2. Put up fliers saying "Lost Dog" with his picture on it.
3. Give him mouthwash for his birthday. Tell him he has dog breath.
4. Constantly remind him that Bella would rather ‘die’ then be with him.
6. When he’s a werewolf steal his pants.
7. Paint his motor bike hot pink.
8. Buy him a cat.
9. Name it Edward.
10. Buy him dog food. Act offended when he won’t eat it.
11. Ask him what he’s getting Edward and Bella for a wedding present.
12. Tell him Bella is allergic to dogs.
14. Call the dog pound on him when he fazes
15. Lock him in a room with Edward
17. Tell him that Aro and Bella are eloping in Mexico and he’s not invited.
18. Tell him he’s not a REAL werewolf, he’s just a shapes shifter
19. Ask him about puberty.
20. Force him to watch акула boy and Lava girl
21. Ask him if he thinks Taylor Lautner looks hot in a tight leather suit (Shark boy )
22. Tell him he’s Remus Lupin and Sirius Black’s crack child.
23. When he doesn’t believe you, ask him why his last name is BLACK, and he’s a WEREWOLF.
25. Every time he does something nice say, 'Good boy!'
26. Показать him the honeymoon scene in Breaking Dawn.
28. Tell him to sit and wave a dog бисквит, печенье in his face.
29. Buy him a dog постель, кровати for his birthday
30. Ask him if he’ll be your ‘guard dog’.
31. Показать him Edward/Bella Фан art, particularly ‘PG-13 – NC17’ Rated things
32. Start an ‘Edward dazzles me’ Фан club and elect him as president.
33. Force him to attend the meetings, every week.
34. Ask him if he actually drinks out of the toilet
35. Refuse to believe him when he says no.
36. Ask him if Edward dazzles him.
37. When he says no, use his catch phrase. "Sure, Sure." Just to piss him off.
39. While he’s sleeping put ketchup packets all around his bed, making it impossible to get out of bed.
40. Laugh at him when he tries anyway.
this is true
Hey, I'm typing away at Главная while my dad takes Mom on an extensive trip to France! Jacob could hardly contain his excitement! Seriously, He's burst into a dog three times- oh, not again Jake! Four times. Anyways, whenever my parents are out, my dad posts up a Список of rules. Here's what he wrote.
Renesmee,
your mom and I are going to France. Do not take advantage of this with Jacob. Tell Alice where you're going, and DON'T go to La Push. Watch for bears, and don't go anywhere near the hunting zone. No Друзья over later than 10:00PM unless it's Jacob(even then don't try anything funny.). Jacob is not allowed on your bed(and I don't care if he's in dog form.). Alice will come over to check in on Ты regularly, but call her if Ты need help.
-Dad
Ugh. As if Jake and I would do anything stupid. I think Jake was planning on that, though. Well, I hear Jake break something upstairs. I'm gonna see what he's up to. Later!
Renesmee,
your mom and I are going to France. Do not take advantage of this with Jacob. Tell Alice where you're going, and DON'T go to La Push. Watch for bears, and don't go anywhere near the hunting zone. No Друзья over later than 10:00PM unless it's Jacob(even then don't try anything funny.). Jacob is not allowed on your bed(and I don't care if he's in dog form.). Alice will come over to check in on Ты regularly, but call her if Ты need help.
-Dad
Ugh. As if Jake and I would do anything stupid. I think Jake was planning on that, though. Well, I hear Jake break something upstairs. I'm gonna see what he's up to. Later!
When she first looked into her daughters dark Шоколад eyes she felt Любовь and happiness. The soft broze curls in her hair shot a feeling of hope in her body;that she was alive.She felt Любовь for this little one.
A kind of Любовь she had never felt before:of Любовь and protection. The kind of Любовь a mother feels.A Любовь so passionate it hurt for her to feel.
The Энджел looking back at her was the most beutiful she had ever seen. No one had ever imagined such beuty.
Then the little cherub clutched her mothers finger and the two felt Любовь and happiness forever.
..............................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................
A kind of Любовь she had never felt before:of Любовь and protection. The kind of Любовь a mother feels.A Любовь so passionate it hurt for her to feel.
The Энджел looking back at her was the most beutiful she had ever seen. No one had ever imagined such beuty.
Then the little cherub clutched her mothers finger and the two felt Любовь and happiness forever.
..............................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................
10. Tell her that, because everyone thinks she and Jasper are twins, they should get together. When she asks why, say that Incest is in at the moment.
9. Call her “Ice Queen” behind her back and to her face.
8. Whenever she argues anything, respond with “Whatever, bimbo.”
7. Claim that being a human ain’t so great.
6. When she argues the above claim, respond with “Whatever, bimbo.”
5. Try to exorcise her and her evil ways.
4. Tell everyone that Edward didn’t go to Italy because Rosalie сказал(-а) Bella was dead – he went to Italy because he envisioned Rosalie’s ugly face.
3. Call her “Hoe-salie” at least once, to her face.
2. Remind her that Edward chose a pathetic human girl over her.
And the Number One way to annoy Rosalie Hale?
1. Steal her silver cell phone and change the ringtone to “Roxanne” by The Police. When she asks why the hell Ты did it, say that she reminds Ты of Roxanne.
9. Call her “Ice Queen” behind her back and to her face.
8. Whenever she argues anything, respond with “Whatever, bimbo.”
7. Claim that being a human ain’t so great.
6. When she argues the above claim, respond with “Whatever, bimbo.”
5. Try to exorcise her and her evil ways.
4. Tell everyone that Edward didn’t go to Italy because Rosalie сказал(-а) Bella was dead – he went to Italy because he envisioned Rosalie’s ugly face.
3. Call her “Hoe-salie” at least once, to her face.
2. Remind her that Edward chose a pathetic human girl over her.
And the Number One way to annoy Rosalie Hale?
1. Steal her silver cell phone and change the ringtone to “Roxanne” by The Police. When she asks why the hell Ты did it, say that she reminds Ты of Roxanne.
I drew this on the computer:D
