Герои Олимпа The Jealous Mortal

maiden4ever posted on Aug 01, 2012 at 09:58PM
Hey Guys! So, this is my new forum, The Jealous Mortal, and i hope you like it!

This idea just hit me while i was re-reading the Lost Hero for the 13th time, so i'm trying it out. I think it's going to start in the middle of the year when Battle of the Labrynth took place.

Disclaimer: I DO NOT own any ideas, characters, etc, mentioned in any of Rick Riordan's books. This is just for fun and not official at all.

Now that we have the legal stuff taken care of, i hope you enjoy. I might not to write on here as often as i would like to,.but please be patient with me. This story can go any way, and i hope it will be awesome.

PLEASE KEEP SPAMMING TO A MINIMUM!!! A little comment here or there is ok, but PLEASE try not to digress (My favorite word of the week) too much.

Thaks! XD
-Maiden4ever

Герои Олимпа 330 Ответы

Click here to write a response...
Previous

Showing Replies 1-50 of 330

Больше года maiden4ever said…
Ch. -1- Prologue

The two girls met on top of the hill, amid the multi-coloured leaves of late autumn, shivering against the coldness of the almost-winter feel in the air.

"Hey" said the one to the right as the two 12-year-olds started walking down the hill, their feet slapping against the cracked concrete sidewalk in perfect unison.

She was the tallest, with shiny black hair in a french-braid extending to her shoulder blades. Her school uniform was wrinkled, and one shoe was untied. Her name was Pandamilon, or Pan, Jones. Her sky blue eyes narrowed in concentration, brows furrowed, as she looked behind her, as if to make sure there was nothing behind them.

The one on the right nodded in return, head buried in a book. She had long tangled blond hair, the colour of the dead autumn grass in front of the houses they passed. Her sharp grey eyes, missing nothing, looked up and scrutinized her best friend for a moment before going back to her book. Then, speaking quietly asked, "They were fighting again, weren't they?"

Pan sighed, "Why can't i just go to Camp Half Blood already? I mean, really? Why should i keep on having to live with my dad and fake mother? I already know my real mother is Aphrodite, and yours Athena."

"Don't worry," murmered the other girl, Anne, engrossed in the object in her hands. "We'll get claimed soon enough."

Of course, the two seventh graders hadn't been claimed yet. They hadn't even been to Camp Half Blood. Somewhere in their minds, well, at least Anne's, there was that little bit of reason, of logic, that squeaked timidly, "You know that it's just a story, don't you?" The little bit of common sense was hushed up quickly, though. Smothered by hope.

Anne and Pan had heard the thought-to-be myth from Anne's cousin 2 yers ago. Both, especially Pan, who had a complicated home life full of shouting and broken plates, had embraced the idea whole heartedly, researching greek mythology on the internet and in dusty libraries, fantasizing about what god or goddess would be their parent.

Pan agreed, and the two friends walked toward school, making idle chatter, Pan walking in front. The two were inseprable, two peas ina pod, the perfect match. Pan was obviously the ring leader, it was more of her personality. But it suited Anne fine, as she was the more shy, quiet type. At school, you could find them always together,talking about Greek mythology. People began to just think of them as a pair. Pan and Anne. Anne and Pan. But unlike some people, they enjoyed the reputation. I guess that's why everyone was so surprised when 2 months from then, in December right after Anne's 13th birthday, Pan showed up alone. When people asked, she said she didn't know where her best friend was. Like she had dissapeared overnight.

After a day or two, there were investigations. There was no sign of a struggle anywhere near her house. The police eventually gave up the possibility of kidnap. There was a background check of her also yellow-haired, grey-eyed dad, as her mother had been absent since she was a baby, but no evidence was found of any trouble. After a month or two, the case was closed, the state saying that she had probably run away and that she would turn up soon. She didn't. No, Anne didn't return until late August 2 years after she dissapeared. Her dad had moved away. She apeared at the door of a black-haired teen at the dead of night, tired and bloody, an apology on her lips and a favor to ask. To be foregived.

last edited Больше года
Больше года maiden4ever said…
big smile
Tell me what you think! I hoped you like it! :)
Больше года 8xchristellax8 said…
smile
its good! and at first i thought it was thalia and annabeth but theyre not the same age or anything
last edited Больше года
Больше года maiden4ever said…
Lol. @8xchristellax8, thanx! :) you might want to check the last paragragh, cuz i made an edit. I hope you'll stick around for more!!!
last edited Больше года
Больше года meredog said…
monkey
I do NOT get what just happened at all!!!!!!!! Can someone explain it please?????
Больше года corrected said…
sounds good and like what meredog said could u explain a bit
Больше года Phoenix_Stone said…
big smile
OMG. :O

THAT WAS AWSHUM. xD

You write very well!! :P

Please post soon!! :D

~ Phoenix
last edited Больше года
Больше года goddessgirl said…
big smile
That was amazing!!!! Post more soon!!!!
Больше года kkw1700 said…
That was wonderful! Youre very good
Больше года maiden4ever said…
@corrected and @meredog- that was the prologue of the story where i just tried to introduce my characters. Right now, what the reader should know is that both girls have heard about camp half blood, and they both, but especially pan, want to go there. Then, a couple days after her birthday, Anne dissapears. The real story is going to start 2 years later in august.

Thanks everyone for all the compliments! I will probably write the first chapter this afternoon! :)
last edited Больше года
Больше года maiden4ever said…
monkey
BTW: the prologue took place during the Lightning Thief.
Больше года midnight123 said…
laugh
that was good @maiden4ever ! speaking of writing, i have to give you your writer's nb from school back...
Больше года corrected said…
ok post soon
Больше года maiden4ever said…
blush
@midnight123-yeah, thanx. And i need to give you back ur sixth hp book.

Больше года maiden4ever said…
cloudy
Ch.1- The Truth, and the Anger

Pan woke up to hear soft tapping on the front door. She had fallen asleep on the couch while her parents were arguing in the kitchen. By the looks of it, they had gone to bed, foregetting about her. Foregetting about their only daughter. Again.

She stood up groggly and made her way to the door, throwing her messy black hair into a bun and straightening her blue tanktop, squinting hazily as she turned on the light.

On the way, she peeked into the kitchen to see what time it said on the microwave. 12:34 p.m. Who would come at this hour? She thought.

Pan opened the chipped white-painted door, whincing as it squeaked on rusty hinges. "What do you want?" She groaned.

Pan rubbed her eyes, to make sure she wasn't seeing things, and took a step back on the worn wooden floors as she realised who it was.

Sure, she looked different. Her blond hair, once long and wavy, was chopped short to her shoulders, and along with the worn combat boots and bow and quiver full of arrows at her side, she looked different than two years ago. Her grey eyes, striking with the black eyeliner, pierced the night, like an owl in the darkness. An owl pendant hung on her slim neck.

She looked fiercer, more confident. But, the thing that stood out the most, and that Pan was shocked to see, was the shirt. Oh gods. The orange T-Shirt. It couldn't be. It just wasn't possible. But here was the evidence, right in front of her.

"A-Anne?" Pan exclaimed, her face pale in the yellow glow of the light bulb above her head.

"You- Wha- Anne?!?"

Anne smiled sheepishly and crossed her arms, as if to ward off what might be coming her way. "Hey Pan. Can i come in?"

Pan stepped aside and let Anne come through, before closing the door slowly, as if in a daze.

Anne looked around. "This hasn't changed a bit since the last time i was here, huh Pan?" She said, a small smile on her face. "Remember that night? We stayed up to 11 talking about ancient Greece, and it took my dad eight calls and about a hundred txts to get me out of the door-"

Pan interrupted. "Foreget about that! Where have you BEEN? It's been 2 years! 2 YEARS since you dissapeared, and the best you could say was Hey Pan, can i come in? What happened?!? Where did you go? We thought you were kidnapped, or worse! I thought you were dead! Your dad moved away!" Pan clenched her fists, her nails digging into her palms. What was happening? It was like seeing a ghost.

"Yeah, i know. I wen't to his old house, but he wasn't there. And as for where i've been," She sighed and plopped down on the worn old couch and scooted foward and leaned in, as if to tell Pan a secret. "Pan, i've been at Camp Half Blood."
last edited Больше года
Больше года maiden4ever said…
hmmm
Hey guys! Sorry, it doesn't really go much farther in the story, but i dont have time to finish it. :( I hope you still like it though! :)
Больше года maiden4ever said…
zzz
I dont think i will post the next chapter until 5 people have commented.
Больше года hi_ello_hola said…
POST!!!
Больше года 8xchristellax8 said…
big smile
amayzeng!!! so just to get this straight, anne is NOT annabeth, right? anne is a different girl?
Больше года kkw1700 said…
#3!!! :)
Больше года corrected said…
poost
Больше года goddessgirl said…
I'm the fifth person!! post!!!
Больше года maiden4ever said…
@8xchristellax- No, Anne is Not Annabeth, though thinking back on it, i did kind of make it sound like it was her. XD

Ch.2- The Chapter I Don't Know the Name Of

Pandamilon fell back onto the other couch facing Anne. She gasped. Never, not once in those two years Anne had been gone, did she even think about her old best friend going to Camp Half Blood. She then realised, It's not that Anne had gone to Camp Half Blood -Pan had already known that Anne and herself were demigods- It was that Anne had gone without her.

The place that she herself had been dreaming of for years. The place that would be her new home, away from the screaming, fighting, and bancrupsy.

And then, just then, Pan knew, she could never, EVER forgive Anne for leaving her behind, to endure this rotten, dead-end life. They were enemies from now on. But first, some information.

Pan fixed a smile on her face, and leaned foward too, as if they were friends again, gossiping about what so-and-so had worn to the dance, or who so-and-so had a crush on.

"Really?" Pan exclaimed, forcing her eyes to light up. "Omg! What's it like. What do you do? Do you have any new friends? Have you fought any monsters? How did you get there? Who's your parent? I bet it's athena.

Anne smiled, looking relieved. Obviously, she had been worried of recieving a different response, one that happened to be going through Pan's head at the time, along with murderous thoughts that if heard aloud, would probably end her up in prison for years.

Pan could be kind and gentle, but was unforgiving, and could hold a grudge for as long as it took to avenge herself, as you can see.

And, as most teenage girls do when asked to tell their best friend (or thought to be best friend) an incredible story, Anne dove right in, telling every bit of juicy information that had gone on for the past two years.

Anne told Pan about how the night she had dissapeared, she had been walking home from Pan's house in the pitch-blackness of night, when a monster (a hydra, to be precise) had attacked her. Then, when he was about to eat her, a handsome boy by the name of Will Solace, came to her rescue, shooting down the beast with arrows of great accuracy. After introduceing himself, he had brought her back to Camp Half Blood, where she was claimed instantly as not the daughter of Athena, but of Aphrodite, despite her fierce look that night.

This, above all other things, boiled Pan's blood the most. She had always dreamed of becoming the daughter of Aphrodite. Sure, people had called her nice, kind, smart, even pretty, but she was never beautiful, or gorgeous. Unlike most of the girls going into 10th grade, Pan had never been asked out. For her eighth grade dance, she had stayed at home watching TV as everyone else went to the dance with new dresses and a boy to dance with.

Of course, this thought never made it past Pan's brain, never showed itself to Anne. After all, Pan had to get more information, to strategize the perfect revenge.

So, she smiled even more, and listened as Anne told her all about life at Camp Half Blood, and that she was on a quest at the moment, to assist a satyr in bringing back a new demigod, when she decided to stop by, and clear everything up with Pan, as she had wanting to do for a long time.

Well, maybe not a lot, or she would have come sooner, thought Pan spitefully.

Then, Anne mentioned how a new force had arisen, an enemy from the depths of Tartarus. Kronos, king of the Titans. How they would probably have to battle him soon. How he was recruiting demigods.

This, caught Pan's attention. An idea started forming in her head. She pushed it to the side though, to be thought about later, when she was alone. The idea itself would commence only a month later, though we're not there yet.

At one in the morning, Anne finally left, feeling she had made a new- old- friend, if there is such a thing.

As Pan closed the door, after waving goodbye to her new enemy, unbeknownst to the enemy, she knew, someday, no matter the wait, she WOULD kill Anne, and at that thought, jealousy burned through Pandamilon. And ambition. She had a purpose now. An unlawful, evil one, but a purpose soon enough.

She would formulate the best revenge there ever was. But , first things first: She needed to do her homework.

Hope you guys liked it! Even if you can probably guess what she's going to do. although, i just now thought of some plot twists in the future that might make this more interesting...

PS: please not only comment, but critisize, and , if you have any ideas, let me know!!! :)
last edited Больше года
Больше года 8xchristellax8 said…
cake
this is great :D i like how pan got an evil side and plans to kill anne, hehe
i wonder what pan's plan is :O
Больше года kkw1700 said…
sunny
OH SNAP!
Awshum chappie!
That you don't know the name of!
last edited Больше года
Больше года maiden4ever said…
monkey
Thanks!!!!!!!!! :) :) @christella and kkw1700 Glad you enjoyed it! :)
@christella- ya, i thought it would just be boring if everyone was good and they were fighting a major enemy like an army of monsters or something like that, so i made Pandamilon evil! :D I like her much better that way, personally. I can't wait for the last chapter of the fanfiction, i already have the PERFECT ending!

O MY GODS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I just got the PERFECT idea!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!­!!!­!!!­!
Больше года maiden4ever said…
laugh
Yay!!!!!!!!!!!! page 2!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Больше года 8xchristellax8 said…
big smile
cool cant wait 4 the ending :p
Больше года kkw1700 said…
smile
Looking forward to itt!
Больше года Phoenix_Stone said…
laugh
*Gasp*

Awshum-ness has been born. :O

PAN WANTS TO KILL ANNE. <-------- Coolio!! That rhymes!! XD

Please post soon!! :D
Больше года maiden4ever said…
smile
LOL!!!!!!!!!!!! Thanks guyz! i probably will write the next chapter in a day or two, probabaly on monday. :) But if i have time, maybe tomorrow. XD
Больше года corrected said…
this is great but is pan really a demigod
and if she is y didnt she go to camp too?
Больше года FairyWizard said…
heart
;D This is cool!
And am trying to place your anime pic...
Post soon!
Больше года 8xchristellax8 said…
laugh
^ im pretty sure its that one show called bleach. my friend's crazy for anime xD
Больше года maiden4ever said…
rainy
@8xchristellax8- Yep! :)

@corrected- You'll see... Buahahahahaha! XD

Sorry i didn't post today! I spent ALL DAY forced to go back-to-school-shopping for SIX AND A HALF HOURS!!!!!!!!! I will try to post tomorrow.
Больше года kkw1700 said…
^Ouch.
Больше года ioyeme567 said…
AWESOME!
Больше года Phoenix_Stone said…
big smile
YAAAYY!! :D

I can't wait!! :D :D :D
Больше года maiden4ever said…
big smile
Ch.3

Pan paced on the carpeted floor of the town library. It was a Sunday, so the library was closed, which meant she had it all to herself.

How did she get in then, if the library was closed? Let's just say that she had refined some certain skills she would might need on Camp Half-Blood quests.

Of course, then she didn't know they didn't want her. For what reason, Pan didn't know. Obviously, she was a deemigod. Maybe she was too powerful, Pan thought. Now just to find who her parent was... Ah, there it was.

Pan reacher her arm up, standing on her toes, and grabbed onto an old book on the top shelf. It was laminated, as most library books were, with a blue cover, and a red border. The gold lettering on the front read: The Greek Gods: A True History of Their Lives By:Alexandra Drakos, Daughter of Adicia

As Pandamilon flipped through it as she sat at one of the old wooden tables in the children's section, she began to notice a pattern.

Every goddess that she read about (she would not believe her godly parent was a guy) Was either evil or the daughter of someone evil. But the author, Alexandra Drakos, didn't make them sound like that.

No, she made them sound... important. Powerful. Insane. Worthy. As Pan read more, she felt oddly... understood. These women, these goddesses, they were real. They had enemies, desires. They wanted revenge, justice. Just like Pan.

But, Pan still hadn't found her mother. There were many options: Hecate, Apate, Invidia, Odyne, Erida, but none of them really spoke to her.

Except.. for one. Nyx. Goddess of Night. Mother of Thanatos. Feared by all. In the ancient myths, she was said to be more powerful than Zeus, who had avoided her at all costs.

Yes. Pandamilon, daughter of the goddess Nyx. Pan liked the sound of that. Alot.

Although, as pleased as she was, Pan still had a dillema, one that was in her path. She needed a sponsor. She needed power behind her, an easy way to get to Anne. And Pan knew the perfect one.

Except, she didn't know where she could contact him. No, she did. Anne. Yes. Pan would definintly see Anne soon. She'd make sure of it.
_________________________________________­___­___­___­___­___­___­___­___­___­___­___­___­
Hey Guyz! Sorry about the wait. I'm not sure this chapter was really productive, or interesting, but i thought it would be kinda important later on. Hope you enjoyed! :)
last edited Больше года
Больше года kkw1700 said…
awshumness.
Больше года maiden4ever said…
cool
Why thankyou :) @kkw1700
Больше года 8xchristellax8 said…
heart
ohmygods i want more!
Больше года fireyes said…
smirk
I like revenge stories.
Больше года corrected said…
ok that was a good post even though it wasa little short
Больше года corrected said…
im guessing that Pan is the "jealous mortal" and she is crazy because she thinks she has an immortal parent?
Больше года 8xchristellax8 said…
surprise
^ oh yea that makes sense!
Больше года kkw1700 said…
oooohhh... that makes things even better!
Больше года maiden4ever said…
laugh
Yep! :) @corrected

Srry it was so short everybody! :(
Больше года extraordinary25 said…
smile
Amazing chapter!!
Больше года 8xchristellax8 said…
kiss
post more plz!