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posted by 1-2vampire
3
The Brittish Nursery Rhyme about Bloody Mary - Mary Tudor - или Mary I.

Mary Mary quite contrary,
how does your garden grow?
With silver bells and cockleshells
And pretty maids all in a row


We thought it was about a girl named Mary who liked gardening или something - WRONG.

It is in fact about Mary Tudor, or, еще commenly reffered to as Bloody Mary.

Contrary - Means changing things just for the sake of it (Mary Tudor changed Britain back into a Roman Catholic country after her father and her brother changed it into a Protestant way)

How does your Garden Grow? - Mary wanted a baby very badly, but she...
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1. Guys may be flirting around all день but before they go to sleep, they always think about the girl they truly care about.

2. When a guy really likes you, he'll disregard all your bad characteristics.

3. Guys go crazy over a girl's smile.

4. Guys will do anything just to get the girl's attention.

5. Ты have to tell a guy what Ты really want before he gets the message clearly.

6. Guys Любовь their moms или grandmas.

7. A guy often thinks about the girl who likes him. But this doesn't mean that the guy likes her.

8. Ты can never understand him unless Ты listen to him.

9. Beware. Guys can make gossips...
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posted by ilovepenguins
9
1. At the airport, wear a uniform and claim Ты are the pilot, get annoyed if they don't believe Ты but DONT give up, see how far Ты can get ( WARNING, may result in Ты being arrested)

2. Whilst boarding the plane, say in a loud voice "THAT WING SURE DOES LOOK RUSTY!!"

3. When everyone is seated, do your own demonstration of what to do in an emergency, let this include 'comical' situations such as "in the (likely) event of the plane setting alight and becoming a plummeting fireball of death, please remember to tighten your seatbelt" look surprised when Ты are the only one laughing.

4. when...
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posted by OmegaLeader
3
(Found it on the internet thought it was pretty interesting.)

You call your victim and Ты want to confuse them. No laughing или anything, just a normal voice like someone would call you. Me and my Друзья do this a lot.


Script:
You call the person...

Person: Hello?
You: Hello?
Person: Uh, hi. Who is this and what do Ты want?
You: What? Oh no no no no no! It is Ты who is calling me. Ok, so what did Ты need?
Person: No no I didn't call you. Ты called me. Wait, who is this??
You: NO! I didn't call you! Ты are the one who called me! Now i ask one еще time who are Ты and why did Ты call my at this...
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Haha, Some Funny Things To Do While Class Is Going On.. :D

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~-------------~~~~~~~~~­~~~­~~~­~

1) Bring some Книги to class and read them instead of paying attention или doing any work.

2) Walk around class begging for spare change.

3) Chew on your arm until someone notices.

4) Change seats every time the teacher turns his/her back.

5) After the teacher explains something, laugh really loud and say "Oh, now I get it!"

6) Lick yourself clean like a cat does.

7) After the teacher has explained something, say "Quite right, old bean" in the typical old english style.

8) Sing your questions...
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Jeff Foxworthy is now picking on Michigan.

If Ты consider it a sport to gather your Еда by drilling through 18 inches of ice and sitting there all день hoping that the Еда will swim by, Ты might live in Michigan .

If you're proud that your region makes the national news 96 nights each год because Pellston is the coldest spot in the nation, Ты might live in Michigan .

If your local Dairy Queen is closed from November through April, Ты might live in Michigan .

If Ты instinctively walk like a пингвин for five months out of the year, Ты might live in Michigan .

If someone in a store offers...
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posted by Hinata-Snow
2
I got this from the joke app I have. Well, enjoy!

25 facts of life
1. The badness of a movie is directly proportional to the number of helicopters in it.
2. Ты will never find anybody who can give Ты a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight-saving time.
3. People who feel the need to tell Ты that they have an excellent sense of humor are telling Ты that they have no sense of humor.
4. The most valuable function performed by the federal government is entertainment.
5. Ты should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests Ты think she's pregnant unless Ты can see an...
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posted by Shelly_McShelly
Solve the puzzles by saying them out loud, over and over, faster and faster, repeating the phrase, until Ты "hear" the answer.

Example: LAWN SAND JEALOUS (place) Answer: Los Angeles

1. SHOCK CUSSED TOE (person)

2. SAND TACKLE LAWS (fictional character)

3. MY GULCH HOARD UN (person)

4. MOW BEAD HICK (book)

5. TALL MISCHIEF HER SUN (person)

6. CHICK HE TUB AN AN US (product)

7. THOUGH TIGHT AN HICK (thing)

8. AISLE OH VIEW (phrase)

9. TUB RAID HEAP HUNCH (TV show)

10. CARESS TROUGHER CLUMP US (person)

11. DOCKED катафалк WHOSE (person)

12. THUMB ILL KEY WAKE OWL LICKS HE (place)

13. AGE ANT HUB BLOWS HEAVEN...
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posted by gossipgirlxoxo
10
1.When your roommate comes in, pretend that Ты are on the phone, screaming angrily and shouting obscenities. After Ты hang up, say "That was your mom She сказал(-а) she’d call back".

2.Buy a jack-in-the-box. Every day, turn the handle until the clown pops out. Scream continuously for twenty minutes.

3.Collect hundreds of pens and pile them on one side of the room. Keep one pencil on the other side of the room. Laugh at the pencil.

4.Keep a тарантул in a jar for three days. Then get rid of the tarantula. If your roommate asks, say “Oh, he’s…… around here somewhere….

5.Shoot rubber bands...
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-The first product to have a bar code was Wrigley's gum.

-Our eyes never grow, but our nose and ears never stop growing.

-A sneeze can exceed the speed of 100 mph.

-The most common blood type in the world is type O.

-The rarest blood type in the world is type A-H, less than 12 people have it.

-Fingernails grow nearly 4 times faster than toenails.

-You consume 1/10 of a calorie every time Ты lick a stamp.

-It takes еще calories to eat a piece of сельдерей than the сельдерей provides Ты with.

-Many people think eating рыба makes Ты еще intelligent.(sorry - it doesn't)

-Some lions mate 50 times a day.

-No...
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Accuse people of "glue sniffing addictions" in public.
Add blank entries to a list, to make it look like it's longer.
Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that Ты "like it that way".
After visiting the local donut shop, sit on the floor cross-legged and insist in a childish voice that Ты haven't received enough Шоколад sprinkles.
Announce when you're going to the bathroom.
Answer every Вопрос with another question. As soon as one of Ты says a statement instead of a question, shout "I win!".
Any time a member of the opposite sex tries to talk to...
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posted by Feathershine
2
1. Flick pencil erasers at the teacher then deny it
2. Say "I'm annoying u! I'm annoying u! I'm annoying u!.." keep doing it and see the teachers reaction
3. Pass notes in class, and when they tell u to stop say "we were sharing notes"
4. During Suisse/tests when everything is quiet say "Why is it so quiet in here?"
5. During tests when your done, turn in your chair if someone else is done, start whispering across the room to them
6. When your in the hallways push people and yell "PUSH AND SHOVE!!"
7. During tests/quizes turn to someone who's finished and mimic them
8. Steal peoples supplies then...
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posted by DramaQueen1020
Sad Stories About AIDS


I found these stories online. These are true stories.

I used to know Josephat and his lovely family of a wife, 2 daughters and a son. He used to live in a town 1,000Km from the city. The town is on the Tanzania Zambia border. He used to come to the city many times during the год on his pickup фургон, ван but when I did not see him for over a год I inquired from his cousin. The cousin informed me that he had a motor accident on the Dar es Salaam Zambia Highway. He died on the spot. That was 6 years ago. I had forgotten about him and family till yesterday when I met his cousin...
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These are just some, еще will probably be added later.

I hate:
-Animal abusers
-Child abusers
-Butthurt moralfags (If Ты get mad at me saying moralfags, well then, Ты must be new here. I'm not homophobic.)
-3/4 the mainstream crap on the radio
-Jersey Shore
-Homophobes
-People who don't thank Ты when Ты open a door for them
-Toddlers and Tiaras
-People who are always snooPING AS usual I see. /shot so fuckin' hard
-Fuckers who judge people by their appearance
-When my computer breaks down
-Fangirls who get mad at if Ты aren't borderline insanely obsessed with the same thing they are (Go on the Michael...
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posted by patrisha727
4
1.1 out of every 8 couples married in the U.S. last год met online?

2.New York City has 578 miles of waterfront?

3.In New York, at the вверх of a небоскреб it is possible for people to see snow falling while people on the ground see rain?

4.Passports issued by the US after January 1, 2007 have always-on radio frequency identification chips?

5.Shopping is the most Популярное domestic trip activity by American travelers?

6.There are almost two million women veterans in the US?

7.The average American woman weighs 140 pounds?

8.The average clothing size for women in America is size 14?

9.The longest street...
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posted by EmzLovesCheryl
1
Hey, this is my piece for my drama exam, without the stage directions. I started Письмо it out on here as a way of learning it, then I thought, why no post it? I may as well, it's going to do no harm. :D
So here it is, its rather depressing though. So if Ты don't need to be depressed right now, then I suggest Ты don't read it. :)




[Give me a break. You’re going to go back to your Друзья and either forget all about us или tell a story about the hideous freak Ты met tonight. Ты don’t know me, if Ты did, you’d never think we’d be friends. I don’t have Друзья - except my brother....
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[Everybody Loves Raymond] 116 - Diamonds #385
Marie: Oh I used to Любовь Valentines Day!... then I met your father.
Frank: I used to Любовь every day.
Contributed by funnytvquotes.com



[Everybody Loves Raymond] 121 - Fascinating Debra #409
Debra: There's nothing funny about me to imitate y'know?
Ray: Oh, what are Ты talking about? Here I'll do you. "Ray, get off of me, it's not your birthday"
Contributed by funnytvquotes.com



[Everybody Loves Raymond] 202 - Father Knows Least #380
Ray: Look, Ты have to do what Mommy says.
Ally: Why?
Ray: 'Cause I do.
Contributed by funnytvquotes.com



[Everybody Loves Raymond]...
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posted by Joe1996
9
1. When Ты get pulled over, say "What's wrong, ossifer, there's no blood in my alcohol?"

2. When he asks why Ты were speeding, tell him Ты wanted to race.

3. When he talks to you, pretend Ты are deaf.

4. If he asks if Ты knew how fast Ты were going, say no, my speedometer only goes to......

5. Ask if Ты can see his gun.

6. When he says Ты aren't allowed, tell him I just wanted to see if mine was bigger.

7. Touch him.

8. When he asks why Ты were speeding, tell him Ты had to buy a hat.

9. Ask him where he bought his cool hat.

10. Refer to him by his first name.

11. Pretend Ты are gay and ask...
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A week назад I made an Статья of my 20 Избранное animated heroines so I thought I'd make an Статья for my 10 least Избранное animated heroines. I'm not going sugar code it, I'm going to be brutally honest because I really hate all these girls. Just so there's no confusion I wanna let Ты know that that number 10 is the one I hate the least and number one is the one I hate the most. Please leave a Комментарий on what Ты think about this, enjoy.

10.Lady(Lady and The Tramp)

I know she's considered one of the most loved Дисней heroines and the most loved of all the animal heroine but I really hate...
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Okay, she's kinda getting еще famous by the minute. She has her own show, her own song, and she even performed at the Disneyland Рождество день Parade. But honestly, in MY opinion, I don't like her one bit.

I'm sorry if Ты like her cuz I kinda don't. Just now I expressed my opinon about her on Tumblr and some 12-year-old went apesh*t on me. So don't hate me guys, but I REALLY don't like her. If Ты ask me, behind her fame is a lot of money. Think about it. Auditions, professional photos, Пение lessons, etc... hundreds of dollars. And who paid for it? Certainly not her. Her parents. Tens of...
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