1. At the movies: When Ты meet acquaintances/ friends.. .
Stupid Question:-
Hey, what are Ты doing here?
Answer:-
Dont u know, I sell tickets in black over here..

2. In the bus: A heavy lady wearing pointed high-heeled shoes steps on your feet…
Stupid Question:-
Sorry, did that hurt?
Answer:-
No, not at all, I’m on local anesthesia.. …why don’t Ты try again.

3. At a funeral: One of the teary-eyed people ask…
Stupid Question:-
Why, why him, of all people.
Answer:-
Why? Would it rather have been you?

4. At a restaurant: When Ты ask the waiter
Stupid Question:-
Is ! the “Butter Paneer Masala” dish good??
Answer:-
No, its terrible and made of adulterated cement. We occassionaly also spit in it.

5. At a family get-together: When some distant aunt meets Ты after years…
Stupid Question:-
Munna, Chickoo, you’ve become so big.
Answer:-
Well Ты haven’t particularly s hr unk yourself.

6. When a friend announces her wedding, and Ты ask…
Stupid Question:-
Is the guy you’re marrying good?
Answer:-
No,he’s a miserable wife-beating , insensitive lout….it’s just the money.

7. When Ты get woken up at midnight by a phone call…
Stupid Question:-
Sorry. were Ты sleeping?
Answer:-
No. I was doing research on whether the Zulu tribes in Africa marry или not. Ты thought I was sleeping…. Ты dumb witted moron.

8. When Ты see a friend/colleague with evidently shorter hair…
Stupid Question:-
Эй, have Ты had a haircut?
Answer:-
No, its autumn and I’m shedding…. …

9. At the dentist when he’s sticking pointed objects in your mouth…
Stupid Question:-
Tell me if it hurts?
Answer:-
No it wont. It will just bleed.

10.. Ты are smoking a cigarette and a cute woman asks…
Stupid Question:-
Oh, so Ты smoke.
Answer:-
Gosh, it’s a miracle …….it was a piece of chalk and now it’s in flames!!!