Here is an excerpt from an Статья written by A. De Witt, a professional counselor, discussing infatuation and true love. I read several other Статьи on this topic (written by psychologists, medical professionals, and theological experts)and many say much of the same thing (except those who are еще medical in their approach and tend to talk about dopamine, adrenaline, and brain activities as related to infatuation and love). I found it fascinating as it related to the relationships found in the Twilight series:
"Infatuation is like a drug, или a form of madness. Ты are taken over by a whirlwind, Ты are consumed by thoughts of the other person and nothing else matters. Your life suddenly revolves around this person and Ты want to spend every waking moment with him или her. Ты are in a dream, dizzy with bliss. True love, on the other hand, is еще a sense of friendship and respect."
Like a “drug”. In the Twilight series, only one character was referred to as being like a “drug”. It wasn’t an adjective that was randomly pulled out of thin air. There is a reason why Edward was compared to narcotics; there is a reason why, every time Bella was with Edward, she felt a high, and every time he breathed upon her, she felt blissful. There is a reason why Bella considered Jacob as her best friend, and not Edward.
De Witt brings up ten basic Вопросы to ask oneself in order to dinstinguish whether one is feeling 'infatuation' или feeling 'true love'. After readin those questions, it became painfully clear that both Edward and Bella are very much infatuated with each other.
One Вопрос was "Do Ты have a life of your own?" De Witt goes on to say that with real love, Ты don't live for the other person completely. By that definition, and from what we saw in New Moon, neither Bella nor Edward were willing to "live" without the other. It's terribly romantic, but it's also "infatuation".
Another Вопрос was "How would Ты feel if your Любовь was unrequited? Could Ты Любовь the other person enough to respect his или her choices, even if those choices exclude you?" Real Любовь needs nothing in return. Here again, when Bella believed that Edward no longer wanted her, her life as she knew it "ended". She was addicted to Edward and needed his "love" in order to survive, but, again, this is an example of infatuation. A person who truly loves another can function even if he/she is not loved back, and he/she will continue to Любовь that person no matter what the circumstances.
One of the most important Вопросы asked by De Witt (along with his comments) was this:
“Can Ты be open and honest with your partner without fear of rejection? Are Ты able to be yourself? или do Ты hide your weaknesses and try only to Показать your strengths? When Ты truly Любовь another, Ты don't concern yourself with impressing your beloved. Rather, Ты are еще interested in serving your lover and Ты know that is easier to do when Ты are honest.”
Just taking this one point, it already tells us that Jacob was on the right track with Bella. He always believed honesty was the best policy when it came to Bella. Edward took it upon himself to decide when to be honest with her and when not to be.
Naturally, how brutally honest Ты want to be may depend upon the person receiving the information. Jacob understood Bella’s emotional strength and understood how much information she could take without having a nervous breakdown. He was all for telling Bella about Victoria and knew she would be able to handle it internally. Edward decided that he should simply take Bella to Florida without telling her that a killer vampire was after her. Ultimately, Bella was upset that she was the last to be informed about this while Paul, Jasper, and her dear Друзья risked their lives to find Victoria. Even though Edward had noble intentions, he did not understand Bella’s capacity to handle her fears against the threat upon her life, whereas Jacob did.
In essence, Edward wants to keep Bella from the “evils of the world” and have her experience only the good as much as possible. Although this is idealistic, it is far from realistic and definitely unbalanced. Ты just cannot avoid the yin and have just the yang. Edward also thought Bella should be spared any information that would hurt her emotionally. Constantly sheltering someone from hurting is not doing a person any good, and in many cases, it is actually еще harmful. Take a child who is vaccinated continuously every год and a child who is minimally vaccinated and is often exposed to small doses of viruses in the air in everyday life. In the end, the latter will be physically stronger because the small doses of virus serve as a form of immunity for the body. Protecting a person from being hurt is going to make the person emotionally vulnerable in the long run and it is less healthy.
Taking all this in and seeing how evident it is that what Edward and Bella have is infatuation, whereas what she has with Jacob is love, why do the majority root for Edward and Bella? Simple. We, as humans, Любовь infatuation, also known as “romantic love”. If asked to name some of the greatest Любовь stories in history, we come up with stories like “Romeo and Juliet”, “Wuthering Heights”, “Moulin Rouge”, “Somewhere in Time”, etc. There is a recurring pattern in these types of stories. The “love” between the Влюбленные is like fireworks – they’re grand, they make a bang, they are romantically showy, and then they die. True love, which is based on friendship and reality, is boring to read about. Humans have to live with daily stress of daily life and we want to at least escape that when we’re relaxing and enjoying a book. We want the Фэнтези and the “obsessive (albeit unhealthy) love” because “true love” is not flashy enough to make us turn the pages. It doesn’t matter that one или both of the Влюбленные end up dead – they had that moment of pure bliss and passion!
One professional matchmaker noted “it’s not so much that we really adore those grand Любовь stories. Rather, it's that we're thankful that all the bad stuff is not happening to us.” With stories like Romeo and Juliet, we don’t have to deal with reality that might have taken place had both of them lived. Their passions would have cooled off, and as one writer of ‘love and infatuation’ put it, “Romeo would have started spending too much time with his pals and not enough on the balcony. Juliet's pushy mother would have started nagging for her to have a baby.” Who wants to read about that?
The Любовь between Jacob and Bella is too rooted in reality. Their Любовь is comfortable and honest; it would have been the normal route for Bella in a normal world; Jacob is her best friend and her sun. Edward is sheer bliss and passion; he is the eclipse that hides the sun and pulls us into the mysterious realms; he is the dangerous adventure readers want to take but cannot do so in reality because of grades, school, college, mortgage, children, what have you. It is no wonder Edward has a much bigger following, even if, in reality, Jacob Black would have been the right choice.
"Infatuation is like a drug, или a form of madness. Ты are taken over by a whirlwind, Ты are consumed by thoughts of the other person and nothing else matters. Your life suddenly revolves around this person and Ты want to spend every waking moment with him или her. Ты are in a dream, dizzy with bliss. True love, on the other hand, is еще a sense of friendship and respect."
Like a “drug”. In the Twilight series, only one character was referred to as being like a “drug”. It wasn’t an adjective that was randomly pulled out of thin air. There is a reason why Edward was compared to narcotics; there is a reason why, every time Bella was with Edward, she felt a high, and every time he breathed upon her, she felt blissful. There is a reason why Bella considered Jacob as her best friend, and not Edward.
De Witt brings up ten basic Вопросы to ask oneself in order to dinstinguish whether one is feeling 'infatuation' или feeling 'true love'. After readin those questions, it became painfully clear that both Edward and Bella are very much infatuated with each other.
One Вопрос was "Do Ты have a life of your own?" De Witt goes on to say that with real love, Ты don't live for the other person completely. By that definition, and from what we saw in New Moon, neither Bella nor Edward were willing to "live" without the other. It's terribly romantic, but it's also "infatuation".
Another Вопрос was "How would Ты feel if your Любовь was unrequited? Could Ты Любовь the other person enough to respect his или her choices, even if those choices exclude you?" Real Любовь needs nothing in return. Here again, when Bella believed that Edward no longer wanted her, her life as she knew it "ended". She was addicted to Edward and needed his "love" in order to survive, but, again, this is an example of infatuation. A person who truly loves another can function even if he/she is not loved back, and he/she will continue to Любовь that person no matter what the circumstances.
One of the most important Вопросы asked by De Witt (along with his comments) was this:
“Can Ты be open and honest with your partner without fear of rejection? Are Ты able to be yourself? или do Ты hide your weaknesses and try only to Показать your strengths? When Ты truly Любовь another, Ты don't concern yourself with impressing your beloved. Rather, Ты are еще interested in serving your lover and Ты know that is easier to do when Ты are honest.”
Just taking this one point, it already tells us that Jacob was on the right track with Bella. He always believed honesty was the best policy when it came to Bella. Edward took it upon himself to decide when to be honest with her and when not to be.
Naturally, how brutally honest Ты want to be may depend upon the person receiving the information. Jacob understood Bella’s emotional strength and understood how much information she could take without having a nervous breakdown. He was all for telling Bella about Victoria and knew she would be able to handle it internally. Edward decided that he should simply take Bella to Florida without telling her that a killer vampire was after her. Ultimately, Bella was upset that she was the last to be informed about this while Paul, Jasper, and her dear Друзья risked their lives to find Victoria. Even though Edward had noble intentions, he did not understand Bella’s capacity to handle her fears against the threat upon her life, whereas Jacob did.
In essence, Edward wants to keep Bella from the “evils of the world” and have her experience only the good as much as possible. Although this is idealistic, it is far from realistic and definitely unbalanced. Ты just cannot avoid the yin and have just the yang. Edward also thought Bella should be spared any information that would hurt her emotionally. Constantly sheltering someone from hurting is not doing a person any good, and in many cases, it is actually еще harmful. Take a child who is vaccinated continuously every год and a child who is minimally vaccinated and is often exposed to small doses of viruses in the air in everyday life. In the end, the latter will be physically stronger because the small doses of virus serve as a form of immunity for the body. Protecting a person from being hurt is going to make the person emotionally vulnerable in the long run and it is less healthy.
Taking all this in and seeing how evident it is that what Edward and Bella have is infatuation, whereas what she has with Jacob is love, why do the majority root for Edward and Bella? Simple. We, as humans, Любовь infatuation, also known as “romantic love”. If asked to name some of the greatest Любовь stories in history, we come up with stories like “Romeo and Juliet”, “Wuthering Heights”, “Moulin Rouge”, “Somewhere in Time”, etc. There is a recurring pattern in these types of stories. The “love” between the Влюбленные is like fireworks – they’re grand, they make a bang, they are romantically showy, and then they die. True love, which is based on friendship and reality, is boring to read about. Humans have to live with daily stress of daily life and we want to at least escape that when we’re relaxing and enjoying a book. We want the Фэнтези and the “obsessive (albeit unhealthy) love” because “true love” is not flashy enough to make us turn the pages. It doesn’t matter that one или both of the Влюбленные end up dead – they had that moment of pure bliss and passion!
One professional matchmaker noted “it’s not so much that we really adore those grand Любовь stories. Rather, it's that we're thankful that all the bad stuff is not happening to us.” With stories like Romeo and Juliet, we don’t have to deal with reality that might have taken place had both of them lived. Their passions would have cooled off, and as one writer of ‘love and infatuation’ put it, “Romeo would have started spending too much time with his pals and not enough on the balcony. Juliet's pushy mother would have started nagging for her to have a baby.” Who wants to read about that?
The Любовь between Jacob and Bella is too rooted in reality. Their Любовь is comfortable and honest; it would have been the normal route for Bella in a normal world; Jacob is her best friend and her sun. Edward is sheer bliss and passion; he is the eclipse that hides the sun and pulls us into the mysterious realms; he is the dangerous adventure readers want to take but cannot do so in reality because of grades, school, college, mortgage, children, what have you. It is no wonder Edward has a much bigger following, even if, in reality, Jacob Black would have been the right choice.
Dreamed last night about a time and place
Where from our troubles we had escaped
I held your hand and I felt complete
As Ты turned and сказал(-а) to me
From now on
From now on we'll be
Ты and me
We will be
From now on
From now on we'll be
Ты and me
Ты and me, we will be
Years went by and nothing changed
The Любовь we shared just stayed the same
As hair grew grey on вверх of our heads
Every night I quietly said
From now on
From now on we'll be
Ты and me
We will be
From now on
From now on we'll be
Ты and me
Ты and me, we will be
Only a dream
Only a dream
Only a dream
From now on
Only a dream
From now on
Only a dream
From now on
Only a dream
From now on
Ты and me, we will be
Where from our troubles we had escaped
I held your hand and I felt complete
As Ты turned and сказал(-а) to me
From now on
From now on we'll be
Ты and me
We will be
From now on
From now on we'll be
Ты and me
Ты and me, we will be
Years went by and nothing changed
The Любовь we shared just stayed the same
As hair grew grey on вверх of our heads
Every night I quietly said
From now on
From now on we'll be
Ты and me
We will be
From now on
From now on we'll be
Ты and me
Ты and me, we will be
Only a dream
Only a dream
Only a dream
From now on
Only a dream
From now on
Only a dream
From now on
Only a dream
From now on
Ты and me, we will be
I done me wrong
I done all wrong
All the wrong I done
I’m sure to live quite long
I done all wrong
I done me wrong
All the wrong I done
I’m sure to live quite, quite long
All the wrong I done
Will be undone in song
All the wrong I done
Will be undone in song
If you’re doing wrong
If Ты done all wrong
Ты can rest assure
You’re gonna live quite long
If Ты done all wrong
You’re doing wrong
Ты can rest assure
You’re gonna live quite, quite long
All the wrong Ты done
Will be undone in song
All the wrong Ты done
Will be undone in song
We’re doing wrong
We all done wrong
If we did no wrong
I’m sure we would be gone
I done all wrong
All the wrong I done
I’m sure to live quite long
I done all wrong
I done me wrong
All the wrong I done
I’m sure to live quite, quite long
All the wrong I done
Will be undone in song
All the wrong I done
Will be undone in song
If you’re doing wrong
If Ты done all wrong
Ты can rest assure
You’re gonna live quite long
If Ты done all wrong
You’re doing wrong
Ты can rest assure
You’re gonna live quite, quite long
All the wrong Ты done
Will be undone in song
All the wrong Ты done
Will be undone in song
We’re doing wrong
We all done wrong
If we did no wrong
I’m sure we would be gone
A tear in my brain
Allows the voices in
They wanna push Ты off the path
With their frequency wires
And Ты can do no wrong
In my eyes
In my eyes
Ты can do no wrong
In my eyes
In my eyes
A drunken salesman
Your hearing damage
Your mind is restless
They say you’re getting better
But Ты don’t feel any better
(In my eyes
In my eyes)
Your speakers are blowing
Your ears are wrecking
Your hearing damage
Ты wish Ты felt better
Ты wish Ты felt better
(In my eyes
A better place)
Ты can do no wrong
In my eyes
In my eyes
Ты can do no wrong
In my eyes
In my eyes
In my eyes
In my eyes
In my eyes
In my eyes
Allows the voices in
They wanna push Ты off the path
With their frequency wires
And Ты can do no wrong
In my eyes
In my eyes
Ты can do no wrong
In my eyes
In my eyes
A drunken salesman
Your hearing damage
Your mind is restless
They say you’re getting better
But Ты don’t feel any better
(In my eyes
In my eyes)
Your speakers are blowing
Your ears are wrecking
Your hearing damage
Ты wish Ты felt better
Ты wish Ты felt better
(In my eyes
A better place)
Ты can do no wrong
In my eyes
In my eyes
Ты can do no wrong
In my eyes
In my eyes
In my eyes
In my eyes
In my eyes
In my eyes
Ah, ah, ah ,ah, ah
Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah
Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah
Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah
I seek Ты out
Flay Ты alive
One еще word and Ты won’t survive
And I’m not scared of your stolen power
See right through Ты any hour
I won’t soothe your pain
I won’t ease your strain
You’ll be waiting in vain
I got nothing for Ты to gain
I’m taking it slow
Feeding my flame
Shuffling the cards of your game
And just in time
In the right place
Suddenly I will play my ace
I won’t soothe your pain
(Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah)
I won’t ease your strain
(Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah)
You’ll be waiting in vain
(Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah)
I got nothing for Ты to gain
Eyes on fire
Your spine is ablaze
Felling any foe with my gaze
And just in time
In the right place
Steadily emerging with grace
Aaaaahhhhh
Felling any foe with my gaze
Aaaaahhhhh
Steadily emerging with grace
Aaaaahhhhh
Felling any foe with my gaze
Aaaaahhhhh
Steadily emerging with grace
Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah
Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah
Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah
I seek Ты out
Flay Ты alive
One еще word and Ты won’t survive
And I’m not scared of your stolen power
See right through Ты any hour
I won’t soothe your pain
I won’t ease your strain
You’ll be waiting in vain
I got nothing for Ты to gain
I’m taking it slow
Feeding my flame
Shuffling the cards of your game
And just in time
In the right place
Suddenly I will play my ace
I won’t soothe your pain
(Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah)
I won’t ease your strain
(Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah)
You’ll be waiting in vain
(Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah)
I got nothing for Ты to gain
Eyes on fire
Your spine is ablaze
Felling any foe with my gaze
And just in time
In the right place
Steadily emerging with grace
Aaaaahhhhh
Felling any foe with my gaze
Aaaaahhhhh
Steadily emerging with grace
Aaaaahhhhh
Felling any foe with my gaze
Aaaaahhhhh
Steadily emerging with grace
The час has begun
Your eyes have now opened
To a world where madness craves
To a world where hope’s enslaved
Oh I tremble for my Любовь always
Your window’s opened wide
Your innocence takes flight
To a world where madness craves
To a world where hope’s enslaved
Oh I tremble for my Любовь always
It’s a world where madness craves
It’s a world where hope’s enslaved
Oh I tremble for my Любовь always
It’s a world where madness craves
It’s a world where hope’s enslaved
Yeah I tremble for Ты Любовь always
Your eyes have now opened
To a world where madness craves
To a world where hope’s enslaved
Oh I tremble for my Любовь always
Your window’s opened wide
Your innocence takes flight
To a world where madness craves
To a world where hope’s enslaved
Oh I tremble for my Любовь always
It’s a world where madness craves
It’s a world where hope’s enslaved
Oh I tremble for my Любовь always
It’s a world where madness craves
It’s a world where hope’s enslaved
Yeah I tremble for Ты Любовь always
When the thorn куст, буш turns white that’s when I’ll come home
I am going out to see what I can sow
And I don’t know where I’ll go
And I don’t know what I’ll see
But I’ll try not to bring it back Главная with me
Like the morning sun your eyes will follow me
As Ты watch me wander, curse the powers that be
‘Cause all I want is here and now
But it’s already been and gone
Our intentions always last that bit too long
Far, far away, no voices sounding
No one around me and you’re still there
Far, far away, no choices passing
No time confounds me and you’re still there
In the full moon’s light I listen to the stream
And in between the silence hear Ты calling me
But I don’t know where I am
And I don’t trust who I’ve been
But if I come Главная how will I ever leave
I am going out to see what I can sow
And I don’t know where I’ll go
And I don’t know what I’ll see
But I’ll try not to bring it back Главная with me
Like the morning sun your eyes will follow me
As Ты watch me wander, curse the powers that be
‘Cause all I want is here and now
But it’s already been and gone
Our intentions always last that bit too long
Far, far away, no voices sounding
No one around me and you’re still there
Far, far away, no choices passing
No time confounds me and you’re still there
In the full moon’s light I listen to the stream
And in between the silence hear Ты calling me
But I don’t know where I am
And I don’t trust who I’ve been
But if I come Главная how will I ever leave
They've nominated the flick for 8 of their Razzie awards, which are like the Oscars but for the "worsts" of the year, so they're a little еще fun.
Breaking Dawn was nominated for:
•Worst Picture
•Worst Screenplay
•Worst Prequel, Remake, Rip-Off, или Sequel
•Worst Director
•Worst Screen Ensemble
•Worst Actor: Taylor Lautner
•Worst Actress: Kristen Stewart
•Worst Screen Couple
Do Ты think Breaking Dawn deserves the nominations?
Breaking Dawn may have been a smash hit with Twihards all over the world, but the Golden малина foundation was impressed for a different reason.
They've nominated the flick for 8 of their Razzie awards, which are like the Oscars but for the "worsts" of the year, so they're a little еще fun.
Breaking Dawn was nominated for:
•Worst Picture
•Worst Screenplay
•Worst Prequel, Remake, Rip-Off, или Sequel
•Worst Director
•Worst Screen Ensemble
•Worst Actor: Taylor Lautner
•Worst Actress: Kristen Stewart
•Worst Screen Couple
Do Ты think Breaking Dawn deserves the nominations?
They've nominated the flick for 8 of their Razzie awards, which are like the Oscars but for the "worsts" of the year, so they're a little еще fun.
Breaking Dawn was nominated for:
•Worst Picture
•Worst Screenplay
•Worst Prequel, Remake, Rip-Off, или Sequel
•Worst Director
•Worst Screen Ensemble
•Worst Actor: Taylor Lautner
•Worst Actress: Kristen Stewart
•Worst Screen Couple
Do Ты think Breaking Dawn deserves the nominations?