Болталка Club
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It was Wednesday afternoon,momma was trying on her dress when I got home
Jenna:(Turns around)What do Ты think?Too much?
Skeeter:Too much of everything?
Jenna:(Looks in mirror)Good lord!!You're right!
Skeeter:Mom...mom...
Jenna:Don't this just look beautiful?
Skeeter:Yeah,it looks divine.Now mom
Jenna:It's beautiful!Don't Ты think-
Skeeter:MOM!!CAN I TELL Ты SOMETHING?
Jenna:Why 'course!
Skeeter:I gotta job today!I'm gonna be a author!
Jenna:Skeeter!!!You know how I feel 'bout those authors!
Skeeter:MOM!I want to do this!!This is what I need to do!I'm ready to do this!!!
Jenna:Really?Then what is it 'bout?
Skeeter:Maids!Maid's Point of view!Just so people stop yelling at them!!!!Okay??(Stomps out)
Jenna:SKEETER!!SKEETER JOHNSON!!
Skeeter:Stop mom!I know when I am grown up!So will Ты stop with all this stupid dresses!And just...Um...er...STOP!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I ran outta that house like it was a пересекать, крест country race!I ran to Maybelle's house 'cause her party was still going on

Elie:Maybelle,Is a Godless woman!
Faith:If only I could tell her that!
Maybelle:FAITH!GET ME A COKE-LA-COLA!
Faith:Yes Ma'am.
Elie:You just gonna let that gutless woman boss Ты around?
Faith:I have to!
Elie:No Ты don't!I'm sick o' this Da** job!I want to leave!But Since I can't,I try to make sure she don't boss me!Now Ты get that drink,but make it like she was Your mother!
Faith:Yes Ma'am!

Maybelle:Hurry up will that stupid drink FAITH!!!
Faith:Here!
Maybelle:It's about time Ты worthless maid!
Skeeter:MAYBELLE!You have no reason to yell at that nice young lady!!
Maybelle:Oh yes I do!She is black!
Skeeter:THAT'S IT!YOU PUSHED IT FAR ENOUGH!I will not let Ты yell at her!!Now SHUT THE HE** UP!!!!!
Maybelle:You don't talk to me like that!!I am in charge!!!
Skeeter:You may be in charge but I know when I should stand up to you!
Maybelle:Get Ты as* down Ты piece of sh**!!!




LATER THAT SAME DAY:
Faith:Oh,Ms Skeeter!I just wanted to thank Ты for sticking up for me!If there is anything in the world I can do for you!I would!
Skeeter:Anything?
posted by fly210
I bet Ты can't keep up with this oneshot.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I was walking down the road when I triped on a napkin. I know. a napkin right? but it was a wet napkin and for some reson my sidewalk is made of tial. so I slid on the napkin and bumped into the worst thing ever. Barney. Why barney was there I don't know. Barney started Пение so I shot him. But then cops came. But they giggled like little girls and shot barney them selfs. They then сказал(-а) they would give me a ride. but then I found out one of the cops was that like 12 год old boy who drove the car in rebecca...
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1.    When a stranger helps me pick up something I accidentally dropped
2.    When the DJ plays a song I requested
3.    Reading my old diaries/journals
4.    Hearing good results from the dentist
5.    Coming Главная after being away for a while
6.    The fresh feeling after I wash my face
7.    Getting in line before it gets long
8.    Being in the car while its going through an electric car wash
9.    Finding out your having...
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I was scrolling across deviantART, and came across this HIGHLY shocking news that everyone needs to know about right now!

We all know about copyright infringement and the numerous laws preventing us from using copyrighted material. Some sites and companies take these things very seriously if Ты do not have permission from сказал(-а) company. But there are sites and companies that's only ask that Ты give credit where credit is due. Thankfully like DA.

Now, over the past few days I have just been strolling thru the Internet, visiting some of my fav sites to chill on, and every site has been posting...
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posted by kinga10111
..... Болталка Facts .....

If Ты have 3 quarters, 4 dimes, and 4 pennies, Ты have $1.19. Ты also have the largest amount of money in coins without being able to make change for a dollar.
The numbers '172' can be found on the back of the U.S. $5 dollar bill in the bushes at the base of the линкольн Memorial.


President Kennedy was the fastest Болталка speaker in the world with upwards of 350 words per minute.


In the average lifetime, a person will walk the equivalent of 5 times around the equator.


Odontophobia is the fear of teeth.


The 57 on Heinz ketchup bottles represents the number of varieties...
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posted by Thecharliejay
100 Ways to Annoy People
1.Get to know a Друзья bookie and place bets for them. Insist on keeping half of any money they win.
2.Accuse people of "glue sniffing addictions" in public.
3.Call other people "Champ" или "Tiger.". Refer to yourself as "Coach."
4.Drum on every available surface.
5.Sing the Бэтмен theme incessantly.
6.Staple papers together in the middle of the page.
7.Ask 1-800 operators for dates.
8.Produce a rental video consisting entirely of dire FBI copy warnings.
9.Sew anti-theft detector strips into people's backpacks.
10.Hide dairy products in inaccessible places.
11.Insist on giving...
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posted by chattycandy
Guys don't actually look after good-looking girls. They prefer neat and presentable girls.

Guys hate flirts.

A guy can like Ты for a minute, and then forget Ты afterwards.

When a guy says he doesn't understand you, it simply means you're not thinking the way he is.

"Are Ты doing something?" или "Have Ты eaten already?" are the first usual Вопросы a guy asks on the phone just to get out from stammering.

Guys may be flirting around all день but before they go to sleep, they always think about the girl they truly care about.

When a guy really likes you, he'll disregard all your bad characteristics....
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posted by lloonny
1. Chuck Norris does not wear a condom. Because there is no such thing as protection from Chuck Norris.
2. Some people wear Супермен pajamas. Супермен wears Chuck Norris pajamas
3. Chuck Norris will never have a сердце attack. His сердце isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.
4. If at first Ты don't succeed, you're not Chuck Norris.
5. Chuck Norris can set ants on огонь with a magnifying glass. At night.
6. Chuck Norris doesn't breathe, he holds air hostage.
7. Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
8. They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody.
9....
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posted by x-menobsessed26
Useful Hawaiian Phrases
On the Plane
My how your perfume fills the entire cabin!
'A'ala maoli keia wahi o kakou i kau wai 'ala kuikawa!


If I snore, I would like to apologize in advance
Ke nono au, e kala mua mai, i keia manawa ho'i.


I am filled with admiration for my in-flight meal
Kahaha ko'u na'au i ke 'ano o ka mea 'ai ma keia mokulele.


Only six dollars for a headset? Why thats only three dollars per ear!
Eono kala no ka ho'olohe lekio? 'O ia ho'i, 'ekolu wale no kala o kahi pepeiao!


Baby, Severe Turbulance is my middle name
E ku'u kumu e, mai hopohopo, ua kapa 'ia ko'u inoa waena, 'o ia 'o Severe...
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posted by x-menobsessed26
Ты Might be a Child of the 80's If...
You have deep, personal relationships via computers with people you've never met in real life before.


The phrase "going courting", to you, means fighting an unjust traffic ticket или playing tennis.


You know, by heart, the words to any "Weird" Al Yankovic song.


The Brady Bunch movie brought back cool memories.


Songs by Debbie Gibson still haunt Ты to this day.


Three words: "Atari" "IntelliVision" and "Coleco". Sound familiar?


You remember the days when "safe sex" meant "my parents are gone for the weekend".


You remember "Friday Night Videos" before the days of...
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posted by yukikiyruu
Sleeping Beauty: Perfect for the sleepyheads.
Dolly Wholly: This name is perfect for the well-dressed girl.
Honey Bunny: Ideal for your playful girlfriend.
Cutsie Wootsie: This cute name is excellent to say when Ты are pinching her cheeks with both hands.
Pretty Eyes: If your girlfriend has crystal-clear, beautiful eyes, then Ты may call her by this cute name.
Princess: It is a perfect name for your girlfriend, if she has that little girl spirit.
Pumpkin: This name can be used for casual moments.
Doll Face: This name is perfect for a girl with a cute face.
Beautiful: It is a simple but effective...
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posted by TruBerries
Reminder: Please don't misunderstand my tone when I write things. If I were being smart или yelling, I'd be killing the Трофеи right now(lol) but I'm just being real. That's just who I am.

All right, it seems as though every месяц there's someone posting a picture of themselves in a Вопрос asking 'am I pretty', 'rate me from 1-10', или whatever and I must admit, it's extremely annoying. Fanpop is not the place to be posting pictures of yourselves on here knowing that everyone's Профиль is vulnerable for the taking. I mean it's your decision if Ты want to do that, but I believe it's not safe...
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1. Go to www.google.com and look up funny things that most people would hate.
2. Draw on Justin Beibers face.(french guy, hearts, ect.)
3. sit and watch tv then call ur friend and tell her every detail of what u were watching. dont forget quotes.
4. Yell at a sibling then scream across the house to ur mom tht ur sibling yelled @ u bcuz u called her a midget.
5. Scream to ur friend that Ты had fun in Montanna and that uve nvr been there.
6. Run around thhe neighborhood until u get dizzy
7. Look up how to play a sport u have no interest in then tell ur parents all about the sport and say u dont like it. then change ur mind and ssay Ты Любовь it. then change it again and do that untill your parents get anoyed.
8. Tell ur sister или brother that she/he's a brat then give them a hug.
9.scream to the computer that u miss your dad. even if he's standing right there.
10. tell justin beiber's pic on the internet that he's a jerk, then apologize.
posted by spunkyonyx
If Ты have 3 quarters, 4 dimes, and 4 pennies, Ты have $1.19. Ты also have the largest amount of money in coins without being able to make change for a dollar.

The numbers '172' can be found on the back of the U.S. $5 dollar bill in the bushes at the base of the линкольн Memorial.

President Kennedy was the fastest Болталка speaker in the world with upwards of 350 words per minute.

In the average lifetime, a person will walk the equivalent of 5 times around the equator.

Odontophobia is the fear of teeth.

The 57 on Heinz ketchup bottles represents the number of varieties of pickles the company once...
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posted by coolkatstar
Below are 4 questions. Answer them instantly. Ты can't take your time. Answer them immediately. No pencil или paper! OK?

Let's find out just how smart and clever Ты really are.

Ready? ...

GO!!!


FIRST QUESTION: Ты are participating in a race. Ты overtake the секунда person. What position are Ты in?
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-

ANSWER: If Ты answer that Ты are first, then Ты are absolutely wrong! If Ты overtake the секунда person and Ты take his place, Ты are second! Try not to screw up in the Далее question.

To answer the секунда question, don't take as much
time as Ты took for the first question.

SECOND...
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posted by cute20k
Here are the signs:

1. Tech Support calls "YOU" for help.

2. Someone at work tells Ты a joke and Ты say "LOL".

3. Ты watch TV with the closed captioning turned on.

4. Ты have called out someone's screen name while making Любовь to your significant other.

5. Ты keep begging your Друзья to get an account so "we can hang out".

6. Three words: Carpal Tunnel Syndrome.

7. You've even gotten on an airplane just to meet some folks face-to- face.

8. Ты have to get a 2d phone line just so Ты can call пицца Hut.

9. Ты go into labour and Ты stop to type a special e-mail to let everyone know you're...
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posted by spunkyonyx
Эй, guys, found some interesting and strange facts, some are just facts I have known a long time ago(school, wandering around websites), others are ones that I have found, I apply the Источник if available. Any others Ты may want to add up feel free to do so. Enjoy!

1) Coca-cola was once green.
It was green because it was accidentally carbonated when a clerk squirted syrup into the wrong glass.

2)Barbie doll measurements if she were life size: 39-23-33. Wow... she's cut from the team.

3)Intelligent people have еще zinc and copper in their hair. *Checks... Woot!

4)You blink about 84 million times...
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Here with me, I’ve got 99 facts!

Guys don’t actually look after good-looking girls. they prefer neat and presentable girls.
Guys hate other flirts.
A guy can like Ты for a minute, and then forget Ты afterwards.
When a guy says he doesn’t understand you, it simply means you’re not thinking the way he is.
Are Ты doing something?” или “Have Ты eaten already?” are the first usual Вопросы a guy asks on the phone just to get out from stammering.
Guys may be flirting around all день but before they go to sleep, they always think about the girl they truly care about.
When a guy really likes...
continue reading...
posted by invadercalliope
Ok today i'm going to tell Ты a story!
Mrs.green: Class today is friday and this is your last peried but still doesn't give Ты the right to slack off! ARE WE CLEAR!
Class: YES MA'AM!
Cheral:Hi i'm Cheral this is my class i'm in the seventh grade and it's been a fun year!
Tabbi:Hi i'm new in the class i have only been here for a week and it's been fun! my rival here is cheral we sometimes have a fight with umm braging in it it's a never win или lose fight its one of those that Ты hate.
Cheral:Do Ты have that one girl that Ты don't like naturaly its not that we figght about whose better its that...
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posted by ilovezuko23
7 Things to do when Ты want to get kicked out of the DMV. By Misery.

Pretend to be looking at a magazine, and start poking the guy Далее to you.

Tap your foot to the tune of 'Gramma Got Ran Over By a Reindeer.'

Burst out into song. Sing 'Umbrella' until one of the people Далее to Ты look at Ты funny. Get up,take their hands, and start spinning the person around the waiting room.

Start saying your number softly for 6 times, then louder for 5 times, and then yell it out 9 times into the person on your right's ear.

Start speaking your own tounge. Make up a language and find an old lady. Sit down Далее to her, and start speaking your made up languge using frightening gestures.

Start quoting your Избранное Показать the security guard.

Take out your iPod, and start belting out the first song that plays. Jump onto the table, and do a big Показать number. When the last word plays, do jazz hands and RUN out of the DMV.
Ok this is what i do when i like a boy so just saying NOT AN EXPERT!if some of Ты do the same thing say so in your comments. if this helps Ты guys, GREAT! if anyone has any Вопросы most likely i will be еще than happy to help ok here it goes.....ps dont make fun of my spelling ok NOW here it goes.....
1)i twirl my hair between my fingers
2)i constantly look at them (corner of my eye not ful-on-makes-you-think-im-a-stalker-chick look)yet when they are talking to me i act shy and look at their shoes
3)i laugh even when they're jokes are stupid
4)i get real nervous when they are around and act...
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