True, Sweet and Pure
But the way it is, Let it stay!

For in this world of misery and grief
To my mind is a relief,
that a Temple of Innocence
in the world still does exist!

-Siri Mandali

Hope Ты like it, I've Опубликовано it in my blog too :) - link
posted by MarMar_XigLux
What Being a Retard Online can do for You

Being a retard online will bring Ты riches beyond your wildest dreams, hot girls and above all - attention: Ты crave attention, Ты absorb it like a wet sponge...Ah yes, Ты may very suffer from ADHD but it doesn't matter: no my friend, because by being a retard online Ты can get all the attention Ты need for a small fee.

Poor Literacy is Kool!

If Ты want to be a retard Ты must learn to spell like one, remember kids - poor literacy is cool! First of all we must take a lesson from the Image comics of old and remember that everything must be EXTREME!...
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posted by merlinfanatic
Welcome to The Weakest Link.

Here is a very simple little test comprised of four Вопросы to determine the level of your intellect.
Your Ответы must be spontaneous and immediate, with no deliberating или wasting time.
And NO CHEATING. On your mark, set....GO!!!

1: Ты are competing in a race, and overtake the runner in секунда place.
In which position are Ты now?

Answer:
If Ты answered that you're now coming first then you're completely wrong. Ты overtook the секунда runner and took their place, therefore you're coming second.

For the Далее Вопрос try not to be so dumb.
2 : If Ты overtake the last...
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this is something that was in the news box on yahoo.



New term: mom-zilla. We know all about temporary bridal insanity, and the underreported groom version, but in some families, it’s the parents who are seized by irrational wedding meltdowns.

Last month, 60-year-old British florist and total mom-zilla, Carolyn Bourne attacked. After her stepson’s bride-to-be, Heidi Withers, was a guest in her house she had a thing или two to teach her before she entered the Bourne family.

So Bourne sent the 29-year-old a soul-crushing email. The subject line: “Your lack of manners.” The bullet points...
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posted by kinga10111
Your right lung is smaller than your left lung to make room for your heart.

No piece of square dry paper can be folded еще than 7 times in half!

A group of geese on the ground is a gaggle, a group of geese in the air is a skein!

Over 2500 left handed people a год are killed from using products made for right handed people!

There are еще than 10 million bricks in the Empire State Building!

If Ты counted 24 hours a day, it would take 31,688 years to reach one trillion!

Taphephobia is the fear of being buried alive!

A крокодил always grows new teeth to replace the old teeth!

The sun is 330,330 times...
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posted by karpach_14
My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
Rodney Dangerfield

When a man brings his wife Цветы for no reason, there's a reason.
Molly McGee

Always get married early in the morning. That way, if it doesn't work out, Ты haven't wasted a whole day.
Mickey Rooney

In olden times, sacrifices were made at the altar, a practice that still continues.
Helen Rowland

Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends. Ты order what Ты want, then when Ты see what the other fellow has, Ты wish Ты had ordered that.
Unknown

I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
Rita Rudner
posted by x-menobsessed26
Ты Might be a Child of the 80's If...
You have deep, personal relationships via computers with people you've never met in real life before.


The phrase "going courting", to you, means fighting an unjust traffic ticket или playing tennis.


You know, by heart, the words to any "Weird" Al Yankovic song.


The Brady Bunch movie brought back cool memories.


Songs by Debbie Gibson still haunt Ты to this day.


Three words: "Atari" "IntelliVision" and "Coleco". Sound familiar?


You remember the days when "safe sex" meant "my parents are gone for the weekend".


You remember "Friday Night Videos" before the days of...
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posted by WildTiger
GIrls only (or gay guys..) yea both So Ты have to read this now....haha for girls eyes only here all girls! Эй, girls! IF YOU'RE A BOY, LEAVE THIS CUZ IT RUINS EVERYTHING GIRL TALK: Did Ты know Поцелуи is healthy. It's good to cry. Chicken суп actually makes Ты feel better. 94% of boys would Любовь it if Ты sent them flowers. Lying is actually unhealthy. Only apply mascara to your вверх lashes. It's actually true, boys DO insult Ты when they like you! 89% of guys want Ты to make the 1st move. Ya but 99.99% of girls want guys to make the first move. Шоколад will make Ты feel better! Most...
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posted by happyfreak
A friend of mine has another friend that is addicted to meth. She found this and gave it to her friend. She then gave me a copy because she сказал(-а) it was sad and cared enough to let me know what meth is and does.

This poem was written by a young Indiana girl who was in jail for drug charges, and was addicted to Meth. She wrote this while in jail. As Ты will soon read, she fully grasped the horrors of the drug, as she tells in this simple, yet profound poem. She was released from jail, but, true to her story, the drug owned her. They found her dead not long after, with the needle still in her...
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posted by cute20k
Here are the signs:

1. Tech Support calls "YOU" for help.

2. Someone at work tells Ты a joke and Ты say "LOL".

3. Ты watch TV with the closed captioning turned on.

4. Ты have called out someone's screen name while making Любовь to your significant other.

5. Ты keep begging your Друзья to get an account so "we can hang out".

6. Three words: Carpal Tunnel Syndrome.

7. You've even gotten on an airplane just to meet some folks face-to- face.

8. Ты have to get a 2d phone line just so Ты can call пицца Hut.

9. Ты go into labour and Ты stop to type a special e-mail to let everyone know you're...
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posted by ShiningsTar542
Here's a breakdown of the most searched "real names" on Yahoo! over the past week. Surprisingly!..

1. Martin Sheen real name (Ramon Estevez)

2. Lady Gaga real name (Stefani Germanotta)

3. Triple H real name (Paul Michael Levesque)

4. Meat Loaf real name (Marvin Lee Aday)

5. Nate Dogg real name (Nathaniel Hale)

6. Charlie Sheen real name (Carlos Estevez)

7. розовый real name (Alecia Moore)

8. Nicki Minaj real name (Onika Tanya Maraj)

9. Judy Garland real name (Frances Ethel Gumm)

10. Flo Rida real name (Tramar Dillard)

11. Miley Cyrus birth name (Destiny Hope Cyrus)

12. Katy Perry real name (Katheryn Hudson)...
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Dear Noah, We could've sworn Ты сказал(-а) the ark wasn't leaving until 5. Sincerely, the Unicorns.

---

Airlines have banned passengers from taking tweezers on board... Anybody who can hijack a plane using a set of tweezers deserves the freakin plane.

---

The guy who puts down Собаки at animal shelters must not get alot of women. "And what do Ты do for a living?" "...I kill puppies."

---

Do Ты know what happens to 100% of people who eat carrots? THEY DIE.

---

The worst time to have a сердце attack is during a game of charades.

---

You cannot bring sexy back without a receipt.

---

"Want to play the rape game?"...
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posted by karpach_13
101 FUN THINGS TO DO AT WAL-MART

1. Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them
and stranding them at strategic locations.

2. Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store.

3. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten минута intervals
throughout the day.

4. Start playing Calvinball; see how many people Ты can get
to Присоединиться in.

5. Contaminate the entire auto department by sampling all the
spray air fresheners.

6. Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap.

7. Leave cryptic messages on the typewriters.

8. Re-dress the mannequins as Ты see fit.

9. When there are...
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posted by karpach_13
New ways to order pizza
Are Ты tired of always ordering пицца the same way? Well, this lists will keep Ты entertained for over 90 пицца orders!!!

1. Order two toppings, then say, "No, they'll start fighting."

2. Learn to properly pronounce the ingredients of a Twinkie. Ask that these be included in the pizza.

3. Use CB lingo where applicable.

4. Order a Big Mac Extra Value Meal.

5. Terminate the call with, "Remember, we never had this conversation."

6. Tell the order taker a rival пицца place is on the other line and you're going with the lowest bidder.

7. Give them your address, exclaim "Oh,...
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added by haremaster99
added by DrainMe