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posted by Surfer_Girl_16
._. или (._.) indecisive
:-) или =] или :) или =) или :] или :^) или :D или :^D Smile или happy
:-L или =L или o¬o Drool или Zombie. Being tired.
,':Y An inquisitive duck.
:-( или =( или D: или D= Frown или Sad
<3 )~ A mouse
xP или XP Straining, disgust, bad joke, dead, dead from laughing, silliness
xD или XD Laughing hard (often taken as Cartman from the television
show South Park)
X8 laughing hard while covering mouth with hands
:S или :s или =S или =s confused
:Þ или :þ или =b или =Þ happy, dropped jaw, raspberry
:/ или : или =/ или = Skepticism, annoyance, uneasiness, или a slight
frown; dissatisfaction, lack of favourable...
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posted by IloveMyLord

In jealousy there is еще of self-love than love.
FranÁois de la Rochefoucauld
A competent and self-confident person is incapable of jealousy in anything. Jealousy is invariably a symptom of neurotic insecurity.
Robert A. Heinlein
There is no greater glory than love, nor any greater punishment than jealousy.
Lope de Vega
Jealous people poison their own banquet and then eat it
unknown
Peace of mind makes the body healthy, but jealousy is like a cancer.
Bible
Jealousy is the dragon in paradise; the hell of heaven; and the most горький of the emotions because associated with the sweetest.
A.R. Orage...
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This is my вверх 14 fave sayings and Цитаты :) Enjoy xx

14. Ты got to swim out of your comfort zone to catch the wave thats going to change your life -Unknown
13.Sometimes your knight in shining armour, is just an idiot wrapped in tin foil -Unknown
12."God heals and the doctors takes the fee" -Unknown
11.Ever notice that "what the hell" is always the right decision -Marilyn Monroe
10.Remember the days when ежевика and яблоко where just Фрукты -Unknown
9.When guys get jealous, its kinda cute. When girls get jealous, World War 3 is about to start -Unknown
8.You know youre in Любовь when Ты cant fall...
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posted by hetaliaitaly
1.Ride mechanical Лошади with coins fished out of the reflecting pool.

2.Try pants on backwards and Ask the salesperson if they make your butt look big.

3.At any clothing Stores take Heeps of stuff into the dressing room take an сделать ставку, ipod или something and play on it while ur bored and when its time to close say "I STILL HAVE TO TRY STUFF ON IDIOT".

4.Sneeze on the Еда sample's they have in woolworths.

5.At the bottom of an escalator, scream, “My shoelaces! Augh!” and pretend your stuck.

6.Ask the sales personnel at the Музыка store whether Ты can get a CD that Ты know they dont have and ask really...
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posted by IloveMyLord
"True friendship is like sound health; the value of it is seldom known until it be lost."
- Charles Caleb Colton

"Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born."
- Anais Nin

"My Друзья are my estate."
- Emily Dickinson

"A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out."

"A friend is one who walks in when others walk out"
-Walter Winchell

"A friend is someone who is there for Ты when he'd rather be anywhere else."
- Len Wein - Sent by Paulo Louro

"A friend is someone who knows the...
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posted by LizzyTheCat
1.Hum loudly in class and when he/she tells 'the person who is humming' to keep quiet-stop but then carry on two минуты later.

2.Tap your foot loudly when he/she is grading tests.

3.While he/she is busy explaining something, have a huge coughing fit (make sure it's loud) and don't let her finish a sentence.

4.Push your chair in and pull it out, non-stop.

5.Sigh loudly while he/she is explaining something and look longingly at a clock (or your watch if Ты are wearing one) and then look out the window and sigh again.

6.Pretend to be asleep during a lesson and when Ты get woken up, scream loudly...
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posted by tokidoki123
[The Simpsons] 1F02 - Homer Goes To College #255
Homer: I've been working on a plan. During the exam, I'll hide under some coats, and hope that somehow everything will work out.
Contributed by funnytvquotes.com



[The Simpsons] 1F05 - Bart's Inner Child #32
Skinner: Damn...they're very slowly getting away!
Moe: They're heading for the old mill!
Homer: No we're not.
Moe: Well, let's go to the old mill anyway -- get some cider!
Contributed by funnytvquotes.com



[The Simpsons] 1F06 - Boy Scoutz 'N the капот, худ #86
Homer: Marge, don't discourage the boy. Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what...
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posted by tokidoki123
[Family Guy] S01E05 - A Hero Sits Далее Door #178
Lois: Meg, you're a sweet, beautiful girl, he'll come around.
Meg: That's such a mom answer.
Lois: Well, have Ты tried Показ him the goods? How's that for a mom answer?
Meg: Creepy.
Contributed by funnytvquotes.com



[Family Guy] S03E07 - Lethal Weapons #183
Peter: Excuse me, is your refrigerator running? Because if it is, it probably runs like Ты - very homosexually.
Contributed by funnytvquotes.com



[Family Guy] S03E10 - рыба Out Of Water #181
Auctioner: We'll open this auction with this pair of panties confiscated from a prostitute.
Quagemire: Fifty...
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What Color Of Socks Are Ты Wearing?

Red = Loud
Green = Stupid
None = Freaky
Fuzzy = Gorgeous
Yellow = Innocent
Purple = A Little Too Happy
Black = Emo
Stripes = Funny
Gray = Ugly.
розовый = Preppy
Light Blue = Sweaty
Other = Hot
White = Sexy


What Kind Of Pants Are Ты Wearing?
Shorts = Cutie
Skirt/Skort = Cheerleader
Corduroy = Weirdo
Tight Jeans = Scene Kid
Ripped Jeans = Emo
Cammo = Cage Fighter
Jeans = Prep .
Pajamas = Creep
Cargo = Clown
Sweats = Athlete
Boxers = Brat
Booty Shorts = Female
Capris = Gangster
Nothing = Dare-Devil
Dickies = Weirdo
Bikini Bottoms = Tiki Girl
Other = Drug Addict


What Is Your Natural...
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posted by Usui--takumi
Why was Tigger looking in the bowl??
He was trying to find pooh.
There were three men on an airplane, one of them decides to bring a baby.There is a crash and only three parachutes so they leave the baby behind. When they get to the bottom they hear screaming. They find the baby on the ground. The dad of the baby says, '' How did Ты get down here? ''. The baby replies, '' Me not dumb, me not silly, me hold on to daddy's willy!''
What's black and white, black and white, black and white?
A пингвин rolling down a hill.
Yo momma so fat, when she jumps her own boobs slap her.
Yo momma so dumb AND fat,...
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posted by bizeshnakarki
I got it somewhere n thought i should share it.

101 Ways To Annoy People
1. Sing the Бэтмен theme incessantly.

2. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sensual massage."

3. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."

4. Learn Morse code, and have conversations with Друзья in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeep Bip..."

5. If Ты have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.

6. Amuse yourself for endless hours by hooking a видеокамера to your TV and then pointing it at the screen. <

7. Speak only in a "robot" voice.

8. Push all...
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posted by Usui--takumi
I'm Against death penalty. Looking at the death penalty system in action, Ты realize that the only purpose it serves is retribution или revenge, it is seriously (and intrinsically) flawed in application and that there is a serious and continuing risk of executing innocent people. And, it costs much еще than life in prison.
130 people wrong fully convicted people were sentenced to death and were lucky to be exonerated and released, eventually. DNA, available in less than 10% of all homicides, can’t guarantee we won’t execute innocent people. If someone is convicted and later found innocent...
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posted by Juilet1234
Mittens.
They warm your hands, protect Ты from the cold. They're not a bad thing.
But imagine if for your whole life Ты wore heavy mittens. If Ты dial a phone, try to use a remote control, или try to play a board game, you're still wearing mittens. Practically everything is much еще difficult.
Right there.
Practically everything is much еще difficult.
Remember that.
Now imagine this.
You're in a room with the TV on full volume. The radio is blaring loud, screeching music. The lights are flickering on and off. Everything Ты see is magnified, is a much bigger deal than it normally would...
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posted by someone_save_me
Beauty is our weapon against nature; by it we make objects, giving them limit, symmetry, proportion. Beauty halts and freezes the melting flux of nature.
Camille Paglia

Break a vase, and the Любовь that reassembles the fragments is stronger than that Любовь which took its symmetry for granted when it was whole.
Derek Walcott

Guided only by their feeling for symmetry, simplicity, and generality, and an indefinable sense of the fitness of things, creative mathematicians now, as in the past, are inspired by the art of mathematics rather than by any prospect of ultimate usefulness.
E. T. колокол, колокольчик, белл

I don't...
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Liquid Plummer
Warning: Do not reuse the bottle to store beverages.

Windex
Do not spray in eyes.

Toilet Plunger
Caution: Do not use near power lines.

Dremel Electric Rotary Tool
This product not intended for use as a dental drill.

Arm & Hammer Scoopable Cat Litter
Safe to use around pets.


Bowl Fresh
Safe to use around pets and children, although it is not recommended that either be permitted to drink from toilet.

Endust Duster
This product is not defined as flammable by the Consumer Products Safety Commision Regulations. However, this product can be ignited under certain circumstances.

Baby...
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474 Things To Do When You're Bored


- Wax the ceiling
- Rearrange political campaign signs
- Sharpen your teeth
- Play Houdini with one of your siblings
- Braid your dog's hair
- Clean and polish your belly button
- Water your dog...see if he grows
- Wash a tree
- Knight yourself
- Name your child Edsel
- Scare Stephen King
- Give your cat a mohawk
- Purr
- Mow your carpet
- Play Pat Boone records backwards
- Vacuum your lawn
- Sleep on a постель, кровати of nails
- DON'T toss and turn
- Boil ice cream
- Run around in squares
- Think of quadruple entendres
- Speak in acronyms
- Have your подушка X-rayed
- Drink straight shots...of...
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First off, this is not made to offend anyone! If your offended by this then I apoligize. Anyway these are the most horrible shows I have ever seen! If Ты have a reason for a Показать I put Комментарий and I might add it(ill give credit about it to Ты because its your idea :D) Anyway sorry for all this long Чтение right here but here we go:
(Cartoon Network)
-(from commercial)Secret Mountain Fort Awesome:
1.Characters are even uglier then the "Problem Solvers" characters who are pretty god damn ugly!
2.From the looks on the commercial, it seems like it has no good things that will happen или any interesting...
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1. Turn to a stranger and sing a Болталка song
2. When your on a floor someone wants to get off on make sure they don't get off
3. Say in a new jersey accent "I told my daughter not to give the dog coffee. What does she do? She gives the dog coffee! Now i've got a dead dog! A dumb daughter! And no coffee!"
4. If your with a friend, and there are еще people start a annoying conversation. (I did this one time and all the people in the elevator turned to me, someone even сказал(-а) shut up XD)
5. Pretend your driving in a car, and make motor sounds
6. Whisper into a strangers ear "I am a parol officer! Respect...
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posted by bubbletl
1. Specify that your drive-thru order is "to go."

2. If Ты have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.

3. Start each meal by conspicuously licking all your food, and announce that this is so no one will "swipe your grub."

4. Name your dog "Dog."

5. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."

6. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what Ты think."

7. Claim that Ты must always wear a bicycle шлем as part of your "astronaut training."

8. Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything...
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posted by evangelinetom
101 Ways to
Annoy Your Roomate

1. Insist that Ты are a vegetarian and protest anytime your roommate eats meat. Then leave "Slim Jim" wrappers on the floor and lie on the постель, кровати holding your stomach every time your roommate walks in. If he/she asks about the wrappers, say Ты know nothing about them.

2. Get some hair. Disperse it around your roommate's head while he/she is asleep. Keep a pair of scissors by your bed. Snicker at your roommate every morning.

3. Every time your roommate walks in yell, "Hooray! You're back!" as loud as Ты can and dance around the room for five minutes. Afterwards, keep...
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