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 If Mr. фасоль, бин had a Baby...
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Source: 2sleep.com
A series of 'If Mr. Bean...' pics
фото
Болталка
picture
funny
Мистер Бин
photoshopped
hilarious
фото
posted by energizerbunny
5. Avril Lavigne

Not a Фан but she's so skinny!! I've never been skinny in my whole life and will never be.

4. Sophia Bush

She's pretty. She has boobs & a butt, but is not big.

3. Kaya Scodelario

Again with the skinniness. I don't think skinny is all there is, but for someone like me who's never been skinny, it's seems nice! She also has a unique face and her eyes are gorgeous!

2. Katie Cassidy

This girl is just so GORGEOUS!! And looks so classy when she dresses up.

1. Megan Fox

Not a Фан but she has to be the DEFINITION of PERFECT! PERFECT face, PERFECT body, just PERFECT!!


Some people are just lucky I guess. <33
posted by MarMar_XigLux
What Being a Retard Online can do for You

Being a retard online will bring Ты riches beyond your wildest dreams, hot girls and above all - attention: Ты crave attention, Ты absorb it like a wet sponge...Ah yes, Ты may very suffer from ADHD but it doesn't matter: no my friend, because by being a retard online Ты can get all the attention Ты need for a small fee.

Poor Literacy is Kool!

If Ты want to be a retard Ты must learn to spell like one, remember kids - poor literacy is cool! First of all we must take a lesson from the Image comics of old and remember that everything must be EXTREME!...
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posted by ultimatefredde
1. Guys for gods sake, dont pretend being something Ты aren´t girls have a sixth sense we don´t have and find out sooner или later

2. Dance!

3.Flirt, they aren´t the only ones who should do this.

4.Tell her what Ты really enjoy in life

5.Help them out when needed.

6.Avoid playing those "Gay games" with your pals, it´s just not right

7.avoid grabbing your "parts" on public. Really.

8.Be original, with gifts, don´t just give flowers, или take her to dinner, also sometimes a card или a simple walk in the park is good to try

9.Be romantic and take shyness away

10. Express your feelings, Ты wont die...
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posted by Tamar20
Have Ты ever wanted to annoy someone so bad that they want to kill you? Then this Статья is right for you! Hahaha. Ты know I've tried most of them and it does work. :P

1. Use potty humor. Announce to them that Ты have to go to the bathroom, and that Ты think that they should go too, as they have been holding it in for quite a while. When they do go to the bathroom, call out to them things like: "Are Ты doing okay in there?". To make it even еще annoying, if there are other people in the bathroom, proudly announce to them: "My friend is in there," pointing at the bathroom stall. When you...
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posted by Bananaaddict
This Список was emailed to me. I thought some of them were pretty clever, so I decided to post it. My избранное are 3, 5, 22, and 23! Enjoy. :)

1. The fattest knight at King Arthur's round таблица was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.

2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.

3. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.

4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class, because it was a weapon of math disruption.

5. No matter how much Ты push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.

6. A dog gave birth...
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posted by iluvsmj
"I'm hungry." = I'm hungry.

"I'm sleepy." = I'm sleepy.

"I'm tired." = I'm tired.

"Do Ты want to go to a movie?" = I'd eventually like to have sex with you.

"Can I take Ты out to dinner?" = Same as Above

"Can I call Ты sometime?" = Same as Above

"Nice dress!" = Nice cleavage!

"You look tense, let me give Ты a massage." = I want to feel your bare skin

"What's wrong?" = I don't see why Ты are making such a big deal out of this.

"What's wrong?" = What meaningless self-inflicted psychological trauma are Ты going through now?

"I Любовь you, too." = Okay, I сказал(-а) it...we'd better have sex now!

"Yes, I...
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posted by fly210
I bet Ты can't keep up with this oneshot.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I was walking down the road when I triped on a napkin. I know. a napkin right? but it was a wet napkin and for some reson my sidewalk is made of tial. so I slid on the napkin and bumped into the worst thing ever. Barney. Why barney was there I don't know. Barney started Пение so I shot him. But then cops came. But they giggled like little girls and shot barney them selfs. They then сказал(-а) they would give me a ride. but then I found out one of the cops was that like 12 год old boy who drove the car in rebecca...
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posted by Thecharliejay
100 Ways to Annoy People
1.Get to know a Друзья bookie and place bets for them. Insist on keeping half of any money they win.
2.Accuse people of "glue sniffing addictions" in public.
3.Call other people "Champ" или "Tiger.". Refer to yourself as "Coach."
4.Drum on every available surface.
5.Sing the Бэтмен theme incessantly.
6.Staple papers together in the middle of the page.
7.Ask 1-800 operators for dates.
8.Produce a rental video consisting entirely of dire FBI copy warnings.
9.Sew anti-theft detector strips into people's backpacks.
10.Hide dairy products in inaccessible places.
11.Insist on giving...
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posted by chattycandy
Guys don't actually look after good-looking girls. They prefer neat and presentable girls.

Guys hate flirts.

A guy can like Ты for a minute, and then forget Ты afterwards.

When a guy says he doesn't understand you, it simply means you're not thinking the way he is.

"Are Ты doing something?" или "Have Ты eaten already?" are the first usual Вопросы a guy asks on the phone just to get out from stammering.

Guys may be flirting around all день but before they go to sleep, they always think about the girl they truly care about.

When a guy really likes you, he'll disregard all your bad characteristics....
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When I don't understand a word, I always go to link to see their silly definitions before I consult an actual dictionary.
I spent some time searching up words, and some of the definitions were hilarious! So here ya go, some of the definitions I found interesting/funny:

link
There's a lot of definitions. My fave one is:
'A place where young, innocent, defencless children are kept prisoner and forced to learn useless stuff like algebra that won't count for fuck when they're old enough to get employed....
multiply out the brackets...
2a(3m+2p+12k-12-90)
...would someone like to explain to me...WHAT...
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posted by yukikiyruu
Sleeping Beauty: Perfect for the sleepyheads.
Dolly Wholly: This name is perfect for the well-dressed girl.
Honey Bunny: Ideal for your playful girlfriend.
Cutsie Wootsie: This cute name is excellent to say when Ты are pinching her cheeks with both hands.
Pretty Eyes: If your girlfriend has crystal-clear, beautiful eyes, then Ты may call her by this cute name.
Princess: It is a perfect name for your girlfriend, if she has that little girl spirit.
Pumpkin: This name can be used for casual moments.
Doll Face: This name is perfect for a girl with a cute face.
Beautiful: It is a simple but effective...
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posted by happyfreak
A friend of mine has another friend that is addicted to meth. She found this and gave it to her friend. She then gave me a copy because she сказал(-а) it was sad and cared enough to let me know what meth is and does.

This poem was written by a young Indiana girl who was in jail for drug charges, and was addicted to Meth. She wrote this while in jail. As Ты will soon read, she fully grasped the horrors of the drug, as she tells in this simple, yet profound poem. She was released from jail, but, true to her story, the drug owned her. They found her dead not long after, with the needle still in her...
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posted by smileypop9
Million has 6 zeros
Billion has 9 zeros
Trillion has 12 zeros
Quadrillion has 15 zeros
Quintillion has 18 zeros
Sextillion has 21 zeros
Septillion has 24 zeros
Octillion has 27 zeros
Nonillion has 30 zeros
Decillion has 33 zeros
Undecillion has 36 zeros
Duodecillion has 39 zeros
Tredecillion has 42 zeros
Quattuordecillion has 45 zeros
Quindecillion has 48 zeros
Sexdecillion has 51 zeros
Septendecillion has 54 zeros
Octodecillion has 57 zeros
Novemdecillion has 60 zeros
Vigintillion has 63 zeros
Googol has 100 zeros.
Centillion has 303 zeros (except in Britain, where it has 600 zeros)
Googolplex has a googol of zeros
Gazillion has 86430 zeros
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posted by spunkyonyx
If Ты have 3 quarters, 4 dimes, and 4 pennies, Ты have $1.19. Ты also have the largest amount of money in coins without being able to make change for a dollar.

The numbers '172' can be found on the back of the U.S. $5 dollar bill in the bushes at the base of the линкольн Memorial.

President Kennedy was the fastest Болталка speaker in the world with upwards of 350 words per minute.

In the average lifetime, a person will walk the equivalent of 5 times around the equator.

Odontophobia is the fear of teeth.

The 57 on Heinz ketchup bottles represents the number of varieties of pickles the company once...
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posted by coolkatstar
Below are 4 questions. Answer them instantly. Ты can't take your time. Answer them immediately. No pencil или paper! OK?

Let's find out just how smart and clever Ты really are.

Ready? ...

GO!!!


FIRST QUESTION: Ты are participating in a race. Ты overtake the секунда person. What position are Ты in?
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-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-

ANSWER: If Ты answer that Ты are first, then Ты are absolutely wrong! If Ты overtake the секунда person and Ты take his place, Ты are second! Try not to screw up in the Далее question.

To answer the секунда question, don't take as much
time as Ты took for the first question.

SECOND...
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posted by spunkyonyx
Эй, guys, found some interesting and strange facts, some are just facts I have known a long time ago(school, wandering around websites), others are ones that I have found, I apply the Источник if available. Any others Ты may want to add up feel free to do so. Enjoy!

1) Coca-cola was once green.
It was green because it was accidentally carbonated when a clerk squirted syrup into the wrong glass.

2)Barbie doll measurements if she were life size: 39-23-33. Wow... she's cut from the team.

3)Intelligent people have еще zinc and copper in their hair. *Checks... Woot!

4)You blink about 84 million times...
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1. Переместить the refrigerator into the bathroom (preferably in the bath tub)

2. Hang outside from an upstairs window

3. Переместить all of your furniture into their room and when they return home, insist that your imaginary friend needed some personal Космос so Ты have to Переместить into their room

4. Decorate the roof with glitter and ketchup.

5. Carve the lyrics of Elmo's song into every tree.

6. Mow the lawn in certain places to create the word 'pie'

7. Memorize pi, then illustrate it on a large sheet of paper insisting that your mother hangs it on the fridge.

8. Replace all 'grade A' papers hung up on the fridge...
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posted by Mel4ever
GIrls only (or gay guys..) yea both So Ты have to read this now....haha for girls eyes only here all girls! Эй, girls! IF YOU'RE A BOY, LEAVE THIS CUZ IT RUINS EVERYTHING GIRL TALK: Did Ты know Поцелуи is healthy. It's good to cry. Chicken суп actually makes Ты feel better. 94% of boys would Любовь it if Ты sent them flowers. Lying is actually unhealthy. Only apply mascara to your вверх lashes. It's actually true, boys DO insult Ты when they like you! 89% of guys want Ты to make the 1st move. Ya but 99.99% of girls want guys to make the first move. Шоколад will make Ты feel better! Most...
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posted by catgirl140
79 Things to do in an Elevator (Soooo funny)

1. Crack open your портфель или handbag, peer inside and ask "Got enough air in there?"
2. Stand silent and motionless in the corner facing the Стена without getting off.
3. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you're embarrassed when they open themselves.
4. Greet everyone with a warm handshake and ask him или her to call Ты Admiral.
5. Meow occasionally.
6. Stare at another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of THEM!" - and back away slowly.
7. Say "DING!" at each floor.
8. Say "I...
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posted by cutiegirl01
1. Pretend that your стол письменный, стол is a drum and ur pencils are drum sticks.

2. Randomly hypervenlate out of no where.

3. when ur teacher asks if there are an questains on the testhomework shout out 'WHAT'S THE ANSWER TO # 10!'

4. break your pencil on purpse in front of them when there talking then get up and sharpen it.

5. If they ask Ты to guess theyre age (no they wont) guess 10 years older then u really think.

6. On ur paper write a Болталка год and someone elses name and write ur name on a smart kids.

7. Talk to people u hate in class constently then when they tell u to stup up say 'they're bugging me!'...
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