“ Killing someone with a spoon is not bad, but I prefer the chainsaw it's faster.”
~ Serial Killer on spoons
Ты found out Ты hate someone. No, not just hate. Ты FUCKING hate them. No, not just FUCKING hate them, Ты wanna strangle them until their head pops off then shove it down the loo but then it'll go into the sewers and then the police/the fuzz/cops/pigs/gorillas will be like, all, "omfg wutt iz goin on why iz der a hed in me toilet" and then they'll find you're fingerprint on them and be all "haha we fund woo it was it was [insert name here] and then Ты be like "omgomgomg" and then Ты get into prison and then rot there and turn into a ghost and the only thing Ты can do is go onto Uncyclopedia and look up how to kill people with Spoons.
Not that I would know, of course.
But Ты Любовь Spoons. Spoons are sexy. Someone is not. Someone out there is NOT sexy. Whether that's you, yourself, или maybe perhaps YOU, That someone shall be your victim. And your victim Shall die... BY SPOON.
STEP ONE
1) First, Ты need a good Spoon...like a big суп Spoon. 2) Find the person Ты hate / или someone that Ты want to kill with the Spoon! 3) Make sure Ты take them somewhere secret where no-one can hear them screaming. 4) Duct tape their mouth and hands together, but don't forget to duct tape their legs together in case they try to run! 5) start threatening them that your gonna hurt their kitten!
STEP TWO
Learn the ancient art of Tai-Spong.
For many thousands of years, Buddhist monks in the Shaolin temple had denied their existence. They will always say "There is no Spoon", but this was a diversion to hide the terrible truth, of the deadly art of Tai-Spong. Of course, Tai-Spong doesn't actually matter, only whether Ты hate that someone или not. But Ты do hate them. That's why Ты are killing them...with a Spoon.
STEP THREE
Know your victim:
* How much do they weigh?
* Is he/she physically fit?
* Is it Tuesday?
* Do Ты own a kitten?
* Do Ты like honey?
* How far away are Ты from the moon?
* Do they have a family?
* Do Ты have a family?
* Why don't Ты have a family?
Of course, none of these Вопросы actually matter, only whether Ты hate that someone или not. But Ты do hate them. That's why Ты are killing them...with a Spoon.
STEP FOUR
Ты need to choose your weapon (see step 1) and practice with it (ask the hospitals for a free corpse to train on или just find a daycare, and use a sleeping child). Ты need to sneak up on your victim (when he is masturbating или taking a bath или something like that) And of course:Atttaaaaackkk!!!
~ Serial Killer on spoons
Ты found out Ты hate someone. No, not just hate. Ты FUCKING hate them. No, not just FUCKING hate them, Ты wanna strangle them until their head pops off then shove it down the loo but then it'll go into the sewers and then the police/the fuzz/cops/pigs/gorillas will be like, all, "omfg wutt iz goin on why iz der a hed in me toilet" and then they'll find you're fingerprint on them and be all "haha we fund woo it was it was [insert name here] and then Ты be like "omgomgomg" and then Ты get into prison and then rot there and turn into a ghost and the only thing Ты can do is go onto Uncyclopedia and look up how to kill people with Spoons.
Not that I would know, of course.
But Ты Любовь Spoons. Spoons are sexy. Someone is not. Someone out there is NOT sexy. Whether that's you, yourself, или maybe perhaps YOU, That someone shall be your victim. And your victim Shall die... BY SPOON.
STEP ONE
1) First, Ты need a good Spoon...like a big суп Spoon. 2) Find the person Ты hate / или someone that Ты want to kill with the Spoon! 3) Make sure Ты take them somewhere secret where no-one can hear them screaming. 4) Duct tape their mouth and hands together, but don't forget to duct tape their legs together in case they try to run! 5) start threatening them that your gonna hurt their kitten!
STEP TWO
Learn the ancient art of Tai-Spong.
For many thousands of years, Buddhist monks in the Shaolin temple had denied their existence. They will always say "There is no Spoon", but this was a diversion to hide the terrible truth, of the deadly art of Tai-Spong. Of course, Tai-Spong doesn't actually matter, only whether Ты hate that someone или not. But Ты do hate them. That's why Ты are killing them...with a Spoon.
STEP THREE
Know your victim:
* How much do they weigh?
* Is he/she physically fit?
* Is it Tuesday?
* Do Ты own a kitten?
* Do Ты like honey?
* How far away are Ты from the moon?
* Do they have a family?
* Do Ты have a family?
* Why don't Ты have a family?
Of course, none of these Вопросы actually matter, only whether Ты hate that someone или not. But Ты do hate them. That's why Ты are killing them...with a Spoon.
STEP FOUR
Ты need to choose your weapon (see step 1) and practice with it (ask the hospitals for a free corpse to train on или just find a daycare, and use a sleeping child). Ты need to sneak up on your victim (when he is masturbating или taking a bath или something like that) And of course:Atttaaaaackkk!!!
10) cuz they are cool (literally), i mean, they live on ice flows
9) flying is overrated anyway
8) dude, they can swim!
7) they waddle
6) they're always dressed for the occasion
5) the guys care for the eggs (awww! devoted daddies)
4) they upchuck their Еда (and they don't think it's gross)
3) they waddle...oh, i already put that, didn't i?
2) they have a tv show! (the penguins of madagascar)
1) because they are PENGUINS!!!! nuff said
Ok so me and my friend Любовь the mall but what makes it еще fun are the following
-When your Остаться в живых looking for a store ask them in a british accents! here's an example "Pardon me, could Ты please point me in the direction of ______" (if u are british do it in a differnt accent like american austraian ect.)
-When Ты go into a store adress your friend by a differnt name and have a weird personality
-if Ты go into one of those store that plays the Музыка REALLY loud, sing along like there's nobody else in the store but Ты and ur friend.
-Have weird conversations about Болталка things. like terrorists или something
Have fun with Друзья at the mall!
-When your Остаться в живых looking for a store ask them in a british accents! here's an example "Pardon me, could Ты please point me in the direction of ______" (if u are british do it in a differnt accent like american austraian ect.)
-When Ты go into a store adress your friend by a differnt name and have a weird personality
-if Ты go into one of those store that plays the Музыка REALLY loud, sing along like there's nobody else in the store but Ты and ur friend.
-Have weird conversations about Болталка things. like terrorists или something
Have fun with Друзья at the mall!