Ранма ½ Club
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Disclaimer: I’m not Rumiko Takahashi, and I neither own Ranma ½ nor some song lyrics in this story.
000
It was one день before New год arrived. At the Tendos’ living room…

“Hello! Is anybody home? You’ve got mail!” – A postman knocked the door.

“I’ll get it.” – сказал(-а) Ranma. The postman gave him a yellow poster that said: “You are welcomed to our Royal New год party tonight at our restaurant! There is going to be delicious food, great games for guests, wonderful New год Countdown, etc, and the most amazing…
OUR EXCITING Пение CONTEST!!!
THE WINNER RECEIVES A LOVELY PRIZE!”

“Hmm… A lovely prize for the winner huh…” – Ranma speaks to himself. – “I wonder what it is…”
Suddenly, a voice came out from upstairs: “Whoa! It looks great on Ты indeed, Akane!”

“Hey!” – Shouted Ranma. – “What’s going on?”

“Hmm… Ranma…” – Akane – in her brand new cute blue dress – appeared behind him. – “I got an invitation to a New год party at the restaurant nearby, so… What do Ты think? Do I look good?”

“Hmm… Ты look so…” – Answered Ranma. – “…”

“UNCUUUUUUUTE!!!!!!!!”

SLAM!

“Ouch.” – сказал(-а) Ranma, after being hit by Akane with a чай table.

“Humph.”

Ranma stood up and took a real close look at Akane. And suddenly, his sight stopped at her chest.

“Hey Ranma! What are Ты looking at?” – Asked Akane.

“Nothing… It’s just… Where did Ты get that little badge?” – Ranma asked and pointed at her blue heart-shaped badge.

“If Ты want to know, Ryoga-kun bought it for me!” – Akane replied. – “What do Ты say about it?”

“UUUUURRRRGGGHHH… that little idiot Ryoga… He bought Akane… a HEART-SHAPED badge!!!” – Thought Ranma. He replied: “Well… it’s nice… It goes great with your dress…”

“Really? Thank you, Ranma!” – Akane smiled.

“KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK!”

“Oh. I’ll get it!” – сказал(-а) Akane.

“Ohh, nihao Ranma!” – Shampoo in a pretty red Chinese-styled dress arrived with a big gift box on her hands. – “Shampoo have New год gift for you!”

“Th… thank you.” – Replied Ranma. – “Says, what’s with the dress up there?”

“Aiyaaa! I wear beautiful dress because I going to New год party at the restaurant nearby! Ranma take me there yes?”

“Hey!!!” – Akane сказал(-а) angrily.

“Ranma open gift now yes?”

“Okay…” – Ranma carefully opened the gift box. There was a lovely black tuxedo in it.

“Ranma put tux on and take me to party yes?”

“I’ll think about it.” – Replied Ranma.

“By the way Ranma, there going to be Пение contest at the party! Winner receive a free trip to…”

“To China, right? Yes!… Then I can get a cure for this crazy curse! I’m putting on my tux right away, Shampoo!” – Ranma сказал(-а) in excitement.

“I no remember. I guess it is to China.” – сказал(-а) Shampoo. – “Oh! Ranma! Hurry up and take me to party!”

SPLASH!!!

“Akaneeee…!!! What was the big idea??!!!!” – Shouted Ranma in female form.

“I’m sorry Ranma, but we’re out of hot water!” – сказал(-а) Akane.

“Aiyaaa… That mean Ranma no can wear tux?” – Shampoo сказал(-а) in disappointment.

“Hmm, this should be easy. Watch this… Ta-da!” – Ranma put on an оранжевый dress within a few seconds. – “I’m not sure I can sing well, but I may win the contest with my cuteness!”

“Ranma, Ты are a jerk…” – Grunted Akane. – “Hey Shampoo, I think I’m starting to doubt about this… What if the whole thing is one of Mousse’s evil schemes on stealing Ты back from Ranma? Seriously.”

“Aiyaaa! It no is мусс plan! He gone back to China for training!” – Answered Shampoo.

“Oh, thank goodness…” – сказал(-а) Ranma. Suddenly, a strange masked man appeared behind them: “Who сказал(-а) that?”

“Okay… Who are you?” – Asked Ranma.

“I am…” – The man took off his mask. – “You still remember Mousse, don’t you? He hasn’t gone back to China for training. He is standing right here in front of you, and he was on the ceiling for the whole time! He heard that the three of Ты are going to a New год party, and Shampoo, it’ll be a pleasure for this man to escort Ты there…” – While saying, мусс opened his arms and hugged Ranma.

“Put your glasses on, idiot!” – Ranma whacked мусс on the head with one of her shoes. –
“Shampoo is on your left!”

“Oh… Shampoo, forgive me.” – мусс сказал(-а) after putting on his glasses.

“Shampoo no want forgive stupid Mousse.” – Shampoo сказал(-а) in anger.

“Hey, there is a good news for you, silly утка boy.” – сказал(-а) Ranma. – “There is a Пение contest at the party tonight, and the winner gets a free trip to China. Do Ты wanna cure your curse?”

“Yes, I do! If I win, I will never have to turn into a утка again! Yeah!!” – мусс shouted out loud in excitement.

“But wait!” – сказал(-а) Akane. – “Are Ты sure Ты can sing? It’s a Пение contest, my friend.”

“Yes I am. Let me try.” – He took a deep breath and began. – “WE WIIIISH… YOUU… A MERRY CHRISTMAAAAAAS!!! WE WISH YOUUUU A MERRYYYYY CHRIIIIIIIISTMAS!!! WEEE… WISH Ты A MEEEEERRY CHRISTMAS!!! And a Happy… NEEEEEWWW…
YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRR!!!”

Bam!

“Oh my god… Akane fainted! Shampoo, give me a cup of water!” – Ranma сказал(-а) in panic.

“HEY!” – Shampoo furiously shouted. – “Mousse cut it out!!!! Ты break our ear!!!”

“Tell me about it.” – Ranma agreed. – “How can Ты cure your утка curse if Ты SOUND like a утка yourself? Hahaha…”

“Ranma… How dare you…” – мусс took out dozens of daggers from his sleeves.

“Stop it! Shampoo sing better than Mousse! I can win the contest!” – Replied Shampoo.

“Prove it.” – сказал(-а) Akane.

“Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle all the way! Oh what fun it is tonight in a one-horse open sleigh! Hey! Jingle Bells! Jingle Bells! Jingle all the way! Oh what fun it is tonight in a one-horse open sleigh!” – Shampoo sang with such a sweet high-pitched voice.

“Bravo! Bravo! That’s a nice performance!” – Ranma excitedly gave an applause.

“Hey Shampoo, why don’t Ты think that I can sing better than you?” – Akane сказал(-а) after hitting Ranma with a чай table.

“Akane prove it!” – Replied Shampoo.

“Happy New Year, Happy New Year! May we all have a vision now and then, of the world where every neighbor is a friend… Happy New Year, Happy New Year! May we all have our hopes, our will to try… If we don’t, we might as well lay down and die…” – Akane suddenly stopped and pointed at Ranma on the floor. – “Like that BAKA!!!!”

“Hmm… It sure is great… Ты do have a beautiful voice, Akane!” – сказал(-а) Mousse.

“Huh. I challenge you, Akane!” – сказал(-а) Shampoo.

“Oh, I accept!” – Replied Akane. – “What are Ты waiting for? LET’S FIGHT!!!!”

“This is too idiotic. Come on Mousse, или we’ll be late for the party!” – сказал(-а) Ranma, as she and мусс left the house.

“Ranma wait for me!!!” – Yelled Shampoo.

“Huh. Go with your beloved husband. I don’t care.” – сказал(-а) Akane.

“Aiyaaa! Akane want defeat me in Пение contest yes?” – Replied Shampoo.

“Okay… I’m going…” – Answered Akane.

oOo

As the group went down the street, they heard a strange voice singing: “I wanna wish Ты a Merry Christmas, I wanna wish Ты a Merry Christmas, I wanna wish Ты a Merry Рождество from the bottom of my heart! Oh, is that Akane Tendo? Along with the beautiful Pigtailed Girl? Oh my sweethearts, I shall escort Ты two to the Royal New год party!”

“It’s Kuno… Don’t mind everyone, just act as if he were not here!” – сказал(-а) Akane, and all four of them just kept their head down. Suddenly…

“Pigtailed Girl! I Любовь Ты so much! I want Ты to come with me to the par…”

“EEEK! He hugged me from behind!!” – Screamed Ranma. She kicked him hard in the face. – “What do Ты want, Ты jerk Kuno?!!”

“I want to have a дата with my beautiful ladies!” – Kuno replied in tears.

“You... you…” – Ranma almost kicked him again and suddenly changed her voice: “Heyyy, Kuno-sembai! Ты wanna have a дата with me, right? If Ты beat me in a Пение challenge, I promise I’ll go out with you! If Ты lose…”

“You’ll leave in PEACE and in PIECES!” – сказал(-а) Akane.

“Why don’t Ты go first, Kuno-darling?” – Asked Ranma.

“Okay, here I go. Feliz Navidad…” – Kuno began singing. Meanwhile, Akane, Ranma, Shampoo and мусс silently walked away.

“Phew. Luckily we run away. Kuno worse singer than Mousse!” – Shampoo breathed hardly.

“Tell me about it. He totally broke my ears!” – мусс agreed.

“Just run away before Kuno finds out, guys.” – сказал(-а) Akane, and the group ran as fast as they can.
As the pack continued their walk, they heard a strange voice again: “La la la la, la la la la, la la la la…”

“I heard that extremely high voice somewhere… Uh-oh, Kodachi Kuno is coming! What are we gonna do?” – Ranma confusedly asked.

“I know! Guys, cover your ears! Mousse, sing right now!” – сказал(-а) Akane.

“Okay, if Ты insist. Ahem… WEE… WIIIIISH…”

“AAAAHHH!!! What is that HOOOORIBLE sound! Oh, it is killing me! HEEELP ME, RANMA-SAMA, IF Ты CAN HEAR ME FROM HERE!! AAAAHHH!!” – Kodachi screamed and fainted.

“Thanks a lot, pal.” – Ranma smiled.

“Get serious, guys. Do I sing that badly?” – Asked Mousse.

“No. Not at all.” – Ranma replied, while she was thinking: “Oh man, I swear his voice sounds like a horn!”

They continued walking down the улица, уличный and encountered Mikado Sanzenin and Azusa Shiratori.

“Oh, is that the beautiful Ranma Saotome? Oh, my lovely girl, I shall give Ты a Happy New год Kiss for tonight!” – Sanzenin сказал(-а) as he began to get his lips closer to Ranma’s.

“JERK! Who сказал(-а) that Ты can Kiss me?!” – Ranma punched Sanzenin right in the left eye. – “Leave us alone!”. Meanwhile, Azusa takes a close look at мусс and finally climbed up on his back.

“Aahh! So cute! Olivia! Olivia! Give me my Olivia! GIMME! GIMME! GIMME!” – Azusa took out her hammer and smacked Mousse’s head at every “GIMME!”. Well, Ты know, she wanted Mousse’s glasses – which she calls “Olivia” – and tried to take them off from his forehead.

“Spoiled brat!” – Shampoo angrily shouted as she knocked Azusa off from Mousse’s back. – “Why Ты mess with Mousse?”

“Shampoo! You’re finally worried about me!” – Cried Mousse.

“The legendary Golden Pair.” – сказал(-а) Akane. – “I challenge you! If Ты want to mess with us, Ты must beat us in a Пение challenge right now! We will go first! Start now, guys!”

“Silent night, Holy night…”

“Huh. Ты guys are such amateurs!” – сказал(-а) Azusa.

“Listen carefully, losers.” – Sanzenin smiled as if he won. And then, the pair began: “... Oh what fun it is tonight in a one-horse open sleigh!!!”

“That was… perfect!” – Ranma сказал(-а) in disappointment.

“Aiyaa! What we do now?” – Shampoo confusedly asked.

“Hey! There’s a lovely little bird!” – Ranma pointed to the sky.

“Where? Where? Where’s the bird? I WANT MY HANNAH!! AAAHHH!!!” – Azusa began to cry.

“Let’s go, guys.” – Akane сказал(-а) and the pack walked away in peace.

oOo

The Royal New год party at Sakura restaurant.

“And now, ladies and gentlemen, it’s time for our Пение contest!” – сказал(-а) the host.

“Okay guys. Who’s gonna do this?” – Asked Akane.

“Mousse, if Ты go there, I splash you!” – Shampoo threatened мусс and said: “I want compete!”

“Hmm… I think I’ll let Ranma do this. This “winning a trip to China” thing is all HIS idea, so I’ll let him compete using his “cuteness”. Let’s see if that idiot wins…” – Akane pushed Ranma onto the stage.

“That girl is so cute!”

“So lovely!”

“I’m cheering hard for you, Pigtailed Girl!”

“Eh? Kuno? What is that jerk doing here?” – Thought Ranma.

“So, what’s your name?” – The host asked her.

“Um… I’m Ranma Saotome.” – Replied Ranma.

“Ladies and gentlemen, lovely Ranma Saotome here is going to give us a great performance! A big applause please!!!”

“Woo-hoo! Go Pigtailed Girl!” – Kuno’s shout must be the loudest one of all, and that gives Ranma a thought: “Yeah, if I win the contest, I can go to China and get rid of this stupid curse, and there would be no еще “Pigtailed Girl”! I can do this! I CAN DO THIS!!!”

And here we go, Ranma began her performance:

“Happy New Year! Happy New Year! May we all have a vision now and then, of the world where every neighbor is a friend… Happy New Year! Happy New Year! May we all have our hopes, our will to try… If we don’t, we might as well lay down and die…
Ты and I!
And I!”

“Great job!”

“Such a sweet singer, don’t Ты think?”

“I think she’ll win the contest for sure!”



“Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of the Пение contest tonight is… Ranma Saotome!!!”

“Oh my god… am I dreaming? Akane, slap me!” – сказал(-а) Ranma.

SLAP!

“Hee hee! No, you’re not!” – Akane giggled after slapping Ranma’s right cheek really hard.

“Akane, you’re so uncute!” – Ranma replied. Akane slapped her other cheek.

“I’m not a утка any more… La la la…”

“Aiyaaa! мусс begin singing! Ranma, cover his mouth! ” – сказал(-а) Shampoo.

“Heyyy… What is the meaning of this?!” – мусс angrily сказал(-а) with his mouth covered by Ranma. Akane and Shampoo burst laughed.

“And the winner received a trip to…”

oOo

“RANMAAAAA!!! Ты HAVE TO PAY FOR THIS!!!” – мусс furiously shouted and sneezed: “Ah choo!!! What are we going to do?”

“Ranma, what the meaning of this?” - Shampoo also angrily asked.

“Forggg… give me, gggg… guys!” – Ranma shook under the freezing cold wind and snow. – “I didn’t knnnnn… now that th… th.. ah choo! This was a trip to… to… MOSCOW!!!!!”

“Ranma…” – Akane shook under fury. – “RANMA NO BAKAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!”

“Aahh!!! AKANEEEEE!!! St… t… вверх it, would you! Ah CHOOOOOO!!!”

***The End***
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