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(A/N) Still has gayness! cussing! and sex! so enjoy biggums! ^-^ xXx


~Ty's POV~

A week after Alice found out i was gay she invited Jason and I for some coffee.

"We should go, it would be fun" Jason сказал(-а) hugging me from behind.

"Coffee with my sister would be fun?" I asked grabbing his hands perched on my collarbone.

"Yeah, now that she knows, we can be ourselves, and we're pretty fucking awesome people" Jason сказал(-а) letting go and sitting on the couch.

I sat beside him, "Well, we are fucking awesome, fine we'll go."

Jason smiled and kissed my cheek.

I turned and kissed him on his lips.

I pulled away and...
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posted by MineTurtle
This ain't mine. I twas originally written by xSHOCKYx, who сказал(-а) 'Pass this on if Ты Любовь Jesus'. So here it is.


Science vs. God
"Let me explain the problem science has with Иисус Christ." The atheist professor of philosophy pauses before his class and then asks one of his new students to stand.

"You're a Christian, aren't you, son?"

"Yes sir," the student says.

"So Ты believe in God?"

"Absolutely."

"Is God good?"

"Sure! God's good."

"Is God all-powerful? Can God do anything?"

"Yes."

"Are Ты good или evil?"

"The Bible says I'm evil."

The professor grins knowingly. "Aha! The Bible!" He considers for a...
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The Moment Of Death:
1. The сердце stops.
2. The skin gets tight and ashen in color.
3. All the muscles relax.
4. The bladder and bowels empty.
5. The body temperature begins to drop 1 1/2 degrees Fahrenheit per hour.

After 30 minutes:
6. The skin gets purple and waxy.
7. The lips, fingernails, and toenails fade to a pale color.
8. Blood pools at the bottom of the body.
9. The hands and feet turn blue.
10. The eyes sink into the skull.

After 4 hours:
11. Rigor mortis has set in.
12. The purpling of the skin and the pooling of the blood continue.
13. Rigor continues to tighten muscles for another...
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posted by Bluekait
There are certain rules of survival in horror movies. The movie Scream had some rules, but they weren’t very useful. Our rules are much better and teach Ты exactly how to survive a horror movie.

Don’t walk around saying “Hello?” like the killer is going to reply “Yeah I’m in the kitchen. Want a sandwich?”

If someone says “Oh yeah, that’s the house where Old Man Jenkins was murdered” then it’s time to Переместить house.

If your friend gets bitten by a zombie and says “Maybe I wont turn into one”, kill him. Better безопасно, сейф than sorry.

Upstairs? Bad idea. Outside? Don’t go there....
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posted by hetalianstella
This is just a collection of Цитаты which I Любовь to live by. Hope Ты enjoy them! =)

"In my mind, I am free." - Stephen Hawking

"This is one small step for man. One giant leap for mankind." - Neil Armstrong (on the Moon)

"Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened." - Dr. Seuss

“Great minds discuss ideas. Average minds discuss events. Small minds discuss people.” - Eleanor Roosevelt

"Why is it that, as a culture, we are еще comfortable seeing two men holding Оружие than holding hands?" - Ernest Gaines

"Two roads diverge in a yellow wood, and I, I took the one less traveled by, and...
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posted by TheRealSexyKate
Almost all heavy ele­ments (every­thing but Hydro­gen, Helium, and a bit of Lithium) comes from stars that have gone super­nova. Ты are made of stars.

The solar sys­tem is in orbit around the cen­ter of the Milky Way.  We’re mov­ing at about 483,000 miles an hour.

There are еще mol­e­cules in a cup of water than there are cups of water in the ocean.

There are almost еще atoms in a grain of sand, than there are grains of sand on Earth.

The word “bed” looks like a bed. Also… shark

The mir­ror image of ’3.14′ looks like the word ‘PIE‘.

Pepsi Cola was orig­i­nally...
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posted by Nein-Nein
Aokigahara (青木ヶ原?), also known as the Sea of Trees (樹海 Jukai?), is a 35-square-kilometre (14 sq mi) forest that lies at the northwest base of Mount Fuji in Japan.
The forest has a historic association with demons in Japanese mythology and is a Популярное place for suicides , The forest is a Популярное place for suicides, reportedly the most Популярное in Япония and секунда in the world after San Francisco's Golden Gate Bridge. Statistics vary, but what is documented is that during the period leading up to 1988, about 100 suicides occurred there every year.
In 2002, 78 bodies were found within...
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 Awesome
Awesome
Tianmen Cave known as Gateway to Heaven is a natural bridge/arch and is reportedly highest elevation (1520 meters) natural arch in the World. Although it is an arch but locals call it a cave. As per local history it used to be cave and in circa 263 there was a massive collapse of the cliff face, which changed the cave into an arch. At that time the mountain was called Songliang, which was then changed to Tianmen meaning sacred.

It is 131.5 meters high, 57 meters wide and 60 meters deep. It is located close to Zhangjiajie city in western Hunan Province, China and is part of Wulingyuan Scenic Area - a UNESCO World Heritage Site.

One has to climb 999 steps to reach the top.

The whole area is very scenic and was not easily accessible. However Tianmen Mountain Cableway - reportedly the longest passenger cableway in the World with a length of 7200 meters and a height gap of 1277 meters, now brings thousands of tourists to this natural wonder.
 One has to climb 999 steps to reach the вверх
One has to climb 999 steps to reach the top
 STUNT BY U.S.S.R JET FIGHTERS
STUNT BY U.S.S.R JET FIGHTERS
 Glass path(4,700ft above sea level)
Glass path(4,700ft above sea level)
 Tianmen Mountain Cableway
Tianmen Mountain Cableway
posted by unohana
"Be a leader not a follower" a saying that can mean many things. I am one of those people who doesn't copy and do what others do. When Ты a follower Ты are trying to be like someone. If Ты are trying to be like someone than Ты are a copy. Its okey to to look up to someone and try to be like them but that person has to be a good example. If Ты follow the wrong person there might be a chance of death ahead in your life. Gangs are an example of leaders and followers. Gang Leaders get their followers to send drugs and kill rivial gangs and later those rivial gangs kill the leader and later...
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This is my вверх 14 fave sayings and Цитаты :) Enjoy xx

14. Ты got to swim out of your comfort zone to catch the wave thats going to change your life -Unknown
13.Sometimes your knight in shining armour, is just an idiot wrapped in tin foil -Unknown
12."God heals and the doctors takes the fee" -Unknown
11.Ever notice that "what the hell" is always the right decision -Marilyn Monroe
10.Remember the days when ежевика and яблоко where just Фрукты -Unknown
9.When guys get jealous, its kinda cute. When girls get jealous, World War 3 is about to start -Unknown
8.You know youre in Любовь when Ты cant fall...
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posted by hetaliaitaly
1.Ride mechanical Лошади with coins fished out of the reflecting pool.

2.Try pants on backwards and Ask the salesperson if they make your butt look big.

3.At any clothing Stores take Heeps of stuff into the dressing room take an сделать ставку, ipod или something and play on it while ur bored and when its time to close say "I STILL HAVE TO TRY STUFF ON IDIOT".

4.Sneeze on the Еда sample's they have in woolworths.

5.At the bottom of an escalator, scream, “My shoelaces! Augh!” and pretend your stuck.

6.Ask the sales personnel at the Музыка store whether Ты can get a CD that Ты know they dont have and ask really...
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posted by IloveMyLord
"True friendship is like sound health; the value of it is seldom known until it be lost."
- Charles Caleb Colton

"Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born."
- Anais Nin

"My Друзья are my estate."
- Emily Dickinson

"A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out."

"A friend is one who walks in when others walk out"
-Walter Winchell

"A friend is someone who is there for Ты when he'd rather be anywhere else."
- Len Wein - Sent by Paulo Louro

"A friend is someone who knows the...
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posted by LizzyTheCat
1.Hum loudly in class and when he/she tells 'the person who is humming' to keep quiet-stop but then carry on two минуты later.

2.Tap your foot loudly when he/she is grading tests.

3.While he/she is busy explaining something, have a huge coughing fit (make sure it's loud) and don't let her finish a sentence.

4.Push your chair in and pull it out, non-stop.

5.Sigh loudly while he/she is explaining something and look longingly at a clock (or your watch if Ты are wearing one) and then look out the window and sigh again.

6.Pretend to be asleep during a lesson and when Ты get woken up, scream loudly...
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posted by tokidoki123
[The Simpsons] 1F02 - Homer Goes To College #255
Homer: I've been working on a plan. During the exam, I'll hide under some coats, and hope that somehow everything will work out.
Contributed by funnytvquotes.com



[The Simpsons] 1F05 - Bart's Inner Child #32
Skinner: Damn...they're very slowly getting away!
Moe: They're heading for the old mill!
Homer: No we're not.
Moe: Well, let's go to the old mill anyway -- get some cider!
Contributed by funnytvquotes.com



[The Simpsons] 1F06 - Boy Scoutz 'N the капот, худ #86
Homer: Marge, don't discourage the boy. Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what...
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posted by tokidoki123
[Family Guy] S01E05 - A Hero Sits Далее Door #178
Lois: Meg, you're a sweet, beautiful girl, he'll come around.
Meg: That's such a mom answer.
Lois: Well, have Ты tried Показ him the goods? How's that for a mom answer?
Meg: Creepy.
Contributed by funnytvquotes.com



[Family Guy] S03E07 - Lethal Weapons #183
Peter: Excuse me, is your refrigerator running? Because if it is, it probably runs like Ты - very homosexually.
Contributed by funnytvquotes.com



[Family Guy] S03E10 - рыба Out Of Water #181
Auctioner: We'll open this auction with this pair of panties confiscated from a prostitute.
Quagemire: Fifty...
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What Color Of Socks Are Ты Wearing?

Red = Loud
Green = Stupid
None = Freaky
Fuzzy = Gorgeous
Yellow = Innocent
Purple = A Little Too Happy
Black = Emo
Stripes = Funny
Gray = Ugly.
розовый = Preppy
Light Blue = Sweaty
Other = Hot
White = Sexy


What Kind Of Pants Are Ты Wearing?
Shorts = Cutie
Skirt/Skort = Cheerleader
Corduroy = Weirdo
Tight Jeans = Scene Kid
Ripped Jeans = Emo
Cammo = Cage Fighter
Jeans = Prep .
Pajamas = Creep
Cargo = Clown
Sweats = Athlete
Boxers = Brat
Booty Shorts = Female
Capris = Gangster
Nothing = Dare-Devil
Dickies = Weirdo
Bikini Bottoms = Tiki Girl
Other = Drug Addict


What Is Your Natural...
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posted by Usui--takumi
Why was Tigger looking in the bowl??
He was trying to find pooh.
There were three men on an airplane, one of them decides to bring a baby.There is a crash and only three parachutes so they leave the baby behind. When they get to the bottom they hear screaming. They find the baby on the ground. The dad of the baby says, '' How did Ты get down here? ''. The baby replies, '' Me not dumb, me not silly, me hold on to daddy's willy!''
What's black and white, black and white, black and white?
A пингвин rolling down a hill.
Yo momma so fat, when she jumps her own boobs slap her.
Yo momma so dumb AND fat,...
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posted by bizeshnakarki
I got it somewhere n thought i should share it.

101 Ways To Annoy People
1. Sing the Бэтмен theme incessantly.

2. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sensual massage."

3. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."

4. Learn Morse code, and have conversations with Друзья in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeep Bip..."

5. If Ты have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.

6. Amuse yourself for endless hours by hooking a видеокамера to your TV and then pointing it at the screen. <

7. Speak only in a "robot" voice.

8. Push all...
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posted by Usui--takumi
I'm Against death penalty. Looking at the death penalty system in action, Ты realize that the only purpose it serves is retribution или revenge, it is seriously (and intrinsically) flawed in application and that there is a serious and continuing risk of executing innocent people. And, it costs much еще than life in prison.
130 people wrong fully convicted people were sentenced to death and were lucky to be exonerated and released, eventually. DNA, available in less than 10% of all homicides, can’t guarantee we won’t execute innocent people. If someone is convicted and later found innocent...
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posted by Juilet1234
Mittens.
They warm your hands, protect Ты from the cold. They're not a bad thing.
But imagine if for your whole life Ты wore heavy mittens. If Ты dial a phone, try to use a remote control, или try to play a board game, you're still wearing mittens. Practically everything is much еще difficult.
Right there.
Practically everything is much еще difficult.
Remember that.
Now imagine this.
You're in a room with the TV on full volume. The radio is blaring loud, screeching music. The lights are flickering on and off. Everything Ты see is magnified, is a much bigger deal than it normally would...
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