1. We aren’t mind readers!
2. We are not to be used as pawns in trying to make your girlfriends jealous.
3. When Ты sleep over never boss me around in постель, кровати unless it is during sex.
4. Smoking is the biggest turn off.
5. It never hurts to work out.
6. If Ты don’t want to hear the truth, don’t ask the question.
7. “Fine” или “whatever” is not an appropriate ending to a conversation.
8. If Ты want sex, just ask. (In case Ты didn’t already know.)
9. Don’t expect guys to say as many sweet things as they do in the movies. (It takes a lot of guys and their wives to come up with those scripts).
10. Only Модели are able to wear most of the stuff Ты see in fashion magazines.
11. No guy will complain if he comes Главная and sees Ты in one of the following outfits: French Maid, School girl, bunny, или just plain naked.
12. Ты don’t need Белье to look sexy before bed, short cotton shorts and a tank вверх are fine by us.
13. Girls look good naked so stop worrying.
14. Sharing your deepest feelings in no way guarantees reciprocity.
15. We are all kinky and willing to try anything that Ты may enjoy, just let us know.
16. Every so often no matter whether it is true или not remind us that we have the biggest penis you’ve ever dealt with.
17. If were not getting Любовь we’ll start looking…(haha…just kidding…psych…I’m dead serious)
18. The greatest thing ever is to watch a girl touch herself.
19. Most of the time when I fantasize it is about another person.
20. If you, the girl, make out with another girl we won’t consider it cheating. Actually we strongly promote this behavior.
21. Your hair is like 14 inches long, how are we supposed to notice a quarter inch missing.
22. Ты shouldn’t be flattered или grossed out if we get an erection when dancing with you. All we need is Friction.
23. Porn…hmmm…Porn. Watching porn is like breathing it would just be wrong to ask us to stop.
24. We masturbate, usually еще when we are in a relationship, can’t explain it but it is just fact.
25. Blue balls are not sporting equipment. Didn’t your parents teach Ты not to quit.
26. Giving head is never a bad idea.
27. We are conservationists at heart, water is our biggest love, so душ with us.
28. There are three acceptable ways to wake up: (1) Ты on вверх of us. (2) Getting head. (3) Some sort of breakfast.
29. We don’t mind going to gay Фильмы with Ты but don’t tell our friends.
30. Ты can’t hold it against us if we cry after sports Фильмы или “Old yeller.”
31. “The game is on” is an acceptable excuse to avoid any serious conversation.
32. Any harsh contact with the testicles should be assumed a serious injury but soft caresses are strongly encouraged.
33. You’re probably not as funny as Ты think.
34. Brad Pitt is probably a cool guy but if I hear one еще girl say “he’s so hot” he may have to die.
35. Your period should be referred to as Blowjob week. (Influenced by a Maxim article)
36. Cooking makes a girl that much еще attractive especially if she can use a grill.
37. Ты can’t get mad if we refuse to hook up your “ugly friend” with one of our friends.
38. For every fart that slips out when Ты are around we successfully hold in about 15, enduring excruciating pain to do this.
39. If we want to take naked pictures of Ты it is because we are proud and want to Показать Ты off to our friends.
40. The red light means the video camera is off.
41. A guy should be considered sensitive if he asks whether Ты want to do it with the lights on или off.
42. Whip cream and Шоколад syrup are not just condiments for ice cream also Altoids just don’t make your breath fresher.
43. Nothing Ты will ever do will entitle Ты to operate the remote control. (Unless operating means handing it to us.)
44. The only thing left to be сказал(-а) after sex is “goodnight.”
45. Video games have helped us develop such finger skills that should only encourage us to play еще often.
46. Critiquing our driving is only секунда to critiquing our Любовь making.
47. Guys nights out are sacred events. If we answer Вопросы we could be castrated.
48. If Ты ask us to go shopping Ты have to at least entertain the idea of having sex in a changing room.
49. The jeans don’t make your жопа, попка look fat. Your fat жопа, попка makes your жопа, попка look fat.
50. 99.5% of the time we didn’t mean to hurt you.