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posted by LocalArtistist
So many people wonder how I do it. How I continue to live even after the worst has happened to me. But that is exactly what I do. I live.

My family has moved over and over in my life, they say it's due to my father's job, but he won't tell me what it is.and I know better. I can only gather certain a few clues they give away to try and piece together my past. You'd think I еще than anyone should know it, yet I haven't even started learning about it, at the moment all I know is. When I was a baby I got shot in a hostage situation. We moved. I met my best friend and her big brother. A few years...
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posted by vampirer04
"Good morning mom." Ashley took a sip of her coffee.

"Morning." Ashley's mom flipped two блины over.

Ashley loved the sent of блины in the morning.

When the блины were ready, Ashley got a text.

She read it and noticed a huge fight was happening.

She ate her breakfast and headed out the door.

When she opened the door her friend was standing in from of her.

"Hey!" She acted hyper.

"Uh hi, Anything going on?" She asked her while raising her eyebrow.

Ashley closed the door and followed her friend.

"Where are we going Lily?" She asked trying to catch up with her.

"Leading Ты to the fight idiot!"...
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posted by VoicesInMyHead
Disclaimer. I don't own anything but the question. May be SLIGHTLY offensive, I think, not sure, but VERY funny. Enjoy and PLEASE comment!!!


Q: name two benefits of having a general ledger.

A: 1. Well, a zombie soldier is pretty cool, but a CELEBRITY zombie soldier is AWESOME!!!!! no one can win aqainst a ZOMBIE!!!!!!! Plus who would want to hurt Heath, he's too freakin awesome!!!!!! So, any battle you're in, Ты can't lose!!!!!!!









2. Ты just KNOW his fangirls are gonna Присоединиться your army! The sheer NUMBERS are gonna give Ты an advantage!!!!!!! Ты can't lose!!!!!!! You'd be INVINCIBLE!!!!!!!! WORLD DOMINATION IF Ты WANT!!!!!!!!!



And those are two benefits of having a General Ledger!!!!!






Teacher's note: Genral ledger is a BUISSINESS term, NOT an idea to take over the world with an army of fangirls and celebrity zombies!
1)read something over and over that Ты thing that think is funny that Ты или someone Опубликовано on fanpop.
2)a nice cup of coffee.
3)a nice cup of hot coco.
4)a nice brakefast(sorry if mis spelled).
5)do something to make yourself laugh.
trust me i works to laugh your head off before Ты go to school, work, cherch или when your at Главная i just got серовато-коричневый, dun, дун Чтение a 100 times over what i Опубликовано on an rp and it was funny i put the words "BONE HEAD" 10 times then put "YOU ARE HOPELESS!" and i'm still laughing my head off so it helps to at lest laugh to start your день off right
posted by sakurahanazono
1.) write down "Alpha kenny body" on a piece of paper and get someone to read it pretending Ты have no clue how to read it. (It sounds like they're saying I'll f*** anybody)

2.) Once again write on a piece of paper "I won a math debate" Now get someone to read this and tell them to say it 5 times fast!

This only works on people if Ты get them to just say it out loud so don't let them read it in their heads first или else they might figure it out.



I will not be held responsible if anyone gets offended или if Ты get into trouble for doing these!

- good luck :3
sakurahanazono
Doctor:Sir,I have bad news and worse news.Patient:What's the bad news?Doctor:You only have 24 hours to live.Patient:Well what could be WORSE than that?!Doctor:I've been trying to call Ты since yesterday!

Maria:Kim,where's Kitty?Kim:I don't know,Maria.Maybe she's..Derek:Mom сказал(-а) Ты couldn't have a cat.Ooooh!I'm telling!Maria:Mom never сказал(-а) I couldn't have a LION instead.Derek:WHAT?!*chewing and swallowing noises*Maria:Kitty,there Ты are!

Yolanda:Come on,Sal.Let's play Hide-and-Seek!Sal:No,that's boring.Yolanda:We've got nothing better to do.Sal:FINE.I'll count!*after 20 seconds*Sal:READY или NOT,HERE I CO-OME!YOLANDA WAS NOT FOUND UNTIL THREE DAYS LATER AT FUNZONE.Sal:YOLANDA!!I've been looking for Ты FOREVER!Yolanda:Your right,Sal,Hide-and-Seek IS boring*slurps smoothie*Yolanda:Hey...is this icecream expired?
Wednesday 18 February 1996

My dad just got a call from his ex-wife, my mom, telling him that she's going to the hospital because she's going to give birth to a new baby born, a girl called: Me. Its kind of hard to come to this world without knowing how hard and difficult life could be, knowing as well that I'm not going to live like any normal child living with a real mom and dad. Here comes me, token in the hands of a women that should be my mom but, everything changed in a while .. My mom decided that she doesn't want me, she gave me to my dad and he gave me to his mom, my grandma .. Moving...
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posted by xoPixie-Popxo
Feel free to add some suggestions или reasons! I may include them on here. :)

From Cartoonnetwork:

Regular Show:
-The Анимация is actually decent.
-Funny
-Some characters are actually smart and use common sense

Adventure Time with Finn and Jake
-It has a very weird (but cute) looking setting.
-Funny
-A very fun and adventurous little cartoon (Hence the title, ADVENTURE Time.)

What I have to say to Cartoonnetwork: You're doing a rather decent job. Now let's get еще Мультики like these.

From Nickelodeon:

Victorious (but slowly getting worse, like iCarly :/)
-Interesting and original characters
-Fun story...
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THIS IS NOT MINE. I got it from Tumblr. x)

The following is an actual Вопрос дана on a университет of Washington Chemistry mid-term:

The answer by one student was so ‘profound’ that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well :

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) или endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle’s Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) или some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First,...
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posted by LUV_4_BIEBER
I find your smile Невероятное
Passion unsustainable
My сердце beats faster and faster whenever your
near,
Only to come to a cold stop when she passes by
My tears will go on forever
My smile isn’t real
And my сердце is трещина, сплит in two
Every thought I ever had about Ты are buzzing in my head
I pray one день i'll be under your arm
Holding your hand
Поцелуи your lips
I hope one день Ты dry my tears
See right through my fake smile
And repair my broken heart
In my opnion when it comes to friendship it means that Ты and the people Ты care about stick together for periods of time until Ты get to know one another.

However, not a lot of people are like this. In my case, I may have over a dozen Фаны but a percentage of them even talk to me nor do they know who I am and what I meant to be on here for. Don't get me wrong a few of the Фаны I have are very nice to me. Whenver I talk to them I always feel welcomed, safe, secured, and better. But when I am being treated unfairly или being abused или played around it makes me angry, sad, depressed, and unhappy....
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posted by bubbletl
This is how it manifests itself:

I decide to water my garden.
As I turn on the hose in the driveway, I look over at my car and decide it needs washing.
As I head towards the garage, I notice mail on the porch таблица that I picked up from the postman earlier.
I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car.
I lay my car keys on the table, put the утиль, барахло, мусор mail in the recycling box under the table, and notice that the recycling box is full.
So, I decide to put the bills back on the таблица and take out the recycling first.
But then I think, since I'm going to be near the postbox when I take out the recycling...
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posted by karpach_14
A
is for Arteries.
You know, the things that your ex-girlfriend ripped out because she really didn't care for Ты Ты twit she was only after your money and could have дана a shit about you.

B
is for Bitter. Who, me?? No way. I really hope things between them do work out. I hope they get married and have 2 children that are little devils and her hips get huge and his eyebrows finally grow completely together and they get fat and old together and then DIE!!

C
is for Call ya later.She won't. She never has before.

D
is for Dumped. Does D need to be explained?

E
is for Eating like a pig. Remember when...
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posted by Supergirl14
The Plan
I looked in the cracked mirror, Sad and lonley...Well not lonley, I did have my circus preformers(or slaves as I was taught to call them)But most of them thougt I was a freak! I know they woun't dare say that to my face, but I hear them,"I hate her so much,"and,"she is such a freak!"(I hate when pepole call me that!)
What did I do wrong?I gave them everything they needed,and made sure they were perfect.They work three hours a day, how hard is that, I work non-stop.
I always try to make sure I'm perfect in every way,but there is always something wrong in my routine.I always try to make...
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posted by coolkatstar
I found this on the internet is so funny read and enjoy and if Ты like it the credit is not for me so have fun!

Guest: “why does the dog sit there and watch me eat?”
Hotel Host: “I can’t imagine, unless it’s because Ты have the plate he usually eats from.”

A guy phones up his boss , but gets the bosses’ wife instead:
“I am afraid he died last week” she explains.

The Далее день the man calls again and asks for the boss.

“I told Ты “the wife replies, “He died last week”

The Далее день again he calls again and once еще asks to speak to his boss, by this time the wife is getting...
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posted by amdow98
Yes yes. The Название makes this seem urgent. Well I'm here to tell Ты about my life. Yea I'm growing up in a small town (well 2) and I'm pretty friendly. I had a bully in prschool. Yes a bully who thought she was the boss of everyone. Well I go to a Catholic School in my hometown. I Любовь it there. I have so many friends. And they like me for who I am. I currently do dance. My parents are divorced. I have 4 cats. I had a guinea pig, but she died. Thank Ты for your time :) God Bless Y'all <3333333

Things to annoy your sis:
Say something over and over again
Nugde her repetatively
Play Taylor быстрый, стремительный, свифт Музыка if she doesn't really like her(My sis isn't such a fan)
Do everything she does


That's pretty much it.
<3amdow98
posted by LostieKilljoy
Heyyyy Lostie here XD

I'm here to write information about this story I'm writing. I know most of Ты are bored about hearing about vampires, but trust me, Bloodthirsty is different.

Bloodthirsty is a story about a young girl whose parents get killed by the "Wretchens" (Wretchens are demons). A vampire called Kieran comes to her rescue as soon as the Wretchens turn on her. The girl discovers that her parents are part of a once powerful clan called the Psys, people who are in touch with their psychic powers on a powerful level.

Kieran is дана the job to protect the girl from Wretchens attacking...
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Hi I'm Chelsea I Was Born December 3 1996 in Dallas Texas I'm 14 Years Old!! Now I'm Living In Brazil!! ...... I'm Kinda Tall I Way 107 Pounds ......I'm White With Blond Hair Hazel Eyes ..... My Избранное Tv Shows Are Wizards Of Waverly Place Drake&Josh Of Course My Избранное Singers Are Justin Bieber Selena Gomez селезень, дрейк Bell!☆ ..... My Избранное Songs Are Selena Gomez Round & Round Justin Bieber Baby селезень, дрейк колокол, колокольчик, белл Our Любовь My Слоган I Любовь Being Alive :☆ ....,More Just Message Me In My Входящие Thanks Ooh Please Comment
posted by CUTEDXC
tips to get boys :)

1.NEVER right a poem about them at your birthday party in front of every one

2.dont cheat on them u will be sorry

3.be honest

4.right down the день u met dated and be came a thing to let him now u care

5.never act crazy (that mean no 50 cups of coffe)

6.spend time with him

Ты can trust me on this :)

7.he brakes up with u well i tryed mabey u dint follow my tips :3 cant help u there >:3

good luck Ты SAW NOTHING







NOTHING I TELL U >:3 NOTHING i have had lots of boyfriends my life i dumped them cuz there asses so i am taking my brake
posted by kitkat709477
1.vacuuming too often weakens the carpet fibers.Say this with a serious face,and shudder delicately whenever anyone mentions carpet fresh.

2.Dust bunnies cannot evolve into dust rhinos when disturbed.Rename the area under the диван, мягкий уголок "The Galapagos Islands" and claim ecological exemption.

3.Layers of dirty film on windows and screen provides a helpful filter against harmful and aging rays from the sun.Call it a SPF factor of 5 and leave it alone.

4.Cobwebs artfully draped over lampshades reduces the glare from the bulb,thereby creating a romantic atmosphere.If your husband points out that the light...
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