1. When Ты get pulled over, say "What's wrong, ossifer, there's no blood in my alcohol?"
2. When he asks why Ты were speeding, tell him Ты wanted to race.
3. When he talks to you, pretend Ты are deaf.
4. If he asks if Ты knew how fast Ты were going, say no, my speedometer only goes to......
5. Ask if Ты can see his gun.
6. When he says Ты aren't allowed, tell him I just wanted to see if mine was bigger.
7. Touch him.
8. When he asks why Ты were speeding, tell him Ты had to buy a hat.
9. Ask him where he bought his cool hat.
10. Refer to him by his first name.
11. Pretend you...
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