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posted by IloveMyLord
Grammar, perfectly understood, enables us not only to express our meaning fully and clearly, but so to express it as to enable us to defy the ingenuity of man to give to our words any other meaning than that which we ourselves intend them to express.
William Cobbett
Grammar and logic free language from being at the mercy of the tone of voice. Grammar protects us against misunderstanding the sound of an uttered name; logic protects us against what we say have double meaning.
Rosenstock Huessy
The writer who neglects punctuation, или mispunctuates, is liable to be misunderstood for the want of merely...
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posted by australia-101
37 Rude & Crude Pick-up Lines
1. I wish Ты were a door so I could slam Ты all day.
2. Nice legs...what time do they open?
3. Do Ты work for UPS? I thought I saw Ты checking out my package.
4. You've got 206 Кости in your body, want one more?
5. Can I buy Ты a drink или do Ты just want the money?
6. I may not be the best looking guy in here, but I'm the only one talking to you.
7. I'm a bird watcher and I'm looking for a Big Breasted постель, кровати Thrasher: have Ты seen one?
8. I'm fighting the urge to make Ты the happiest woman on earth tonight.
9. Want to play army? I'll lay down and Ты can...
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posted by tokidoki123
[Family Guy] S01E05 - A Hero Sits Далее Door #178
Lois: Meg, you're a sweet, beautiful girl, he'll come around.
Meg: That's such a mom answer.
Lois: Well, have Ты tried Показ him the goods? How's that for a mom answer?
Meg: Creepy.
Contributed by funnytvquotes.com



[Family Guy] S03E07 - Lethal Weapons #183
Peter: Excuse me, is your refrigerator running? Because if it is, it probably runs like Ты - very homosexually.
Contributed by funnytvquotes.com



[Family Guy] S03E10 - рыба Out Of Water #181
Auctioner: We'll open this auction with this pair of panties confiscated from a prostitute.
Quagemire: Fifty...
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posted by hetaliaitaly
26
What i feel on the inside is not what i Показать on the outside i dont Показать Любовь i dont know vein my life will never be the same i cant tell Ты how i feel because the hurt deep within my сердце is all so real the anger and hurt i cannot stand makes me feel like im the mist floating never going to rest in peace i dont no how i found this its maybe when people laugh and shout no matter what they say или how they feel i always think my life is not real.


(over 100 teens each год kill themselves или think suicide because of being bullied или teased it doesent matter if standing up for someone helps Ты but atleast it helps someone else and it may save a life)
posted by Usui--takumi
8
I'm Against death penalty. Looking at the death penalty system in action, Ты realize that the only purpose it serves is retribution или revenge, it is seriously (and intrinsically) flawed in application and that there is a serious and continuing risk of executing innocent people. And, it costs much еще than life in prison.
130 people wrong fully convicted people were sentenced to death and were lucky to be exonerated and released, eventually. DNA, available in less than 10% of all homicides, can’t guarantee we won’t execute innocent people. If someone is convicted and later found innocent...
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This утка walks into a convenience store and asks the clerk, "Do Ты have any grapes?" The clerk says no, and the утка leaves.

The Далее day, the утка returns and asks, "Do Ты have any grapes?" The clerk again says no, and the утка leaves.

The день after that, the утка walks in the store again and asks "Do Ты have any grapes?" The clerk screams at the duck, "You've come in here the past two days and asked if we had any grapes. I told Ты no every time that we don't have any grapes! I swear if Ты come back in here again, and ask for grapes, I'll nail your webbed feet to the floor!!"

The duck...
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Liquid Plummer
Warning: Do not reuse the bottle to store beverages.

Windex
Do not spray in eyes.

Toilet Plunger
Caution: Do not use near power lines.

Dremel Electric Rotary Tool
This product not intended for use as a dental drill.

Arm & Hammer Scoopable Cat Litter
Safe to use around pets.


Bowl Fresh
Safe to use around pets and children, although it is not recommended that either be permitted to drink from toilet.

Endust Duster
This product is not defined as flammable by the Consumer Products Safety Commision Regulations. However, this product can be ignited under certain circumstances.

Baby...
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474 Things To Do When You're Bored


- Wax the ceiling
- Rearrange political campaign signs
- Sharpen your teeth
- Play Houdini with one of your siblings
- Braid your dog's hair
- Clean and polish your belly button
- Water your dog...see if he grows
- Wash a tree
- Knight yourself
- Name your child Edsel
- Scare Stephen King
- Give your cat a mohawk
- Purr
- Mow your carpet
- Play Pat Boone records backwards
- Vacuum your lawn
- Sleep on a постель, кровати of nails
- DON'T toss and turn
- Boil ice cream
- Run around in squares
- Think of quadruple entendres
- Speak in acronyms
- Have your подушка X-rayed
- Drink straight shots...of...
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1) Lean over them when there asleep and sing a lullaby really loud and out of tune.

2) Every five минуты yell "The aliens are coming!"

3) Choose a specifice piece of cutlery (eg. a fork) and stare accusingly at that item every time Ты see it.

4) Buy face paints and paint their face when there asleep. Try doing something the person is afriad of. (eg. clown, zombie)

5) Announce that Ты are actually a secret agent, spying on somone who lives in your house.

6) Call your house number and announce that Ты are going on strike. If they ask for a reason, hang up. Caution: Make sure Ты dont get a wrong number!!

7) Put ice cubes in everyone's warm drink.

8) Every time they speak interrupt them with "Curiosity killed the cat."

9) Set alarms on your mobile/cell phone that go off every 10 minutes.
posted by ilovetowrite
26
lollllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll
people on Болталка are the dumbest persons in life they are very disappointed ,they are Остаться в живых everywhere ,they forget freedom is just another life ,and they are depressed and don't get a life
How pathetic !
They are real trolls
they are annoying
and they will go to hell soon
i'll kick their dirty жопа, попка soon
HOW Pathetic are they ?

they should be burnt here and send to the hell!


lollllllllllllllllllllllllllllll
olololololololloooolloo
posted by alessequinn
14
my opinion on friendship is Ты have to have a friend for starters. but what Ты also need is a person who is kind, caring, supportive, trustworthy, and theres alot of other things, and ohh not to forget a person who isnt rude to you. wannna no why im bringing the last thing on my Список up its because thats whats going on to me. my name is alesse and my so called Друзья name is madison. well ever since january shes been runing me down, letting her anger out on me, and talking behind my back. i dont wanna friend like that. so i did some investigating and nothing wrong is going on in her life....
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posted by x-menobsessed26
Useful Hawaiian Phrases
On the Plane
My how your perfume fills the entire cabin!
'A'ala maoli keia wahi o kakou i kau wai 'ala kuikawa!


If I snore, I would like to apologize in advance
Ke nono au, e kala mua mai, i keia manawa ho'i.


I am filled with admiration for my in-flight meal
Kahaha ko'u na'au i ke 'ano o ka mea 'ai ma keia mokulele.


Only six dollars for a headset? Why thats only three dollars per ear!
Eono kala no ka ho'olohe lekio? 'O ia ho'i, 'ekolu wale no kala o kahi pepeiao!


Baby, Severe Turbulance is my middle name
E ku'u kumu e, mai hopohopo, ua kapa 'ia ko'u inoa waena, 'o ia 'o Severe...
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posted by yukikiyruu
1
Sleeping Beauty: Perfect for the sleepyheads.
Dolly Wholly: This name is perfect for the well-dressed girl.
Honey Bunny: Ideal for your playful girlfriend.
Cutsie Wootsie: This cute name is excellent to say when Ты are pinching her cheeks with both hands.
Pretty Eyes: If your girlfriend has crystal-clear, beautiful eyes, then Ты may call her by this cute name.
Princess: It is a perfect name for your girlfriend, if she has that little girl spirit.
Pumpkin: This name can be used for casual moments.
Doll Face: This name is perfect for a girl with a cute face.
Beautiful: It is a simple but effective...
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posted by iluvsmj
3
A mother was working in the kitchen, listening to her five-year-old son playing with his new electric train in the living room. She heard the train stop & her son saying, "All of Ты bastards who want off, get the hell off now, 'cause this is the last stop! And all of Ты bastards who are getting on, get your жопа, попка in the train, cause we're going down the tracks."

The horrified mother went in & told her son, "We don't use that kind of language in this house. Now I want Ты to go to your room & stay there for TWO HOURS. When Ты come out,you may play with your train, but I want you...
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posted by spunkyonyx
If Ты have 3 quarters, 4 dimes, and 4 pennies, Ты have $1.19. Ты also have the largest amount of money in coins without being able to make change for a dollar.

The numbers '172' can be found on the back of the U.S. $5 dollar bill in the bushes at the base of the линкольн Memorial.

President Kennedy was the fastest Болталка speaker in the world with upwards of 350 words per minute.

In the average lifetime, a person will walk the equivalent of 5 times around the equator.

Odontophobia is the fear of teeth.

The 57 on Heinz ketchup bottles represents the number of varieties of pickles the company once...
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posted by spunkyonyx
2
Эй, guys, found some interesting and strange facts, some are just facts I have known a long time ago(school, wandering around websites), others are ones that I have found, I apply the Источник if available. Any others Ты may want to add up feel free to do so. Enjoy!

1) Coca-cola was once green.
It was green because it was accidentally carbonated when a clerk squirted syrup into the wrong glass.

2)Barbie doll measurements if she were life size: 39-23-33. Wow... she's cut from the team.

3)Intelligent people have еще zinc and copper in their hair. *Checks... Woot!

4)You blink about 84 million times...
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posted by karpach_14
3
Here with me, I’ve got 99 facts!

Guys don’t actually look after good-looking girls. they prefer neat and presentable girls.
Guys hate other flirts.
A guy can like Ты for a minute, and then forget Ты afterwards.
When a guy says he doesn’t understand you, it simply means you’re not thinking the way he is.
Are Ты doing something?” или “Have Ты eaten already?” are the first usual Вопросы a guy asks on the phone just to get out from stammering.
Guys may be flirting around all день but before they go to sleep, they always think about the girl they truly care about.
When a guy really likes...
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posted by KateKicksAss
Credit: www.rinkworks.com
I thought these were funny, what do Ты guys think?


"Do not use if Ты cannot see clearly to read the information in the information booklet." -- In the information booklet.

"Caution: The contents of this bottle should not be fed to fish." -- On a bottle of shampoo for dogs.

"For external use only!" -- On a curling iron.

"Warning: This product can burn eyes." -- On a curling iron.

"Do not use in shower." -- On a hair dryer.

"Do not use while sleeping." -- On a hair dryer.

"Do not use while sleeping или unconscious." -- On a hand-held massaging device.

"Do not place this product...
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posted by KitkatKaysa
2
Gemini.
Your element: Air
Your ruling planets: Mercury
Symbol: The Twins
Your stone: Aquamarine
Life Pursuit: To explore a little bit of everything.
Vibration: Intense mental energy
Gemini's Secret Desire: To be ahead of the crowd


Description:
In ancient Greek mythology, Gemini's ruler - Mercury, was the light-footed messenger of the gods who darted back and forth across the heavens delivering news - which might explain why those born under the sign of the 'Twins' are always on the move; thirsty for knowledge and new experiences. Terminally curious and sometimes even mischievous, Geminis are...
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posted by Wanda5
5
1.Put your iTunes (or iPod) on shuffle
2.For each question, press the Далее button to get your answer

1.WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
2.WHAT DO YOUR Друзья THINK OF YOU?
3.WHAT IF Ты GOT SO MAD, THAT EVERYONE STAYED AWAY FROM Ты AND LET Ты HAVE YOUR Космос FOR 4 DAYS?
4.WHAT IF THERE WAS A STALKER CHASING YOU?
5. WHAT WOULD Ты DO IF YOUR FRIEND BETRAYED YOU?
6.WHAT IF Ты SAW A BUNCH OF Болталка PEOPLE/THINGS?
7.WHAT IF A MALE FRIEND DID EVERY THING AN ADULT CAN DO?
8.WHAT DO Ты WANT TO BE WHEN Ты GROW UP?
9.WHAT DO Ты THINK WHEN Ты SEE THE PERSON Ты LIKE?
10.WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
11.WHAT WILL...
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