i didn't write this
1 - Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
2 - If Ты had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be "meetings."
3 - There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."
4 - People who want to share their religious Просмотры with Ты almost never want Ты to share yours with them.
5 - Ты should not confuse your career with your life.
6 - Nobody cares if Ты can't dance well. Just get up and dance.
7 - Never lick a стейк knife.
8 - The most destructive force in the universe is gossip.
9 - Ты will never find anybody who can give Ты a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time.
10 - Ты should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that Ты think she's pregnant unless Ты can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.
11 - There comes a time when Ты should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age eleven.
12 - The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status или ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above average drivers.
13 - A person who is nice to Ты but rude to a waiter, is not a nice person. (This is very important. Pay attention. It never fails.)
14 - Your Друзья Любовь Ты anyway.
15 - Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic.
16 - Thought for the day: Men are like fine wine. They start out as grapes, and it's up to the women to stomp the c*** (not the best) out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have ужин with.
17 - A husband will never get the last word in an argument, due to the fact that anything he says is actually the start of an entirely new argument!
18 - Phrases to live by "Please, Thank you, and YES DEAR!"
19 - I believe in equality and women's lib......but instead of changing postman to post person, how about tackling........menstruation, mental illness, menopause, etc......it seems to me that we are picking only the nice ones to change!