Alice Cullen [Hale]
If i was able to feel physical pain, to shed a tear.- i would have now. It was not the first time this akward feeling was inside of me, but then again things would never change. I had to take of what was number one on my list, Jasper. Of course my family mattered, they always would.- and they knew it. But when things became too difficult, i had to be the bigger person.
It was hard to describe my lover, cause not even the best words would have been enough for him. He was loving and caring, yet he was intelligent and sensitive.- but he still had this one issue. It was not too easy for either of the family to get used to Bella's scent, but he still wasnt over it. And allthough he had learnt to hide his thoughts from Edward, he would always tell me. And so it was no suprise when he came up, and i was able to see the pain in his face.
My voice would change to that low and light whisper, making sure it was between him and me. Of course i saw it, of course i would not say a word.- not until now.
Alice Cullen: ''You have that leaving face, again.''
Jasper Hale: ''I cant bare it anymore. I wish i was stronger.''
Alice Cullen: ''This has nothing to do with strenght, Jasper. You just lived a different life for so long, and it will become easier. So when are we leaving.''
He looked at me, his golden brown eyes filled with this shame. Something that was not necessary, but it made me feel even more love. I reached out my hand, rubbing one of his many scars.- wondering if he ever would get over all this pain.
Jasper Hale: ''I cant make you leave, again and again. Its one thing that I keep running, hurting them. But Bella needs you, and so does Edward. I can feel that.''
I had to giggle, but wasnt really sure where it came from. I didnt think of his words as a joke, but on the other hand it felt like that. How could i have ever been without him, how did i exist without his love.- before? So i would have to make myself clear, just like always.
Alice Cullen: ''God knows i have tried to change my priorities, but that doesnt matter. No matter where you go Jasper, i will go there with you. If you never wanna come back, i will stay with you. What other chance do i have? And one day, it will be goodbye for the last time.''
I gave him all the positive images i had, made him feel what i felt. Never would he try to manipulate my feelings, but none than less he felt them. So he knew just as good as i did, that there was only us out there. And maybe he wouldnt be suprised knowing, that i already had packed our car. Leaving a note to the family, they would understand.
On my inner eye i saw all their lovley, beautiful faces looking at us. Esme would be broken, her round human like face would be filled with shadows. And then there was Carlisle, the leader but for me the father of this coven. Emmett and Rose would probably understand, being so into each other that nothing was able to put them down. But the last two put some concern in my head, Edward and his Bella. It was not my style to leave them behind, unprepared and confused.
Jasper Hale: ''You feel akward.''
Alice Cullen: ''Dont sneak around in my emotional chaos.''
I was still friendly but he got the warning, cause i was damn serious about that. Without wasting any more time, i grapped his hand leading him into the garage. He would raise one of his eyebrows, then realizing that i already had us set up. All papers, clothes and what else we needed. I gave him the key to the brandnew Mercedes, entering the passenger's seat. This time i didnt say anything more, just looking at him.
Jasper Hale: ''Your just impossible.''
Alice Cullen: ''So i have been told... .''
Jasper eventually brought his face close to mine, his hand running through my short dark hair.- pulling me close. For moments he would lock me into that kiss, then starting the motor not sure where we would go.
TBC by Jasper Hale ONLY