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 Kawaii Cat: Noodles
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posted by Tamar20
Have Ты ever wanted to annoy someone so bad that they want to kill you? Then this Статья is right for you! Hahaha. Ты know I've tried most of them and it does work. :P

1. Use potty humor. Announce to them that Ты have to go to the bathroom, and that Ты think that they should go too, as they have been holding it in for quite a while. When they do go to the bathroom, call out to them things like: "Are Ты doing okay in there?". To make it even еще annoying, if there are other people in the bathroom, proudly announce to them: "My friend is in there," pointing at the bathroom stall. When you...
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I was scrolling across deviantART, and came across this HIGHLY shocking news that everyone needs to know about right now!

We all know about copyright infringement and the numerous laws preventing us from using copyrighted material. Some sites and companies take these things very seriously if Ты do not have permission from сказал(-а) company. But there are sites and companies that's only ask that Ты give credit where credit is due. Thankfully like DA.

Now, over the past few days I have just been strolling thru the Internet, visiting some of my fav sites to chill on, and every site has been posting...
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posted by chattycandy
Guys don't actually look after good-looking girls. They prefer neat and presentable girls.

Guys hate flirts.

A guy can like Ты for a minute, and then forget Ты afterwards.

When a guy says he doesn't understand you, it simply means you're not thinking the way he is.

"Are Ты doing something?" или "Have Ты eaten already?" are the first usual Вопросы a guy asks on the phone just to get out from stammering.

Guys may be flirting around all день but before they go to sleep, they always think about the girl they truly care about.

When a guy really likes you, he'll disregard all your bad characteristics....
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posted by yukikiyruu
Sleeping Beauty: Perfect for the sleepyheads.
Dolly Wholly: This name is perfect for the well-dressed girl.
Honey Bunny: Ideal for your playful girlfriend.
Cutsie Wootsie: This cute name is excellent to say when Ты are pinching her cheeks with both hands.
Pretty Eyes: If your girlfriend has crystal-clear, beautiful eyes, then Ты may call her by this cute name.
Princess: It is a perfect name for your girlfriend, if she has that little girl spirit.
Pumpkin: This name can be used for casual moments.
Doll Face: This name is perfect for a girl with a cute face.
Beautiful: It is a simple but effective...
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posted by happyfreak
A friend of mine has another friend that is addicted to meth. She found this and gave it to her friend. She then gave me a copy because she сказал(-а) it was sad and cared enough to let me know what meth is and does.

This poem was written by a young Indiana girl who was in jail for drug charges, and was addicted to Meth. She wrote this while in jail. As Ты will soon read, she fully grasped the horrors of the drug, as she tells in this simple, yet profound poem. She was released from jail, but, true to her story, the drug owned her. They found her dead not long after, with the needle still in her...
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posted by cute20k
Do Ты have a dirty mind?

1. When I go in I might cause pain. I cause Ты to spit and ask Ты not to swallow. I can fill your hole. What am I?

A dentist

2. A finger goes in me. Ты fiddle with me when you're bored. The best man always has me first. What am I?

A wedding ring

3. I'm spread before I'm eaten. Your tongue gets me off. People sometimes like to lick my nuts. What am I?

Peanut butter

4. I go in hard. I come out soft. Ты blow me hard . What am I?

Chewing gum

5. All день long it's in and out. I discharge loads from my shaft. Both men and women go down on me. What am I?

An elevator

6. I...
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posted by cute20k
Here are the signs:

1. Tech Support calls "YOU" for help.

2. Someone at work tells Ты a joke and Ты say "LOL".

3. Ты watch TV with the closed captioning turned on.

4. Ты have called out someone's screen name while making Любовь to your significant other.

5. Ты keep begging your Друзья to get an account so "we can hang out".

6. Three words: Carpal Tunnel Syndrome.

7. You've even gotten on an airplane just to meet some folks face-to- face.

8. Ты have to get a 2d phone line just so Ты can call пицца Hut.

9. Ты go into labour and Ты stop to type a special e-mail to let everyone know you're...
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posted by invadercalliope
Ok today i'm going to tell Ты a story!
Mrs.green: Class today is friday and this is your last peried but still doesn't give Ты the right to slack off! ARE WE CLEAR!
Class: YES MA'AM!
Cheral:Hi i'm Cheral this is my class i'm in the seventh grade and it's been a fun year!
Tabbi:Hi i'm new in the class i have only been here for a week and it's been fun! my rival here is cheral we sometimes have a fight with umm braging in it it's a never win или lose fight its one of those that Ты hate.
Cheral:Do Ты have that one girl that Ты don't like naturaly its not that we figght about whose better its that...
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posted by Cantwait4book5
Two sisters, one blonde and one brunette, inherit the family ranch. Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble.

In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need to purchase a бык so that they can breed their own stock.

The brunette balances their checkbook, then takes their last $600 dollars out west to another ranch where a man has a prize бык for sale. Upon leaving, she tells her sister, “When I get there, if I decide to buy the bull, I’ll contact Ты to drive out after me and haul it home.”

The brunette arrives at the man’s ranch, inspects...
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Ok this is what i do when i like a boy so just saying NOT AN EXPERT!if some of Ты do the same thing say so in your comments. if this helps Ты guys, GREAT! if anyone has any Вопросы most likely i will be еще than happy to help ok here it goes.....ps dont make fun of my spelling ok NOW here it goes.....
1)i twirl my hair between my fingers
2)i constantly look at them (corner of my eye not ful-on-makes-you-think-im-a-stalker-chick look)yet when they are talking to me i act shy and look at their shoes
3)i laugh even when they're jokes are stupid
4)i get real nervous when they are around and act...
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posted by KitkatKaysa
Your element: Air
Your ruling planets: Mercury
Symbol: The Twins
Your stone: Aquamarine
Life Pursuit: To explore a little bit of everything.
Vibration: Intense mental energy
Gemini's Secret Desire: To be ahead of the crowd

In ancient Greek mythology, Gemini's ruler - Mercury, was the light-footed messenger of the gods who darted back and forth across the heavens delivering news - which might explain why those born under the sign of the 'Twins' are always on the move; thirsty for knowledge and new experiences. Terminally curious and sometimes even mischievous, Geminis are...
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posted by cutiegirl01
1. Don't say we are bitches unless u want our brothers to come after u.

2. If we say we Любовь u u better say it back или u better утка and run.

3. If u hit us trust me when i say u just drove into fuckville.

4. When we ask u to "give us some space" u better get as far as u can.

5. If u cheat on us u may want to hide and stay hiden.

6. *4 middle school kids* If Ты want to get serious like in постель, кровати serious u have to be jokeing или high или SOMETHING!

7. If we say we're pissed off keep the hell out of our way.

8. *keep in mind* never and i mean NEVER say that we need to calm down.

9. *important* NEVER TELL US WHAT TO DO! NEVER!!!

10. Be sure to remind us that we're beautiful because we can be insecure.

11. When we ask if these pants make our butts look big AWAYS SAY NO!!

12. Sometimes we just want to be huged или some wa to know u Любовь us.
posted by karpach_13
The Constitution only guarantees the American people the right to pursue happiness. Ты have to catch it yourself. ~Benjamin Franklin

Even if happiness forgets Ты a little bit, never completely forget about it. ~Jacques Prévert

If Ты want to be happy, be. ~Leo Tolstoy

Happiness is never stopping to think if Ты are. ~Palmer Sondreal

Most people would rather be certain they're miserable, than risk being happy. ~Robert Anthony

The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up. ~Mark Twain

If only we'd stop trying to be happy we could have a pretty good time. ~Edith Wharton

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posted by MrssBieber320
Ever met that one person that Ты just wanna перфоратор, удар, пунш in the face , then someohow , Ты end up in a relationship with them , Ты fall in Любовь , and then watch things crash and burn in your face (and thats not the only thing Ты want to burn either (:]) Well if Ты still have feelings for that person im gonna help Ты get him/her back , note that this may only work for a girl though , cuause guys cant hit us , but we can surelly slap Ты guys (: , ohk so Ты could first start off by doing q of two simple things
1) light all the stuuf he gave Ты on огонь ... on his front lawn
2) give them back to...
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posted by karpach_13
Be proud of your gender
Reasons why Ты shoud be proud if your a


1. Phone conversations are over in 30 секунды flat

2. Movie nudity is almost always female

3. Ты know stuff about tanks

4. A five день vacation requires only 1 suitcase

5. Toilet lines are 80% shorter

6. Ты can open all your own jars

7. Old Друзья don't give Ты crap if you've gained weight

8. Your жопа, попка is never a factor in a job interview

9. All your orgasms are real

10. A пиво gut does not make Ты invisible to the opposite sex

11. Ты can go to the toilet without a support group

12. Your last name stays put

13. Ты can kill your own...
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posted by karpach_13
New ways to order pizza
Are Ты tired of always ordering пицца the same way? Well, this lists will keep Ты entertained for over 90 пицца orders!!!

1. Order two toppings, then say, "No, they'll start fighting."

2. Learn to properly pronounce the ingredients of a Twinkie. Ask that these be included in the pizza.

3. Use CB lingo where applicable.

4. Order a Big Mac Extra Value Meal.

5. Terminate the call with, "Remember, we never had this conversation."

6. Tell the order taker a rival пицца place is on the other line and you're going with the lowest bidder.

7. Give them your address, exclaim "Oh,...
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1)Devise a secret code with your Друзья then hand in the homework in that code
Continually ask Вопросы so that the professor can’t give homework
Answer the teacher’s Вопросы in slow motion 2)Answer Вопросы only with one word
3)Scream Болталка words without anybody noticing it’s you
4)Continuously yawn until everyone is yawning
5)Ask your professor personal questions
6)Every time the professor finishes talking clap
7)Eat paper
8)Talk very fast
9)Call the professor “Mom” или “Dad”
10)Count your hair
11)Talk with an accent
12)Answer Вопросы in a different language
13)Fake spasms
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Ты know you're a 'Furry Fan' when...
Rabies replaces cancer as your number one disease concern.
Your Избранное character from звезда Trek is Lieutenant M'Ress (from the animated series).
You think "Beauty and the Beast" was spoiled by Beast becoming human.
You replace Elle McPherson pinups with those of Amy the Squirrel, Erma Felna, или Minerva Mink.
You slip the word 'fur' into as many places as possible in your mail.
You can identify a captionless book illustration as being Doug Wingers' in under ten seconds.
None of your Избранное female (or male) fiction characters are actually human.
You go...
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posted by meow_girl
*One night,Selena,Demi and Taylor were having a concert.And Miley was there for some reason.*

In the middle of true Друзья Joe Jonas ran on stage,knocked the гитара player (Billy луч, рэй Cyrus) off the stage,Breaking his leg.

Miley:That was my dad!You ass!

Joe:Yeah no one cares.Demi,Selena,Taylor I Любовь Ты all!

Miley:What about me?

Joe:What about Ты man whore?

Miley:I'm a girl!

Joe:That's not what your boyfriend said!

Miley:At least I'm not pregnant like you!

Joe:Those were just rumors!!!


Joe:They were!


Simon:I don't believe you!

Demi:Simon Cowell?What are you...
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Being locked in a walk-in closet must get boring...

Somethings to do to pass time;

- пересекать, крест dress.

- Make faces in the mirror.

- Make a mannequin out of something, dress it up, and throw a чай party.

- See how long Ты can walk in the most uncomfortable shoes.

- Dress in the opposite of your style.

- Try to touch the ceiling.

- [Like a pile of leaves] Make a pile of clothes and run and dive into it.

- See which clothes are edible.

- See if Ты find anything misc. that really just shouldn't be in a closet.

- If Ты do, lay it all out and try to see what it does.

- Make ropes by tying shirts/pants/dresses together, and hang them from the ceiling, and свинг, качели from one to another, yelling like Tarzan.

- Reorganize by colour.