I found this and I think some of them are hilarious xD

Prank Call Idea #1
This is an oldie and I have been the victim for the same!
You call up the person and ask for a person name Joey. Since there really is no Joey, the obvious answer would be, ‘You’ve got the wrong number’! Call up the person many times during the день или week and disguise your voice in varied accents and ask for Joey. After a few days, call up your victim and say, ‘This is Joey. Have Ты taken any messages for me?’ I am sure the person at the end of the line would probably want to strangle Ты with the telephone wire...

For my friend.
__________________________________________________

If Ты climb in the saddle, be ready for the ride.

Talk slowly, think quickly.

Never approach a бык from the front, a horse from the rear или a fool from any direction.

Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whloe lot easier than puttin' it back.

Brace your backbone and forget your wishbone.

Just 'cause trouble comes visiting doesn't mean Ты have to offer it a place to sit down.

If Ты find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin'.

Don't wake a sleepin' rattler.

Don't squat witn your spurs on.

Every trail has some puddles....

1. Specify that your drive-thru order is "to go."

2. If Ты have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.

3. Start each meal by conspicuously licking all your food, and announce that this is so no one will "swipe your grub."

4. Name your dog "Dog."

5. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."

6. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what Ты think."

7. Claim that Ты must always wear a bicycle шлем as part of your "astronaut training."

8. Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything...

1. Back away from each person saying, "EW! GERMS!"

2. Sit in someone's lap and say, "I'm afraid your going to die, Jimmy."

3. Bring a radio and play screamo music.

4. Every once in a while, ask a doctor, "IS IT MY TURN YET?!"

5. Ask everyone why they're just sitting there.

6. When Dorah comes on, sing the lyrics.

7. Grab toys such as Барби Куклы and scream, "I'M GONNA KILL YOU! Look, Mr. Stuffy Wuff is happy!"

8. Yell, "IT'S A TRAP!" and tackle a Болталка patient.

9. Poke at someone's scab and yell, "IS THIS SCAB EATABLE?!"

10. When your finally called on, yell, "FINALLY! WHERE WERE YOU?!"

11. Go up to...

Ways to annoy people in Wal-Mart



Hilarious Ways to be annoying!















"Accidentally" get stuck in one of the Холодное сердце Еда doors. Give people strange looks and see if anyone helps Ты out.
Add really funny things to other peoples’ carts and watch them pay for it and see if they notice.
Around Рождество time, start caroling. Ask for money from the listeners.
As the cashier runs your purchases over the scanner, look mesmerized and say, "Wow. Magic!"
Ask if Ты can buy a shopping cart.
Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon.
Ask Someone if they know were they sell little babies!...

Jeez, so many lists about girls telling guys what they should do when imposing them and such... It's time to extinguish those high standards, with some cold, hard, facts about us. Fighting огонь with fire. *puts on sunglasses* Oh yeah.

So girls, here's a Список about boys, by a boy.


Guys look, but don't flirt!
1. We look at other girls often, as ashamed as some of us might be about it. We're just naturally distracted. It, however, doesn't mean we're flirting with them straight away. Here's a Вопрос I'd like to ask all girls in a relationship. What are Ты expecting your boyfriend to do, cheat on...

1. When Ты get pulled over, say "What's wrong, ossifer, there's no blood in my alcohol?"

2. When he asks why Ты were speeding, tell him Ты wanted to race.

3. When he talks to you, pretend Ты are deaf.

4. If he asks if Ты knew how fast Ты were going, say no, my speedometer only goes to......

5. Ask if Ты can see his gun.

6. When he says Ты aren't allowed, tell him I just wanted to see if mine was bigger.

7. Touch him.

8. When he asks why Ты were speeding, tell him Ты had to buy a hat.

9. Ask him where he bought his cool hat.

10. Refer to him by his first name.

11. Pretend Ты are gay and ask...

So, this started out as a small little thing between AudreyFreak and me, but I'd thought it'd be good for us to Комментарий on characters we don't like and don't care for, and maybe it'd be good to explain, even those characters that are glorified by the fandom but have в общем и целом, общая massive problems in general.

So, let's go!

Margery Tyrell (Game of Thrones).

AF- Unlike her less developed but actually likable book counterpart, TV Margaery (or “Marge Boleyn”, as some say, which I love) has no redeeming qualities whatsoever. She’s essentially a glorified prom Queen who just lives to cattily pick on...

A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman’s birthday but never remembers her age.
A lighter? We’re going to need a flame-thrower to light up your candles.
Actually, I wanted to get Ты something super great, super terrific, unique and beautiful for your birthday, but I don’t fit into the envelope.
Age is a high price to pay for maturity.
Age is an issue of mind over matter. If Ты don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.
Aging seems to be the only available way to live a long life сказал(-а) Kitty Collins. Be glad you’re doing it gracefully.
An old fart is as good as a new one….



(written...

WARNING: This rant will contain swearing

This episode...oh god this episode...

It starts with the Griffin family stuck in their house during a Hurricane. The Griffins (excluding Meg) decides to play a game and Meg wants to Присоединиться their game, they tell her:

"No one wants to be fingerbanged by you!"

The Griffins are as***les towards Meg. And before Ты Family Guy Фаны start to flame me, Meg is my Избранное character.

Peter decides to annoy the whole family. To which Meg opens up a can of soda. Peter snaps at Meg, and surprisingly Meg stands up for herself.

Now what amazes me is that the Показать puts her...

"Naturally"


Did it seem
To disappoint you
Living alone?
By the banks
Of your dilemma
Out of control
No one seems
To give the answers
That Ты wanna hear
What you'd give
To find a welcome here

Miles and miles of lies
Behind you
Those were the days
So many lives
You'd hope would guide you
Help Ты find a way
Now it seems to your surprise
That they left Ты lying here
What you'd give to dry
These горький tears

Did it come naturally?
Ты a million miles from home
When Ты tried so carefully
To live a life
That's not your own
Always remember
That it wasn't that long ago
I stilled the oceans
I moved...

1. Dick Trickle

A NASCAR driver that sounds like he has symptoms of prostate problems. Yeah, this one definitely deserves the вверх spot on the list.

2. Rusty Kuntz
If he were a girl, it would possibly be number one on the list; nobody would want to mess with her.

3. Grant Balfour
Grant means “to give” and ball four represents a walk in baseball. Not exactly the best name for this Oakland A’s pitcher.

4. Pete LaCock
The capitalization of this name just makes it even worse. He gets the double whammy on the first and last name

5. Guy Whimper
He is a 6’5’’, 300lbs. offensive tackle for the Jacksonville...

1.Stand Далее to a bathroom, stroking a soap bottle while saying: "It's okay my darling, we will get out soon".

2.Sniff every type of cheese in the aisle.

3.When somebody walks by you, stare at them with
BIG eyes.

4.Squirt every type of perfume Ты can find.

5.When in the bathroom,scream as loud as Ты can.

6.Tickle yourself in front of the toilet scrubbers.

7.Hop like a frog around the store.

8.Get a glowing pen and act like Ты are scanning the молоко and say:"We shall see".

9.Act like a detective, trying to find the missing Whipped Cream Monster.

10.Put on a юбка and do yoga in the middle of the store....

1. Walk into the classroom like a super spy. (keep your back on the walls as Ты walk, point your finger up like a gun, look around with shifty eyes, hum the mission impossible theme, etc.)

2. After everything your teacher says, ask why.

3. If your teacher is yelling at a classmate, wait for them to finish their tantrum then ask” DOES SOMEBODY NEED A HUG?????” very loudly.

4. If your teacher starts blowing up at Ты for saying that simply reply “Wow, I can tell you’re a blast at parties”

5. Dress up like L (Death Note) and walk in with no shoes.

6. If your teacher asks “why aren’t...

Mittens.
They warm your hands, protect Ты from the cold. They're not a bad thing.
But imagine if for your whole life Ты wore heavy mittens. If Ты dial a phone, try to use a remote control, или try to play a board game, you're still wearing mittens. Practically everything is much еще difficult.
Right there.
Practically everything is much еще difficult.
Remember that.
Now imagine this.
You're in a room with the TV on full volume. The radio is blaring loud, screeching music. The lights are flickering on and off. Everything Ты see is magnified, is a much bigger deal than it normally would...

1. Don't care about her feelings.
2. Don't allow her to go out without your permission.
3. Your friends, the game, and your video games are еще important than her.
4. She needs to get Ты Еда while Ты sit and do whatever Ты want.
5. Call her a "whore" and a "bitch".
6. Beat her when she's not obeying you.
7. Never reply to her texts. Remember, you're "busy".
8. хлопать, привкус her жопа, попка and grab her boobs.
9. Never tell her that Ты Любовь her.
10. She pays for dinner, not you.
11. Force her to have sex with you.
12. She's pregnant? Break up with her. Переместить somewhere far, far away.
13. Never use a condom, even if...

A friend of mine has another friend that is addicted to meth. She found this and gave it to her friend. She then gave me a copy because she сказал(-а) it was sad and cared enough to let me know what meth is and does.

This poem was written by a young Indiana girl who was in jail for drug charges, and was addicted to Meth. She wrote this while in jail. As Ты will soon read, she fully grasped the horrors of the drug, as she tells in this simple, yet profound poem. She was released from jail, but, true to her story, the drug owned her. They found her dead not long after, with the needle still in her...