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posted by Sheetal1256
Here are some funny New Year's resolutions for 2012...
I will think of a Пароль other than "password" или "hello".

I will not tell the same story at every get together.

I won't worry so much.

I will cut my hair.

I will grow my hair.

I will stop considering other people's feelings when they so obviously don't consider mine - if that unwashed fellow sits Далее to me again, I'll tell him he stinks!

I will be еще imaginative.

I will not bore my boss by with the same excuse for taking leaves. I will think of some еще excuses.

I will do less laundry and use еще deodorant.

I will avoid taking a bath whenever...
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These are my вверх 15 LEAST Избранное Знаменитости and just like with my вверх 15 Избранное Знаменитости Список I'm only basing this off who they are as a person, but I will talk about their talent as well. I will also tell Ты how attractive I think these people are because there are very few on here I find ugly and some I find very attractive, I'm just going to mention it just to Показать that I'm not biased like some people. This one person who did a Список like this pretty much just сказал(-а) they were all ugly and even compared them to animals. Anyway, this is my Список and please keep in mind this is just my...
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Болталка Things to Do Containing "act like"

Yell at your brother/sister untill they wake up and then act like nothing happened.

Video tape Ты and your Друзья pretending to act like each other!

Walk up to a Болталка person Ты don't know and ask them for their autograph, act like they're a celeb.

Act like little kids in Wal-Mart with one of your Друзья being your mother/father.

Talk to someone Ты don't know and act like they killed your dog.

Go up to a friend and act like Ты are some one stupid.

Buy a party hat and put it on your head then act like a unicorn.

Act like someone Ты don't like...
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posted by Jasonfan44
It's an iPod app.

1. Men are 6 times еще likely to get struck by lightning then women

2. On average, adults watch double the amount of TV as teenagers do

3. The first CD pressed in the US was Bruce Springsteen's "Born in the USA".

4. At the height of its power(400 BCE) the Greek city of Sparta had 500,000 slaves and only 25,000 citizens

5. The state of Florida is bigger than England

6. Approximate number of facial expressions Собаки can make: 100

7. A улитка can sleep for 3 years

8. It is illegal for tourists to enter Mexico with еще than 2 CD's

9. Muhammad is the most common first name in the world...
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OK here's part 3 - remember these aren't in any particular order

Name: Tom Ward (Actor)
From: Silent Witness
Character: Dr Harry Cunningham
Attraction: He's just so gorgeous - very manly

Name: Andrew Gower (Actor)
From: Being Human
Character: Nick Cutler
Attraction: His mouth and the way he talks (if you've not seen Being Human - Ты should watch it just for him lol) - and he looks a little like David Thewlis (although maybe not so much in this picture)

Name: Alex Pettyfer (Actor)
From: Beastly
Character: Kyle
Attraction: Think it's actually the hair for me

Name: James Buckley...
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posted by eslisle4254
I found this poem and i felt i needed to post it

Month One

Mommy, I am only 8 inches long, but I have all my organs. I Любовь the sound of your voice. Every time I hear it, I wave my arms and legs. The sound of your сердце beat is my Избранное lullaby.

Month Two

Mommy, today I learned how to suck my thumb. If Ты could see me, Ты could definitely tell that I am a baby. I'm not big enough to survive outside my Главная though. It is so nice and warm in here.

Month Three

You know what Mommy, I'm a girl !! I hope that makes Ты happy. I always want Ты to be happy. I don't like it when Ты cry. Ты sound...
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posted by MarMar_XigLux
“ Killing someone with a spoon is not bad, but I prefer the chainsaw it's faster.”
~ Serial Killer on spoons

You found out Ты hate someone. No, not just hate. Ты FUCKING hate them. No, not just FUCKING hate them, Ты wanna strangle them until their head pops off then shove it down the loo but then it'll go into the sewers and then the police/the fuzz/cops/pigs/gorillas will be like, all, "omfg wutt iz goin on why iz der a hed in me toilet" and then they'll find you're fingerprint on them and be all "haha we fund woo it was it was [insert name here] and then Ты be like "omgomgomg" and then...
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posted by iluvsmj
A mother was working in the kitchen, listening to her five-year-old son playing with his new electric train in the living room. She heard the train stop & her son saying, "All of Ты bastards who want off, get the hell off now, 'cause this is the last stop! And all of Ты bastards who are getting on, get your жопа, попка in the train, cause we're going down the tracks."

The horrified mother went in & told her son, "We don't use that kind of language in this house. Now I want Ты to go to your room & stay there for TWO HOURS. When Ты come out,you may play with your train, but I want you...
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-Russia's coastline is 23 000 miles (37 015 kilometers for those who use kilometers), if Ты stretched out all of your blood vessels, it would be 93 00 miles (1 496 69 kilometers)

-In Iceland your last name is your fathers first name and son или duter added to the end. Leif Erikson? Leif Erik's son

-The numbers '172' can be found on the back of the U.S. $5 dollar bill in the bushes at the base of the линкольн Memorial

-In the average lifetime, a person will walk the equivalent of 5 times around the equator

-Karaoke means "empty orchestra" in Japanese

-Rhode Island is the smallest state; yet it has...
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posted by rAsberrStrarS
Kiss On The Lips-I Любовь You
Kiss On The Ear-You Are Special
Kiss On The Nose-Laughter
Kiss On The Cheek-Friendship
Kiss On The Forehead-I Comfort You
Kiss On The Neck-I Want You
Kiss On The Shoulder-You Are Wonderful
Kiss Anywhere Else-Be Careful
Play Around With Hair-Can't Live Without You
Holding Hands-Happiness
Arms Around Waist-You Are Mine,I Need You
A Hug-I Care
Nibble On Ear-Start Warming
Smiling At Each Other-I Like You
Lifting Eyebrows/Wink-Flirtation
Looking Around-Hiding True Feelings
Tender Kiss On The Side Of Your Lips-You're Mine
Wetting Your Lips-Waiting For A Kiss
Tear Drop-I'm Losing You
Crying-I Остаться в живых Ты
 Miku and Kaito
Miku and Kaito
20. Miku Hatsune and Kaito from "VOCALOID" I know it's kinda cheating because there voice synthesizers but there still animated in some of there Музыка videos! There so cute together I had to put them on here.

19. Gakupo and Rin from "VOCALOID" I know I just did it again. But I Любовь them еще then Kaito and Miku so they have to be on this too and besides the only other guy is her twin brother and I don't like incest.
 Gakupo and Rin
Gakupo and Rin

18. Ion and Esther from "Trinity Blood" Oh god I Любовь these two they start out hating each other then become close Друзья или maybe more...I'd like to think so....
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1. AT DINNER: Look at your parent with crazy eyes, and whenever they say something, repeat the last word.

2. When they say, "What are Ты doing?", say, "What are Ты doing?" (emphasize the YOU)

3. IN THE LIVING ROOM: Tell your sibling to hide behind the диван, мягкий уголок until Ты give them the signal. Call your parent into the room. Start crying and say "Mom! Dad! (sibling's name) ran away! Call the police!" When they call the police, give your sibling the signal. Enjoy parents reactions. (WARNING: ATTEMPT THIS ONE AT YOUR OWN RISK!!!)

4. WHEN THEY MAKE SOMETHING GROSS FOR DINNER: Ask them which restaurant...
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Ok so me and my friend Любовь the mall but what makes it еще fun are the following

-When your Остаться в живых looking for a store ask them in a british accents! here's an example "Pardon me, could Ты please point me in the direction of ______" (if u are british do it in a differnt accent like american austraian ect.)

-When Ты go into a store adress your friend by a differnt name and have a weird personality

-if Ты go into one of those store that plays the Музыка REALLY loud, sing along like there's nobody else in the store but Ты and ur friend.

-Have weird conversations about Болталка things. like terrorists или something

Have fun with Друзья at the mall!
posted by xxXsk8trXxx
1. Ask your teacher "Is mayonaise an instrument?"

2. Take a drummer's drumstick (or if you're a drummer, than your own!) and poke people with it

3. Ask if Ты can try the harmomonica или the recorder

4. Play Sweet Victory (in the Spondgebob episode Band Geeks) as a surprise duiring a concert. Plan it with others in advance before, though.

5.Purpously forget your instrument. If your teacher asks why, say "My pet alien ate it, than a viking killed him, than it swam in a pool and drowned, than I recovered his body and Chuck Noris beat it up and ate it, than he threw it up and made it into shampoo,...
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posted by Shelly_McShelly
Welcome to The Weakest Link.

Here is a very simple little test comprised of four Вопросы to determine the level of your intellect. Your Ответы must be spontaneous and immediate, with no deliberating или wasting time.

And NO CHEATING. On your mark, set....GO!!!

1: Ты are competing in a race, and overtake the runner in секунда place.
In which position are Ты now?


If Ты answered that you're now coming first then you're completely wrong. Ты overtook the секунда runner and took their place, therefore you're coming second.

For the Далее Вопрос try not to be so dumb.

2 : If Ты overtake the last...
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1) Pay the ring bearer a dollar to pick his/her nose during the ceremony.

2) Laugh hysterically the whole time while the vows are being said.

3) Pay the цветок girl a dollar to heap the petals on the floor, and walk in front of the bride with the basket on her head.

4) Play a heavy metal song in your portable CD player during the procession. Make sure Ты disabled the piano/organ first.

5) Walk around, handing other guests copies of embarrassing pictures of your cousin, who is the one getting married.

6) Get your best friend to call Ты repeatedly during the ceremony. Make sure Ты set your ringtone to an irritating tone.

7) Paint yourself purple for the occasion.

8) "Trip" and spill Шоколад fondue all over the bride.

9) Put a "kick me, I'm making a stupid Переместить by getting married" sign on the groom's back.

10) "Invite" a pit bull.
posted by Mallory101
" Watch out for the idiot behind me!"
Moooooove, I'm trying to speed!
If you're rich, I’m single!
0-60 in 15 minutes!
A clean car is a sign if sick mind.
100% Irony Free
Adrenalin is my drug of choice.
Adults are just kids with money.
Baby on bored
HOME SCHOOL. Smarter than ever.
I talk to strangers
I Think Feminists Are Cute!
Keep honking, I am reloading!
Pain is inevitable misery is optional.
To All Ты Virgins: Thanks For Nothing.
Tennis players have fuzzy balls.
Your honor student deals the best drugs.

The fastest way to a fisherman's сердце is through his fly
Stupidity is not a crime so you’re...
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posted by angy7sdg
Only in America ......do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of

the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

Only in America ......do people order

double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.

Only in America ......do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.

Only in America ......do we leave cars

worth thousands of dollars in the

driveway and put our useless утиль, барахло, мусор in the garage.

Only in America ......do we buy hot Собаки in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.

Only in America ......do we use the...
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By a Harry Potter fan.

1) Ask them if being a Potterhead means they smoke pot.
2) Point out how much еще successful Robert Patz was in Twilight.
3) Steal their Hogwarts robes.
4) Pretend to know what a Hufflepuff is.
5) Ask them why there is no yellow brick road in Hogwarts.
6) Get confused between Voldemort and Dumbledore.
8) Never use the number 7.
9) Call Bellatrix 'Big Head'
10) Ask loudly why Фред and George never noticed their brother was sleeping with a strange man.
11) Laugh at Dobby's death.
12) Refer to Hedwig as 'the strange birdie'
13) Buy them an Umbridge inspired dress for Christmas.
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Check out this infected canker sore in my mouth!
I work for the IRS.
Have Ты ever tried cat meat?
I don't know why I ate it - liver and onions always gives me gas.
I just had a proctological exam - wow, worth every penny!
The last time my head rang like this I woke up with a dead man Далее to me!
I puked on the last person who flew Далее to me.
My butt reeeally itches!
Would Ты look at the size of the hair I just yanked out of my nose!
My psychiatrist says that flying helps offset my desire to mutilate small, defenseless, woodland creatures.
The last guy who ignored me is still on a respirator....
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