*again from the internet not my own**
1.Men like to barbecue. Men will cook if danger is involved.
2.Men who have pierced ears are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and have bought jewelry.
3.Marrying a divorced man is ecologically responsible. In a world where there are еще women than men, it pays to recycle.
4.Men are very confident people. My husband is so confident that when he watches sports on television, he thinks that if he concentrates he can help his team. If the team is in trouble, he coaches the players from our living room, and if they're really in trouble, I have to get off the phone in case they call him.
5.Men like phones with lots of buttons. It makes them feel important.
6.Men Любовь to be the first to read the newspaper in the morning. Not being the first is upsetting to their psyches.
7.All men are afraid of eyelash curlers. I sleep with one under my подушка instead of a gun.
8.A good place to meet a man is at the dry cleaner. These men usually have jobs and bathe.
9.All men hate to hear "We need to talk about our relationship." These seven words strike fear into the сердце of even General Schwartzkopf.
10.Men are sensitive in strange ways. If a man has built a огонь and the last log does not burn, he will take it personally.
11.Men have an easier time buying bathing suits. Women have two types: depressing and еще depressing. Men have two types: nerdy and nerdy
12.Men have higher body temperatures than women. If your heating goes out in winter, I recommend sleeping Далее to a man. Men are like portable heaters that snore.
13.Women take clothing much еще seriously than men. I've never seen a man walk into a party and say, "Oh, my God, I'm so embarrased. Get me out of here. There's another man wearing a black tuxedo."
14.Most men hate to shop. That's why the men's department is usually on the first floor, two inches from the door.
15.If a man prepares ужин for Ты and the салат contains three или еще types of lettuce, he is serious.
16.If you're dating a man who Ты think might be "Mr. Right" because he
◦got older,
◦got a new job, или
◦visited a psychiatrist,
Ты are in for a nasty surprise. The cocoon-to-butterfly theory only works on cocoons and butterflies.
17.No man is charming all the time. Even Cary Grant is on record saying he wished he could be Cary Grant.
18.When four или еще men get together, they talk about sports.
19.When four или еще women get together, they talk about men.
20.Men are less sentimental than women. No man has ever seen the movie THE WAY WE WERE twice voluntarily.
21.Most women are introspective: "Am I in love? Am I emotionally and creatively fulfilled?" Most men are outrospective: "Did my team win? How's my car?"
22.If a man says, "I'll call you," and he doesn't, he didn't forget... he didn't lose your number... he didn't die. He just didn't want to call you.
23.Men hate to lose. I once beat my husband at tennis. I asked him, "Are we going to have sex again?" He said, "Yes, but not with each other."
24.Getting rid of a man without hurting his masculinity is a problem. "Get out" and "I never want to see Ты again" might sound like a challenge. If Ты want to get rid of a man, I suggest saying "I Любовь you... I want to marry you... I want to have your children." Sometimes they leave skid marks.
25.Men are self-confident because they grow up identifying with superheroes. Women have bad self-images because they grow up identifying with Barbie.
26.Male menopause is a lot еще fun than female menopause. With female menopause Ты gain weight and get hot flashes. Male menopause -- Ты get to дата young girls and drive motorcycles.
27.Men forget everything; women remember everything. That's why men need instant replays in sports. They've already forgotten what's happened.
1.Men like to barbecue. Men will cook if danger is involved.
2.Men who have pierced ears are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and have bought jewelry.
3.Marrying a divorced man is ecologically responsible. In a world where there are еще women than men, it pays to recycle.
4.Men are very confident people. My husband is so confident that when he watches sports on television, he thinks that if he concentrates he can help his team. If the team is in trouble, he coaches the players from our living room, and if they're really in trouble, I have to get off the phone in case they call him.
5.Men like phones with lots of buttons. It makes them feel important.
6.Men Любовь to be the first to read the newspaper in the morning. Not being the first is upsetting to their psyches.
7.All men are afraid of eyelash curlers. I sleep with one under my подушка instead of a gun.
8.A good place to meet a man is at the dry cleaner. These men usually have jobs and bathe.
9.All men hate to hear "We need to talk about our relationship." These seven words strike fear into the сердце of even General Schwartzkopf.
10.Men are sensitive in strange ways. If a man has built a огонь and the last log does not burn, he will take it personally.
11.Men have an easier time buying bathing suits. Women have two types: depressing and еще depressing. Men have two types: nerdy and nerdy
12.Men have higher body temperatures than women. If your heating goes out in winter, I recommend sleeping Далее to a man. Men are like portable heaters that snore.
13.Women take clothing much еще seriously than men. I've never seen a man walk into a party and say, "Oh, my God, I'm so embarrased. Get me out of here. There's another man wearing a black tuxedo."
14.Most men hate to shop. That's why the men's department is usually on the first floor, two inches from the door.
15.If a man prepares ужин for Ты and the салат contains three или еще types of lettuce, he is serious.
16.If you're dating a man who Ты think might be "Mr. Right" because he
◦got older,
◦got a new job, или
◦visited a psychiatrist,
Ты are in for a nasty surprise. The cocoon-to-butterfly theory only works on cocoons and butterflies.
17.No man is charming all the time. Even Cary Grant is on record saying he wished he could be Cary Grant.
18.When four или еще men get together, they talk about sports.
19.When four или еще women get together, they talk about men.
20.Men are less sentimental than women. No man has ever seen the movie THE WAY WE WERE twice voluntarily.
21.Most women are introspective: "Am I in love? Am I emotionally and creatively fulfilled?" Most men are outrospective: "Did my team win? How's my car?"
22.If a man says, "I'll call you," and he doesn't, he didn't forget... he didn't lose your number... he didn't die. He just didn't want to call you.
23.Men hate to lose. I once beat my husband at tennis. I asked him, "Are we going to have sex again?" He said, "Yes, but not with each other."
24.Getting rid of a man without hurting his masculinity is a problem. "Get out" and "I never want to see Ты again" might sound like a challenge. If Ты want to get rid of a man, I suggest saying "I Любовь you... I want to marry you... I want to have your children." Sometimes they leave skid marks.
25.Men are self-confident because they grow up identifying with superheroes. Women have bad self-images because they grow up identifying with Barbie.
26.Male menopause is a lot еще fun than female menopause. With female menopause Ты gain weight and get hot flashes. Male menopause -- Ты get to дата young girls and drive motorcycles.
27.Men forget everything; women remember everything. That's why men need instant replays in sports. They've already forgotten what's happened.
All my feelings of hurt, distrust,
And even love... If Ты ask.
Please ask.
It wasn't hard telling you,
your concerned smile
lit a flame that
couldn't be put out.
But Ты only chipped the iceburg
that is home.
It's screaming, insults' and curses
thrown at me like verbal bullets.
But your smile makes it better.
At least I hope it's real...
Ты don't deserve to share the
fake smile I see everyday in the
mirror.
You're better than that.
