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 If Mr. фасоль, бин had a Baby...
added by
Source: 2sleep.com
A series of 'If Mr. Bean...' pics
фото
Болталка
picture
funny
Мистер Бин
photoshopped
hilarious
фото
posted by Usui--takumi
Why was Tigger looking in the bowl??
He was trying to find pooh.
There were three men on an airplane, one of them decides to bring a baby.There is a crash and only three parachutes so they leave the baby behind. When they get to the bottom they hear screaming. They find the baby on the ground. The dad of the baby says, '' How did Ты get down here? ''. The baby replies, '' Me not dumb, me not silly, me hold on to daddy's willy!''
What's black and white, black and white, black and white?
A пингвин rolling down a hill.
Yo momma so fat, when she jumps her own boobs slap her.
Yo momma so dumb AND fat,...
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posted by 16falloutboy
Bad Shows on Disney
-------------------
So Random
A.N.T Farm
Good Luck Charlie
Jonas
Lizzie McGuire
The Proud Family
Phil of the Future
Dave the Barbarian
Brandy and Mr. Whiskers
The Buzz on Maggie
The Emperor's New School
Good Luck Charlie
Fish Hooks
Shake It Up
The Replacements
PrankStars
Jessie
Austin & Ally

Bad Shows on Cartoon Network
--------------------------------------
Cow and Chicken
I Am Weasel
The Powerpuff Girls
Ed, Edd n Eddy
Johnny Bravo
The Life and Times of Juniper Lee
Camp Lazlo
My Gym Partner's a Monkey
Class of 3000
The Marvelous Misadventures of Flapjack
The Secret Saturdays
Chower
Adventure Time...
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posted by pollydbookworm
*4 Boy friends*
>
> Once upon a time, there was this girl who had four
> boyfriends.
>
> She loved the 4th boyfriend the most and adored him with
> rich robes and
> treated him to the finest of delicacies. She gave him
> nothing but the best.
>
> She also loved the 3rd boyfriend very much and was always
> Показ him off
> to neighboring kingdoms. However, she feared that one
> день he would leave
> her for another.
>
> She also loved her 2nd boyfriend. He was her confidant and
> was always kind,
> considerate and patient with her. Whenever this girl faced...
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1. Every день at school is the same
2. Ты never know if your braids look digusting или not
3. Ты are so used to never talking that if somebody says something to you, never know how to react
4. Ты would like to think that people notice или even think about Ты but Ты are really just the big ugly quiet black girl nobody knows или cares about
5. Ты worry people will write nasty Комментарии on your Fanpop Статья that is obvioustly meant to vent your feeling out
6. On the weekend all Ты do is watch tv and sleep and play with your cat
7. When Ты only really have like 3 Друзья at school and 2 of them...
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posted by samuraibond005
I find homework to be arrogant and inefficient. Schools think they are so important that they can dictate whether или not the kid can have time after school for other, also important things. yeah, we learned all this in class and some kids didn't get it, but first of all, it is not like nobody else in the class understood it, секунда of all, they won’t get it any better without a teacher to help, and third of all, if they care enough to get anything out of their education anyway, they will ask somebody for help.
Of course, there are classes in which homework makes sense, such as my AP world...
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posted by bubbletl
1. Specify that your drive-thru order is "to go."

2. If Ты have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.

3. Start each meal by conspicuously licking all your food, and announce that this is so no one will "swipe your grub."

4. Name your dog "Dog."

5. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."

6. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what Ты think."

7. Claim that Ты must always wear a bicycle шлем as part of your "astronaut training."

8. Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything...
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posted by evangelinetom
101 Ways to
Annoy Your Roomate

1. Insist that Ты are a vegetarian and protest anytime your roommate eats meat. Then leave "Slim Jim" wrappers on the floor and lie on the постель, кровати holding your stomach every time your roommate walks in. If he/she asks about the wrappers, say Ты know nothing about them.

2. Get some hair. Disperse it around your roommate's head while he/she is asleep. Keep a pair of scissors by your bed. Snicker at your roommate every morning.

3. Every time your roommate walks in yell, "Hooray! You're back!" as loud as Ты can and dance around the room for five minutes. Afterwards, keep...
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posted by Tamar20
1. WRITE EVERYTHING IN Трофеи LOCK OVERUSE Трофеи LOCK! WHEN Ты REALLY SHOULD WRITE SOMETHING IN ALL Трофеи THOUGH, USE ALL LOWERCASE LETTERS!

2. Don't use any punctuation.

3. Purposely spell things wrong and then get really upset when people don't understand you.

4. Overuse the comma, for example: "today, I, really, had, a, bad, day."

5. Use Sticky Трофеи Capitalize every other letter.

6. Forget the grammar And when someone asks Ты what Ты mean just repeat it the exact same way.

7. Capitalize each word This annoys some people very, very much.

8. Use absolutely no vowels.

9. Answer every thing they say...
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posted by Bananaaddict
This Список was emailed to me. I thought some of them were pretty clever, so I decided to post it. My избранное are 3, 5, 22, and 23! Enjoy. :)

1. The fattest knight at King Arthur's round таблица was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.

2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.

3. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.

4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class, because it was a weapon of math disruption.

5. No matter how much Ты push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.

6. A dog gave birth...
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posted by iluvsmj
"I'm hungry." = I'm hungry.

"I'm sleepy." = I'm sleepy.

"I'm tired." = I'm tired.

"Do Ты want to go to a movie?" = I'd eventually like to have sex with you.

"Can I take Ты out to dinner?" = Same as Above

"Can I call Ты sometime?" = Same as Above

"Nice dress!" = Nice cleavage!

"You look tense, let me give Ты a massage." = I want to feel your bare skin

"What's wrong?" = I don't see why Ты are making such a big deal out of this.

"What's wrong?" = What meaningless self-inflicted psychological trauma are Ты going through now?

"I Любовь you, too." = Okay, I сказал(-а) it...we'd better have sex now!

"Yes, I...
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posted by ilovetech29
1."My son is under a doctor's care and should not take P.E. today. Please execute him."
2."Please excuse Lisa for being absent. She was sick, and I had her shot."
3."Dear School: Please ekscuse John being absent on Jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, and also 33."
4."Please excuse Gloria from Jim today. She is administrating."
5."Please excuse Roland from P.E. for a few days. Yesterday he fell out of a дерево and misplaced his hip."
6."John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face."
7."Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was hurt in the growing part."
8."Megan...
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posted by karpach_14
My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
Rodney Dangerfield

When a man brings his wife Цветы for no reason, there's a reason.
Molly McGee

Always get married early in the morning. That way, if it doesn't work out, Ты haven't wasted a whole day.
Mickey Rooney

In olden times, sacrifices were made at the altar, a practice that still continues.
Helen Rowland

Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends. Ты order what Ты want, then when Ты see what the other fellow has, Ты wish Ты had ordered that.
Unknown

I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
Rita Rudner
posted by lloonny
1. Chuck Norris does not wear a condom. Because there is no such thing as protection from Chuck Norris.
2. Some people wear Супермен pajamas. Супермен wears Chuck Norris pajamas
3. Chuck Norris will never have a сердце attack. His сердце isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.
4. If at first Ты don't succeed, you're not Chuck Norris.
5. Chuck Norris can set ants on огонь with a magnifying glass. At night.
6. Chuck Norris doesn't breathe, he holds air hostage.
7. Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
8. They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody.
9....
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posted by happyfreak
A friend of mine has another friend that is addicted to meth. She found this and gave it to her friend. She then gave me a copy because she сказал(-а) it was sad and cared enough to let me know what meth is and does.

This poem was written by a young Indiana girl who was in jail for drug charges, and was addicted to Meth. She wrote this while in jail. As Ты will soon read, she fully grasped the horrors of the drug, as she tells in this simple, yet profound poem. She was released from jail, but, true to her story, the drug owned her. They found her dead not long after, with the needle still in her...
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posted by spunkyonyx
If Ты have 3 quarters, 4 dimes, and 4 pennies, Ты have $1.19. Ты also have the largest amount of money in coins without being able to make change for a dollar.

The numbers '172' can be found on the back of the U.S. $5 dollar bill in the bushes at the base of the линкольн Memorial.

President Kennedy was the fastest Болталка speaker in the world with upwards of 350 words per minute.

In the average lifetime, a person will walk the equivalent of 5 times around the equator.

Odontophobia is the fear of teeth.

The 57 on Heinz ketchup bottles represents the number of varieties of pickles the company once...
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posted by coolkatstar
Below are 4 questions. Answer them instantly. Ты can't take your time. Answer them immediately. No pencil или paper! OK?

Let's find out just how smart and clever Ты really are.

Ready? ...

GO!!!


FIRST QUESTION: Ты are participating in a race. Ты overtake the секунда person. What position are Ты in?
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-

ANSWER: If Ты answer that Ты are first, then Ты are absolutely wrong! If Ты overtake the секунда person and Ты take his place, Ты are second! Try not to screw up in the Далее question.

To answer the секунда question, don't take as much
time as Ты took for the first question.

SECOND...
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1. Переместить the refrigerator into the bathroom (preferably in the bath tub)

2. Hang outside from an upstairs window

3. Переместить all of your furniture into their room and when they return home, insist that your imaginary friend needed some personal Космос so Ты have to Переместить into their room

4. Decorate the roof with glitter and ketchup.

5. Carve the lyrics of Elmo's song into every tree.

6. Mow the lawn in certain places to create the word 'pie'

7. Memorize pi, then illustrate it on a large sheet of paper insisting that your mother hangs it on the fridge.

8. Replace all 'grade A' papers hung up on the fridge...
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posted by x-menobsessed26
found on different websites, but crazy baby names have been driving me nuts. Time to get the word out that parents need to stop and think before they let the doctor put pen to paper.

Al Bino (albino)
Amanda Lynn (a mandolin)
Anna Sassin (an assassin)
Annie Howe (any how)
Barb Dwyer (barbed wire)
Barry Cade (barricade)
Ben Dover (bend over)
Brighton Early (bright and early)
Brock Lee (broccoli)
Chris пересекать, крест (criss-cross)
Chris P. бекон, бэкон (crispy bacon)
Constance Noring (constant snoring)
Crystal Ball
Crystal Claire Waters (crystal clear waters)
Dan Druff (dandruff)
Richard Burns (dick burns)
Richard...
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posted by invadercalliope
Well I know Эмо isn't a type of person it's just a type of music.
So it's kinda like a sad story.
It's ok if Ты cry.
So enjoy.
get your popcorn
Sit down on your chair
it didn't make me cry
STORY STARTS:
A girl named melanie
was being bullied at skool
People laughed at her
She pretended not to care and tryed not to listen
but inside it was killing her.
She felt no one cared about her
That is she died no one would attend her funeral
Until!
She met a boy within минуты of meeting him.
She was totally in love.
She knew he would never be interested in her.
So she went Главная and cryed uncontrolably.
The Далее день at...
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posted by cutiegirl01
1. Pretend that your стол письменный, стол is a drum and ur pencils are drum sticks.

2. Randomly hypervenlate out of no where.

3. when ur teacher asks if there are an questains on the testhomework shout out 'WHAT'S THE ANSWER TO # 10!'

4. break your pencil on purpse in front of them when there talking then get up and sharpen it.

5. If they ask Ты to guess theyre age (no they wont) guess 10 years older then u really think.

6. On ur paper write a Болталка год and someone elses name and write ur name on a smart kids.

7. Talk to people u hate in class constently then when they tell u to stup up say 'they're bugging me!'...
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