My suicide note that I threw away cuz of my awesome Друзья and life I wanted to keep.
To the friends, I call my family,
By the time Ты read this letter, I will be only a faded memory.
A corpse on the cold bathroom floor.
It is too late for me now, and I know it.
Even as I write this letter I can feel the life draining out of me.
But I feel it, so that's something, right?
I have been dead for a while now, though Ты may not have noticed.
I died the night I couldn't Любовь you, my love.
I loved Ты with everything.
My heart, my body and soul.
I am sorry I wasn't good enough for you.
At least you're happy.
I went numb, and ceased to feel.
Ceased to be.
That was when I first cut.
I just needed to feel something.
After a while it wasn't enough.
I thought if I cut deeper and spilled еще of my blood I would at least make me feel alive.
It worked for a while, but in the end it just left me hollower than before.
I tried to keep it together, for my family, but Ты know something?
Ты don't need me any more.
None of Ты do.
I just cause Ты еще pain and suffering than I'm worth.
Because I lied.
I am not Raven.
I am nothing without you.
Ты don't need me.
None of Ты do.
How can I take care of a family when I can't take care of myself?
I used to be able to, before this all started.
I just can't remember how anymore.
I sit here and remember the fight we had.
Ты told me to leave and the words Ты used cut me еще than any blade ever did.
I am going now.
I feel so tired, my vision is becoming blurred, and I know I must go soon, but wait.
There is some wisdom I still need to depart on you.
The last order I shall give Ты is the one to do what Ты want.
I was only trying to protect Ты all.
I am sorry.
I won't do it again.
I was a bad leader.
I know it.
So, do what Ты want, and maybe you'll see why I was the way I was.
Whitney, my baby.
Go off make the world better...
Go be yourself, and be happy.
Go make me proud.
Twan, my brother.
Go be the person Ты want to be.
Go blow up things.
Go give away your life.
Go and accidentally kill yourself или someone Ты Любовь and see how it feels to be a murder.
Like I am.
Ducky, my little sister.
Go draw attention to yourself.
Go tell every stranger Ты meet that Ты are happy, and heck, hug them.
Go get laughed at, screamed at, go get called a freak.
Go be happy about being a freak, my freak.
People don't like things that are different.
I learned that the hard way, and tried to shield Ты from it, but maybe I was wrong to do so.
Fang, damn it I Любовь you.
Go be the person who other people depend on for every little thing.
Mel, my freaking OC, and mother figure.
I want someone to hold me.
I want my sissy to hold me.
I want Fang to hold me.
I want my brother to hold me
I want my Mom to hold me.
Then you'll really be alone like Ты always wanted to be, and whose fault will it be? Not mine, that's for sure.
That's why I'm leaving.
I want out.
I can't take it anymore.
I need a break.
I need to be free.
I loved Ты guys all with all my heart.
I hope you're happy together.
All I can say is that I tried.
It was too hard.
My little sister,
My crazy mother figure,
And my best friend, my imaginary right-hand-man, the only person I ever truly loved, Fang.
I wish I could see your faces one еще time, but it's too late for me.
The darkness is creeping in around me.
Don't cry for me, I was already dead.
I just need Ты to know that everything I did, I did for you.
All of you.
Ты can't catch me this time...
You can't save me...
But Ты can let me go....