Title: Sink или Swim
Author: fallensky_xx (KatiiCullen94)
Fandom: Twilight (Jacob/Bella)
Rating: PG-14 (Sucide themes)
Characters: Bella Swan, Alice Cullen, Charlie Swan, Jacob Black.
Genre: Depression, death, sucide
I looked at my tranformed face, as Alice stood behind me fiddling with my bridal hair, her face light up with her smile that shes worn since her first news of Edward and I's Engagement. My eyes were highlighted with the worlds most expensive mascara and eyeliner ,which was playing in огонь with my twitchy body, If it wasn't for Alice absolute vampiric balanced posture and naturE then I would in the ER, yes, just for Eyeliner in my eye. And my lips were sculpted with lipstick with some latin name. I looked like one of them, no-longer the Bella who existed this morning. I was offically Mrs.Cullen according in 15 mintues.
I felt my soul and future slowly being cut, string by string, watching them blow away, until they soon moulded in the infinite sky, I was alone and hallow, free to stuffed with the Cullen Culture.
All these months, almost a year, I always knew that I different to them, aside from their immortal being, but that I was much less then any human, I was the missing piece of a 5000 piece jigsaw. I would never fit with any sort of people, that's proberly why i accocated with Вампиры with Werewolfs. But секунда my секунда I felt the Любовь for Edward drain away, like blood travel throught water. Hi crimision eyes saw right throught me, He knows.
I knew that already downstairs, the highly decorated living room would be filling with people , here to celebrate my marriage to Edward, smiling and laughing with fellow guests, sipping on their completementry champagne , all dressed in their formal wear. If only they knew. If only my thoughts were open to interpreation. Itunes story," free, Bella Swans thoughts, save her". Perhaps then I would had time или maybe the strenghth to open my mouth, the portal to my heart. To see Jacob again.
Everything has been for Jacob, everything. Even this chair in which I sit, conpletplating my escape. Escape which Alice has failed to see. Failed because Jacob is the reason, the reason of everything. I can't live in a world without him. But he was gone, and soon I will be too.
"Bella?, Are Ты okay?"Her cherpy voice awoke me , from what appeared to her now as my strained stare of complete train of thought, and now explicit tear falling down my left cheek. I inhaled deeply, Актёрское искусство natural. Spinning my head to meet her, reassuring was the answer, they suspect nothing.
The biggest lie in history. I'm fine. But beleiveable.
"Alice, I'm really am Fine, I'm just so happy, Ты did amazing job, I was just practicing my vows, I think I may of wrote too much" I сказал(-а) with a whithered smile growing, sniffing. I almost felt my сердце begin to beat again. Her eyes still clinched, but her pupils slowly released.
I refocused on my pampered face, I leaned in the precisely to wipe away the tear without effecting the blended foundation. I then turned to Alice. My sister.My Любовь for her, never sested to decline. Her whole being here today made me reconsider my plans. But a simple thought of his name brought me back. That was a sad thing about Alice, my Любовь for her was easily defeated by my Любовь for Jacob.
She smiled once more, admiring her fine craftmenship. She was proud of herself, which I give to her with no doubts. I extended my arms around her. Empowering my last embrace with my best friend, if only she knew, the darkness that subsided her from my intentions made me fail to realease another tear, which lead to an acted laugh.
"I'm so sorry Alice, I'm teary again. I just can't beleive this time has come, soo soon, in минуты I think, We will be offically sisters, forever and ever." I сказал(-а) directly into her eyes, seeing her spirit for the last time.
'Bella, we have always been sisters, I Любовь you. Forever is nothing for whats in-store."
*Knock! Knock! Knock!*
" Father of the bride, wishes to see his beautiful daughter." I heared Charlie's voice from the other side of the door. Alice unlocked the door, with a click, and walked out swiftly, glancing at charlie with a look of accomplishment on accheiving the beauty part of his statement.
"Thank Ты Alice, Ты did great" He replied, watching her tip toe down the stairs. Exhaling then slowly turning his head towards me. I saw his eyes brighten up and his mind slowly one thought by thought begin go blank. His reaction was a compliment itself. I felt his сердце beat from where I was standing.
I was going to miss Charlie. His innocent look on the world, espcially on his daughters affiars.I Любовь that in his mind I was still that little baby that slept in his soft arms while he was watched the spring games.
At least that little girl was uncorupted.
Unable to медведь the silent moment anymore, I reached for him, bring on another embrace. I took in his after-shave and his colone scent for the last time.
"hmm Bella kiddo, Ты look absolutely lovely. Ты look just like your mum. If only she was here to see you. I have no doubt that she's looking down right now"
At least Mum as going to be waiting for me, as for Jacob.
"Thanks Dad, I can't beleive Ты let Alice pressure Ты into wearing the red tye, we all know that Ты always wear th blue tye bye in order to just blend and your distaste in dressing -up"
" Honey, speak for yourself, I can easily say that Alice created you" He chuckled with his moustache lifting. It was laugh that I remember when I was little, I felt my life flash before my eyes in that instant, in particular the times when Charlie used to make that laugh after just watching me falling over, the finally picking me up.
"Tsushay, I Любовь Ты Dad."
"Love Ты too Kiddo" He finished looking me up and down once more, Still in astonishment. From downstairs we started hearing people moving and the sound of people shifting in their chairs. He extended his arm, in order for me to cling on. The moment has come.
"Are Ты ready" He сказал(-а) nervously, I think he never thought that this moment would come. I kissed him on the check and smiled.
" I'll be right back. I want just quickly finish up, Ты know, girl stuff" I knew that was enough for Charlie, once female activity was brought up , the signal of Too much information started flashing and made Charlie retreat.
"Okay, but be quick " He сказал(-а) with a nervous and cracked voice.
I began to jog, lifting up my dress, down the hall, in the motion I looked into the glass relfection an saw Jacob running beside me, he was smiling, he knew our waiting was soon over. I slowly stopped at the door of the bathroom. I turned back at the glass window, Jacob was still there, his smile larger now.
I left my water in from my bath from this morning. Closing the door behind me, locking it with the same click. This was it. With no hesitation of removing the dress, I stood in the deep bath, gradually sitting down. With my toe I flicked on the water, letting it flood over.
"I Любовь Ты Jacob, my best friend, my lover, my herion, my drug, my heart, my love" and I sunk in the cold water, seeing my escape into his world, in which I do not wish to leave.
"BELLA!!!!!! BELLA!! please, Ты can't do this, Ты can't leave me,"
But it was too late.