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posted by klaine_forever
1
I, klaine_forever, did NOT write this! I dont know if it has already been Опубликовано so if it has then whatevz

Big Macintosh surveyed the many apples trees that made up Sweet яблоко Acres. It was nearly apple-buck season once again, and it looked as though they would be having a bumper harvest this year. He nodded, satisfied. His sister яблочная водка, яблоко, кальвадоса walked up beside him. “Whoo, boy howdy! I sure am glad Ты ain’t injured this time, Big Macintosh!” she said. “Why, there’s even еще apples on them trees than last year!”
“Eeyup!” Big Macintosh replied, in his characteristic manner....
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posted by TwilightGirl312
4
I have seen a lot of cyberbullying before, but it seems to be getting much worse and needs to end. The other день I was on Youtube when I saw an arguement where one person was clearly bullying the other. I had watched a video that had all these clips from different Фильмы put together while "Fireflies" by Owl City played in the background. After it was over, I looked at the Комментарии and I was very upset by this arguement. I'm not going to give the actual usernames или real names of the people involved, but let's just call them "Annie" and "Jessica". I apologize in advance if you're Чтение this...
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posted by hetaliaitaly
5
Please dont tell me not to cry
Please dont say there was a reason why
My life has changed forever
It will never be the same

Am i just a pawn being played in your game?
Tell me to Переместить on with life
Forget it and be strong
But deep down way inside i dont want to go along

If Ты were there for me i wouldn't have just left
But if i am dead then what is the price of death
Im sick of playing with my life
I will never rest in peace
Not until the one that destroyed me
Has died a destruction death
1. they will sing his songs

2.they will blush when they here somone say his name или talk about one of his new songs

3.they will have atleast one picture of him

4.gets upset if they cant go to one of his concerts

5. wont be afraid to say hes cool

6.listens to his Музыка every night to go to sleep with

7.will ask Ты if Ты have heard his new song

8.screams if someone else says i Любовь justin beiber

9.is always talking about a video they watched of him on youtube

10.will say they hate или Любовь whatever he does even if they hate it или Любовь it
posted by karpach_14
1
Jack and Betty are celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary.

"Betty, I was wondering -- have Ты ever cheated on me?"

"Oh Jack, why would Ты ask such a Вопрос now? Ты don't want to ask that question..."

"Yes, Betty, I really want to know. Please."

"Well, all right. Yes, 3 times."

"Three? When were they?"

"Well, Jack, remember when Ты were 35 years old and Ты really wanted to start the business on your own and no bank would give Ты a loan? Remember how one день the bank president himself came over to the house and signed the loan papers, no Вопросы asked?"

"Oh, Betty, Ты did that for me!...
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posted by invadercalliope
2
Ingredients:
•4 cups steamed Japanese rice
•strips of dried nori (seaweed)
•salt to taste
•black sesame seeds
•*for fillings:
•ume (pickled plum) / grilled salted лосось (small chunks) / kombu no tsukudani
Preparation:
Cook steamed rice. Put about a half cup of steamed рис, райс in a рис, райс bowl. Wet your hands in water so that the рис, райс won't stick. Rub some salt on your hands. Place the steamed рис, райс on your hand and put your Избранное filling, such as kombu-no-tsukudani, umeboshi, and grilled лосось on the rice. Push the filling into the рис, райс lightly. Hold the рис, райс between your palms. Form the рис, райс into a round, a triangle, или a cylinder by pressing lightly with your both palms. Roll the рис, райс ball on your hands a few times, pressing lightly. заворачивать, обертывание the рис, райс ball with a strip of nori или sprinkle some sesame seeds on them.
posted by invadercalliope
2
CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLIII
IIIIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPEEEEEEEEEEEEE
CHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNN
NNNNEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL
OMG ITS THE FIRSTT EPISOE OF CALLIOPE CHANNEL!
IF YOUR WONDERING I ATE TONS AN TONS OF SUGER TODAY YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!
Now todays topic is....MUSIC!
Today i will be talking about MUSIC!
Well ГИР and the doom song is a big hit its on the вверх 100's isn't that amazing!
Another person i like is Marilyn Manson!
I like is Skillet!
Now lets talk about a thing i wrote!
Pokemon Pick Peaches!
Well thats it with todays episode of the calliope channel and enjoy the Болталка picture i posted!
SEEEE YA
The End
posted by LadyL68
In the world of stereotypes...


I'M SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic

I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.

I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.



I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.


I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash.



I'm a DANCER, So I MUST be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.

I wear SKIRTS, so I MUST be a slut.

I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.

I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth.

I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.



I FELL IN Любовь WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore.


I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a...
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MARY HAD A LITLE LMB LITLE LMB LITLE LMB MARY HAD A LITL3 LMB WHOSE FLECE WAS WHIET AS SNOW
SNG1!!1!11 WTF A SONG OF SIXPENC3 A POK3T FUL OF RY3!1!! OMG LOL FOUR AND TWENTY BLAKBIRDS BAEKD IN A PEI1!!!11 OMG WTF LOL WHAN TEH PEI WAS OP3NED DA BIRDS BGAON 2 SNG1!1!11 LOL WASNT TAHT A DANETY DISH 2 SET BFORA DA KNG
TWINKLE???!???? LOL TWINKLA LITL3 STAR1!!!!1 WTF LOL HOW I WONDAR WUT U AER1!!11! OMG UP ABOV3 TEH WORLD SO HIGH1!!1 WTF LOL LIEK A DIMOND IN DA SKY1!11 TWINKL3 TWINKLE LITLA STAR!!11 OMG HOW I WONDER WUT U AER111!




i could barely read this and again this is from the internet<33
posted by EllentheStrange
4
Feel free to use them
1.Your mom
2.Dick
3.Eat it bitch
4.That's what she said
5. The future is bulletproof and the aftermath is secondary
6.Forshizz
7.Holy cannibal cupcake!
8.IDEK
9.Hey ho,let's go!
10.In Soviet Russia,the медведь wrestles you
11.Chuck Norris was here
12.Apple cake
13.Bloody bastards!
14.Ya know,I was welcomed to the black parade
15.Take my fucking hand and suck my thumb
16.Eat the children raw
17.RAWR means I Любовь Ты in Italian
18.I will carry on with the black parade
19.So long and goodnight
20.Ya know,I live life on the murder scene
posted by shun4ever
6
DAD COMES Главная DRUNK AND MAD

HE PULLS OUT A GUN
AND SHOOTS HIS WIFE THEN TURNS THE GUN
ON HIMSELF.

THE LITTLE GIRL SITS
BEHIND THE диван, мягкий уголок CRYING

THE POLICE
CAME AND TOOK THE LITTLE GIRL TO AN
ORPHANAGE.

SHE WALKS INTO THE
BEDROOM,AND THERE IS A PICTURE OF
Иисус ON THE CROSS

GIRL: HOW DID THAT MAN GET OFF OF THAT?

TEACHER: HE DIDN'T.

GIRL: YES HE DID.

TEACHER: NO HE DIDN'T.

GIRL: YES HE DID HE ALWAYS SAT Далее TO
ME WHEN MY PARENTS FOUGHT, AND HE TOLD
ME EVERYTHING WOULD BE OK

Ты READ THIS BECAUSE IT сказал(-а) FIGHT,
BUT WOULD Ты HAVE
READ IT IF IT сказал(-а) Иисус STORY?
POST THIS AS BIG FIGHT IN (ANY PLACE)?
DONT IGNORE THIS

64 PERCENT OF U WONT REPOST THIS

Ты NEVER
KNOW WHO MIGHT BE WATCHING
REMEMBER: THE BIBLE SAYS "IF Ты DENY
Иисус IN FRONT OF UR Друзья HE WILL DENY YOU
IN FRONT OF HIS FATHER
User: So your a robot?


Cleverbot: No Ты are a robot times 1000000.


User: No Ты are a robot times 1000000.


Cleverbot: I am a human and Ты are a robot.


User: User: Ты robot.User: Ты robot.User: Ты robot.


Cleverbot: Hahahaha that was funny. Ты are the robot here.

User: User: Ты robot.User: Ты robot.User: Ты robot.

Cleverbot: No i'm not robot... Ты computer?

User: So your a robot?

Cleverbot: Yes I 'd like to know how I can have my own bot.

User: So Ты admit that your a robot?

Cleverbot: Yes. I am a robot.




LOL yes fail I know
To Deadly Quit

Emily and Katlyn were celebrating a pretty Valentine's день together. Emily had cooked a stupid ужин and they ate on a log by candlelight.

"My darling," Katlyn said, stroking Emily's booty, "I have something for you." She gave a box to Emily. "It is but a quick token of my lesbian love."

Emily opened the box. Inside was a speedy snake! She gazed at it dreadfully. Then she gazed at Katlyn dreadfully. "It's iggnorant," Emily said. "Come here and let me quit you."

Just then, a dumb crone sprang out of hiding and cackled like a smile that stretches ear to ear. "Your happiness will not...
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posted by ShiningsTar542
4
After 17 years of marriage, Miley's parents are calling the whole thing off.

The US magazine People broke the news of the split. Miley Cyrus' parents сказал(-а) it is currently "a very difficult time for our family," and that they're "trying to work through some personal matters. We appreciate your thoughts and prayers."

Both Billy луч, рэй and Tish have been instrumental in Miley's success, serving as managers for the Hannah Montana star.

Now Miley and her four brothers will have to pull together to make it through this rough time. We hope they are alright,even miley is not my type and i'm not a Фан of her at all..but i feel upset bout that :(
Things Guys Should Know About Girls

1. Don’t ever lie to us; we always find out.
2. We don’t enjoy talking dirty to Ты as much as you
enjoy listening.
3. Don’t say Ты understand when Ты don’t.
4. Girls are pretty, but yours is the Prettiest!
5. Ты don’t have PMS; don’t act like Ты know what it’s
like.
6. Saying something sweet might get Ты off the hook;
doing something sweet will always get Ты off the hook.
7. If Ты talk about having a big dick; we know Ты don’t.
8. Size does matter, but only to hoes; not girls that
want relationships.
9. We don’t like it when Ты act like Mr....
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posted by jessicamc26
6
I'm goin' down to South Park gonna have myself a time,
(Kyle + Stan) Friendly faces everwhere humble folks without temptation,
I'm goin' down to South Park gonna leave my woes behind,
(Cartman) Ample Parking день или Night, people spouting, "Howdy, Neighbor"
I'm headin' down to South Park gonna see if I can't unwind,
(Kenny) I like girls with big vagina, I like girls with big fat titties
So come on down to South Park, and meet some Друзья of mine. ______
______________
_________________
--________________-________
____________
___________
________________
posted by jessicamc26
1
A little old lady walked up to the cashier and placed a bag of cat Еда on the check out counter. The cashier said, I'm sorry but I can't sell Ты that cat food. Why not? asked the little old lady. The cashier replided.. we have had complants that some senior citizens who don't have very much money are buying pet Еда and eating eat, and it's not healthy for them. If Ты can prove to me that Ты own a cat, then I can sell Ты the cat food.
The little old lady left the store and returned about an час later with her cat, purchased the cat Еда and went home.

About a week later she tried to buy...
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Do Ты think Eggs are disgusting?:

Only if there scrambled with ketchup. xp


Are Собаки cute?:

DUHH! ~<3


Do Ты fish?:

Nope!


Are Ты at the age where Ты can drink?:

Not yet. x3


Is eating a Popsicle dangerous?

No,unless Ты try to stick the whole thing in you're mouth. xD


Do Ты have a boyfriend или girlfriend?:

Sadly, no.. </3


Do Ты know who Hayley Steele is?:

Doesn't ring a bell....


Have Ты ever watched Good Luck Charlie?:

Yes and I'm not fond of it. u_u


Ever taken a sponge bath?[u/]:

Don't think so..


[u]Do Ты have your ears pierced?
:

I used to.


Have Ты broken your butt?:

No. =3


Tea is…?:

Best...
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posted by jessicamc26
3
The Engineer

An engineer dies and reports to hell.

Pretty soon, the engineer gets dissatisfied with the level of comfort in hell, and starts designing and building improvements.

After a while, they've got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and the engineer is a pretty Популярное guy.

One день God calls Satan up on the telephone and says with a sneer, "So, how's it going down there in hell?"

Satan replies, "Hey things are going great. We've got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and there's no telling what this engineer is going to come up with next."

God replies, "What??? You've got an engineer? That's a mistake -- he should never have gotten down there; send him up here."

Satan says, "No way. I like having an engineer on the staff, and I'm keeping him."

God says, "Send him back up here или I'll sue."

Satan laughs uproariously and answers, "Yeah, right. And just where are Ты going to get a lawyer?"
I dont undestand
i never did
and i guess i never will

i took a shot
i tried my best
to fiure Ты out
i gues its the end

CHOUUS:
that was yourlast shot. i put all my trust in Ты and Ты let me down.i am not sorry. i wont forgive Ты , its the end
so Ты can put your fist down right now
its over,you had your shot, now heres mine. and now im saying goodbye...gooodbye

you broke my heart
all i wanted was a faher to love
when my mother died
you never cried
you just used the oppertuniy
to push me down

never wil Ты burn me
or beat me
and call me wortless as Ты push me down

CHOUUS:
that was yourlast shot. i put all my...
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