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posted by Bluekait
1
Your butt is wide, well mine is too
Just watch your mouth или I'll sit on you
The word is out, better treat me right
'Cause I'm the king of cellulite
Ham on, ham on, ham on whole wheat, all right

My zippers bust, my buckles break
I'm too much man for Ты to take
The pavement cracks when I fall down
I've got еще chins than Chinatown

Well, I've never used a phone booth
And I've never seen my toes
When I'm goin' to the movies
I take up seven rows

Because I'm fat, I'm fat, come on
(Fat, fat, really, really fat)
You know I'm fat, I'm fat, Ты know it
(Fat, fat, really, really fat)
You know I'm fat, I'm fat, come...
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WEIRD similarities between линкольн and Kennedy:

Abraham линкольн was elected to Congress in 1846. John F. Kennedy was elected to Congress in 1946.

Abraham линкольн was elected President in 1860. John F. Kennedy was elected President in 1960.

Both were shot in the back of the head in the presence of their wives.

Both wives Остаться в живых their children while living in the White House.

Both Presidents were shot on a Friday. (Gotta get down...)

Lincoln's secretary was named Kennedy.

Both were succeeded by Southerners named Johnson.

Andrew Johnson, who succeeded Lincoln, was born in 1808. Lyndon Johnson, who succeeded Kennedy, was born in 1908.

линкольн was shot in the Ford Theatre. Kennedy was shot in a Lincoln, made by Ford.

линкольн was shot in a theater and his assassin ran and hid in a warehouse. Kennedy was shot from a warehouse and his assassin ran
and hid in a theater.

Booth and Oswald were assassinated before their trials.
posted by darina25
3
 here is the outfit
here is the outfit
This is ubjb's Описание of the outfit me just plane blue jens рубашка thats usally black... and any comfortable clothing, i would like for my hair style a curly blond hair that is quite long... is that okay?? so i did it. i hope she likes it. it was an easy work because after i read the Описание i knew straight away, what to draw. the jeans are dark, shoes simple and grey - they are supposed to go with the cardican- the cardican also grey with a hood. the cardican is covering a simple black t-shirt that for me Форс-мажоры the blond long curls. i thought there should not be any accesories needed because this is a "simple" outfit. i didn't want to make the outfit look over looked " looking a bit too much" so i hope u like u'r outfit ubjb. ( link )
posted by ShiningsTar542
3
Rebecca doesn't only want to be known for her unforgettable song “Friday” so she is going to do everything in her power to create a cool new album.

Yes indeed, Rebecca has become famous thanks to her annoying song Friday and has got a record deal for a Cd with five еще songs, can Ты believe it? :/

Rebecca, is known-for and hated for “Friday”, she has even сказал(-а) that she doesn't like the song....we're not sure we believe that.

So on her Далее CD Rebecca promises to have a еще natural sound than in Friday, and that she, at least, will like her songs....it's amazing how much power the Internet has! It makes and breaks stars.

source: europapress
posted by ShadowFan100
5
(This is a lil...inspirational/moral speech about what a Human truly is. And don't get offended when it mentions "God"--it's my right to believe in Him)

I'm sure there's a lot of people who often wonder what it means to be human--what a human IS exactly. Some might say we're unimportant, not special, not amazing. And even possibly (dare I say) nothing еще than just a of bunch mutated wild beast that came from the animal kingdom, who are only capable of destroying themselves beyond any hope of being redeemed of our dark side.

Well, that's not true--and IDC HOW many of your so-called "facts" tell...
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posted by FanFun1010
5
If you're under weight: She's too skinny
If you're over weight: She's a fat ass
If you're gay: He's so gay
If you're a lesbian: She's fucking gay
If you're Black: NIGGER!
If you're White: CRACKER!
If you're Mexican/Hispanic/Latino etc.: Эй, TACO!
If you're tall: How is the weather up there?
If you're short: MIDGET
If you're smart: NERD!
If you're not smart: DUMBASS!
If you're a virgin: haha virgin
If you're not a virgin: SLUT!

There is no way to please society. Doesn't matter what Ты do, you'll be judged.
1.Tell someone Ты truly trust about your trouble.
2.Talk to your friends.

3.Go outside (somewhere Ты can relax when Ты visit) and don't say I am not in the mood.

4.Cry when Ты feel that Ты need it and don't think crying is weakness.

5.Bring a piece of paper and write/draw whatever Ты want .

6.Take a душ with a cold/warm water .

7.Listen to classic Музыка .


8.Drink a Фрукты сок или anything cold.

And in the end remember that life goes on and never stops ...You have to live it as it is and it's your choice to be happy или sad :)

With my Любовь .....
posted by LaDispute
1
I was staring at myself in the mirror, eyeing the scars and wondering how I would make them go away in time for the spring break trip I'm taking with my family to Florida.

Now, I don't cut myself often, but when I do the cuts are deep and they leave wide, bright розовый gashes behind. That kind of stuff is hard to hide.

The reason for the cutting? I use it as what a shrink might call a "coping mechanism." Sometimes things build up inside of me, little things and big things. As time lengthens between cutting sessions it's like I can feel the pressure inside of me pressing outwards on my skin, taking...
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posted by MineTurtle
1
Just to let Ты know, this is NOT mine. I found it on another website.

My Child,

You may not know me, but I know everything about you. Psalm 139:1

I know when Ты sit down and when Ты rise up. Psalm 139:2

I am familiar with all your ways. Psalm 139:3

Even the very hairs on your head are numbered.
Matthew 10:29-31

For Ты were made in my image. Genesis 1:27

In me Ты live and Переместить and have your being. Acts 17:28

For Ты are my offspring. Acts 17:28

I knew Ты even before Ты were conceived. Jeremiah 1:4-5

I chose Ты when I planned creation. Ephesians 1:11-12

You were not a mistake, for all your days are...
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posted by danmarino900
4
My friend (I won't use her real name) ill call her "Jessica", was once kind of suicidle and she got really sad one night so she found a bunch of pills (she doesent know what they are) and swallowed them. She had really bad stomach pains since then (its been a month, and the stomach pains have been going away slowly) Also, she gets the pains when she eats. Although the pain slowly keeps becoming easier, it doesent seem to be going away. She does not want anyone but me to know, so she doesent want to see a doctor either because that would involve her telling someone. (She especially doesent want her parents to know). Any medical help или ideas as to what it might be или what she can do to fix herself?
"We've gotta do something quick!" Larry cried. Nath held a sign that сказал(-а) "I Agree!" then said,"She's сказал(-а) awesome twenty-nine times.... Twenty-seven were about her!"
"We're in a pickle... So what do Ты suppose we do?" Venous said, trying his best to keep a cool posture. He moved some blondish-light green hair out of his face. "We could always use our powers."
"We can't, Domness put some sorta thing on the room," Ushio said. Benga looked to the door. "Idiots. How can Ты suppose we're trapped? We haven't tried the door yet. If I know that bastard Domeness, he probably didn't lock the door,"Benga...
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posted by Vishwa_22496
"WANNA MAKE a cutte quick effective difference in life...?"


1) If Ты Want to work for people ....Make your сердце the ultimate NGO and see the difference.

2) If Ты want fame ...Make yourself famous to yourself and see the difference

3) There is never a fresh start. But there is always a brighter start.

4) As Ты are the creator of your life, similarly Ты are the destroyer of your life.

5) Change not to please others, but to improve yourself.

6) And then remember the 2' ALWAYS:-
*always forget what people did bad for Ты
*always forget what Ты did good for people


P.S :- *always have an attitudde of excellance with combination of nobelity*
posted by BenderIsGreat34
1
Narrator: Ты are entering the vicinity of an area adjacent to a location. The kind of place where there might be a monster, или some kind of weird mirror. These are just examples; it could also be something much better. Prepare to enter: The Scary Door.

Last Man: [Walks into library]

Narrator: As per your request, please find enclosed the last man on Earth.

Last Man: Finally, solitude. I can read Книги for all eternity! [drops his glasses] It's not fair, it's not fair! [calms down] Wait, my eyes aren't that bad; I can still read the large-print books. [reaches for a book, his eyes fall out] [hysterical]...
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Dreams are what makes us imagine.
our bodies make us stand, but our hearts are what keeps us alive.

blank faces, colored pages, morbid truth for a soul.
we are connected, our hearts are one. We are one.

We ponder for answers, we wonder the truth.
Society and war are corrupting our youth.
Blue skies and радуга Бабочки are еще than an inch from your fingers.

Reach out. Take it. Make it yours.

Live for today, rather than tommorrow.
The truth is only a mile away.

Catch Your Dreams.
~dreamcatcher321
There’s nothing better than that moment when Ты have an incredibly interesting fact to spew in a social situation, making yourself sound infinitely еще intelligent than Ты really are. I have picked out some of her избранное to throw out there at your New Years parties this weekend …


1. The U.S Government once poisoned over 10,000 American citizens.
And yes, that sh*t was intentional.

Even dumber than the idea of banning alcohol in the United States in the 1920s, was the idea to poison people in an effort to scare them away from drinking alcohol.

During the Prohibition, one way the black...
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I've recently heard that some people are offended by the T- рубашка slogan "Boys are stupid, throw rocks at them," and think it's sexist and that people wouldn't react the same if it was women they were targeting.

But the thing is, I feel that the рубашка isn't targeting men, but that it's for little girls who don't get along with boys. If I saw a five год old boy wearing a рубашка that сказал(-а) "Girls Have Cooties" или "Pull your sister's pigtails, she deserves it" I'd think it's cute.

I don't think it's sexist. If it was targeting the female или male gender I'd think it was, but I think it's just little girls not getting along with little boys, and thinking they're gross, not anything that might be serious.

But the people who criticize the slogan do make a good point, have Ты ever seen a T.V. Показать where they always make the man look like an idiot and he follows his wife's every order? If the genders were reversed, it would be considered sexist.
posted by teamsalvatore98
10
(from 20-1 <3)
20. running out of toilet paper
19. repetitive ads
18. my parents telling me I need to do something productive
17. that день of the год when all your good clothes are dirty and your parents won't let Ты wear dirty clothes so Ты have to wear shit-clothes that look boyish (or girlish) on you.
16. the number 45
15. the letter W (i mean seriously. it isn't a double-u its a double-v.)
14. whores/prostitutes/sluts/man-whores
13. police officers
12. eating meat
11. when someone reports me for something completely stupid
10. people teasing me (my dad does this) because I'm a klutz
9. justin bieber
8. розовый (the color the artist is cool)
7. non-believers
6. assholes
5. imvu ads (selling sex again, IMVU?)
4. eHarmony commercials
3. hypocrites
2. posers
1. hypocrites who are posers and think they're so cool when they're really just stupid morons.
Every Generation thinks they're smarter than than the ones before them,and Wiser than the ones after them.

*****

Our abasement to our ancestors,makes our descendants hiss us.

*****

Philosophy is the study of other's thoughts,History is the study of their mistakes.

*****

A woman's doubts is stronger than a man's certainty .

*****

Here's a handy advice:don't Совет anyone,so Ты don't carry their sins.

*****

Two Ты can't escape nor survive from:A hungry tiger,and an emotional woman.

*****

The biggest mistake in your life is marrying a woman just because she's a nice companion.

*****

A Woman doesn't...
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posted by TDIlover226
7
My class-mates are fuck-tards :3
Here are the events that went on yesterday and today in my 2nd час science class.

--

Mark: KYEEROP.
Michael: Ты sound like a Teddy медведь =ω=
Lanni: Wait.. What does a Teddy медведь even SOUND like..? And how do Ты know? *Makes suspicious face*
Michael: Ты ask Mark, he's the one making teddy-noises over here!
James: So we could call him Teddy-Mark!
Me: ..Was that supposed to be funny?
James: Aw, come ON! That was some top-quality funny shit going on right there!

Lanni: I has a jellyfish :3
*Everyone stares*
Lanni: What?
*Everyone continues staring*
Lanni: WHAT!?
Michael: LIAR!...
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posted by j-bfan7
Edward pulled two tickets out of his пальто pocket with an unusually questionable grin on his face. I hadn’t seen this expression before. His eyes were bigger than normal, and black. I could see that he needed to hunt. His head tilted slightly downwards, and while one side of his lips curled up, somehow the other side seemed to curl down. Edward looked as though he didn’t know if he wanted to smile, или frown.

“Are those plane tickets?” It sounded еще eager out loud than it did in my head.

Edward shifted his dark gaze down at the two tickets he held between his long, porcelain-like fingers,...
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