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posted by Lady10358
Found this on Google
1. If you're lucky enough and find someone with the shirt: FREE HUGS или If Ты find a рубашка store selling it, hug the shirt/person and if they/someone notices you, say "It says free hugs!"
2. go to the Еда court and go to a fast Еда place and take tons of straws and put as many possible in your mouth and stand on a таблица Пение elmo's world theme.
3. Go to one of those toddler toy/clothing stores and hold up a baby outfit/toy and yell as loud as Ты can "I Любовь THIS TOY! I'D PLAY WITH IT день AND NIGHT!"
4. Go to the bathroom and hide in a stall until Ты see an old lady/guy...
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posted by PartyOrange
 This is your new language.
This is your new language.
(This Статья is a JOKE. It's not meant to be serious, so don't take it seriously.)

1.Watch hours of Аниме each day, every day.

2. Start wearing shirts/clothing that are written in Katakana.
(For eample: "Kawaii", "Neko", "Baka")

3. Always talk about how Ты want to be "Miku-Chan" when Ты get older.

4. On вверх of that, always say "-chan,-san,-sama,-kun",etc...

5.If Ты have family refer to them as "onee-sama/chan and onii-sama/chan".

6. Listen to stereotypical Japanese pop music. (Cute, high-pitched voices with pop instrumentals)

7. Wear obnoxious anime-like outfits everywhere. (Bright-coloured, mix-matching,...
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1) Follow complete strangers around for 10 minutes, then speak into your воротник and say, "Harrold, we have a situation. Subject 367 is unresponsive. Code 163!"

2) When Ты get onto the elevator, laugh hysterically for 5 seconds, then glare at the other passengers as if they are crazy.

3)Run up the "down" escalators, shrieking hysterically, and when Ты reach the top, fall silent and glare at other shoppers as if they are crazy.

4) Approach a stranger in any Wal-Mart and hand them a шпатель and say, with authority, "The future of the Earth depends on it." Abruptly turn around and walk away....
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posted by Shelly_McShelly
my friend sent me this text message a while назад and i thought it was hilarious!!!




i need to ask Ты somethingand i want Ты to be totally honest with me. it may be awkward between us after this but i have to kow how Ты feel... I've kept it in for a while now but now it's time to be straight up and just confront you. i hope this doesn't ruin anything we have, i just need to know and i dont see any other way i could get over this. it just doesn't seem fair if i dont gett an answer. i want Ты to tell me truthfully, please no matter how harsh it is. i just want your hoest opinion...

Pepsi или Coke?



Ha ha ha ha !!!
Funny.
posted by simpleplan
There are many words i could use to describe how I feel about Ты right now. None of them are nice

To know me is to Любовь me, to hurt me is to dig your own grave.

I want a tazer =)

Has gone to play in traffic.

Is breathing oxygen

I don't have anger issues...You have acceptance issues.

You can email your complaints to gofuckyourself@idontgiveashit.com

Is wondering if people are two-faced, does that mean Ты get to slap them twice?

Has new boxing gloves and a nasty temper, fancy your chances???

I like it when people give me a reason to nurture my dark side

SMOKING SAVES LIVES ... It stops me strangling...
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1) The Hard man act - guys will put on an act of being hard for 2 reasons: a) They are with mates and having some banter. If ther is banter, there is Hard man acting. b) They fancy you. Some guys will try to give the impression that they are strong, athletic etc. But this is only one way of a guy trying to impress you. If a guy does not do this, it doesn't mean he doesn't fancy you. (see 2)

2) Guys will be sensitive. A guy will be mature and caring around Ты if he fancies you. He wants to Показать he's not just thinking about sex, and is after a meaningful relationship. He wants to present himself...
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1.I like pie

2.Blue isn't blue until blue turns blue and when blue turns blue it's possibly blue and when blue turns blue, blue is orange.

3.My cat can fly. I taught him to the other day.

4.Dog Еда is a beautiful thing to watch when Ты are eating!

5.BLACK HEAD!!!!!!!!

6.Butterfly fly away, because I'm your biggest fan, and I got a feeling that you'll shine on like the Moonstone high at the end of time.

7.Heeeeeeeloo!

8. My name is Cow. I like purple. My name is purple. I like cows. In the end, the odds come together and we get out alive.

9. I'M IN HELL WHENEVER I'M AROUND POOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOP!

10. Fartblossom!

11.Pip-pip cheerio! (In and English accent.)

12. Your face is disorted when Ты sleeeeeep.

13. Bye сказал(-а) Santa while eating Blitzen.
DEMENTED POEMS

Розы are crap
Violets are shit
Sit on my face
And wiggle a bit

Розы are stupid
Violets are silly
Grease up your flaps
Cuz here comes my willy

Розы are awful
Violets are the pits
Lift up your shirt
And Показать me your tits

Розы make me laugh
Violets make me titter
You're a dirty bitch
And Ты Любовь it up the shitter

Розы are straight
Violets are twisted
Bend over love
You're about to get fisted

Розы are crap
Violets are wanky
Oooh I've just cum
Pass me a hanky

Розы are red
It's elementary
Let's ring your best friend
And try double entry

Розы are shit
Violets are crap
Показать me your clit
And I'll cum in your lap

Розы are red
Skidmarks are brown
Give me a blow job
And глотать, ласточка it down

Розы are groovy
Violets are funky
I'm thinking of you
And spanking my monkey
I never thought I would be doing a Список like this because when I do lists based on looks it's on women. As a straight guy, it's easier for me to rank women than men. However, when I put my mind to something I try my best to come through. I had already done this Список with women and I remember being asked if I would ever do it with men, so here it is. Keep in mind this is all just my personal opinion as a straight guy and it wasn't easy to figure out AT ALL! Please Комментарий but be polite. Also, always Комментарий because I worked HARD on this and during a time I had just had laser eye surgery and...
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This was definitely the most difficult Список I've made so far. I even made a few changes when I was deciding the ranking. Ты can obviously tell that this wasn't easy and took A LOT of dedication in order for me to figure it out. First of all, I will only be talking about the вверх 10 and just listing the other women and Показ pictures. I figured that it not only makes it easier for me to make but also makes it easier for Ты guys to read and not be overwhelmed. I hope Ты enjoy it and keep in mind this is just my personal opinion. Please don't forget to Комментарий and I can't wait to hear what...
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posted by Nein-Nein
 The brazen бык an execution device
The brazen bull an execution device
The period known as the Middle Ages stands out as one­ of ­the most violent eras in history. This epoch, lasting roughly 1,0­00­ years, from the 5th century to the 15th­, was a time of great inequality and brutality in much of Europe.
Here are some of the devices used to punish and torture criminals :-

THE BRAZEN бык :
The Brazen бык was a hollow brass statue crafted to resemble a real bull. Victims we­re placed inside, usually with their tongues cut out first. The door was shut, sealing them in. Fires would then be lit around the bull. As the victim succumbed to the searing heat inside,...
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posted by FlufflyHands
Everyone is putting stuff up about Walmart, I was smart enough to think of CVS :D (I made these up on my own with no one elses help btw)

1. Resort the medicine aisle

2. Run around like an idiot until Ты are told to stop, once the person who stopped turns around do it again, repeat this process until your told to leave, then run out like an idiot

3. Go up to the cash register and tell the clerk that someone is "poaching" medicine, then run out of the store

4. Take the magazines Ты see and tear them to pieces, then go up to the front (were the cash register is) and throw the pieces up the air and...
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posted by awesomeblossom1
Here's some of my fave "I wasnt that drunk" jokes hope Ты like :)
"I wasn't that drunk"
"You saw a ginger girl eating blueberries and screamed 'No Foxface! Not the berries!'"
"You ran into Walmart and when Ты heard someone talking on the intercom, Ты fell to your knees and said, 'God has spoken!'"
"You grabbed my parakeet, threw it at my sisters piggy bank and yelled, 'ANGRY BIRDS!!!!!'"
"You told me to give Ты a ride Главная and the part was at your house"
"You asked your girlfriend if she was single"
"You gave a midget a гриб and yelled 'GROW MARIO GROW!!!'"
"You were cutting open pineapples...
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As many of Ты know I made a Список of 20 Избранное animated heroes, which Fanpop actually advertised on the Fanpop page in the pop culture section. I'm so happy about it and feel as if I was famous или something. Anyway just like with my Избранное animated heroines Список I'm going to be making a Список of the worst animated heroes. I just Любовь to do these hate Статьи just as much as my Избранное ones, sometimes a little bit more. Doing hates are just еще fun because Ты get to make еще jokes and make fun of that character. Please leave a Комментарий and keep in mind this is just my personal opinion,...
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1.people excpect Ты to be good all the time and stay the same

2.Your Друзья get jelious when Ты hang with other people.


3.more people then Ты think hate Ты and think your stuck up.


4.If your a mean Популярное person people might ditch you.


5.People talk about Ты behind your back because your selfish and think your the best thing in the world.


6.The teachers know not to put Ты with your Друзья because Ты talk to much.


7.You hang out with alot of people but еще then 90% of them are just hanging out with Ты because your popular.


8.If your a Популярное girl and Ты have had afew boyfriends some people will start calling Ты a slut.



9.If your a Популярное boy and Ты have had afew gilfriends people will think your a player.



10.if Ты had a good friend and then Ты became Популярное they might stop hanging out with Ты because they think there not good enough.
posted by xxemogirl101xx
For people that hate stereotypes.


1. I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic

2. I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.

3. I'm a NEGRO so I MUST carry a gun.

4. I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a ditz.

5. I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed.

6. I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat.

7. I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.

8. I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.

9. I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape.

10. I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.

11. I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.

12. I'm a GAY RIGHTS SUPPORTER, so I WILL go to hell.

13. I'm an ATHEIEST, so I WILL go to hell

14. I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST have no values...
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posted by vlad_todd_fan
This is A TRUE STORY AND IF Ты DON'T PASS THIS ON Ты DON'T HAVE A SOUL!!!

My name is Chris,
I am three,
My eyes are swollen..
I cannot see.

I must be stupid,
I must be bad,
What else could have made,
My daddy so mad?

I wish I were better,
I wish I weren't ugly,
Then maybe my mommy,
Would still want to hug me.

I can't do a wrong,
I can't speak at all,
Or else I'm locked up,
All день long.

When I'm awake,
I'm all alone,
The house is dark,
My folks aren't home.

When my mommy does come home,
I'll try and be nice,
So maybe I'll just get,
One whipping tonight.

I just heard a car,
My daddy is back,
From Charlie's bar

I hear...
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20. Yoruichi Shihoin from "Bleach" Cool, Smart, fast, strong and she can turn into a cat, Yoruichi is the bomb. Even her former student Soi-Fon loves and respects her.
 The MASTER of female shinigami.
The MASTER of female shinigami.

19. Kushina Uzamaki from "Naruto" The mother of the main character Kushina get's little time in the sires cause she's dead but that doesn't stop her from being totally kick жопа, попка in life.
 The red hot-blooded habanero.
The red hot-blooded habanero.

18. Mana from "Yu-Gi-Oh!" My Избранное Yu-Gi-Oh girl...Fun, pretty and AWESOME. Mana is one of the strongest and few girls in this sires about guys.
 The original dark magician girl.
The original dark magician...
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not by me n thnx for readinnnnnnnnnn........♥♥

ll around us, everyday, there are two groups of people that many believe to be different. Not so! Teen-agers and Seniors have a lot in common. If it's accidentally putting their shoe on the wrong foot или putting their foot in their mouth, there are instances of conduct that are very similar in both groups.

For example:

Both groups like to hang out at fast Еда restaurants and shopping malls.

Both groups have developed their own "walk."

Both groups like to wear clothing that doesn't fit well.

Both groups seem to have questionable facial hair.

Both...
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1. Ты can do whatever Ты damn well please.

2. Shave your legs and the razor is never dull from his face.

3. Not only is your razor not dull, who needs to shave at all now?

4. Ты can leave bra and other unmentionables in view.

5. Ты can slump around the house in any old thing.

6. Ты don't having to think about birth control, calendars или ovulation. Mother Nature can visit whenever she likes.

7. Ты can go out and flirt as much as your сердце desires, without a worry in the world.

8. The toilet сиденье, место, сиденья issue -- need I say more?

9. Free drinks at bars! Men seem to know when you're single and tend to...
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